I just don't get some of the things that people do at the bar. Lots of people pick up bad habits from friends. Apply it. Think it's cool but don't know that the things they do irritates others. What things am I talking about?
People just don't get that tearing out the labels from beer bottles and sticking them on glasses or the table tops can be time consuming to remove or clean up. Another thing is when people tear up coasters into pieces and try to place it back into the original shape and make a jigsaw puzzle out of it. They leave it there so when someone tries to pick it up it falls apart instead of just one piece. There's many pieces that needs to be cleared so more time is lost.
These people also make things worse when they place chewing gum under the tables or chairs. It's not only disgusting when others have to clean it but it's also socially wrong. The chewing gum companies know that this is a problem and they leave clear messages on their wrappers telling people to keep the foil so they can dispose of it later. This bit seems to skip the intelligence of these people. Sometimes they even just throw it on the ground and this makes it more difficult to remove.
Why do people pick up on these bad habits. Most of the time we see that it's a lot of younger people doing it. They are suppose to be the future leaders of the world. Instead they are showing a bad example and the worse part is that they either don't care or don't see that bad habits like these are socially wrong and their character is tarnished because they act in this manner.
Other bad habits can be spitting on the road. They don't know that this can lead to people getting tuberculosis. Some people don't flush the toilet after use. Some don't wash their hands either. If an ice bucket is place on the table for their drinks, some use their hands instead of the tongs. God only knows what they touched before contaminating all those other ice cubes that others will be placing in their drinks. Think about it. Some guy scratched his ass in the toilet and then placed it in the same ice bucket that you're going to take from to use in your drink. Tasty, isn't it?
There's so many other bad habits that people do as well. One thing that I sense is that these people tend to pick them up from their circle of friends. It becomes something that is normal to them and they think that everyone does it so it's not wrong or that it's not a bad habit at all. Parents can only do so much to teach but the individual person has to make a conscious effort to change and tell others that the things they do are wrong.
Bar advice. A friend is someone that will tell you the truth in your face. Not ignore it or stay away from the topic because of the friendship.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Response
The other day I went to another bar after work. I had been there before and knew several people. Initially I went to a friends one that was above. Later I went to this particular one and got a real surprise.
As I was enjoying myself a friend later came over to tell me about some business that I helped him with in putting the right people to see him and solve the problem. he then left. I looked across the bar and this girl that I met two weeks ago was there. She smiled at me from the lower side of the bar. I raised my glass to her like a toast. Later I moved up a little when the area was not so crowded. i finally got a little closer to her when suddenly it happened.
She turned and was still smiling. I said hello and so did she. Then I said, " Sorry I can't remember your name". In one swift answer she replied, " Well, that's your loss". I was stunned at the response. This nice looking girl that I just met two weeks ago and barely got her name but now forgot, had turned into this stuck up bitch. I actually felt angry. I went over to her and said that I really did forget but she was adamant not to speak to me. I backed away. I guessed she must have read some girly magazine article that told her it was better to shoot down a guy if they forget your name.
I figured the loss was hers. I'll probably see her again but no salutations will I give her. I'll see what she does next. If she did get this advice from some magazine I just advise her to stop subscriptions because the articles are only going to ruin her love life.
Bar advice. They say don't judge a book by it's cover. Well this cover was great but the content wasn't.
As I was enjoying myself a friend later came over to tell me about some business that I helped him with in putting the right people to see him and solve the problem. he then left. I looked across the bar and this girl that I met two weeks ago was there. She smiled at me from the lower side of the bar. I raised my glass to her like a toast. Later I moved up a little when the area was not so crowded. i finally got a little closer to her when suddenly it happened.
She turned and was still smiling. I said hello and so did she. Then I said, " Sorry I can't remember your name". In one swift answer she replied, " Well, that's your loss". I was stunned at the response. This nice looking girl that I just met two weeks ago and barely got her name but now forgot, had turned into this stuck up bitch. I actually felt angry. I went over to her and said that I really did forget but she was adamant not to speak to me. I backed away. I guessed she must have read some girly magazine article that told her it was better to shoot down a guy if they forget your name.
I figured the loss was hers. I'll probably see her again but no salutations will I give her. I'll see what she does next. If she did get this advice from some magazine I just advise her to stop subscriptions because the articles are only going to ruin her love life.
Bar advice. They say don't judge a book by it's cover. Well this cover was great but the content wasn't.
Synchronicity
Here is something that we may not understand or even know about but in this cycle of life many things occur that cannot be explained or better still is just too coincidental. It's a synchronic phenomena. Here's an example.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both their wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head in the presence of their wives.
The Secretary of each President warned them not to go to the theatre and Dallas, respectively.
Lincoln’s Secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both Presidents were assassinated by Southerners.
Both Presidents were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins:
Were known by their three names.
Have fifteen letters in their names.
Were murdered by men who pleaded insanity.
Were thought to be involved in a conspiracy.
John Wilkes Booth ran from the theatre and was captured in a warehouse.
Lee Harvey Oswald ran from a warehouse and was captured in a theatre.
There are no accidents. Just synchronicity wheels commonly known as the gears of time or the wheels of time, the wheel of karma. As seen above, not all synchronicities are positive. Sometimes these lead to learning lessons when you are deceived into thinking that it is the right road to take at that moment in time.
This is not always the case. If you are dysfunctional of dramatic inclinations, you will attract dysfunctional people and events. There are two fundamental types of synchronicity:
1. One in which the compensatory activity of the archetype is experienced both inwardly and outwardly. (The event seems to emerge from the subconscious with access to absolute knowledge, which cannot be consciously known.)
2. One in which the compensatory activity of the archetype is experienced outwardly only. (These convey to the ego a much needed wholeness of the self’s perspective; they show one a new perspective).
At a point in time, you might feel that you have met someone who interests you and touches your soul. Through synchronicity, that person seems to come into your life over and over again. You begin to feel a destiny with that person. You begin to think with your heart instead of your head. You connect with that person. In some cases, the karma between the two people is positive; but, in many cases, you have attracted that person into your life for a learning lesson whether you are aware of it or not. You won't know the dangers till it's too late.
An event can be considered synchronistic when an inner experience such as a dream, vision, or other form of déjà vu prepares you for the physical event. All synchronistic phenomena may or may not form in our lives.
Bar Advice. Not to put anyone on the alert but some people probably can tell you a story or two about this happening in their lives. It may not be so dramatic but still happened to them.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both their wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head in the presence of their wives.
The Secretary of each President warned them not to go to the theatre and Dallas, respectively.
Lincoln’s Secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both Presidents were assassinated by Southerners.
Both Presidents were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins:
Were known by their three names.
Have fifteen letters in their names.
Were murdered by men who pleaded insanity.
Were thought to be involved in a conspiracy.
John Wilkes Booth ran from the theatre and was captured in a warehouse.
Lee Harvey Oswald ran from a warehouse and was captured in a theatre.
There are no accidents. Just synchronicity wheels commonly known as the gears of time or the wheels of time, the wheel of karma. As seen above, not all synchronicities are positive. Sometimes these lead to learning lessons when you are deceived into thinking that it is the right road to take at that moment in time.
This is not always the case. If you are dysfunctional of dramatic inclinations, you will attract dysfunctional people and events. There are two fundamental types of synchronicity:
1. One in which the compensatory activity of the archetype is experienced both inwardly and outwardly. (The event seems to emerge from the subconscious with access to absolute knowledge, which cannot be consciously known.)
2. One in which the compensatory activity of the archetype is experienced outwardly only. (These convey to the ego a much needed wholeness of the self’s perspective; they show one a new perspective).
At a point in time, you might feel that you have met someone who interests you and touches your soul. Through synchronicity, that person seems to come into your life over and over again. You begin to feel a destiny with that person. You begin to think with your heart instead of your head. You connect with that person. In some cases, the karma between the two people is positive; but, in many cases, you have attracted that person into your life for a learning lesson whether you are aware of it or not. You won't know the dangers till it's too late.
An event can be considered synchronistic when an inner experience such as a dream, vision, or other form of déjà vu prepares you for the physical event. All synchronistic phenomena may or may not form in our lives.
Bar Advice. Not to put anyone on the alert but some people probably can tell you a story or two about this happening in their lives. It may not be so dramatic but still happened to them.
What if she has a boyfriend?
A lot of guys ask this, "What if she tells me she has a boyfriend?"
The fact is, most beautiful women have a boyfriend most of the time. If men are like spiders trying to catch as many women into their web as they can, women are like swinging tree-monkeys, swinging from boyfriend to boyfriend but never letting go of the first without having a second lined up to grab onto. So you can't just ignore women with boyfriends or you'll severely limit your options.
Most of the time if a girl says she has a boyfriend just ignore it and keep gaming her like normal. Usually, the girl will come around. By the way, the worst thing you can do is let it stop you dead in your tracks, the girl is testing you to see if you're a wuss. Guys got to learn that women like the chase. It's the thrill of the guys attention and pursuit that also triggers desire in her.
One technique to use is a "boyfriend destroyer". A boyfriend destroyer is especially effective if her boyfriend is not meeting her core values and she's looking to leave him anyway and just needs an extra nudge out. This is a way of rooting out the bad her boyfriend has done and making her want to dump him even more. Ask her about why she feels for him still even if he's not making her happy. She'll rattle on about things he didn't do or times he hurt her. Just nod and agree and eventually change the subject because you don't want to let the negative feelings fall on to you because at that moment all men will seem like scum to her.
Another way is to ask a girl what her boyfriend is like. You got to do this in a casual conversation. She'll of course start telling you all about him. You'll probably get the juicy details about how nice he is and such but try to find out what she doesn't like about him or the things he does that drives her up the wall. Why are you so interested in her boyfriend? You're not, what you're doing is gathering information on things she likes and dislikes about a man. She is volunteering this without her even knowing it. You may be able to put some moves on her but slowly because she's still with another guy. Find ways to hint that you like her of sorts. Maybe get her number.
One thing is that some girls are just ga-ga over their boyfriends. Those guys can't do anything wrong even if it was done in front of her. These girls, you can forget about. She loves him and there will be no hope of them splitting up. He will be forgiven for all wrongs so cutting in is near impossible. Sometimes you got to bow out of the scene and take centre stage elsewhere.
Bar advice. Not to say that it's good to take another guys girlfriend but if you like someone, go get her. Advice here is remember this. Other guys may just do the same to your girlfriend against you with this same tactic.
The fact is, most beautiful women have a boyfriend most of the time. If men are like spiders trying to catch as many women into their web as they can, women are like swinging tree-monkeys, swinging from boyfriend to boyfriend but never letting go of the first without having a second lined up to grab onto. So you can't just ignore women with boyfriends or you'll severely limit your options.
Most of the time if a girl says she has a boyfriend just ignore it and keep gaming her like normal. Usually, the girl will come around. By the way, the worst thing you can do is let it stop you dead in your tracks, the girl is testing you to see if you're a wuss. Guys got to learn that women like the chase. It's the thrill of the guys attention and pursuit that also triggers desire in her.
One technique to use is a "boyfriend destroyer". A boyfriend destroyer is especially effective if her boyfriend is not meeting her core values and she's looking to leave him anyway and just needs an extra nudge out. This is a way of rooting out the bad her boyfriend has done and making her want to dump him even more. Ask her about why she feels for him still even if he's not making her happy. She'll rattle on about things he didn't do or times he hurt her. Just nod and agree and eventually change the subject because you don't want to let the negative feelings fall on to you because at that moment all men will seem like scum to her.
Another way is to ask a girl what her boyfriend is like. You got to do this in a casual conversation. She'll of course start telling you all about him. You'll probably get the juicy details about how nice he is and such but try to find out what she doesn't like about him or the things he does that drives her up the wall. Why are you so interested in her boyfriend? You're not, what you're doing is gathering information on things she likes and dislikes about a man. She is volunteering this without her even knowing it. You may be able to put some moves on her but slowly because she's still with another guy. Find ways to hint that you like her of sorts. Maybe get her number.
One thing is that some girls are just ga-ga over their boyfriends. Those guys can't do anything wrong even if it was done in front of her. These girls, you can forget about. She loves him and there will be no hope of them splitting up. He will be forgiven for all wrongs so cutting in is near impossible. Sometimes you got to bow out of the scene and take centre stage elsewhere.
Bar advice. Not to say that it's good to take another guys girlfriend but if you like someone, go get her. Advice here is remember this. Other guys may just do the same to your girlfriend against you with this same tactic.
Sexy confidence
If you're wondering how to improve your sex life or how to even get one, there's a simple answer that may surprise you. The desirability factor has very little to do with how you look on the outside, and a whole lot to do with how you feel on the inside. Believe it or not, confidence, the sort that comes from comfort in yourself and who you are as well as your sexuality; is the best tool for seduction.
Beyond the celebrities we all find sexy in countless grocery store magazines, to whom, in real life, do you find yourself drawn? Most likely, it's people who smile easily, who aren't afraid to meet your gaze, who move with effortless grace and feel comfortable in their own skin. It's the confident people, not necessarily those we find physically perfect, who draw us in. Feeling good about yourself signals potential partners that not only are easy to be around, but are probably great in bed.
A genuinely confident person however, who knows what they want in and out of the sack. On that note, sexually confident people tend to have a certain degree of integrity, sexually speaking. In other words, while a cocky individual, someone whose bravado screams look at me, look at me, but whose demeanor indicates their self esteem is faux; may be less than giving when getting some. The confident individual cares not just about their own pleasure but about their partner's as well. Sex, after all, is reciprocal. Oftentimes, the better your partner feels, the better you feel about yourself. Basically, confidence exudes warmth, energy and passion.
The first step to sexual confidence is getting to know your own body, your own desires and how to accommodate them. We all got fantasies. How we use them plays a major role in life itself. Remember that what you put out is what you're going to receive in return. So, being warm and friendly, kind and courteous, unafraid to give a compliment when deserved and grateful for all that you have just as you are now will draw those same things to you. Likewise, when you bask in your own sex appeal easily, without becoming obvious about it, you'll become a magnet for exactly the types of people you want to attract. Those who will make you feel even better about yourself while you do the same for them.
Bar advice. Go look at yourself in a mirror. If you like what you see and feel, great. If not, and you want better, get off your ass and do something about it. Just waiting for a miraculous change won't do it.
Beyond the celebrities we all find sexy in countless grocery store magazines, to whom, in real life, do you find yourself drawn? Most likely, it's people who smile easily, who aren't afraid to meet your gaze, who move with effortless grace and feel comfortable in their own skin. It's the confident people, not necessarily those we find physically perfect, who draw us in. Feeling good about yourself signals potential partners that not only are easy to be around, but are probably great in bed.
A genuinely confident person however, who knows what they want in and out of the sack. On that note, sexually confident people tend to have a certain degree of integrity, sexually speaking. In other words, while a cocky individual, someone whose bravado screams look at me, look at me, but whose demeanor indicates their self esteem is faux; may be less than giving when getting some. The confident individual cares not just about their own pleasure but about their partner's as well. Sex, after all, is reciprocal. Oftentimes, the better your partner feels, the better you feel about yourself. Basically, confidence exudes warmth, energy and passion.
The first step to sexual confidence is getting to know your own body, your own desires and how to accommodate them. We all got fantasies. How we use them plays a major role in life itself. Remember that what you put out is what you're going to receive in return. So, being warm and friendly, kind and courteous, unafraid to give a compliment when deserved and grateful for all that you have just as you are now will draw those same things to you. Likewise, when you bask in your own sex appeal easily, without becoming obvious about it, you'll become a magnet for exactly the types of people you want to attract. Those who will make you feel even better about yourself while you do the same for them.
Bar advice. Go look at yourself in a mirror. If you like what you see and feel, great. If not, and you want better, get off your ass and do something about it. Just waiting for a miraculous change won't do it.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
A cute Japanese girl
Last week I had this Japanese girl come into the bar. She heard the music and came up. Seems like she likes R&B songs. She spoke pretty good English so we got on well in conversation.
Initially she sat away from the bar area but moved there when I told her that the other side was non smoking. She told me that she was there for a brief holiday and staying with friends. I was kind of disappointed that she didn't have a hotel room but I didn't know where the conversation would lead anyway. Later in conversation she revealed that she was married but her husband was in Japan. Working. Alone. I started thinking to myself " Oh God she's here alone".
Nice thing was that she had a great sense of humour as well. Using the astrology thing I found out that she was a Snake/Leo. Great combination because people born in those signs are sexually hyper. They are low keyed but if you manage to be with one, you'll find she'll intoxicate you with her seductive prowess. When a Snake/Leo wants you she'll go all out to make the moves that will surprise you. Her gentle ways makes her an interesting find. She also like a little bit of party and enjoyment but won't over do it. She's responsible. Knows what she likes and wants. Most of all she always knows that she can get almost any man in the room. She makes heads turn when she walks by and she knows it.
I also read her palm(basic stuff I know) and it revealed to me that she had other love interest. She smiled and turned away from me but confirmed it was true. This all took place when we went to a bar after I closed mine. Later, and after more drinks, I put her in a taxi. Did get a kiss but tried to steal one on the lips but she knew I was doing the old cheek and shift to the lips bit so I ended up with the cheek kiss. She smelt nice too. She was going to a Indonesian island resort the next day and I knew I wouldn't see her again. Fortunately, she gave me her email address.
I just talked to her on MSN messenger. The one thing she did reveal to me was that there was actually a current affair. The guy I mentioned about when looking at her palm. She did say that it was more sexual fulfillment than love. Adultry or not I told her I understood. I even asked if she read my blog after I sent an email earlier. She did and found it interesting and myself knowledgeable. Probably because she may be able to relate to some of the topics. I even told her I was going to write about her in the blog. She had no problems with it.
This cute Japanese girl actually gets me interested because although she only met me once, actually went out with me. She's in a foreign country but had enough trust in me to know that I was a nice guy. She also emailed me a shot of her in her bikini by the swim up bar at the resort. She really did look like she was having fun but somehow she does look a little sad behind that sweet smile. I guess that's what happens when you have a husband and juggling a lover on the side. It's more common than most people think. Confusion becomes your friend. Why's that?
Well, the heart is split between the married partner and the single stud. Maybe it's truly a sexual feed but she probably wishes it was coming from her husband instead of another man. You can't make your husband change all of a sudden. Most men end the romance after the chase is over. I wonder at this moment if she and I had more time would I have been able to be with her that night. Possibly, but, it would have to be her choice. It seems to me that some part of her life is still not completely satisfied or realized yet. She's still searching. I hope she finds it for herself someday.
Bar advice. Sex is a common desire for all. Mostly men but there's also a lot of women(even married) that need the attention, tenderness, seduction of passionate romantic love making that a lot of guys don't understand.
Initially she sat away from the bar area but moved there when I told her that the other side was non smoking. She told me that she was there for a brief holiday and staying with friends. I was kind of disappointed that she didn't have a hotel room but I didn't know where the conversation would lead anyway. Later in conversation she revealed that she was married but her husband was in Japan. Working. Alone. I started thinking to myself " Oh God she's here alone".
Nice thing was that she had a great sense of humour as well. Using the astrology thing I found out that she was a Snake/Leo. Great combination because people born in those signs are sexually hyper. They are low keyed but if you manage to be with one, you'll find she'll intoxicate you with her seductive prowess. When a Snake/Leo wants you she'll go all out to make the moves that will surprise you. Her gentle ways makes her an interesting find. She also like a little bit of party and enjoyment but won't over do it. She's responsible. Knows what she likes and wants. Most of all she always knows that she can get almost any man in the room. She makes heads turn when she walks by and she knows it.
I also read her palm(basic stuff I know) and it revealed to me that she had other love interest. She smiled and turned away from me but confirmed it was true. This all took place when we went to a bar after I closed mine. Later, and after more drinks, I put her in a taxi. Did get a kiss but tried to steal one on the lips but she knew I was doing the old cheek and shift to the lips bit so I ended up with the cheek kiss. She smelt nice too. She was going to a Indonesian island resort the next day and I knew I wouldn't see her again. Fortunately, she gave me her email address.
I just talked to her on MSN messenger. The one thing she did reveal to me was that there was actually a current affair. The guy I mentioned about when looking at her palm. She did say that it was more sexual fulfillment than love. Adultry or not I told her I understood. I even asked if she read my blog after I sent an email earlier. She did and found it interesting and myself knowledgeable. Probably because she may be able to relate to some of the topics. I even told her I was going to write about her in the blog. She had no problems with it.
This cute Japanese girl actually gets me interested because although she only met me once, actually went out with me. She's in a foreign country but had enough trust in me to know that I was a nice guy. She also emailed me a shot of her in her bikini by the swim up bar at the resort. She really did look like she was having fun but somehow she does look a little sad behind that sweet smile. I guess that's what happens when you have a husband and juggling a lover on the side. It's more common than most people think. Confusion becomes your friend. Why's that?
Well, the heart is split between the married partner and the single stud. Maybe it's truly a sexual feed but she probably wishes it was coming from her husband instead of another man. You can't make your husband change all of a sudden. Most men end the romance after the chase is over. I wonder at this moment if she and I had more time would I have been able to be with her that night. Possibly, but, it would have to be her choice. It seems to me that some part of her life is still not completely satisfied or realized yet. She's still searching. I hope she finds it for herself someday.
Bar advice. Sex is a common desire for all. Mostly men but there's also a lot of women(even married) that need the attention, tenderness, seduction of passionate romantic love making that a lot of guys don't understand.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Making the relationship last.
Have you ever wondered why some intimate relationships work and others don’t? Why so many of us seem to have the same relationships with a series of different people? Some people can easily find a mate while others struggle. Why? Is there a way you can accelerate the process of uncovering and living your natural loving way and making the relationship last?
The explanation for most vexing relationship questions is actually quite simple. The majority of our relationships, as well as our patterns of relating in general, are based on need rather than love. This is probably no surprise to you. However, it may surprise you that there is something you can do about it. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places.
Most of us are on a quest for love that amounts to trying to fill a leaky cup. Every time we appear to get love from an external source, especially from another person, it merely reinforces the belief that love can be found outside us. So, the feeling of receiving love or approval inherently has "leakage". This includes the fear of losing love, resentment towards the people we feel we need to get it from, and the simple act of looking away from the love that we, by nature, already are. Sometimes it's years of frustration during our youth at home that builds into a swell and when we don't get the love from the external source later or we find that the external source does the same things as home, we are devastated. We ask, "where is love".
Good news. You can turn each of these dilemmas around simply by letting go of wanting love or approval. You can also hasten the process by looking for mutual ways to love, as opposed to getting it, and mutual ways to give love, in addition to receiving it.
If you’re in any kind of an intimate relationship with a life partner, friend, or family member, and you can reach the point where you simply love the other person as he or she is, as best you can, then both of you can relax and be authentic with each other. This promotes much healthier, more satisfactory interactions. A fine example was when Steadman told Oprah that the wig she wore that resembled Tina Turner did not suit her. He said that none of her workers would dare say a thing but he had to because she wasn't Tina. She realized it and even on TV told this story to make a point that love means having the ability to say anything and the other person knows that they will never hurt them. Only help.
If the relationship is to last both sides have to ensure they are honest and truthful to the other. You don't need the approval of your partner on every issue but you need their counsel and concern. So to should you do the same for them in return.
Bar advice.We make mistakes at times but isn't it better to know the other person won't be there to judge you.
The explanation for most vexing relationship questions is actually quite simple. The majority of our relationships, as well as our patterns of relating in general, are based on need rather than love. This is probably no surprise to you. However, it may surprise you that there is something you can do about it. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places.
Most of us are on a quest for love that amounts to trying to fill a leaky cup. Every time we appear to get love from an external source, especially from another person, it merely reinforces the belief that love can be found outside us. So, the feeling of receiving love or approval inherently has "leakage". This includes the fear of losing love, resentment towards the people we feel we need to get it from, and the simple act of looking away from the love that we, by nature, already are. Sometimes it's years of frustration during our youth at home that builds into a swell and when we don't get the love from the external source later or we find that the external source does the same things as home, we are devastated. We ask, "where is love".
Good news. You can turn each of these dilemmas around simply by letting go of wanting love or approval. You can also hasten the process by looking for mutual ways to love, as opposed to getting it, and mutual ways to give love, in addition to receiving it.
If you’re in any kind of an intimate relationship with a life partner, friend, or family member, and you can reach the point where you simply love the other person as he or she is, as best you can, then both of you can relax and be authentic with each other. This promotes much healthier, more satisfactory interactions. A fine example was when Steadman told Oprah that the wig she wore that resembled Tina Turner did not suit her. He said that none of her workers would dare say a thing but he had to because she wasn't Tina. She realized it and even on TV told this story to make a point that love means having the ability to say anything and the other person knows that they will never hurt them. Only help.
If the relationship is to last both sides have to ensure they are honest and truthful to the other. You don't need the approval of your partner on every issue but you need their counsel and concern. So to should you do the same for them in return.
Bar advice.We make mistakes at times but isn't it better to know the other person won't be there to judge you.
When things fall apart.
Much like Zen, Pema Chodron's interpretation of Tibetan Buddhism takes the form of a nontheistic spiritualism. In When Things Fall Apart this head of a Tibetan monastery in Canada outlines some relevant and deceptively profound terms of Tibetan Buddhism that are germane to modern issues. The key to all of these terms is accepting that in the final analysis, life is groundless. By letting go, we free ourselves to face fear and obstacles and offer ourselves unflinchingly to others. The graceful, conversational tone of Chodron's writing gives the impression of sitting on a pillow across from her, listening to her everyday examples of Buddhist wisdom.
When things fall apart in life we sometimes don't know what to do. This can be a natural disaster that destroyed our home. A marriage gone bad. Deceit. Illness. Many things can be the cause but how and what you do will determine you as a human being in this cosmic plane of greater things.
Bar advice. Sometimes we need to step back, shake off the bad vibe or karma and move to a healing place within our hearts. Whatever it was, my advice, this too will pass.
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