A girl walks into a bar

A girl walks into a bar and normally the heads of guys turn to see the sway of her walk. The hips, hair, shape, curves and whatever else they imagined for that short seconds it took her to get to a seat.

What were they thinking. Well in their lives they are or aren't in a relationship themselves. Those that approach her are trying their luck. Others just want to see if they still got what it takes even if their married. Some may want to have a "quicky" so they make the attempt as well. Let's just really look at at what a relationship really is. Lot's of people are possibly in one or more of these types of relationships.

Prostitution(pay for sex)
One night stands
Friends with privileges
Dating with casual sex
Lovers only(no commitments)
Arrangements (You take care of me, I'll take care of you)
Multiple Lovers
Swinging
Homosexual
Lesbian
Work/office sex
Affairs(cheating on someone)
Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Living together
Separated
Married
Divorce

Most people think that when they're with someone it's a relationship but the truth is we're all in a relationship with someone. Which category or categories are you in? When you're with someone a relationship is just how you "relate" with that person. Is it casual? Serious? Fooling around? Nothing that will break their heart or be dangerous? Abusive?

A lot of us relate to the word rather than to the true picture of who we relate to in a relationship. All those stated above can still have more added but it already gives you the sense that we may not realize the position we are in and sometimes it's too late. If all is well then you're doing something right but if it's not, what do you do? At times we sabotage what could be good for us.

Bar advice. Most people don't see the problem or cannot relate to people and situations that don't interfere in their lives. Sometimes it's becomes too late.

Becoming friends instead of lovers

What happens when you fall into the "friends zone"? Guys tend to feel that after all the effort, feelings, money, time and so on that they put in that when she starts reacting to him more as a pal than a partner, it's a devastating blow.

So how did the relationship get poisoned into becoming a friendship in the first place? One reason may be that she he had gone out with her too often that she see him so much. This habit makes the other feel attached to the person without worry that other stirred feeling are happening. She doesn't want to be hurt so she feels safer in a friendship based relationship.

Sure there are exceptions where people have gone out with each other so much and so long, years even, and have got married but that is a minority group. My own sister is one such person. We are talking about the majority of people that fall into the friendship category because they have gone out more than four dates.

Why four? Well studies show that if by four dates you would pretty much figure out if you like the girl or not. It's different for women a little. For guys four is the magic key number. If you head into the fifth or sixth date, it's a amber light state. This could mean that she still likes you, not sure or she's comfortable going out with you but as a friend. Maybe she finds that she likes that you like the things she does, goes, eats and so on. Comfortable is not good in this instance. Why?

People trying to get to the phase of becoming a couple should be a little awkward, shy, apprehensive. When going out together with friends they should be more apart and hope to hold hands and such. Maybe a kiss at the end of the night. You don't go meeting someone on a date with a T-shirt and torn jeans with flip flops. That's a clear sign that she's only interested in being friends because she believes that you will understand and that she need not dress up for the date. If you're in that "comfort" situation and another guy comes along, be prepared to loose her.

At the end of the day you got to know if it's going to work out or not. It's more of the amount of energy in the date than the amount of dates itself. Working towards becoming a couple should be exciting. Once you get there, the friendship part will become part of it. The relationship is then merged with love, friendship and togetherness.

Bar advice. If you want the 'gal', don't make her your 'pal'.