Dealing with bossy people

Among the many types of “difficult” people you will inevitably face in your life are the bossy ones. These are people who, for no other reason than they want to, tell you what you should be doing with your life, how you should be doing it and, everyone’s favorite, what you shouldn't’t have done already.

The thing about bossy people, though, is that they think they’re doing you a favor. Your mother, for instance, simply must tell you to wash your hands (even though you’re nearly 40 years old) because she can’t bear to let you walk around with germs on them. Your spouse, meanwhile, may try to boss you around in the kitchen because he or she is sure you’ll over cook the roast. The potential catastrophes are simply too great to not lend these pearls of wisdom.

To the recipient, of course, being bossed around can be downright maddening, particularly when it’s coming from someone who is probably better off minding their own business. However, you don’t have to let bossy people get the better of you.

How to Handle Bossy People

Nobody likes being bossed around or controlled, you may be tempted to confront the bossy person in an accusatory way, which will surely escalate the situation and leave you with nothing but more strife. So the next time you find yourself with a bossy, controlling person, use these tips to handle the situation with eloquence, class and a positive outcome for you.

1. Confront the person in an appreciative way.
You certainly should address a bossy person’s offensive behavior, but you must do so gently. Start out by showing your appreciation, then stating that you’re happy doing things your own way. (Try, “I appreciate that you’re trying to help me do the dishes more effectively, but I prefer to use the sponge, not the scourer.”)

2. Release your frustrations.
Being bossed around can bring up many negative feelings, including anger, frustration, anxiety and even a loss of self-esteem. The last thing you want to do is internalize these feelings and create an unnecessary source of stress in your life.

3. Stand your ground.
While realizing that most bossy people do have good intentions, you should make it clear to him or her that you have no intention of changing your behaviors. It may be that the person continues to try and control you, but it’s also possible that, upon seeing your confidence, he or she will eventually back down and leave you be. Again, this should be done in a kind, not accusatory, way. (Such as, “Mom, I do so many things around the house the way you do, but when it comes to making salad, I like to cut the tomatoes in quarters, not slices.”)

4. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
Sometimes bossy people may not realize how offensive their remarks can be until they experience it themselves. Next time someone tries bossing you around, experiment with being bossy in return. It may just help to curb the behavior altogether. For instance, if a bossy friend tells you how to get your hair cut, tell them your opinion about how they should be cutting theirs. Just be careful not to go overboard with this and become a bossy person yourself!

We know that the person doing this may not intentionally want to hurt us when it's done and we got to realize that. Even people at work may just want to get things done in a certain way but don't realize that other individuals do things their own way.Sometimes we need to have a confrontation with the bossy person to sort things out before it blows up into a disaster.

Bar advice. Even if the person is your actual boss at work you should be able to stand your ground. Sort things out and get him or her on the same page as you. It's better to deal with it early or you'll be taken advantage of constantly. Same with the people at home.

Dating your boss or co-worker

That’s a million dollar question! Dating your coworker or boss, someone you see at least five days a week, eight hours or more a day, why not? Well, that depends if dating your coworker will create problems in the workplace for you. Probably not a good idea to date your boss, this could cause problems for you down the line.

Imagine, you’re in the company cafeteria talking to your coworker that you date. Sally and John just walked into the cafeteria and they immediately start staring and whispering to themselves about the both of you. You know they’re talking about you because they look in your direction continuously while they whisper.

You and the coworker you date, feel very uncomfortable with Sally and John’’s reaction to you having lunch together. You think to yourselves that it may have been a mistake for you to have lunch together in the cafeteria where you work.

You’re now going to be the topic of your other coworkers conversation you believe, thanks to Sally and John who are known in the workplace as the king and queen of gossiping at your job. Both of you now wonder if the two of you should be dating and what were you thinking when you decided to have lunch together in the company’s cafeteria.

What type of problems could dating your coworker or maybe your boss cause? Well, what if you get into an argument at home or while you are on a date, when you go back to work you have to see that person almost everyday! If that person is your boss, then you could possibly loose that promotion you worked so hard for or maybe you have to walk on eggshells while you’re at work! This could make you feel very uncomfortable.

Or, if you’re getting along well with the coworker or boss you’re dating, your coworkers may think when they see you together that you may be getting special treatment. Especially if the boss you are dating favors you and gives you a promotion. This could cause a problem for the both of you.

If you just have to date your coworker or boss, consider keeping your personal relationship outside of the workplace! When you participate in this type of relationship, keep it professional in the office and personal outside of workplace. This is key in keeping the work place rumor mill to a minimum on having information about you and your coworker dating.

Bar advice.Only you will know if dating your coworker or boss will be a good idea for you. If you don’t believe this will cause a problem, then go for it! There are many people that have found their soul mates in the workplace. So do what makes you happy, after all you are in control of your own destiny and love life.