The salesman's belief

Have you ever bought something nice? I bet the salesman was quite sure of himself that the item he wanted to sell you was the right one at the right price. Even more, he wanted you to know you were getting a great deal. Was it true? Maybe. Maybe not.

What you do know to be true is how much he wanted you to believe that he believed you were getting a great item at a great price. I don't know if you ended up buying it or not but would you have been as interested if the salesman himself was not? There are plenty of salesmen who can certainly lie and pretend, and may very well make good sales. However, the best salesmen truly believe what they're telling you. The salesman's belief in it is what makes it all the sweeter, as far as he's concerned, he can't get the sale unless you believe that he believes what he's saying. What better way to help that along than for him to actually believe his own words? Anyone can look at the specifications, observe the conditions, and make a logical judgment on whether the price on the sticker matches the value of the product. So what's the use of salesmen?

The reason is, most people can't make such big decisions to do big things unless someone talks them into it. The same is true in dating. In a sense, you are the product and you are the salesman for yourself. I am not saying to hang a price tag around your neck and start soliciting your body on a street corner, but effectively you are selling yourself, your personality, your positive traits, your values. You are selling this to the opposite sex so they will "buy" what you got. So think about this for a minute. If you didn't believe in your own product, how do you expect to get any sales?

You truly need to value yourself and see yourself as a great deal. You need to convince yourself until you can't believe anything other than 'you are a great deal'. When you can do that, you will be a lot closer to what you want than ever before. What is there to be afraid off? What is holding you back? If you don't see yourself as a "prize catch" or "best deal ever", how will others see it either? I am convinced you can do this.

Bar advice. The saleman's belief must be self thought. Now reflect on what you've been lacking and change the sales pitch of your life.

What is love?

Since it's the Valentines period I thought I'd also throw in some humour for all those who are alone and still single. It doesn't feel all that good being in that position but maybe this You Tube video, featuring Jim Carey, can put a smile on your face.

Bar advice. Look on the lighter side of things from time to time. It's not all that sad, really.

Happy Valentines day to you

You know, it's one day in the year that really gets people to think about love. It even beats out Christmas, Easter, birthdays and so on. Why is that? I guess it fills people with thoughts of happiness when they're with someone in their lives. For those that are single, it repesents hope and wishful thinking.

People get to send Valentines cards, flowers, candy and chocolate to almost everyone. It could be your mother,sister, a friend or colleague. A lot of single people tend to go to the bars and clubs to seek out other lonely souls out there like themselves. It's really the best day to spot other singles and to hook up with one another. Perhaps it's a day when people just feel like being with someone and not alone.

Lots of places will have reservations for dinner fully booked. Wine and champange will flow. Hugs, kisses, joy and laughter will be felt by lot of you. Hotel won't have any vacancies. Romance is in the air. Those alone should not feel too bad. Find a little happiness in your heart to know that there are others out there in the world that don't even know this day is Valentines. The suffering people in places that are ruled by dictators, famine hit, terroirst controlled, war torn or been hit by a natural disaster. Have a sparing thought for them and see that your need at this moment may not seem so bad after all.


Bar advice. Hope you all have a beautiful time this Valentines day. Party, enjoy and maybe even some of you will get a marriage proposal.

Breaking the silence

When you're on a date with a lady and the entire date is plagued with silence and "empty spaces" then I'm sure you know deep inside that chances of the girl being interested is close to zero. It sucks especially if that is the first date because if the first date is just chat, stop, chat, stop, then often times a woman will not want such boredom to repeat another time(otherwise known as "No second date").

How do we prevent such an outcome? One of the many "hidden weapons" you can use to stomp silence on dates is to bring up a scenario and talk about it. What is this? I'll get to it right now. The key here is to bring up an incident in life(a scenario), relate it to the woman and get her thoughts on it. One of the best scenarios comes from, "Other People's Relationships". It may be a dramatic relationship issue involving a third party. Your friends, cousins, colleagues, or some stranger you hardly knew. Here's how to apply it.

While talking to the woman, when you "detect" an empty space coming, or a silent pause had just begun, just lead smoothly into a scenario, and break out of the silence by relating an "Other People's Relationships" Scenario to her. Here's two scenarios to give you some ideas.

1)"This female classmate I knew from old school days wanted to audition for a talent quest and her boyfriend threatened to break up with her because he never liked showbiz. So let's say it happened to you. What will you do if you are her?"

2)"It's this old army friend I knew. He liked Beyonce a lot and he planned to go to the concert. At first, he wanted his girlfriend to go with him but her schedule didn't allow it. So in the end, he asked a lady friend to go and guess what? His girlfriend knew about it, kicked up a fuss and demanded he go to the concert by himself not with that lady. So now he's already bought the tickets and is stuck with an angry girlfriend. What do you think he should do?"

Once again, rid silent moments by placing a scenario into the interaction, then get her view on it. Conversations will re-generate from there. In all, the above is just one tactic to keep the conversation going. There's a lot more "conversation maintenance" secrets to ensure every interactions you have with women will flow instead of being a struggle. One other scenario secret you can use, and this one is easier since she can relate to it easier, is to talk about the latest on screen romances. It can be from the movies or television. Example would be asking her what she thought of the romance situations and relationships going on with some of the characters in Grey's Anathomy, Desperate Housewives or Ugly Betty for that matter. The trick here is to discuss what those characters and situations in normal peoples lives have in common or how they apply to what real life is or isn't in some cases.

This will get her excited because she gets to talk about some of her favourite people and what she likes that's going on in those shows. Normally it's a throw back to what she's seeking in a relationship or to the sort of guy she's into. This has not only broken the silence problem but has also given you the ammunition to dig a little deeper into her likes and dislike of men, relationships and whatever else that can benefit you. Two birds with one stone basically. Now you got more than cancelling the silence issue. She'll be opening her mouth almost non stop after you raise this scenario. Just one little tiny important thing to remember. Please be sure that you're either up to date or fairly know well, what's going on in these shows or the people. You'll need to be able to keep the conversation going about the characters in the shows, especially with questions being asked by her, and if you can't then guess what? Silence.

Bar advice. Breaking the silence is sometimes hard when trying to talk with someone you just met. Keep in mind a list of topics that you think will keep conversation. This will help.

How to make a woman happy?

There many things that we can do to make a woman happy. It's complicated yet ever so easy. Here's a little couple of notes to remember. Take your time and read through it slowly and carfully. Help your relationship a little with some understanding.




Bar Advice. For the guys it's not that easy but, yes, it's pretty much that simple. For the chicks, see why guys just don't get it.

Kissing a woman

IT is an experience that most people would remember. Their first French kiss. Some people would say it was a great experience while some would prefer not to mention it. A lot of us, it happened too fast, we forgot what happened even because we were too excited in the moment. Of course some of us were too young or didn't realize we were even doing it right. One thing we all know is that French kissing is a very delicate and sensual experience.

Research shows women's lips are one of their erogenous zone, so it's important for men to leave a lasting impression with women. If you French kiss her like no one else, you'll most likely to kiss something else of her next. know what I mean? The skill of kissing does not simply consist of knowing how to move your tongue inside a woman's mouth without hitting her tonsils. It involves the entire mouth. The lips, tongue, cheeks and the rest of the body.

Give the lady a hand. Position your hands on her body while kissing her. Hold her face, chhek area, firmly but gently as you slip your tongue inside her mouth and suck on her lips. This will definitely make her toes curl. Also, try to gently pull her hair back from the back or slightly squeezing the part of her body that is located right under her ribs. This could make for some very enticing kissing sessions.

Pay attention to the way she kisses. People often give out what they would like to receive, so pay attention to the way she kisses you. That could be an indication of the way she wants you to kiss her. Does she bite on your lips? Reciprocate. She will love you for it. Tell her what you like. Does your loved one kiss you like she's trying to suck the life out of your body? Does she kiss too fast, too slow, or without using her tongue? Some women like it slow and gentle while others like it a bit more rough and demanding. Try not to tell her what you don't like, but rather what you do like. That way you won't hurt her feelings.

Control her mouth. The next time you kiss her, hold her face with your hands tenderly and kiss her the way you would like to be kissed. If this doesn’t turn her on, then your sensual tongue will surely do the trick. Make it long lasting. Women love long, slow, juicy, and enticing kisses. Your partner will definitely feel your passion through one of those prolonged tender kissing moments. Just like in the movies, kiss her hard and deep.

One last method, that I like myself. If you can come from behind her, start kissing her from the shoulders upward. Remember that you are standing at the back of her at all times. This method can only be applied if she wearing something that's showing her shoulders. Now slowly kiss upward to the neck area. Get her to feel the intensity of what's to come. If you're already in a deeper relationship, you can hold her in an embrace that lets her feel your body toucing hers. Now, slowly start to kiss her and move to the front of her at the same time. Don't break the kissing but let it flow naturally. She'll start to react and if she's keen she'll start to take over or just react more so. Both may start to actually feel horny at this point but than again that's the whole point, isn't it?

Bar advice. Kissing a woman is suppose to be fun. Don't complicate it with a lot of applied technique. Relax, and the magic will happen.

Happy Chinese New Year 2008

2008 is the year of the Rat. According to the Chinese calender it is the return of the zodiac cycle. This is a "1 year" phase. It goes around every 12 years. This is also the year of the earth rat which comes about once every 60 years. It is said, not to be a good year for most people and it includes world economic difficulties, health issues, stock market turmoil and lots more. Lets see how it fares for you.

Rat
A like minded year when restless Rats refuse to settle into a routine. Your Yang essence takes the lead in romance during 2008. Cozy up to a home loving Ox, an outspoken Dragon or a fun-loving Monkey. This Rat year exacerbates your high strung disposition, and while this shouldn't affect your job productivity, it will definitely fray your nerves. Promotions are possible and money becomes more plentiful. Make certain that all business is kept on the up and up. Always plan for the future, as this will allow you to better enjoy the moment.

Ox
Due to the soulmate connection, Rat years are particularly good ones for Oxen. Your Yin essence balances well with the Yang Rat year energies. A family and security conscious year for you. Good financial luck, but be cautious not to spend too much. Many social events and opportunities for romance this year! Settle down with a clever Rat, a seductive Snake or brassy Rooster. Plant a garden, knit a new sweater or carve a custom set of furniture.

Tiger
Rat years are busy ones for Tiger natives and can be particularly exhausting, draining and depleting. 2008 is the “Steed” or action catalyst for you and extra caution is called for in any type of travel, change, or reevaluation this year. Expect delays, slow down and think all actions through carefully. Attending happy or joyful events such as weddings, births, reunions and celebrations. Although there may be difficulties, these will all be happily resolved by October. Be careful of romantic temptations which could affect your emotional and physical health.

Rabbit
The Rat and the Rabbit are in a “Peach blossom” or “Plum” relationship, responsible for romantic, even torrid love affairs. Rat years are filled with both passion and even danger for the Rabbit. Be cautious of commingling funds with or borrowing money from third parties. The Rat year may demand a commitment, which the detached and cautious Rabbit will resist. However, with 2008's energies, even reticent Rabbits could feel the urge to settle down. Don't be surprised if you become more of a committed finance rather than an artful dodger in 2008.

Dragon
A taste for novelty reins supreme for Dragons in 2008, and unpredictability rules the year. Dragon's feel like a new adventure is always just around the corner in Rat years and it promises to be one of activity and excitement. Financially, assets increase, but interpersonal tiffs may be troublesome. Candid, demanding and fond of being in the public eye, Dragons shine during Rat ruled periods. Best chance for serious romance in September's Rooster ruled month. Prepare the stage for an energetic evening with a feisty Rooster, a sarcastic Monkey or an eclectic Rat.

Snake
A four star year for Snakes when money and wealth flows in freely. When it comes to lovemaking the Snake is a master and virtuoso, and sex is something they are capable of surrendering themselves to, body and soul. Be cautious however, as this Rat year may increase your taste for forbidden fruit. Single Snakes may consider marriage or commitment during April or May. Now is the time to expand your social circle, networks and contacts which will lead to great financial benefits. Recognition by colleagues and an opportunity for carer advancement should make this a particularly enjoyable year.

Horse
Those born into Horse years are in opposition to the Rat and 2008 is a time for you to relax, vacation and take time for your physical, spiritual and mental health. A choice could be presented this year between your need for security and your need for independence. Never stop pursuing your dreams and ambitions, but keep everything status quo for now and wait for a more auspicious climate. Hold off on risky investments and be particularly cautious about anything that could cause problems with the law. Married Horses could be tempted by a love affair in July's Goat-ruled month.

Goat
The Rat year and the Goat can be a comedy of errors, but nothing that can't be mitigated with good humor. By the time the leisurely Goat wakes up to face the world, the energetic Rat has almost completed their day. Hyperactivity meets sloth in 2008 and the results can be inharmonious to say the least. Goats feel harried, hurried and hotheaded during Rat years, but careful planning will give you the edge. Journaling, writing poetry or putting pen to paper in any way will sooth your frazzled nerves and could produce some memorable work.

Monkeys
Monkeys will enjoy being in the compatibility trine (triangle) of harmony with this Rat year. April or May could see wedding bells ringing for you. Sexuality is explosive between Rat's and Monkey's and some exhausting nights of love await you in 2008. Intertwine your lovemaking with intellectual conversation from a sage Snake or discuss the cosmos with an otherworldly Dragon. You are in a very comfortable and prosperous position in 2008, but be discreet about your private life and selective in your social circles.

Rooster
The Rat and the Rooster are in a “Peach blossom” relationship, responsible for torrid love affairs, and 2008 can produce an emotional roller coaster ride for Rooster natives. This is a love/hate year of polarized emotions when your beloved will seem either enchanting or unbearable. This is a complicated pairing of energies and this Peach blossoms connection can easily become “forbidden fruit” so the utmost caution regarding romantic affairs is advised. Female Hens are very fertile year and pregnancy as well as marriage are strong possibilities. Build a cozy nest with a home loving Ox, sensual Snake or competent Dragon.

Dog
The relationship between the Rat and Dog resembles that of a parent/child power struggle with possible confrontations or misunderstandings. Don't borrow or use funds that are not yours for any reason this year and keep all business deals completely above board. Take time off to relax and recharge your batteries and love will be in the air. A romantic getaway with a savvy Rabbit, passionate Tiger or talkative Horse will have you howling at the moon! Be realistic in your planning and avoid wishful thinking for best results.

Pig
A harmonious and successful year awaits trusting Pig natives in 2008. There is a risk of you becoming opinionated and judgmental this year so consider that every situation has two sides to it. Your modesty will give you the edge in working with people this year. You are hardworking, but also fond of pleasure. Many opportunities for love affairs during 2008, so be cautious of scandals. Both the Rat and the Pig share the hidden element of Water in their branches bringing emotion, depth and adaptability to circumstances.

Bar advice. This is just one of many who have predictions about the year and your zodiac Chinese animal sign. In the end our fates are in our own hands.

The zero game

Well, in the rough, tough game of game of women, one thing can be true. The zero game but one big zero that is going to make it really hard for you to score is if you are in any way ashamed of sex or your sexuality. That is because women have been taught on a lot of levels to be ashamed of sex also. They are not rewarded for acting sexually in public for example. Think of what happens when they even dress too revealing. They get labeled as sluts and get scorned by older women, peers and even a lot of men.

In some extreme cases, women are taught by their parents that their genitals are some how "dirty", etc. In other words a taboo subject or something not to be seen or talked about. There are many other examples you can probably think of. It is rare that you meet a truly liberated woman who is totally free of any kind of residual shame about sex, or at least negative consequences of acting like she is not ashamed of it. What this means is that often you as a man will have to be the balancing force in the equation, the one that is very comfortable with the idea of how awesome and natural sex is. You have to be the one who will "take the blame" for taking about it, starting it,etc. The more repressed she might be, the more positive you have to balance the equation. The problem though is that somehow modern culture is telling a lot of guys to turn off their sexuality in order to act like a "nice guy".

Many guys who was under this mistaken assumption that if they acted like they didn't want sex outside of marriage or a really committed relationship then they would make themself look nice enough for her to want to date. Even though sex is what you want in the end, you're ashamed to admit it to her for fear she would think that was all you wanted or that you're a pervert. The truth is, if you act ashamed of sex in any way, then it will be extremely hard for things to get sexual with you and the average woman. For the rare females who really do want sex, they will get bored and find a guy who does want it. The ones who are ashamed will just go along with your frame or have it much later than you both might really want.

What instead needs to happen is that you have to in effect "take responsibility" for any of the shame of sex. It means that your actions and the things you say have to communicate to her things like this. "It is not your fault if you and I end up making love". "You are not a slut for having slept with me". "Other people don't have to know about this, nobody else will think any less of you". "I know that you don't do this with other guys and what we are doing is new for you". "I really enjoy being with you sexually, I hope you do too".

Talking to her, you would not say these things exactly, but the deeper message would be the same. You basically have to relieve her of any guilt she might feel and let her know there will be nothing bad that comes from it. Lets look at a verbal example, while you are making out with her, she might tell you "we shouldn't be doing this". In that case, you can assure her that you know she's "a good girl" and the blame is shifted off her shoulders. What about an example that shows you like sex through your actions? Here's an example. Let's say you are flipping through the pages of a magazine and sexy images appear of men and women, possibly nude, and she's around and saw it too. If you keep going and act like it was never there, you are acting ashamed of sex. You get a ZERO!

The point here really is to focus on the fact that sex is natural. The human body can be seen in this manner as well. Women are not going to jump into bed with you just becuase it is but if they see that you see it as such and they begin to feel comfortable that way then things will change. They will find it not so taboo a subject, there's nothing "dirty" about it or their bodies, they're not going to listen to mummy's old folks advice and sex is nothing to be ashmed of. No more zeros after that lesson!

Bar advice. If you add up all the points here and you come up with zero. The games over for you. Than again you could just restart from zero, upwards.