Well if you noticed I haven't been on the blog for about a week. Well it just so happened that I have closed the bar. Now don't go thinking that it has to do with not making a profit. The fact is the landlord has sold the building. The new guy wants to increase the rent. Also the bar is partially exposed to the elements and with world climate change, it can be tricky to have customers come.
This really can be seen as closing one door and another opening up. Life works in a very funny way. I just got an offer from the guy who built my previous bar to come work for him in the interior design and building company that he has. It is a great opportunity. Doing both residential and commercial projects. Also, I was asked to see another site for a bar as well. This place would be more than twice the one I just closed. Still thinking about that actually.
Anyway, what I go to say here is that the blog is not going to end just like that. I can still continue but the stories will have to come from past events or ones that happen when I go to other bars for a drink. It will be silly not to keep the blog going.
Almost forgot. I met this girl at the bar just a week before but she's with someone else. What's a guy to do? Anyway, I told her I was going to blog about her and that's what I'll do in the next blog writings.
Right now I got to take a break. Recharge the batteries, so to speak, and open that next door. Some how I feel lighter on the 'load of worries' at this moment. Not sure why but I feel positive things are going to happen soon.
Bar advice. When closing one door just make sure you tie up all loose ends. Don't give people the chance to say things about you or your your character.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Karma Sutra. Seductive sex positions VCD
Don't get me wrong but I'm not trying to promote X-rated films or pornography. This is for people that truly need help in the sack. Sex is so common but not all of us know exactly what to do. Do we? If you tell yourself that you don't need any help in this department then you must be the author of all sexual info.
These VCD's may help some but not all. There's a lot of stuff that is quite common to most but I'm sure it can benefit those that need a little boost to their love making skills. My advice here is to use what you like and try some out.
Bar advice. Don't just think that the men need this more than the women. It is the lack of pleasure from a lover that drives people to the arms of others.
These VCD's may help some but not all. There's a lot of stuff that is quite common to most but I'm sure it can benefit those that need a little boost to their love making skills. My advice here is to use what you like and try some out.
Bar advice. Don't just think that the men need this more than the women. It is the lack of pleasure from a lover that drives people to the arms of others.
Sexual aura
There's this really strange, mystical and invisible aura that surrounds those that are projecting their sexual side. People, both men and women, all have it but there are those that just have it a little more than others.
A lot of these unique individuals don't even realize that they are doing anything out of the ordinary. Have you ever sensed everyone looking at you when you enter a room? Most women have some sort of natural radar so to speak, that tells them a guy is paying 'extra' attention to her. There are times also where she will feel uncomfortable when someone she doesn't fancy is eyeing her. The one that that really gets to me sometimes is when her modesty button kicks in and she tries not to make eye contact with a guy but she make like him. What's that all about? If you like someone you should indicate so. Playing hard to get can end up making you and old maid.
Guys on the other hand are totally different. Since prehistoric days women seem to be more attentive to the 'brute'. If the guy is macho and personifies a tough, strong image then he's probably going to be with a lot of girls. The women that want this sort of guys will only wish that he's got a sensitive side as well. How are they suppose to take him to see mummy if he's doesn't?
Some women like the guy a little timid because they don't like domineering guys. Some prefer chubby fellows because they feel that he won't be too attractive to other women. Guys also like women less pretty so that their chances are higher in getting her. Lot of guys also feel that someone less attractive will not have too much wants and needs. Both women and men who have trouble getting a partner are more prone to living a single life than marrying someone they are not sure about.
The thing about the sexual aura is that the individual must desire for another person to enter their life. You don't go putting on your nice clothes, combing your hair, wearing nice shoes and go out only to come home to your parents house and family dog, right? When you're putting yourself out there for the whole world to see, you got to 'want' someone to take notice. Flirt a little if necessary. Make eye contact. Flaunt what you got. Make someone take notice to the point that the other person really wants to know you better. You need to focus on your 'intention' of getting someone in your life and only than can it happen.
There are lot of individuals out there that know this little 'secret' already. They just have it and they use this sexual aura to their favour. It's easy for them to be able to get anyone they want. Some women can make men turn their heads even if the guy is walking on the street with another woman. Guys can bring out a smile from a girl on the other side of the room and flirt with her twenty feet away with her not taking her eyes off him. The power of this sexual aura can also be sensed by the same gender at that present moment. By this I mean that another woman or man can sense that energy off the person that is personifying it.
Let me advice you further. These individuals are normally envied by others because other people want that type of charisma but don't seem to posses it. They look at movie stars and singers and long for that sort of life. They slog and work their jobs and feel depressed that they have no one to come home to. Their self esteem becomes low as well.
All this can change with just one simple magic rule. Those that possess this work it very well and lots of times they don't try hard anymore because they know it works for them. Even than it works when their no even trying. What is it? I said before, the individual must focus with the 'intention' of what they want. They can than get anyone they put their mind to. What you put out will return with a flood of those who have the same 'intentions' as well. You may be surprised that you'll have too many to handle after that. Just imagine than try it.
Bar advice. Loosen up. What have you got to loose? Doesn't matter what age you are. It works for all.
A lot of these unique individuals don't even realize that they are doing anything out of the ordinary. Have you ever sensed everyone looking at you when you enter a room? Most women have some sort of natural radar so to speak, that tells them a guy is paying 'extra' attention to her. There are times also where she will feel uncomfortable when someone she doesn't fancy is eyeing her. The one that that really gets to me sometimes is when her modesty button kicks in and she tries not to make eye contact with a guy but she make like him. What's that all about? If you like someone you should indicate so. Playing hard to get can end up making you and old maid.
Guys on the other hand are totally different. Since prehistoric days women seem to be more attentive to the 'brute'. If the guy is macho and personifies a tough, strong image then he's probably going to be with a lot of girls. The women that want this sort of guys will only wish that he's got a sensitive side as well. How are they suppose to take him to see mummy if he's doesn't?
Some women like the guy a little timid because they don't like domineering guys. Some prefer chubby fellows because they feel that he won't be too attractive to other women. Guys also like women less pretty so that their chances are higher in getting her. Lot of guys also feel that someone less attractive will not have too much wants and needs. Both women and men who have trouble getting a partner are more prone to living a single life than marrying someone they are not sure about.
The thing about the sexual aura is that the individual must desire for another person to enter their life. You don't go putting on your nice clothes, combing your hair, wearing nice shoes and go out only to come home to your parents house and family dog, right? When you're putting yourself out there for the whole world to see, you got to 'want' someone to take notice. Flirt a little if necessary. Make eye contact. Flaunt what you got. Make someone take notice to the point that the other person really wants to know you better. You need to focus on your 'intention' of getting someone in your life and only than can it happen.
There are lot of individuals out there that know this little 'secret' already. They just have it and they use this sexual aura to their favour. It's easy for them to be able to get anyone they want. Some women can make men turn their heads even if the guy is walking on the street with another woman. Guys can bring out a smile from a girl on the other side of the room and flirt with her twenty feet away with her not taking her eyes off him. The power of this sexual aura can also be sensed by the same gender at that present moment. By this I mean that another woman or man can sense that energy off the person that is personifying it.
Let me advice you further. These individuals are normally envied by others because other people want that type of charisma but don't seem to posses it. They look at movie stars and singers and long for that sort of life. They slog and work their jobs and feel depressed that they have no one to come home to. Their self esteem becomes low as well.
All this can change with just one simple magic rule. Those that possess this work it very well and lots of times they don't try hard anymore because they know it works for them. Even than it works when their no even trying. What is it? I said before, the individual must focus with the 'intention' of what they want. They can than get anyone they put their mind to. What you put out will return with a flood of those who have the same 'intentions' as well. You may be surprised that you'll have too many to handle after that. Just imagine than try it.
Bar advice. Loosen up. What have you got to loose? Doesn't matter what age you are. It works for all.
To-do-list
Lots of us have so many things going on in our lives. It could be the office, home, planing a party or maybe a holiday itinerary. We may be forced to remember things that we know were bound to forget. So, what do you do? Well, you make a to-do-list.
Here Sasha Cagen has compiled a book of list that people have sent her. Some are things that we might write down ourselves but some are just so hilarious.
This is one that you need to get. It will make you laugh and think about the people that wrote it. To-Do List is both a celebration of lists and a peek at the lists that others create. Broken down by subjects like "Daily Lists" to "Sex Lists," it's a fascinating collection of lists from everyday people to the well-known.This also comes from her popular blog.
Bar advice. The only advice I can give you is get the book. What list have you done before?
Here Sasha Cagen has compiled a book of list that people have sent her. Some are things that we might write down ourselves but some are just so hilarious.
This is one that you need to get. It will make you laugh and think about the people that wrote it. To-Do List is both a celebration of lists and a peek at the lists that others create. Broken down by subjects like "Daily Lists" to "Sex Lists," it's a fascinating collection of lists from everyday people to the well-known.This also comes from her popular blog.
Bar advice. The only advice I can give you is get the book. What list have you done before?
Friday, November 9, 2007
Moving on
I guess it's the same all over the world when it comes to people breaking up or divorce. They can't seem to be able to move on. Women especially have a really hard time.
There are days of tears and pain that the heart feels and a sense of loss. Lots of times the person that feels the worse may actually be the one that made the situation difficult. They may not even be aware that there was a problem till it was too late. Many guys make a fatal mistake by taking their partners for granted. they believe that even if they did something wrong they would be forgiven and all will be fine. Guys have been too pampered by their mothers to know what a wife or girlfriend really is.
Loosing sight that your partner as an individual will damage the relationship. Being upfront, honest and open minded that your partner is faithful to you and the relationship will stir both people in the right way. Letting him or her live their life while still being together is better than to smutter them with affection while restraining them all together. This makes the other person turn to deceptive methods of doing the things that they want to do and if found out will be explosive to the relationship.
Moving on after the relationship is over can be hard. Most people, especially women, find it difficult to trust another man again. It all depends on what they went through before and the cause of the split. Guys fear that the next girl will turn out to be the same, if not worse, than the first one. The sense of trust really will have been faded and there's no security blanket for a broken heart. Some go on for years alone after a break up and later find that it may be too late by the time their ready to hit the dating scene again.
The right choice for people would have to be a open dialogue between themselves so that all mistrust and misunderstandings are ironed out. The relationship should have certain goals and both will need to fulfill them. Expectations will need to be met as well. Communication must be constant and intentions need to be truthful. Following this will makes things better if you're moving on to a new person so you don't fall flat on your face again and your heart won't hurt as well.
Bar advice. Ask yourself, better still ask your partner, why you're in the relationship. The answers may surprise you.
There are days of tears and pain that the heart feels and a sense of loss. Lots of times the person that feels the worse may actually be the one that made the situation difficult. They may not even be aware that there was a problem till it was too late. Many guys make a fatal mistake by taking their partners for granted. they believe that even if they did something wrong they would be forgiven and all will be fine. Guys have been too pampered by their mothers to know what a wife or girlfriend really is.
Loosing sight that your partner as an individual will damage the relationship. Being upfront, honest and open minded that your partner is faithful to you and the relationship will stir both people in the right way. Letting him or her live their life while still being together is better than to smutter them with affection while restraining them all together. This makes the other person turn to deceptive methods of doing the things that they want to do and if found out will be explosive to the relationship.
Moving on after the relationship is over can be hard. Most people, especially women, find it difficult to trust another man again. It all depends on what they went through before and the cause of the split. Guys fear that the next girl will turn out to be the same, if not worse, than the first one. The sense of trust really will have been faded and there's no security blanket for a broken heart. Some go on for years alone after a break up and later find that it may be too late by the time their ready to hit the dating scene again.
The right choice for people would have to be a open dialogue between themselves so that all mistrust and misunderstandings are ironed out. The relationship should have certain goals and both will need to fulfill them. Expectations will need to be met as well. Communication must be constant and intentions need to be truthful. Following this will makes things better if you're moving on to a new person so you don't fall flat on your face again and your heart won't hurt as well.
Bar advice. Ask yourself, better still ask your partner, why you're in the relationship. The answers may surprise you.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Making a first date a good one
This is more for the guys really but it also applies to ladies on certain points. When you're out on that first date, it's a mindset at the very first appearance in front of the other, you'll either sink or swim.
The way you approach, greet, talk and lead is going to make a girl feel comfortable with you. Women sometimes need to give the guy a little break because most guys are nervous when it comes to dating. Being on a first date makes everyone a little dumb and clumsy. Can you imagine the guy trying to pull your chair out at the table to sit and letting you slip on the floor instead of sliding it back in for you? Disaster big time.
Another thing will be having the meal. It's no big deal to order something you're familiar with than ordering something on the menu that sounds nice but taste like crap later and makes you go to the toilet every ten minutes. For a guy it may not be bad but for a girl going in the loo with her high heals and dress, disaster again.
What to say on the first date? You know what most guys do, they ask the same thing that the woman heard before. Once again calamity in the works. How? By making it boring. Flooding it with common and mundane topics. Such "yawn topics" include "Do you like your job?" "What does you parents do?" "What hobbies do you have?" She'll answer but her mind goes mostly "Zzzzzzzz..." By now she must be thinking this is not just your first date but your only date you ever had.
No one likes to answer predictable questions from dates gone by. A guy needs to stand out from the rest of the wolf pack. Something a guy can do is take time to read some women magazines. Be it your sister's or from the doctors office. Check out what's the latest gossip. You could also go online to check celebrity news or Hollywood drama. These things sometimes helps especially when it involves her favorite stars. The conversation becomes lively and heated, not in anger, but with lustful imagination and sexy, playful thoughts. Ask her who she likes best and if you got some stuff on him, use it to stimulate her inner feelings. It will surface and you benefit from her hormones. The quiet evening will become a rock concert.
Possibly, if you know her interest before hand, gather info on her interest then research it so you have something to chat about. You also got to let her do some talking and you some listening.
You got to end the evening with something to make her want to go out with you for another date. What to say? Tell her you want to cook her dinner and watch movies with the same celebrity you were just talking about for your next date. You could also tell her you want to go dancing on the next date and tell her she can't say No because you won't be able to take her strolling by the beach on the third one. These planed and thoughtful things will get her off guard and pleasantly surprised by a different sort of guy that she's never been with before. You'll be amazed to find that she's the one calling you to say goodnight on the phone; an indicator that she's thinking of you.
Women sometimes like a guy but just won't say it so the guy tends to feel pressured to end the date quickly before, and I'll say it again, disaster strikes. He'd rather save whatever self esteem he still has and head for the hills, so to speak. At this point I must say that women are the ones that sometimes don't know what to do. They expect the guy to know and do everything all the time so he has to do all the moves to succeed but in reality she should try to make the situation a little more pleasant as well and not so stressful. What harm can it do to meet a guy half way in the date. He'll sense it as well and knows that you placed some effort in it. This will make him more at ease and your date will be all the more fun.
Bar advice. Dating is suppose to be fun. Not a chore that needs the approval of another or you'll be going on"first dates" for a long time to come and never get to the second, third or more.
The way you approach, greet, talk and lead is going to make a girl feel comfortable with you. Women sometimes need to give the guy a little break because most guys are nervous when it comes to dating. Being on a first date makes everyone a little dumb and clumsy. Can you imagine the guy trying to pull your chair out at the table to sit and letting you slip on the floor instead of sliding it back in for you? Disaster big time.
Another thing will be having the meal. It's no big deal to order something you're familiar with than ordering something on the menu that sounds nice but taste like crap later and makes you go to the toilet every ten minutes. For a guy it may not be bad but for a girl going in the loo with her high heals and dress, disaster again.
What to say on the first date? You know what most guys do, they ask the same thing that the woman heard before. Once again calamity in the works. How? By making it boring. Flooding it with common and mundane topics. Such "yawn topics" include "Do you like your job?" "What does you parents do?" "What hobbies do you have?" She'll answer but her mind goes mostly "Zzzzzzzz..." By now she must be thinking this is not just your first date but your only date you ever had.
No one likes to answer predictable questions from dates gone by. A guy needs to stand out from the rest of the wolf pack. Something a guy can do is take time to read some women magazines. Be it your sister's or from the doctors office. Check out what's the latest gossip. You could also go online to check celebrity news or Hollywood drama. These things sometimes helps especially when it involves her favorite stars. The conversation becomes lively and heated, not in anger, but with lustful imagination and sexy, playful thoughts. Ask her who she likes best and if you got some stuff on him, use it to stimulate her inner feelings. It will surface and you benefit from her hormones. The quiet evening will become a rock concert.
Possibly, if you know her interest before hand, gather info on her interest then research it so you have something to chat about. You also got to let her do some talking and you some listening.
You got to end the evening with something to make her want to go out with you for another date. What to say? Tell her you want to cook her dinner and watch movies with the same celebrity you were just talking about for your next date. You could also tell her you want to go dancing on the next date and tell her she can't say No because you won't be able to take her strolling by the beach on the third one. These planed and thoughtful things will get her off guard and pleasantly surprised by a different sort of guy that she's never been with before. You'll be amazed to find that she's the one calling you to say goodnight on the phone; an indicator that she's thinking of you.
Women sometimes like a guy but just won't say it so the guy tends to feel pressured to end the date quickly before, and I'll say it again, disaster strikes. He'd rather save whatever self esteem he still has and head for the hills, so to speak. At this point I must say that women are the ones that sometimes don't know what to do. They expect the guy to know and do everything all the time so he has to do all the moves to succeed but in reality she should try to make the situation a little more pleasant as well and not so stressful. What harm can it do to meet a guy half way in the date. He'll sense it as well and knows that you placed some effort in it. This will make him more at ease and your date will be all the more fun.
Bar advice. Dating is suppose to be fun. Not a chore that needs the approval of another or you'll be going on"first dates" for a long time to come and never get to the second, third or more.
Faults
What can I say? Faults, we all got them. These faults can be something psychical, in our character, what we say, our behaviour or how we work. There's also the strengths and weaknesses that we have in dealing with others like family, friends and the relationship were in.
Stop what you're doing right now and go look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? At times I don't. If you say you do then great but most will agree with me that they would rather change something that they see as an imperfection. Why? It's just that people want to be seen the way they want others to see them so what they were born with is never good enough. Look at the women that go for beauty pageants. Do you think they got there because they were born like that? Most had stuff done before they joined the pageant. For some the mirror is a friend. For others it's their worst nightmare.
Lets look at what we are like inside. Everyone has faults in their character and being. How they behave and what they do can make the most handsome man or beautiful woman look ugly. Kindness and gentleness towards others sometimes seems soft and wimpy to some. It doesn't go well in the business and that's why a lot of women have a though time in the corporate world. Being shy won't land you that job. Gossiping about others will label you a bitch. Doing whatever the boss says makes you a "yes" man. Taking on extra works puts you in bad light with others because they think you're over ambitious. No one will talk to you because they think you're in cahoots with the boss.
Even going to lunch can be difficult. People start to criticize everything about you and even make fun about your clothes, the way you eat, the way you talk or what your hairstyle is like. If you're a woman it gets worse when all the other ladies are gossiping rumours about an affair that never happened but someone tarnished your reputation by making stuff up. They talk about your short shirt, low cleavage blouse, your shoes or your flirting (made up) with male colleagues. Guys have to worry about their language and comments with their female counterparts or find a sexual harassment complaint go up to the boss. Are all these faults that need correcting? Who is really at fault here?
In a relationship it can get really bad as well. Some people end up in divorce because the person they marry turns out to be a monster in disguise. You ask, "what happened to that sweet boy that brought me flowers?" or " why is this girl stuffing her face with so much food everyday that she now looks like a watermelon?" We find that the person we went out with and the person we live with are from different planets. Some live like slobs and expect everyone to pick after them even after marriage. Some like to cut their toenails on the bed or pick their nose and flick the booger out the window. They forgot that they had individual lives before. The smallest of things eventually adds up and divorce or a break up happens. All this is just what happens at home. Can you imagine going out in public?
All these faults are just the tip of the iceberg. There's some far worse than this. We all got them. We're not perfect and we can never be. However, we can change ourselves. Habits and life choices can be altered. We sometimes forget that others see us differently and we don't see all these faults till it's pointed out to us. Take the advice from good friends or love ones and you might just find a huge change in your life.
src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js" type="text/javascript">
Bar advice. The seven deadly sins are the extreme ends of this but there are people that have them. Stay clear of these ones.
Stop what you're doing right now and go look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? At times I don't. If you say you do then great but most will agree with me that they would rather change something that they see as an imperfection. Why? It's just that people want to be seen the way they want others to see them so what they were born with is never good enough. Look at the women that go for beauty pageants. Do you think they got there because they were born like that? Most had stuff done before they joined the pageant. For some the mirror is a friend. For others it's their worst nightmare.
Lets look at what we are like inside. Everyone has faults in their character and being. How they behave and what they do can make the most handsome man or beautiful woman look ugly. Kindness and gentleness towards others sometimes seems soft and wimpy to some. It doesn't go well in the business and that's why a lot of women have a though time in the corporate world. Being shy won't land you that job. Gossiping about others will label you a bitch. Doing whatever the boss says makes you a "yes" man. Taking on extra works puts you in bad light with others because they think you're over ambitious. No one will talk to you because they think you're in cahoots with the boss.
Even going to lunch can be difficult. People start to criticize everything about you and even make fun about your clothes, the way you eat, the way you talk or what your hairstyle is like. If you're a woman it gets worse when all the other ladies are gossiping rumours about an affair that never happened but someone tarnished your reputation by making stuff up. They talk about your short shirt, low cleavage blouse, your shoes or your flirting (made up) with male colleagues. Guys have to worry about their language and comments with their female counterparts or find a sexual harassment complaint go up to the boss. Are all these faults that need correcting? Who is really at fault here?
In a relationship it can get really bad as well. Some people end up in divorce because the person they marry turns out to be a monster in disguise. You ask, "what happened to that sweet boy that brought me flowers?" or " why is this girl stuffing her face with so much food everyday that she now looks like a watermelon?" We find that the person we went out with and the person we live with are from different planets. Some live like slobs and expect everyone to pick after them even after marriage. Some like to cut their toenails on the bed or pick their nose and flick the booger out the window. They forgot that they had individual lives before. The smallest of things eventually adds up and divorce or a break up happens. All this is just what happens at home. Can you imagine going out in public?
All these faults are just the tip of the iceberg. There's some far worse than this. We all got them. We're not perfect and we can never be. However, we can change ourselves. Habits and life choices can be altered. We sometimes forget that others see us differently and we don't see all these faults till it's pointed out to us. Take the advice from good friends or love ones and you might just find a huge change in your life.
src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js" type="text/javascript">
Bar advice. The seven deadly sins are the extreme ends of this but there are people that have them. Stay clear of these ones.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
What happened to the sex?
What happened to the sex? Over time, without careful attention, sex can become routine and then fade from a relationship, sometimes altogether. Consider that the average couple has sex once a week. How does that bode for the slightly below average, or worse, those on the bottom of the fulfilling sex life scale?
While doing it less than ten times a year is the "technical" qualification for a celibate relationship, the reality is, if you're concerned about the infrequency of sex in your pairing, it's time to address the issue before it gets too late.
Sex is a normal, healthy part of human existence despite societal hang ups and prudishness. Intolerance for sexuality, sexual desire and sexual preference is ignorant and shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the human body. That doesn't mean anyone who has hang ups about sex is bad or wrong. We live in a culture that simultaneously demonizes and glorifies all things sex related. As such, it's no wonder so many of us are confused about the acceptability of our urges and what sex should truly be.
We do have to consider religious views of this subject but most people don't have a problem with sex. Certain things may be taboo but the individual has to want sex with their partner. If you want to have a healthy relationship, one that is satisfying for both partners and complete in its scope, it's time to face your issues and work through them or move on. Sex is the glue that holds a romantic love relationship together. Period. Take it away and when the tough times come, it'll be a whole lot harder to stand up together and power through them. It'll also be a lot harder to remain amicable and avoid resentment. We're human beings and when we're healthy, we need sex. It's actually good for us.
So what do you do if you're in a sex free relationship? As with most things in life, it's crucial to come to a place of understanding. If you look back over the time you've been with your partner, can you place where the sex stopped? Was it simple and clear cut or was it gradual? Was it the result of sexual differences or the product of a series of stressful situations. Did one or the other of you decide you "just didn't feel like it," until that became the status quo? These things tend to happen to married couples more but it can also happen to singles especially those that have been together for a long time. If the fire of making love is dwindling, you better do something soon.
You should consider how long you've been together. Monotony between the sheets is pretty common in a long term relationship or marriage and the investment is such that it's worthwhile to put in the effort to fix things. But if you've only been together a few months and you find yourself looking elsewhere or not looking at all, how much is it really worth to turn things around? Can that even be done? Is it possible you're just not the right match? It's hard to face, but it happens. Chemistry is complicated and you can't beat yourself up for that. You can simply address the issue and move on. While it may be tough in the moment, when you're in a successful, physically intimate and fulfilling relationship down the road, you'll know you made the right decision.
Whatever answers thoughtful analysis brings you, it's also vital not to blame yourself or your partner. Relationships are a two way street and both of you may have allowed this behavior to continue. That said, accepting responsibility for your role in the situation may do a lot toward remedying it, if that's what you both want to do. If you can approach your partner with an honest apology for your part in letting things get to this point, they're going to be more likely to reciprocate and to work with you to get things back on track in the bedroom. However, understand this, if you're not having sex, the problems most likely extend beyond the closed doors of your boudoir.
While it's possible that your sex free zone has arisen out of physical problems (if you or your partner are experiencing prolonged diminished desire, it's worthwhile to speak to a doctor), these situations often present a chicken or the egg conundrum. In other words, did you stop feeling desire first or did something happen to decrease your desire? No matter the situation, only you can decide if or when it's time to leave. Many sexual problems can be resolved with effort and dedication. There are some schools of thought that say "fake it til you make it" and the desire will come back. How you choose to handle it is up to you but remember this, accepting less than what you want in a relationship sends the sign that you're willing to settle and a lifetime without sex is a whole lot more compromise than it's worth.
Bar advice. Making love with someone you're in love with is suppose to be the best there is and cannot be expressed into words what the heart is feeling. If you don't have this feeling, you're in trouble.
While doing it less than ten times a year is the "technical" qualification for a celibate relationship, the reality is, if you're concerned about the infrequency of sex in your pairing, it's time to address the issue before it gets too late.
Sex is a normal, healthy part of human existence despite societal hang ups and prudishness. Intolerance for sexuality, sexual desire and sexual preference is ignorant and shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the human body. That doesn't mean anyone who has hang ups about sex is bad or wrong. We live in a culture that simultaneously demonizes and glorifies all things sex related. As such, it's no wonder so many of us are confused about the acceptability of our urges and what sex should truly be.
We do have to consider religious views of this subject but most people don't have a problem with sex. Certain things may be taboo but the individual has to want sex with their partner. If you want to have a healthy relationship, one that is satisfying for both partners and complete in its scope, it's time to face your issues and work through them or move on. Sex is the glue that holds a romantic love relationship together. Period. Take it away and when the tough times come, it'll be a whole lot harder to stand up together and power through them. It'll also be a lot harder to remain amicable and avoid resentment. We're human beings and when we're healthy, we need sex. It's actually good for us.
So what do you do if you're in a sex free relationship? As with most things in life, it's crucial to come to a place of understanding. If you look back over the time you've been with your partner, can you place where the sex stopped? Was it simple and clear cut or was it gradual? Was it the result of sexual differences or the product of a series of stressful situations. Did one or the other of you decide you "just didn't feel like it," until that became the status quo? These things tend to happen to married couples more but it can also happen to singles especially those that have been together for a long time. If the fire of making love is dwindling, you better do something soon.
You should consider how long you've been together. Monotony between the sheets is pretty common in a long term relationship or marriage and the investment is such that it's worthwhile to put in the effort to fix things. But if you've only been together a few months and you find yourself looking elsewhere or not looking at all, how much is it really worth to turn things around? Can that even be done? Is it possible you're just not the right match? It's hard to face, but it happens. Chemistry is complicated and you can't beat yourself up for that. You can simply address the issue and move on. While it may be tough in the moment, when you're in a successful, physically intimate and fulfilling relationship down the road, you'll know you made the right decision.
Whatever answers thoughtful analysis brings you, it's also vital not to blame yourself or your partner. Relationships are a two way street and both of you may have allowed this behavior to continue. That said, accepting responsibility for your role in the situation may do a lot toward remedying it, if that's what you both want to do. If you can approach your partner with an honest apology for your part in letting things get to this point, they're going to be more likely to reciprocate and to work with you to get things back on track in the bedroom. However, understand this, if you're not having sex, the problems most likely extend beyond the closed doors of your boudoir.
While it's possible that your sex free zone has arisen out of physical problems (if you or your partner are experiencing prolonged diminished desire, it's worthwhile to speak to a doctor), these situations often present a chicken or the egg conundrum. In other words, did you stop feeling desire first or did something happen to decrease your desire? No matter the situation, only you can decide if or when it's time to leave. Many sexual problems can be resolved with effort and dedication. There are some schools of thought that say "fake it til you make it" and the desire will come back. How you choose to handle it is up to you but remember this, accepting less than what you want in a relationship sends the sign that you're willing to settle and a lifetime without sex is a whole lot more compromise than it's worth.
Bar advice. Making love with someone you're in love with is suppose to be the best there is and cannot be expressed into words what the heart is feeling. If you don't have this feeling, you're in trouble.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)