For some, because they are still young, it's not yet a problem. Funny thing is when they get older the panic button starts to be pushed and I don't just mean by the individual themselves but by friends, mothers, fathers and even siblings try to fix them up. A younger person is like a strawberry. All plum and nice, very colourful, sweet and ripe to be plucked. The older people, well, they're like a daiquiri that you need before lunch time. Something you need to have to make you numb to get through the day.
Now you probably have to work and all your colleagues are either talking about their husbands or their boyfriends during the lunch hour. You got to listen to all those romantic sloppy details while remembering that you were in bed with a book and your reading glasses the night before. Then there's the fact that your mother is calling you at work and telling you that she just met a neighbours cousins friends daughter who seems to be a good match for you. You make an excuse and try to hush and hurry off the phone so you don't have to listen to her and pretend you were busy at work.
When you get home your dad is feeling sorry for you and he's worried for you at the same time. He'll try a fatherly approach while you put on a brave face to hear the never ending same old story. He may even encourage you do the online dating thing. Your brother or sister, which is much younger, is pissing you off because they hog the phone with their love interest and when you get angry with them they just rub salt in the wound by teasing about yourself being single and bitter or worse jealous.
The truth is the people that are in this category are between 32 to 45 for women and 38 to 50 for men. During this particular age they lie to themselves that everything will be alright so they can seek comfort within themselves and not show others that they are a little scared that they'll never find the right person or ever get hitched. For some they never will but others try desperately to still find someone. Nothing wrong to seek out a glimmer of hope but if you've put such a high wall or barrier up that no one can climb or even view whats on the other side, how is it going to work?
You're no longer the colourful, youthful or even fruitful strawberry. What you bring to a relationship is not the same as if you were in your twenties. You may still see, through your eyes, life and everybody and things like you are in your twenties but you're only kidding yourself if you think others see you like that. There must be a change in attitude and thinking if you're going to have any hope of being with someone. Certain criteria and standards may have to be altered. Don't forget that the person you meet will have to do the same. They too may have had certain expectations of the other but their downfall was never having anyone actually meet those expectations. That's why they're in the same boat as you and in that boat there seems to be only one oar that when paddled just makes you move in unending circles.
If only those expectations can be filtered a little or some dropped all together. You will find that you may just meet someone that's been searching just as hard as you. So what if she's a little shorter, he's a bit balding, she's slightly over weight, his teeth are not so straight, her chest is too flat, he had seven girlfriends or she's not a virgin? Right now you're all sipping that daiquiri and hoping to drown away that pain of not being appreciated or being lonely at times.
Just imagine someone that you can confide in. Someone you can tell a secret to. Joke with or talk to about matters of interest. This person makes your heart feel joy each time you see them or talk to them. Maybe a holiday together to be a little more intimate. This person can be your best friend as well as your lover. You've been so introverted because you thought you had no hope so explode out all those feelings. You will feel greater joy in life itself. You'll look to the heavens and wonder what prayers you said that let God send you this saving grace of an individual that can fill that void that was there before.
Bar advice. Never give up hope but make changes. Everyone including yourself needs love and acceptance will make you, and I stress you, a happier person. You both may just start having a strawberry daiquiri together.
