After meeting up with several people or taking to them on the phone after the holidays has made me realize that change happens to a lot of people in many ways. Some for personal reasons like self development. Others in their relationship, dating or sexual flaws. Also, those that work differently.
Sure, most of us made resolutions. Some with great reflection on their lives. Where they stand, what frame of mind they're in, what they have not accomplished yet and even the dreaded stigma of being single after all these years. Can it be all that bad? Should we start out the year with all this negativity. All the doom and gloom of last year still attached to our heels. Thus begins the resolution reversal.
You get to work and see all the co-workers, the boss, some new person, someone promoted and has their own office but worse of all you see that stupid darn desk you left behind to go enjoy the holidays. You sit there, reminiscing about the last two weeks of the holidays and then a pile of paperwork gets dumped on your desk. Reality hits you like a ton of bricks that you're back in the real world. Chained to the desk that puts money in your pocket, food on the table and shoes on your feet. You want to just scream or at least run to the first pub at knock off time and down a pitcher of beer just so you can get the taste of office air out of your system.
As the days go by, you get passing remarks about the extra weight you're carrying around after all that holiday feasting you did. Suddenly you remember you told yourself you were going to do some exercises to shape up and keep fit. Worse of all your best friend, who always seems to look great, keeps urging you to move your fat, lard of an ass to workout. It just makes you feel like tearing their head off and using it as a medicine ball just so that it will shut them up. The thing is you know deep in your heart that you really need to keep in shape. Be it married and especially single. So you put it some effort after all.
There will be the constant reminder from family members with regard to your single hood and the mirror is no help either. So what do you tell yourself, standing naked in front of that mirror? "It's going to happen for me this year". Yup, you keep telling yourself that so you feel better and try to focus your mind to that goal. You get some new clothes, shoes, hairstyle and some even a new car. You feel like there's going to be a meeting of the person of your dreams that weekend. You're going to meet them and you'll fall head over heels in love. Thoughts of showing off your love interest to everyone is buzzing in your head.
You know some people were silent when the holidays came around and you were once again alone. They didn't want to embarrass you but now you think it could happen. Optimism is good but the reality is, no prince or princess is going to show up all packaged like a doll in the store for you to choose. Wake up! People are going to have faults. They also probably can't stand the way you do certain things like burp after a meal, maybe talk with your mouth full or even the way you drive the car.
It take a lot of work to be with someone. Expectations that are high is going to leave you with a fall of the hill. To settle in comfortably with someone means accepting them as themselves. Their shortcomings and little awkward rituals or regimes was there way before you were in their lives. Are they suppose to accept yours? Without looking at the fact that you have them as well and not being judgemental or selfish will shed light onto what is really important in life and love. Also, don't let others like siblings, parents, colleagues or friends tell you that the person is not right for you. If it is collective, however, than you must be turning a blind eye to the person not being right for you in the first place. This tends to happen when one is a little desperate to close the gap of loneliness and loveless.
In a nutshell, a lot of us will end up doing the same old things like last year but there's just a few of us that finally move out of the routine and change happens. After that, if you look back at all the others, you'll see them still stuck in that time warp while you're light years ahead and happy.
Bar advice. Where would you rather be at the end of this new year? No more thoughts, memories, sorrows, writing stuff on paper or turning away. Take action now.