The Lesbian issue Part 1

If all of you have been reading the blog then you can see that I have not really touched on the gay issue, be it men or women. Lesbians is the issue, as people keep seeing it all over, and it's a blur for guys in many ways. I will get to gay men another time.

Basically it comes down to the fact that in the old days lesbians hid the fact that they were such. Same as men. Some probably didn't understand why they were behaving like that or had thoughts of other women in a sexual way. Nowadays it is more upfront and a lot of younger women are able to understand themselves better. They see it more commonly on MTV, movies, books and other media formats and they also find that it's widely accepted now.

One startling point to make is that a lot of women are having this psychological, if not biological issue, and it's unclear to them how to react or behave in front of parents, friends, colleagues or the public. They live with constraint of deep emotional and a physical prison that lacks compassion from the world surrounding them. With modern tools like the Internet, chat rooms, adult friendfinders and so on, they can find others in the same situation as themselves and there they can also seek out others as friends and lovers whom they believe understands them.

My issue is the fact that in this modern day and age, a lot of guys seeking for a potential mate, wife, girlfriend and such is left wondering if she's straight or not. It's bad enough that most countries are facing a shortage in birth rates and marriages and high increase in divorce, what's the average male to do? He too searches on the Internet site and such because it's so hard at times to seek out a female that wants to be partnered. The fact that some women are bi-sexual is also a contributing factor because a lot of guys won't want to have anybody, male or female, share his love interest.

Going to a bar or club and you spot a girl. She looks fine. You see no other man around. You start to walk over. Her friend spots you coming so she walks up to her and gives her a kiss. You drift off to the side and play like you weren't going up to her to hide your embarrassment. Is this almost a familiar site that we can see all over. Sometimes a guy makes it into conversation with the girl only to be told that she's not interested because she's more into other women. Even Internet sites tell guys to stay away as it's for lesbian women only.

Another sad dilemma for guys is when a lesbian is trying to lure a straight girl, just like a guy who likes a girl, convinces her that all men are dogs and only other women can understand another woman better and that includes matters of the heart and all aspects of sexual pleasure. Lots of these women are keen on getting younger women because the younger ones are more prone to accepting them if they have been hurt or cheated by a man. A lot of the butch types like to act like they are men as well and often dress in a manly way, spotting short hairdos and pants or jeans. They also try to talk and act like male, often swearing and drinking excessively.

Lesbian that are more female orientated can also be extremely beautiful. She may make lots of men's heads turn as she walks by but she herself will only look at the women that look at her. She is also the type that will 'poison' another girls mind about men. This could take place in a bar, club, at work, over the phone and so on. Her intention is to get the girl that she desires but not try to show everyone that she is a lesbian. Her fear of others looking at her in this manner makes her feel uncomfortable. This especially includes family and people at work. If she engages another girl at work she will tread very lightly for fear that if there is rejection she will be exposed. Most of the time the pursuit is far from known persons.

What is a man to do knowing that he is now limited to a lesser amount of straight women? Nowadays it's hard to know if the girl that you want or currently are dating was bi-curious, experimented a little, was hardcore, just kissed and hugged or gave cunnilingus to another girl. If she became his wife and one day bumped into her ex-lover when you two were together on the street, then what happens? Anything really. What if the guy never knew before?

Sure we all have see porn somhow or somewhere and even I will say that a man can stomach two women 'doing it'. His imagination will get the better of him if he thinks of the two women inviting him into the action but the reality is that stuff is unlikely to happen in reality. Not to boast but I personally have been with two and even three women at the same time but they were not lesbians and never did anything to each other while I was with them. It felt better that I was their interest and not each other. Well that's another story for later.

Women are always out with each other since the dawn of time. It's safer to stick with one another and help out a friend with difficult men. Some just want a listening ear of another female. Guys these days don't know if that's the case or if the women are "into each other". This leaves them to stay back and only approach if signaled by the girl. Even then he keeps an eye out for the other women in case one turns out to be vicious bitch.

The reality is that it gets really hard for men to find women because they don't know the signs of what a lesbian will look like. They don't want to get in their way but simply go about their normal way of attracting women that are straight. It's really hard when you have to compete with other men but it gets even harder knowing that women are also gunning for the same fair maiden.

Bar advice. I don't claim to know a lot about lesbians but I have lots of experience with them and know or have known many.

How to be Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

An extremely practical, warm, and honest manual on courtship in American society. You are guaranteed to learn important things about your sex, and the opposite sex, you've never known, and be reminded of sensible things that you've known but have simply not acted upon. If you're single but wanting to couple, this is a truly great book.

This book is really for the early beginners that need some basic tips to gain ground in the attracting game. Simple things and changes that they can do to help themselves. More seasoned people can find other sources at Amazon if they want to spice it up further.

Bar advice. It's not that you aren't good enough, maybe you just don't know the things that you need to do.

Tips to attract the opposite sex

If you want to know how to attract the opposite sex, read these tips.

The first tip on how to attract the opposite sex is to stand out in a crowd. Being the center of attention will create the illusion that you are worth getting to know. After all, everyone else evidently thinks so, so why shouldn't’t that special she or he as well? If you can’t do or say something to draw a crowd (no, not something weird) then simply stand in the center of the room. It works.

Bars are the exception to this standing in the center rule. Yes, it’s still good to be the center of attention, but for some reason the best place to get noticed in a bar is in the corner. No, not on a timeout facing the wall, or looking like a scared little wallflower but sitting at the end of the bar. Don’t sit at a table. You’re less approachable in a bar when you’re at a table, and someone of the same sex is bound to ask to join you if the bar is crowded.

Color is important in your attempt to attract the opposite sex. Not only can it help you attract the opposite sex but you can also have some control of which of the opposite sex you attract by choosing the colors of your wardrobe.Color consultants have studied color’s effect on the opposite sex and the determination is that most women find men who wear blue the most attractive of those wearing any other color.

Blue conveys a message of stability, constancy, dependability and faithfulness. Of course, the fact that clothes and their colors match that the tie coordinates with that blue suit and the socks aren’t green, helps make a good impression as well.

For women who want to know how to use color to attract the opposite sex, the generally safe color is pink or peach. It makes a woman’s skin glow with a look of health, no matter what her skin tone is.These are the colors that convey soft and vulnerable too, which macho males are attracted to. Other colors can work as well but those are far the best for attraction purposes. Don't go overboard and end up looking like a freak show.

Now, if you want to make sure you don’t convey vulnerability, if you’re strong and you want the man to know it and you want to be sure and find a guy for whom this isn’t a threat, then wear a deep red, plum or burgundy. Red is certainly the most sensual of colors, but it’s also the most powerful too.

The two types of men that red will attract are those attracted to powerful women and those who are interested primarily in sex. With red you might find the man who isn’t threatened by your strength, but you also may have to weed through a lot of horny chaff to finally find him. If you want to find out how not to attract the opposite sex wear yellow or green. They’re sure to stay away in droves.

Ladies should wear a nice light lipstick. Preferably a glossy one as this makes the lips seem more inviting to the guys. Don't use it to the office. You'll look more like a bitch than a boss. It's more of a attraction tool. Guys, remember to wear a good pair of shoes. Women always look there when assessing a man. Men should comb their hair, unless you've got the bald look going, because you will seem neat and fresh looking to her.

When meeting a man/woman, speak with courtesy. Manners play an important part in the way the other person feels about you. It tells them that you were brought up right. Also, be confident. You may only have one shot at that stage. If you blow it then you have only yourself to blame. Think before saying or doing anything.

Bar advice. The best thing that I can say to help you would be to find out more on tips to attract the opposite sex before you go out there and fall fall flat on your face.

Items you need when meeting women

The items you carry can make all the difference in the world when it comes to meeting women. In other words, you have to like a boy scout, and always be prepared. By carrying certain things, you'll find that it's a lot easier to engage women in conversation and impress them.

Here are just a few things you should have on you when you're out meeting women.

A Camera
Having a camera is a great way to capture great moments and show you're having fun with your friends. One trick is to ask an attractive girl nearby to take a picture of you and your friends. Then once she takes the picture, say something funny and initiate a conversation. Please don't go asking if you can take nude shots of her.

A Lighter
Even if you don't smoke, carry a lighter. By having a lighter, you can easily initiate a conversation with a girl if she is a smoker and needs a light. Don't take it out and play with it as some women are put off by smokers so you'll loose out if she's that sort.

Gum and Breath Mints
The quickest way to turn-off a woman is to have bad breath. To prevent this, you should carry an assortment of breath mints and gum. Usually mint flavor gum or Altoids can dramatically improve any body's breath. Drinkers especially need this or if you just had dinner with lots of garlic.

A Pen or Cell Phone
In order to get a girl's number, you should have a device that will help you quickly jot it down. If you don't have anything you'll look like an amateur when you're wandering around asking people if they have a pen. By carrying a cell phone or pen, you can quickly grab a woman's number while maintaining your conversation. If using a pen, you should keep small bits of paper in your wallet as well.

Condoms
Obviously you know what a condom is used for. Yet many guys make the mistake of not carrying this simple item. In this age of sexually transmitted diseases, it's an absolute must to always have protection. Don't take the risk of disease by not carrying condoms on you. Also she may fear you if you want to risk not using it. By not carrying it you will have to go to a store to buy with her in tow and she may be embarrassed with the storekeeper looking at her. The whole mood will be changed.

Bar advice. It's important to be prepared for the common things that occur when you're meeting women. Carrying these simple items prepares you for any situation.

Is it love or lust at first sight?

Love at first sight. It’s the stuff of fairy tales, of romantic movies and, of course, of a hefty sampling of romance novels but does love at first sight really exist?

It turns out that people make fairly quick decisions about how much they like a person, then naturally put more dedication to expanding the relationships with those they felt an immediate connection to.

So is it Love or Lust?

Of course, those who have fallen hard in “love at first sight” may have later been let down when they realized it wasn’t really love that was fanning the fire, but lust. Love at first sight is often just lust at first site. We crave for a mate so we fool ourselves into the belief that has been placed inside us when we were young. This come from either the movies, stories or people that we heard talking about it.

How can you tell if your newfound love is going to withstand the test of time or, if you’ve already found your long-time love, what advice can you give to the youngsters in your life? By letting go of it. How to do that?

The way to check if it is lust or love is to let go of the feelings. If it is love the feeling will get stronger and more expanded yet quieter. If it is simply lust, when you let go you may start to actually feel the love. Either way, allow yourself to enjoy the ride and follow your heart. It will start to make sense to you when you find that the person you're with leaves a sense of emptiness in your heart when they are not there. Love is strong feeling that can break you down. Lust just feeds into your pleasure systems and you can get it with another person if you wanted. This is the difference between the two.

The feeling of making love with someone that you're "in love with" and someone you may like or just met is worlds apart. There is a feeling of unity and also a "oneness" that cannot be explained. Anyone in this situation can understand this. It is so different yet real. Falling in love or in lust is hard to define unless you've been in love before. Then you can tell the difference.

Bar advice. Take baby steps in the relationship before jumping in the sack to define your relationship status. It will reveal if you're in love with the heart or the body.

Pay it forward- The Secret

If you have seen the movie then you can remember that it takes so little sometimes to make a big change in peoples lives.

The Secret is to change your thoughts, intentions, motives and self to make a change in the lives of others, your surroundings and the world in general. The universe sends back the energy that you place out there. By the laws of attraction, you get more than what is sent out of oneself and what you desire becomes a reality.

Bar advice. What have you done to Pay it Forward? If the cycle starts moving it becomes a better world for all.

Self esteem

The book, written by Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning, is loaded with useful exercises that illustrate the concept and show you how to apply them to bring about change. However, you really need to do ALL of them faithfully to get results. Many people who approach this work don't want to make that kind of time investment. However, it's a book you must do and not just read to get the results required.

In short, the book looks at examining largely unconscious thoughts and unexamined assumptions about reality. It shows you how to challenge these dysfunctional beliefs and how to use compassion to look more deeply so your psychological defense mechanisms don't get in the way.

This book is for people who are really serious about seeking change. Some sections are dense with concepts and it's really a book you need to engage with in order to reap the benefits. There are lighter versions of this kind of content. However, in my experience it takes a hard push to overcome our past conditioning.

Bar advice. We are all "conditioned" from an early age that when we become adults we are not ready to face the real world and all there is in it.

Give your self esteem a boost

Self esteem is not only important in the long run. It’s necessary to be able to boost your confidence whenever you feel it starting to fade. The good news is that self esteem can be developed in you just as you can learn how to ride a bike and once you have it it’ll be there for good

How can you tell if you have low self-esteem?

• You tend to analyze yourself often.
• You fear adversity and alienated from parents/authority figures in your life.
• You rarely smile and tend to have a negative outlook.
• You feel tired often and rarely set goals for yourself.
• You’d rather be alone than meet new people.
• You have a hard time making friends.
• You don’t make eye contact with others, trouble with trust, intimacy and affection.
• You don’t take risks.
• You create negative effects and may be needy, clingy or even may fake affection.
• You engage in negative self-talk and don’t forgive yourself or others.

Giving your self-esteem a boost, and keeping it boosted for good, is well within your reach. Here are steps you need to get you there:

Let go of negative, doubtful and fearful feelings.

Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat well and tend to your appearance. When you feel good from a physical and aesthetic perspective, you’ll have a much easier time feeling good from a mental perspective as well.

Respect others. Be truthful, fair and open-minded to those around you.

Be positive. Smile often, give compliments to yourself and others, and stop thinking negatively about yourself.

Learn to forgive and forget. This includes forgiving yourself and learning how to take responsibility.

Give thanks. Show gratitude for your life and the people in it.

Go after your goals. Figure out what it is that makes you happy in life, and make it a point to spend lots of time doing it.

Bar advice. Keep away from negative people and places. Open yourself to more positive people to surround you to reach your objectives and goals.