Friday, February 29, 2008

No feelings

I often hear people say that after going out with a lady once, how come she wouldn't want to go out with them again. If you guys are asking the same, you'd be treated with this 'final answer' that once and for all lays that question to rest.

A majority of the women coincidentally say, "Because there were NO FEELINGS" to the guy when the date ends. It may seem too unclear, so let's explore what does "no feelings" mean exactly when women say that. Firstly, when a woman goes out with a guy the first time, she's hoping it would be different on that new date as compared to other disappointing ones she went to. She secretly craves to feel some emotions on a date. Hopeful that the guy can spark some special interest in her. In cases where there's zero emotions generated, she tells her friends or colleagues the next day how much the date, or the guy, sucked. She also uses these words to get out of guys that are pester her constantly to go out or who she feels may disclose that he likes her.

Opposite is true too. When she did experience feelings on a date, she'll tell her friends how much she wanted to see that guy again. So, on an unspoken level, a woman wants to feel three primary emotions on a date.

1)She wants to feel you are interesting. That means having a 'thrill factor' and fascination associated with interacting with you. Most dates are called 'boring' by ladies simply because she experienced a lack of something new. As a guideline, the amount of giggling and smiles from the female is a fair measure of how interesting the experience is. Use that as a measurement device for the amount of interest you generate on a date. However, being interesting alone is not enough sometimes.

2)She wants feelings of getting attracted to you. Human beings have 'mating habits', just like any other species on earth. Within these mating habits, there are "rules" that define what makes a man "high mating quotient" and what makes him a person of "low mating quotient". The good news is, man is a 'self-correcting' species, with the ability to learn and turn from low to high mating quotient. On a date, it's your role to reflect the super male traits that women naturally get attracted to in a man. This is no bull. It's instinctive in females since the dawn of mankind and caveman days when trying to develope a realtionship.

3)She wants to feel she bonded with you. You may have the most interesting things to say, but if you don't know how to create closeness or bridge the gap between you and her, the date may not work out well. It's a pity when some guys go out with women and spend the whole day chatting but in the end nothing is done to pull close the distance. You may get a shot at another date but if it happens again you'll be pushed to the "friends" list in her book.

So, the date is simply a 'frame of time' that gives you an opportunity to bring about the above feelings in the gal. One thing's for sure, you'll definitely find yourself in dating situations with women in future. Since it's going to be unavoidable, try to masterfully ace that date. How; is going to be up to you guys really.

Bar advice. There will be times when a lady just 'clicks' with you right off the bat. Well, don't waste too much time thinking about what skills to use. Let things take a natural course.

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