Sunday, June 10, 2007

Relationships that don't take off.

Last week Mindy(not real name), the one that works at the restaurant nearby, came to the bar. "Just killing time to go meet someone later", she said. She started to tell me that she was leaving her company and worse of all, that she and her boyfriend had ended the relationship. No surprise to me actually.

She said that what I had told her before about it not working out and that he was after different things and relationship than her, was true. I wasn't sure if she was alright about it because she didn't really show it. Was she hurting inside? Possibly but she wasn't expressing it. Later I find out that she was calculating her zodiac a year extra because they do that in the Chinese culture. She wasn't a Capricorn/Pig but a Capricorn/Rooster. Now here's what she really is like in character.

Dignified and impeccable, the Capricorn born Rooster cuts a dashing figure. He/She will be well turned out, strong of opinion and honest to a fault. Capricorn's reserve matches the conservative side of the Rooster nature harmoniously. There is little conflict and lots of restraint. The Capricorn/Rooster possesses integrity and autonomy. He/She functions well alone if need be but prefers to be surrounded. Count on the Capricorn/Rooster to do the "done" thing. This person's charm is increased by his/her excellent manners, careful use of words, and ability to find the best in each situation. Capricorn/Roosters worry about how others see them and make heroic efforts to please those who judge their behavior. These people care greatly for appearances but are never guilty of pretension. You won't find one of these noble souls engaged in anything disreputable. Even sex! No. This character is faithful to a fault (if such a thing exists) and not attracted to dealing with deep emotion. He or she is easy to love. Everybody does. But intimacy with such a reserved type is a challenge to say the least.

Now I understand why it was hard to figure out if she was hurting inside. With her character she's not one to really show it. Lot of the other traits are fitting this lovely girl as well. One thing she did admit to me was when I told her she was still a newbie about things like work, people, worldly affairs and of course relationships. Maybe she wasn't all that upset because the relationship was still new and deep feelings had not set in yet. She even said she hoped someone better would come along soon.

The fact that relationships that don't take off when and if we want them to is normal with lots of people. We chance upon someone and hope they will be the one we have been searching for or at least close to it. We don't want to have someone to be humourous only to find out that he can be too much of a clown. Not someone to be a hard worker and find that he/she is not around at all because of work. There's got to be acceptable allowances but fulfills our needs as well. Most importantly they just got to be there for us and committed as well.

Bar advice. In the end we have to remember that it either works out or we need to get out of the relationship we're in.

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