Monday, April 23, 2007

Love is forgiveness

Most of the lovers do not forgive their loved ones. They may forgive their sworn enemy, but they may not forgive their lover. Do you agree with me? Why is this so? It should have been exactly reverse. Somehow it's a always the case of a third party.

What is love? What do we understand by loving someone? How is love different than other relationships and emotions? In love, we give our whole mind and heart to our beloved. We try to keep our beloved most comfortable. We take care not to hurt our darling. In love, we care for each other. We are in the mood of giving in love. Giving always gives more pleasure in love than anything else. If we give things, our heart, our being, our soul, our time and more; it doesn't matter to us because we feel so cherished and want to make the other happy.

If our lover makes a mistake, shall we berate them? Shall we blame them and give them pain? Shall we hold it against them forever? Shall we call them betrayer? If we do all this then it is not love, but a business relationship. You feel you have given so much now want the truth, faithfulness and everything else in return. You feel sad and confused. What has gone wrong?

In love, we have to forgive. We have to pacify our beloved that mistakes are a way of life and everybody does them. We have to tell them not to worry and we are with them. We have to tell them to stop thinking of what happened and think of good things and try to live life joyously. But a majority of us behave in reverse. That is our failure. It was never love to begin with. If you believe that you love your partner, please learn forgiveness.

A quick story is whereby I was forgiven for flirting with another girl and her friends told her about. It was really nothing and there was no intent for anything to happen. i guess I did not consider what her feelings about it would be. She confronted me and the girl about it. Nothing really did happen but it hurt her to know that I did something of that nature. In the end we had a long talk and I apologised for what happened and for hurting her. We made up and she cried for a while but was glad that we had sorted things out.

One thing that normally happens when women find out that a guy has cheated, not in my case though, is to seek out the other woman to confront her. She does this to see with her own eyes what was so special about the other woman. Also, she wants to give her a piece of her mind. The one thing is she forgets is that the guy is a willing party to the actions taken. She should be dealing the issues with the guy instead of the other woman who may not even know that he was seeing anyone. The worst thing happens to be the lack of respect that the guy has done if he sleeps with another when he's in a relationship. There's really something lacking in the relationship if this happens. Both need to tackle the problem with great desire.

If they are a married couple or not, forgiveness can still be allowed. Why? It hurts yes but the shame and guilt has been placed on the head of the culprit. The one you love and reality are still in love with although he may have done this terrible thing. It will take time but people can work things out. If it be the girl that has made the betrayal, most men will be devastated. Professional help may be need but it can be done as well.

Bar advice. The human heart is a fragile thing but it's ability to love and forgive is great. You may not know just yet your own ability.

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