Saturday, January 13, 2007

Cofidence for you ladies. Know it now.

Remember Teri Hatcher doing those impossible splits right on the studio floor on Oprah's show? Sheer confidence! Maybe Carmen Electra positively gushing about what exotic dance has done for her body and bedroom tactics? A large number of celebrities have recently taken to a sexy alternative to working out. From pole vaulting they have leapt straight to pole dancing at the X Factor and they aren’t stopping at pole-dancing either. Our celebrity pin-up girls have been everywhere and done everything, from Strip-Aerobics to Exotic Dance Workouts, the motto is ‘Everything sexy goes’!

If all this sudden gush for sex is making you blush, you go ahead and click your tongue and hang your head in shame, no one will begrudge you. “SEX SELLS” and we are being sold it morning, noon and night through every possible channel. It screams at you from gigantic billboards featuring gorgeous demi-love-gods, pierces into your fantasy’s through the television and fondles your imagination with semi-naked bodies scattered all over the net. Life itself is like one giant, prolonged orgasm and as a woman you are expected to idolize those models and endeavor to look like one.

Sure you wanna be Carrie from ‘Sex and the City’ and moan and groan and roll around on your bed with a different guy every night, seven nights a week turning your life into a series of fantastic sexual escapade but you'll snap out of it. After all life is not a TV show and learning how to embrace your sexuality takes time and effort.

First impressions are important. Amongst the glamour of the TV shows and the supposed sexual abandonment, the skin and the G-Strings, women have to deal with mixed messages, guilt trips, religious dogma, body image, and misinformation. Sure getting your hymen snapped by 16 is a must, but so is regretting doing it by 25. Beneath all our external frills, getting laid is an issue women deal with badly.

The concept of‘Positive Sex is an idea not many of us have managed to fathom yet. Fornication is still, essentially a male domain, where women participate like whimpering goats, hesitating and interestingly enough feeling insecure about their role in it all. In general cases.

A majority of women swear by making love in the dark. Here's what I KNOW, most of us are ashamed of our body. Nudity is a concept we haven't been taught to handle well. Seeing ourselves naked freaks us out, and knowing that someone else is watching us naked, desiring our body for itself, brings to life our worst fears. This is the gaze our parents warned us against, this is what religious lessons have told us to avoid. So off goes the light, plunging everything, from ourselves, to that desirous gaze, to our insecurities, into comforting darkness.

The truth is that the darkness serves as a warm invitation to what Susan Bremer calls our ''Shadow”side. ‘'Every woman wants to take a trip to their wild side” she explains,‘We all yearn to seduce. But we've been told over and over again that to rejoice in our body is immoral, yet the wish to feel powerful in our sensuality, to express our sexuality remains.” Jane(a girl I know), a proud ‘Gentleman club’ dancer considers her sexual prowess to be her way of establishing her role in a world hounded by men.

This sense of power probably needs some delving into. As women suffer from their own insecurities. It’s a cliche by now but they all know that the world belongs to the testosterone thugs. They keep women down everywhere, be it in the boardroom or wherever. Slowly women grow use to being kept down, such that they soon become conditioned to not reversing the situation at all.

A positive sex-image, whether you use it or not, can and will alter all this most miraculously. Your sexual achievements in the bedroom can give you the kind of omnipotent confidence which oozes out from your personal to public sphere. For any woman with low self-esteem, the act of embracing your sexuality serves as a miracle tool for believing that she can have that effect on other people, in a non-sexual environment too.

The thing is, much as we try to shake it off, we are all sexual beings. Sex is important to us and it has the power to make us feel good. 65% of women in most countries do not, at their heart of hearts, take this idea seriously. Good sex or an attempt to have good sex, for them, is still a nudge-nudge-whisper-whisper issue. This attitude gets transferred from them to their kids and grand kids and so on, such that each generation of these young women grow up with the idea that every time they are making love they ought to feel guilty about it. This mystifying of the subject is harmful for a lot of reasons.

For starters it gives us a lifelong baggage of guilt, every time we think about sex. Every time we fantasize or our hands itch to masturbate we feel like a criminal. The constant feeling that sex is wrong or dirty leads to a negative self-image as a person. That misinformation means that when we are in the act it can be hard to enjoy it, leading to severe sexual frustration, not a feeling you'd like to carry around with you.
Ladies this discussion might go on and on, because of the trouble to face the fact that we like getting laid. All this has a very easy solution. Get in to your sexiest lacy underwear, devote tonight to unleashing the temptress in you and for once really, really enjoy it without any hang-ups.

Bar advice.You will like the results tomorrow morning.Of course pick the man you really want.

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