Sunday, September 23, 2007

Breaking the silence in conversation

We all may have had this happen to us once before or for some, still. You happen to see a girl or guy at and you know he or she likes you but when you finally come close and say your quick hello, the conversation dies. There's a wall of silence that some how pops up. Thoughts race in your minds like what to say next. Does that person like me? There's nothing being said he/she must think I'm a complete idiot.

Things like this happen so what can we do about it? Here are a couple of tips to keep handy. My advice is to store some knowledge about things that they show in National Geographic, Discover Channel or Lonely Planet. There's a host of subjects that you can talk about and you can keep yourself well informed about interesting subjects. Start off by asking where the person has traveled before or went on holiday. What was the culture like? Where will they like to visit next? This may lead to you discussing about making plans on going there together.

Simple one is movies. Lots of people watch them so it's a no brainer that you got lots to talk about. Find out if the person likes comedies, romance, period dramas or whatever the fancy is. Discuss your favourites. Which stars do they like? Also move to TV shows as lots of people have likes and dislikes of certain shows. If you want to talk about music that could be good as well because there's lots of entertainers to talk about. See how the conversation gets moving. As it continues it will feel more pleasant. Just remember to give the other a chance to talk so as well.

Another one you can talk about is festive days. Ask what they did last Christmas or what their New Year's resolution was. This generally leads to why they did or made the resolution at the end of that year. It normally is because they year may have been bad and they wanted to change things. Most people are glad to just purge themselves so they are willing to bring up all the stuff that they dislike and off load it to any listening person. Let them do most of the talking. you'll find that you just became their 'best friend' when you become a sympathetic listener to them.

Remember one thing as you get further into conversation. Your main interest was getting to know the person better so as conversation deepens you must also add the attraction factor into it. Underline your conversations, from time to time, with sublime suggestions. By this I mean that your main thoughts should be to add to the attraction of the person and getting him or her to be more interested in you. Where possible add suggestions about going somewhere together. Maybe a holiday, watching a movie or getting a couples massage spa treatment. If you can reach that last one, you've scored big.

Don't get me wrong. Those are just suggestions that will help out but there's lots of other stuff you can use. The main thing is to keep handy some of these so the silence won't be visible and you don't look or feel like a complete idiot. Please don't go researching on topics like lymphatic nodes disorders to make yourself sound wiser. The silence will definitely be worse and you can hear a pin drop after because the other person won't have a clue how to respond to you. Your voice will be the only thing you'll hear and you would have forced the silence into the other person. Don't make the other person seem stupid. The point is to talk about things that are more common and the conversation flow will be a two way street.

Bar advice. The silence can be broken if you just open your mouth and if you got a whole bag of topics to discuss.

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