Sunday, July 1, 2007

Cherished or cheated.

I know that it's not as often that women cheat as opposed to guys doing it but this one I write is meant for the women to be aware. So often women settle for less. They think that “knights” are found in fairy tales, or they buy into the too-many-women-too-few-men ratio hype. Many don’t even hold guys to chivalrous standards any more, accepting what comes their way is as a reflection of the changing times.

In essence, they're cheating themselves.

Life is indeed bittersweet. There are so many variables that can’t be controlled. The loss of a loved one, illnesses, violent crimes, a son or daughter who chooses the wrong path, the boss from hell, and economic upheaval, to name a few.

The “choice” of a loving, giving mate helps to cushion the blows of life and weather its many storms. It makes people stronger. It nurtures the spirit and helps to fulfill our divine roles. Women are the backbones of society! They give life. They create homes, raise families, run offices and support dreams but you really can’t give from an empty cup!

The bottom line is this. If you’re not being cherished, you’re being cheated. So if you’re in a relationship that’s wreaking havoc with your sense of peace and your self-worth, repeat after me. “I can do better.” Add this mantra to your daily affirmations and move forward! Whoever the guy is or whatever time period you've been with him, trust me, you're heading for disaster.

But first take note of how a “cherished” woman is treated...

1) If a man cherishes you, he won’t compare you to Halle Berry, or Jennifer Lopez, or his mom. He will accept you for your good and bad, and love the things that make you uniquely you.

2) He will be committed to making the relationship work. He will honor your feelings and value your thoughts. He will compromise on issues of importance so that both of your needs are fulfilled.

3) HE will support your dreams and encourage you during times of failure. He’ll take a personal interest in what you do. He doesn’t necessarily have to share your vision, but he’ll cheer you on to victory just the same.

4) When a man cherishes you, you won’t have to track him down or do headstands to get his attention and to get him to spend quality time with you. The desire to be together is mutual, and he’ll move mountains to make it happen.

5) He won’t betray your trust or reveal your secrets. Period!

6) When a man cherishes you, he won’t keep an emotional score card of what he does for you and how often. He considers it a pleasure to do things that brings his woman pleasure.

7) He won’t flee at the first sign of trouble or tragedy. That should also apply to the fact that you screwed up and got pregnant and now a baby is on the way.

If you're in a relationship in which you are truly “cherished", most importantly, that you cherish yourself first! Most women let the guy take over so hurt, pain, betrayal, cheating and even abuse becomes accepted by her. If you give in to this from the very start then you're heading down the road of "doom". I know some will take back the guy and give him a second chance.Fair enough that your soft heart tells you to do so after all his pleas and if he changes, great. If not then live with it.

Bar advice. Learn to cherish yourself and make him understand it by showing him the way first. You won't go wrong by example. If he screws up he'll have nothing to say.

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