Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Being unsure

Recently I had this girl, Mindy(not real name), come to the bar. She works nearby in a restaurant at the same area. She's been to the bar several times already. Firstly coming with a colleague but now with a new boyfriend.

As we got to talking about different things, she looked troubled so I queried her as to what was wrong. It turned out to be a little bit of a relationship issue. It wasn't so much of things going bad but she added that it was partly due to her own character flaws that added fuel to the fire. I recently checked her Pig/Capricorn zodiac signs and found this about her.

This mix creates a being of infinite talent and aspirations to match. The sky is the limit. Capricorn/Pigs never see themselves as less than monstrously famous and hugely wealthy. These folks are grandeur specialists, whose personal goals of cosmic proportions don't stand in the way of their equally epic egos. There is, in the Capricorn/Pig makeup, a certain refreshing purity of desire. No Capricorn/Pig ever underestimates him or herself. Some claim that such a clearheaded attitude toward blatant self-seeking ambition is healthy. This person undertakes vast artistic projects and gives generously to cultural institutions. The Capricorn/Pig is a faithful and passionate lover. But he or she is also a smothering one. Possessive is a mild word to describe how they cling to the object of their desire. Scenes. Rows. Rages. Fits. They don't get angry often, but when they do, run for your life.

Looking at this tells me that it may be a problem of wanting to be with the person so much and clinging on that the partner feels there's no room to breath. What's the normal reaction of someone drowning and trying to get to the surface for air? After the feeling of relief from the fresh air, they want to get the hell out of the water as quick as possible. The trouble free feeling sets in and they're glad that it's all over. The fact that she may from time to time have a row or be angry with the other and often in public, can be a real put off for anyone.

As the conversation deepen we went into the topic about her sex life, which she initially did not want to comment, and asked if they were doing anything. She laughed and told me no. Just some kissing, touching and petting. She did not want to awnser me when I asked if she was still a virgin. Telling me that it was personal. That may be true but I found that she seemed very naive and at times could be gullible to things that people tell her or to things that she doesn't know about. When I first met her she was wearing braces and at the age of twenty five seem to make her look like a kid. Now with this new guy, the braces are off and she's doing herself up more that shows her feminine side even more.

I look at it as a girl evolving into a woman. Not quite there yet. She is petite but pretty. Looking for love. Wanting to have carear, a man, parents approval, good friends, money, security, joy, fulfillment and so on. Basically he world. Who doesn't? The thing is we must not be naive to the world around us or be gullible when people tell us things because we are not exposed enough. Nobody wants to be alone. If you're willing to settle for less than what you deserve then accept all the flaws that you have and the person you're with. If you want more of everything then be willing to accept that your partner is not perfect. You can't always get what you want and the world doesn't work the way that we all want. In short, we're only human.

I hope that she comes around to see me again. I really do like her. I want to help her and in fact told her to read this blog to get some insights about relationships or source out the info elsewhere. I look at this young, petite, pretty and sweet girl and think that any guy would be lucky to have her, yet, she may end up being her worse enemy by not being able to change and adapt herself to others, surroundings, and her relationships.

Bar advice. Some people need others to tell them things about themselves that they don't see about themselves. Seeing you own shortcomings or discussing them can be intimidating but being open to help from friends improves things.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Anytime for as long as you want


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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Male erections

The other day I happen to pick up a magazine and was reading some articles about bars and such when I came across this section on questions from readers. The questions can be about anything really. From health issues to bars, women, men, dogs, dresses to whatever comes to mind. The 'genius' writer seems to answer them all.

It just so happen that a reader sent in a question about her boyfriend's erection. She asked why it happened when he was asleep and is it due to him possibly having wet dreams or something. To me it seemed that she may have been a much younger lady or just naive to these things till now. Anyway, the guy wrote about it and I'm going write some of the details that he wrote and add my own comments to it as well.

Basically a normal healthy male will have a few full erections during the course of the night. Blood circulates throughout the body and the penis, which is pure muscle, gets it's fair share thus the involuntary erection happen. The man is unaware of this unless he wakes up and feels it stiffness. There is more scientific explanations for it but that's the simple design layout of what takes place.

The column writer called it his 'morning glory'. I thought it made sense to call it that since it normally happens in the morning and you could say that it's a glorious part of the male anatomy. Also that may just be the hardest erection of the day.

If you're a young woman and want to know what in the world to do when this occurs, well, nothing. If a guy wakes up it will eventually subside down and he'll probably go take a piss but if he does it while it's still hard then you got some cleaning to do in the toilet because it's going to be all over the floor and walls. It's not that he can't aim well. It's just that the muscles will start to expand and contract while he's taking the piss so for a while he's lost control of his penis function and it becomes a nightmare.

If you're in love and when you see that his 'morning glory' is in full bloom. Take advantage of it. He's sleeping. Take it and place it inside you. If you weren't sure that he was having a wet dream, he'll be having one then. From a male stand point I'll tell you that you would be giving him a gift if you did that. Guys are horny at the moment they wake up because of this really hard erection. It gets that way because of the blood circulation as explained earlier and it activates the mind sexually as well because the penis endings makes that sensation flow to the brain. Their minds start to think of lustful thoughts because of the erection and if you're there they won't hesitate to get into action. If you get on top of him just be gentle as his bladder is still full so discomfort will be the feeling rather then pleasure.

Ladies, there's nothing to be shy about. I even heard that women have some sort of tingaling sensation in the mornings at their clitoris. This is not clear to me and only the females can confirm this. I got the morning news sent to you here about men and that's all I'm qualified to talk about. Just in case there's some of you out there that don't see your man having the 'morning glory' or any erection at all, guess what? He's probably got what we call penis erectile dysfunction. Sorry to say that this may not just be medical or physical but is sometimes psychological in nature that makes this come(or not cum)about. Seek medical advice.

If you want to have a happy sex life. Don't meddle with what's happening in his head when he's sleeping but rather take the head of his 'morning glory' to meddle with to wake him up. Trust me, if you want to have some of the best sex in your life than these are the things to consider and work on. He'll also be continously turned on and the two of you won't stop finding new ways to please each other.

Bar advice. The saying goes "make hay while the sun shines" and if you find a 'morning glory', all the better to start the day.

Touching someone

Last Saturday Kat messaged me on my cell phone because she thought I was not opening the bar. Actually I opened late a little and she came up to see me. I was setting up the tables when she arrived. She sat there and started smoking. Just as I turned to ask her a question she lit another cigarette using the end of the first one before stubbing it out.

She must have missed smoking for a week and the fact that she would be going to her salsa classes probably made her smoke more. Where she sat had only two chairs. She sat on one and placed her bag on the other. When I joined her she was going to move the bag but I told her that I'd get another chair. The reason was that I could sit nearer and next to her. She smiled as I sat next to her. It was obvious that she knew that I knew that she knew what I was doing. It's called making a 'move'.

Even for someone like my self, touching someone is hard sometimes. The whole animal instinct of guys starts to emerge and women sense the tension that both people have. Don't get me wrong, we haven't done anything but, I do think that we like each other and we are comfortable chatting about anything. Touching just adds to the comfort zone. What's wrong with it? Absolutely nothing. I still got to remember that she's my customer although now a friend as well.

I sat next to her for sometime admiring her figure and of course her 'hot ass' as I called it because she sometimes wear these body hugging outfits for classes and being tight, every detail is revealed. So shoot me. After all I'm a guy. We sometimes ogle at the beautiful form of women. What's wrong with that. She knows she has it and women have to flaunt it proudly especially when gravity hasn't applied it's force on the form as yet.

She needed a lighter to smoke some more and so I got it but I put my arm around her and lit it. The fact that she didn't mind made me feel at ease. If she had said something or told me she was uncomfortable with it then we would have an invisible wall of stress between us from that point onwards. Luckily, that was not the case. I did, however, stop sitting next to her and I even told her that I felt too tempted to do something so I was taking away the seat next to her. I guess it was better not to move too fast as well.

We continued our conversation about her living on her own and her balcony space that she has. Also about the room mates that lives with her. Students from China so conversations are pretty much non existent except when she needs a condom in the middle of the night and had to ask one of them there. She said that when she asked for the condom the guy didn't understand her. Thoughts of getting his penis out and demonstrating the procedure of putting it on went through her mind but she suddenly remembered to say the words, "Sex", to him which brought the latex product out of the drawer. If a girl came up to me and said those word in the middle of the night, irregardless of what language we spoke, I would have had my clothes off in two seconds. What was that guy thinking?

Now I remember. She said he may be gay. Well, his loss. Now all I got to do is figure out who the condom was for. Actually, our conversations are rugged, mature and open to everything. So far.

I really do enjoy my meetings with her and although it's for brief periods, she never fails to put a smile on my face. Great gal but I feel she still searching for something in life that even she can't understand or see in herself as yet. It seems that we both need this little interlude of meetings to stray to some adolescent contact to cut out the world for a while. I hope that she thinks like this as well and touching will just have to slowly take it course.

Bar advice. Some moves should never be done too quickly. Take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with the other. Touching the others mind and heart comes first. It will happen when it happens.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Times of frustration

Last Wednesday Kat dropped by and when I got her a ash tray she said she wasn't going to smoke because she had a cough for the whole week. She didn't come by on the previous Saturday and she said it was because she wasn't well.

Then I asked what she did with her time and she basically spelt out that she was in bed, didn't feel good and lots of people calling her and bugging the heck out of her. She said friends were calling her to go out for a meal, for a date, for drinks and so on but she was not in the mood and all these people were frustrating her.

It seems that when we are ill every little thing becomes a problem or a frustration to the point that we isolate ourselves away and not want to talk or do anything or even see anyone till we're back in circulation. If you're a smoker, the tendency to get frustrated becomes stronger because irritation to the throat gets worse but smokers need their 'fix' so to speak. Tempers can also rise when you get some moron calling you up and starts wining about their insecurities or people wanting to meet up but they don't have a clue that all you want to do is hibernate till hell freezes over then emerge from sleep, well and ready to face the world again.

All said and done, she was feeling better and had a nice brave smile on her face in spite the fact that she was still a little weak. I was watching her from the top of the bar and only noticed her because I was actually checking out a beauty in a red dress that passed her on the street. She said she knew I was looking at her and commented about the way she was moving her hips and ass a little more than usual because she was with a guy. I guess it's a girl thing to notice this sort of stuff.

She had to go for her classes and picked up her bag and started walking off. I asked her to move her ass a little like the girl in the red dress and got a quick "No" to it. I asked one more time. She then jokingly said "don't frustrate me" and walked down the stairs.

This hot prawn is really fun and I'll write about Saturdays incident later.

Bar advice. If someone can still be in the mood to come see you even if they're not fully recovered form being ill, must be a special person. What sort of person are you?

Monday, May 14, 2007

Sexual peaks

The fact is that men and women don't reach sexual peaks at the same time of their lives. Here I'll give you the best of what I assume happens to both men and women at different ages and stages of their lives.

On one hand guys can start to be active by sixteen and so can the girls. Some even earlier. Parents in this day and age have no clue as to what their children do. Sure it's all hush hush but when they are out of sight and you are out of mind. Sex is something exciting to them because it's taboo. Most of them would have had some form of sexual encounter already. It could be heavy petting, masturbation, oral sex with some already doing it fully.

Most guys reach their sexual peak between 18 to 24 yeras old. This is the time that they have the most energy, are seeking for it and can go about it all night long. Women at this age are a little awkward because they are in search of slightly different things. They want the whole package. Relationship, love and commitment is their agenda. This is because they have not peaked as yet and having a horny boy makes them feel good but they know what that boy is after. A lot of them do have sex as well but they were actually better when they were younger at age.

Women peak sexually at the age of 32 to 38 years old. Lot's of times guys don't understand why she seems to be in 'heat'. Biologically, her clock is speeding up a little because even if she doesn't know it, that this is the last chance to be pregnant and her body is sending weird signals to her brain. It's not only to her partner that she seeks a sexual feel but even people from work, during commute to work even strangers that give her the eye. She tends to feel that she needs all this extra attention before all her looks and body shape gets changed forever.

Most women will be either going to get their hair, nails or face done. Even if they never used Botox, they may try it. Some go to the extreme of plastic surgery to get lifts especially the breast area. They seem to be running a race against time. The attention of some younger men also perks their playful and sexual thoughts. They don't really understand it themselves but they seem to enjoy it even to the point that some become hostile towards their partners at home because at the back of their minds he will always be there but they belive time is running out but for what, even they can't figure it out.

Lot's of women these days go online to dating and sexual sites. Not that they are going to leave their partners but to just flirt and get response from men to their profiles. Some have no problems writing down that they are married. This safeguard is there but they know that men will still engage them if it's out there. There are some sites that has them in their underware, topless or even naked but face covered. they actaul paste their pictures on it. Why that? It just adds to the excitment that they are letting every man eye their body and normally the profile write up is just as exciting. If responses do come they play it by ear. It rarely becomes a real date or sexual encounter but sadly sometimes it may happen. Most of them also know that they can leave the site and remove all pictures anytime so the safety of not getting caught is there.

Guys that do the online surfing of women are really just doing that. The fact is that if they got just one girl that may correspond with them, they will not bother to get a second or third. This is because they know that they have a partner at home and they just want to flirt every once in a while and not get caught. Men are also out of it once their sexual peak is over. They worry more about work and family than other women. Hence, some women's need for male attractive glances because the workaholic partner is too dumb to understand her position and needs.

On the other hand. Women are 'set' by the time they pass their main sexual peak or just a little further till the point of menopause. However, men start to rekindle thier radars. Somehow they seem to have back up fuel that reignites into fire when they reach 55 to 60 years old. It's not about the sex really but the advances of younger women flirting with them is enough for them to start reaching for the oxygen tank yet they carry on in their own way. Men will try to make themselves seem younger in public but when he gets home he acts like he needs to be rushed to the emegency ward. Why? Well it's a throw off so his partner isn't suspicious. Although nothing is happening he's not going to let it explode into a war. His peace is at home. If he feels there may be danger he'll end it quickly.

All this going on will be oblivious to both sides but sometimes it gets strayed and divorce can become the reality they face. Nobody wants that to happen but it could. In our human nature and sense of wanting to be sexually attractive and young we loose the goal. What's that you ask? We only need to be all thses things for our partner and ourselves to be happy. Loosing track of this may put us in a awkward position and we may loose all that we have with our patners. We are human and we all have needs that our minds and bodies can't seem to work out for us. It's all left to what the heart knows is right.

Bar advice. If you took time to learn about what your partner, male and female, is all about and you put them above all others then you won't need anyone or anything else to satisfy yourself.

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Bar advice. People that are just starting marriage or those having some form of problems after long period of marriage can use this for really good help with family and relationship help.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Family traditions.


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Each family , big or small, loud or quiet, has its own traditions that are followed more or less unchanged for a long period of time. Keeping these family traditions alive is not only the responsibility of the parents, but also the grandparents, the uncles and aunts, the family friends and in most cases the responsibility of children.

Whether you consider a family tradition to be the annual family vacations to that special place you visit every year, Christmas presents and birthday parties, mothers day or fathers day, the fact remains that families come closer and share the memories of past rituals performed to honor everyone.

When children are still young, so too are parents, family traditions seem to be more sentimental and involve a lot of playing around. As kids get older and parents as well, families try to keep their traditions alive by reaching mutual agreements among the family members. The son that wants to go to a football match and escape the tradition of having to sit down, like every other Sunday, with his whole ten-member family for dinner, can cause some trouble when allowed not to be present often. Keeping the tradition is thus not only the responsibility of the parents in a family, as people seem to believe, but also that of children who will at some point create their own traditions and strive to keep them alive in their own families. Understanding the importance of spending those precious moments with your parents or with your children, will lead you to cherish the instances you had a chance to speak through your actions.

Kids move to higher education and it may take them far from home so traditions fall apart. Some deny this fact by supporting that exactly because children spend less time with their folks they feel the need to do so and use those family traditions as an excuse to visit the house they grew up in. Whichever the case may be, the fact remains that families need those times together and family bonds do develop. Although in many cases these are greatly different from the past, bonds exist because of the family traditions still exist.

Thus, it is imperative for a family to find the right time in order to celebrate the fact that family is what you love most in the world. As a kid your family was the world you knew. As an adult, your family is the world you feel safe in.

Cherish and keep these family traditions alive by doing what you used to do as a kid. Remember and if you are given the chance help your mother bake cookies, wrap presents and put them under the Christmas tree, set up the mother's day dinner, buy the cake your brother or sister will blow the birthday candles on. Do whatever it takes. These are some of the most precious moments you can share with your beloved ones. Do not forget or let them vanish. Time is precious in life. Sometimes tragedies happen and we never get to talk or tell the people we love how we feel about them.

Bar advice. Family traditions get passed on to other generations. If you're using some your parents had, then great. If not, make new ones. Families bond better.