Showing posts with label social network. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social network. Show all posts

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Social Network Sites

I am really thrown back at some of the people that join the social network sites, especially the women. I've seen on several sites, including Facebook, Hi 5, Tagged, My Space, Friendster and more, where they use the phrase "in a relationship" for their status. Some are provided as options on the site and some are typed in. Either way, it is loosely used.

Now why place that there and then start flirting with everyone? Some women even add sexy photos of themselves. Guys add photos of their body tattoos or abs and such. The fact that they state they are already in a relationship, and most probably are, then do everything that would piss off the person they are involved with who will be looking at their page as well, is just mind blowing. Best part, some encourage their partners by supporting the behaiviour as long as the status shows they are involved with someone.

Now a lot of conversations are posted on the sites for everyone to read, except personal messages of course, and when someone adds their view or states something inappropriate or just doesn't seem to fit into the other persons social circle; all hell can break loose. It seems everyone will jump on board to help criticize or pound the offender into the ground.

An example I saw would be where a girl uploaded a few photos of herself in a bikini. She looked great and her best "asset" was her fabulous breast and the cleavage. Now of course you'll get a few friends comment on them and that includes strangers that make semi decent ones as well. The thread was pretty long as she had a lot of friends(with assets like that who wouldn't), however, when one guy added a remark that he wish he could "bang" her, it became ugly. Suddenly one guy after another started to mention the guy's comment was inappropriate, not a nice thing to say, was an asshole, this and that. I'm sure you get the point.

Same thing similar happened also with a guy posting a pic of himself and comments that came in were good and bad. In his case other guys stated things like how he thought he was handsome, he was trying to attract another man's girlfriend and had no real substance and vulgarity became part of the whole thing. Even some girls added dislike to the guy and viciously voiced it in their comments. Oddly, a lot of them just weren't really interested in the string of comments but just threw their two cents worth to condemn the person.

Now the way I look at this is, firstly, it happens more so to singles that actual married people. So that tells me there are people looking for others and really trying to connect. Of course you have your perverts and hookers trying to see who, if they can, capitalize on any action. You also get some, actually plenty, of fake profiles but that doesn't stop them from making comments if they fancy or dislike someone. It seems people will say some weird stuff sometimes. Some want the attention and welcome everything and everybody just so they have a pile of friends that in real life falls short of how people truly perceive them.

I'm sure you've also seen things like this if you're in any of the social networks. Maybe you're one of the free for all condemning players as well. I think some guys tend to come to the "rescue" of the girls due to their own plan of trying to be Mr. Nice guy in the hopes of gaining favour in her eyes. They believe she will respond to them in a closer way, at least online for the start, and other possibilities in future. They also want other girls to see that they are a better person than others. This of course is the false front in their feeble attempt to become the "hero" in a situation where they are seen in a good light by everyone especially the girls.


Women also do this similarly but they are not as aggressive in their attempt but the ones that are not so good looking tend to make bolder statements in an attempt to shine more light on their intellect, conversational skills and trying to be more interesting so they can throw the guys scent off how their looks. In reality they are looking but modesty holds them back from really saying that the guy online is someone they will jump in the sack with, irregardless of their relationship status, but they can't and won't. Just leaving the thoughts of possibilities.

A lot of quarrels, squabbles and major break ups happen because of all this and everyone sees online and wants to be part of it, even if they make the problem happen in the first place. A lot of people are really to blame for the problem starting in the first place as a lot of them like the comments being made about themselves in photos and the flirting that takes place even though they know they are attached. Funny thing is, especially a for lot of girls when they do break up, will fully announce they are back looking, are free and available, back in the game, ready for a new beginning, on a fresh outlook at life and any other line they can think of to publicize their newly derived single status. Basically, they want the chase to begin again. Some sites, like Facebook, actually help make the announcement when you change anything on the page and that includes you status.

Bar Advice. Overall all these sites draw the good and the bad that happens in people's personal lives ......and we let it.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Getting her alone

When in any social setting such as a club or bar, you'll want to separate the girl you like from her friends. Once she's separated from her friends, it's just a matter of building a bond and connection with her but how many times have you had a woman pulled away from you in a club by one of these friends? How many times have her friends interrupted your conversation and pulled her away with the "we're going to the bathroom" routine? How many times have you seen a friend barge in between and say,"She's my girlfriend", and leaves with the woman you want?

How many times have your intentions been thwarted by the dreaded,"My friends want to leave?" and the last thing you see is her looking back at you with a face that says, "Sorry! I like you but I have no choice but to leave!" You see, women are not as in control of their lives as you might think. Women, especially beautiful women, rely on their social network of friends and family to protect, comfort, and support them. They seek advise on all matters when in doubt. A woman's social network of people she's with is a influence on her, even if it limits her choices in terms of who she can date, have sex with, or even talk to. On top of that, beautiful women hardly go out alone. They tend to go out in groups of two or three to prevent each other from the constant and never ending onslaught of guys trying to get into their pants thus removing her from her friends is a must.

The irony is that if you approach women, they say their looking for a guy to meet. However, the social dynamics of her peer group control her choices. So how do you take a woman away from her friends so that you can bond and connect with her? After all, you can't just steal her. The problem is two fold. Her friends and her. Her friends might become jealous of all the attention she gets from you. They may be protecting her from being hurt after her last relationship issues. They might be possessive of her. They might be dealing with their own issues with guys that may have hurt them in the past. They may have lesbian desires that even the woman doesn't know about. Whatever the case is with her friends, understand that they're often in protection mode. Protecting the woman you desire from winding up with the wrong kind of guy, again possibly.

On the other hand, she's all caught up in thinking,"What do my friends think?". "What will they say if they see me with him?". "What if they think I'm a slut!?". You can neutralize these issues by including her friends in the conversation and getting them to like you. Start off with more coversation with them. Don't be afraid to ignore the girl you like a little and pay more attention to entertaining and getting along with her friends. This alone will both satisfy the friends desire for attention that they hardly get because their pretty friend is usually the one in the spotlight and also increase her liking you by getting her a little jealous of her friends taking some of the attention away.

Use stories, techniques, and routines to come across as successful, intelligent, fun and a nice guy to her friends. If her friends think you're a cool guy, they will not stand in your way when you want to spend some time with the girl you like alone. They are, without even realizing it, giving you their acceptance, approval, and permission. Unknowingly but willingly. Sometimes, her friends will even do the hooking up for you. They'll start telling you all about her. The woman you're seducing will see her friends now like you, so her normal thought pattern change to thoughts like, "I want to be associated with a successful, intelligent,and funny guy like him". "Look how my friends pay attention to him, laugh with him, and like him". "I better take him away from them before they get any ideas". "He's mine!"

See the difference it makes when you make her friends comfortable? Now you can safely get her friends permission to talk with her privately without worry about being cock blocked. Say to the girl's friends, "Hey, we seem to get along pretty well, do you guys mind if we go over there to talk?" They'll all agree and even urge her. Now bring her to a quiet corner and sit down with her alone. Now you can relax, lay back, and concentrate on getting to know the girl more intimately. Importantly, this time you used the power of her friend's influence over her to further your goals. There's no need to waste anymore time starving in the dating wasteland.

Bar advice. It may get a bit tricky with men friends around than with all women friends but it can still work provided there's no other guy that's interested in her or they're trying but not succeeding.