Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Monday, July 30, 2012

Olympics Gold Medal Event - Sex

Olympics Gold Medal Event - Sex
The Olympics gold medal event is a daily occurrence we see in the 16 days of glory when an athlete is on top form, performs well and is at peak. Yes, we love to see a winner and so do the athletes themselves. With all that toned, firm and sexy looking babes and hunks in the Olympic village, its a wonder anyone gets any sleep. It seems there is lots of sex at the Olympic village.

Every time 10000 athletes are placed in the village and it becomes a party zone like Las Vegas. Even former swim star Susan Summers said "What happens in the village, stays in the village". Can you really blame them? After all, throw a party with beautiful, young, and in this case healthy, energetic people in one place and you are bound to attract someones eye or whatever body part you prefer.

This year in particular, unprecedented, all nations have female athletes sent to the games. This wasn't the case before especially from Muslim nations but this year everyone's included. So its truly a mash of every guy or girl from every nation looking at everyone in one single place. So now the Olympic village sex London party is in full gear

So how did all this news about Olympic village sex come about?  Well it seems that stories have arisen from past Olympians and the athletes spill details of dirty secrets of Olympic village that happened. What's that? Yes, one on one sexual encounters and even orgies have been mentioned. In fact, thousands of free condoms will be available. Organizers have heard enough about village antics from previous games to know there will be heavy demand by athletes for contraception.

With so many beautiful people in one spot, can you blame them? In the end its memories of a lifetime and everyone is human. Most have never even stepped out of their own countries, let alone seen people of different races or culture up close and personal. It's going to be memorable this summer games.

Bar Advice. Stronger, Higher, Faster may mean different things to some. LOL.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Advice We Get About Our Relationship

I've seen so many situations where a relationship between two people have been jeopardized by other people like family members, friends, colleagues, etc. These people, may at times be genuinely concerned but on numerous occasions they are not.

The Advice We Get  About Our Relationship can occasionally be damaging. Sometimes our best friends say bad things about the person we are with because they may have feelings of loss of your friendship or feel like someone splitting up a good team between you two. There is also, at times, jealousy involved where a friend just can't find a partner and if you are involved with someone they advise you that the person you're with isn't right for you. Some may even spread rumors or lies in hopes of breaking you up.

Office colleagues working together have a tendency to have an office romance or even sexual encounters where it is a mutual understanding, including affairs with married people. However, if someone gets attached and is in a relationship suddenly the whole dynamics change. Where a sexual friendship is suddenly interrupted, people have feelings stirred to the surface that they didn't realize was alive. This could also be anything as low key as daily flirting in the office and not actually having sex with that person but it remains the same feeling.

Being deprived access to someone because a third party has stepped in could drive some people to do ugly things and sure enough they provide all sorts of warnings and bad advice to place terror into the mind in hopes that they can invoke a break up so things can go back as it was and they look the hero.

In certain circumstances the advice about your new relationship may come from a colleague of the same gender and gives you negative remarks about the person you're with because they have a hidden agenda. In certain cases, they may be gay and attracted to you in secret so they advise you about relationship horror stories hoping you don't remain hitched and they may still have a shot even if you're not gay. Doesn't matter if you're male or female. They probably are hoping for the best or fearing the worst if you find out about their desire or orientation and that's why they do it.

On the home front, you may have to deal with older sisters or brothers and if they are married, its worse. They believe they are fit to be your adviser on matters of the heart because their monotonous life works! So, in their head, they are fit to advise you on your choice of partner and relationship matters even though the lack of romance or sex in their own relationship is up for debate.

Advice We Get  About Our Relationship
Parents on the other hand is a little tricky. They may have your best interest at heart but most of the time we never listen to them. Do we? Some mothers are concern we make an impulsive choice or be lured away by an unscrupulous person that will bring heartache and sadness. However, mom's advice although sound, is hardly in our minds when we make choices of the heart. I guess the dreaded idea of bringing home that special someone only to have a disapproving argument later on our choice is enough for anyone to have a heart attack. Just like in the movies.

Don't get too discouraged. Not all advice is bad. There are many friends and colleagues that will be happy for you, tease you along and even help you when needed. Parents too, especially mom, will be your biggest supporter and helpful adviser. So its not all doom and gloom even though there is a lot of bad advice coming from people who you should stay far away from.

Bar Advice. It boils down to your choice. No one else. Just be aware what advice you're getting, who and why they're giving it to you.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Pause

I guess we all need a break so I'm in pause mode for now. Got some stuff to do, work to concentrate on and business to take care off. Will be back with more relationship issues, more advice and , YES!, more sex stuff to be included. Later!!

Bar advice. Wake up before it's too late!!


P.S. Use this travel site if you want to best Asian destination travel like me.

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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Tantra | Being Sensual In The Bedroom

In our results oriented world, we sometimes forget to stop and smell the roses as the old saying goes. Unfortunately our impatience with the world has even seeped into the bedroom. There's nothing wrong with a quickie, every now and then, however, a steady diet of superficial sex is bound to keep true intimacy at bay. Sex, according to those who follow the ancient practice of Tantra, is not just about reaching a climax, it can be a deeply sensual and spiritual act even without a climax. Go figure!

Exploring some of the basic elements of the heart of Tantric sex (sex that is done with your eyes open) with your partner, involves breathing together, being fully present in the moment, and basically just taking your time. Its regular practice can lead to better lovemaking, enhanced sexual communication and happier endings. Here's how it works.

Self love
A healthy dose of self respect in both partners is essential to the success of Tantra. You must feel whole and complete on your own. Once you are comfortable in your own skin (and soul) and are ready to share yourself with another, you can experience the highest level of intimacy imaginable. Do you feel resolved of your biggest issues? Are you at peace with yourself. If so, read on...

Communication
To achieve true intimacy in the bedroom, you must trust one another. The more you open up to each other in a healthy way, the more intimate you become. It may be scary at times to be so vulnerable but to achieve the "high sex" of Tantra, a high level of trust, communication and intimacy is essential. A way to achieve this is to talk to each other about your fears and desires. Remain open and understanding as you share without placing blame or judgment on each other. Doing this in the privacy of your own bedroom is the perfect setting. Singing star Sting practices this with his wife.

Ritual
You may not be vacationing in the Bali but you can still create an atmosphere that is romantic and erotic. To create ambiance, burn some incense or essential oil candles, throw pillows and blankets (in elegant fabrics) around the room or dress in silk or other tasteful lingerie. You can opt to be naked if you like. Bring your lover small tokens of your affection. A favorite flower or an old photo that reminds you of a wonderful day together. This is part of the ritual of lovemaking, according to Tantra. It's a time to relax and unwind and lose all inhibition.

Ecstasy
Learn to love your partner with your eyes, breath and touch. Truly embrace the give and take of the moment in each others presence. Breath in deeply and smell your lover. Gently stroke the inside of their arm or any other spot they find arousing. Take your time by holding off intercourse until you are highly aroused. Make it last as long as you can.

Exercise
Try this simple Tantra yogic exercise. Sit face to face, naked, with your eyes open (make sure the room is warm enough). Next, embrace each other paying close attention to each others breath until you are breathing as one. Stay this way for at least a minute or more. Eventually, pull away just enough to look into each others eyes. It sounds so simple, but don't worry if you find yourself shying away or giggling before you are able to lock eyes and take each other in fully.

Next, take time caressing each other but not in the obvious places. Massage his thighs coming close but still not touching. Caress her calves and stomach. As you slowly delve into making love, the key is to take your time and not rush to climax. By using controlled breathing and switching positions when you feel close to orgasm, you can last for hours. By practicing Tantra, when you do climax it will be a vibrational energy that resonates throughout your whole body and soul creating a true spiritual experience. This is a wonderful way to become closer than ever before to your beloved.

I've stressed this before. No one can "complete you". The movie Jerry McGuire with Tom Cruise throwing out that line was just that, a movie! The only person that can "complete you" is yourself! Once you have been able to experience this and your partner does as well, you'll find that both of you have more to give out to each other when you're being sensual in the bedroom. The energy of your Tantra practice will draw you both into each other and the sexual desires are heightened. The climax will then be explosive and you'll feel like you just ran a marathon but want to do it all over again.

Bar advice. If you're seeking help on sexuality and relationship advice, try this Tantra out. You both may just like it.


Thursday, February 7, 2008

Women love sex just as much as men do

Let me share some insights into the psychology and biology of women with you today. Insights that will really help you guys. The title almost says it all. Women love sex just as much as men do. I might have to convince you of this and explain how you guys can use it to your advantage.

You might find it hard to believe that women love sex as much as men do. If that were true, you might be asking why isn't it easier to get women to go to bed with you, right? If it were not for some elusive facts of biology, it really would be easy, but it's not. When women go up to men and say something along the lines of "Hi, I like you, would you like to sleep with me?" something like 99% of the men will say yes. However, when the roles were reversed, women will probably say no when men ask the same question. The reason is that women are essentially genetically programmed to be really picky about who they have sex with. It is all a supply and demand equation, because women only have a limited supply of chances to reproduce, most women can't have more than say ten children in their lives, and the act of childbirth could kill them too, so you can add 'evolved fear' into the low supply problem.

If that wasn't enough, there are a lot of social consequences that women have to deal with when they have sex with men. They can get labeled as sluts, whores, cheap or easy for having sex with more than one guy. By contrast, as men we can pretty much have hundreds of children if given the chance. Our "supply" of reproduction capability is just about limitless compared to that of women. Having sex with lots of women usually gets guys labeled as studs, top dog and so on, at least with male friends. So you put all this together and you can understand why women are picky and almost seem like they don't like or want sex as much as men do. In reality they do.

The main difference is that men want more partners(quantity), women want better 'quality' partners. OK, so you understand this now, lets really reinforce this idea that women like sex just as much as men do. This is also due to evolution. Both sexes are rewarded with lots of pleasure for sex, its one way that our genes have programmed us to help pass themselves along to the next generation. In fact, I would say that women can get more pleasure out of sex than men. I mean, come on, which sex can have more fun with a showerhead or vibrator? Also, which sex can have multiple, prolonged orgasms, and sometimes they just need another female to get this? These are all things I have witnessed personally in my life and as such I have no doubt that, done properly, sex causes more overall pleasure for women. Scientifically it also prolongs lifespans of people. Women especially.

Women want(keyword) sex just as much as men. So now that you have this fact in mind, how do you use it? The answer is simple, you constantly have the attitude in mind that women want sex just as much or more than men do and in every interaction that you have with them, you keep this in mind. (Please don't go thinking about it in a perverted manner.) Also, keep in mind that a women has to preserve her modesty. Her mother thought her to be a lady and not go with any boy because they just want one thing. We know what that is but actually she wants it too but she'll only give it to you if you are worthy of her. Sp you see, it is simple, but it has really powerful effects. It makes the balance of power more equal in all your interactions with women. Let's look at how this works.

I can remember when I didn't understand how much women love and want sex, and so I used to always think that I was trying to get them to do something they didn't want to do as much as I did. What happens when somebody wants something more than the other person? They are willing to go to much effort to get it. In the case of women, it gets worse if you act like this and put in too much effort, because they then assume on some level that you don't get much of it either(otherwise why would you be trying so hard?), and by extension that there must be some reason for that, like something is wrong with you on some level. Which makes them withhold sex from you more, which makes you try harder, which makes them withhold even more, and what you end up with is a permanent case of blue balls. When you take the frame one step further and understand and believe that women want and love sex more than men do, then you can amazingly flip the roles in the above situation.

Your actions indicate to her that you know she wants you more. You interpret her actions as her wanting you too much, and you pull away a bit. She sees this and thinks on a deeper level that you must have a lot of options with women, so she chases you a bit more, you retreat, she pursues harder, and you eventually succumb since that was your plan all along. Of course, there is a lot more to learn about exactly how to reverse this role with women, and it is a big part of what you need to understand about this method. The simple take away for today is that you need to understand and believe that women want sex as much or more than men do.

Be sure to never force the issue. Women are very delicate creatures and a lot of them need refined tenderness and thoughtfullness. I know of some women that can be a wild tigeress in bed but she puts on the facade of a pussycat to see wheather you are worthy of herself and why you are deserving to be with her. She wants it but she likes to tease and when she, and only she, is willing she'll let you have it.

Bar advice. I'm sure the women reading this will agree with me a huge amount but it's just help for some of the guys that "don't get it".

Monday, January 14, 2008

Playing the confession game

Playing this confession game can be between you and your partner. Does not matter what the gender or sexual preference is because both can answer the questions. It's a sort of truth or dare type game. however this is a lot more personal and it leads to arousal if played in the bedroom. It can also be played in a group if you're having that sort of fun. These were meant for the heterosexual singles. Feel free to add you own questions to the game.

Questions:
First time I heard about sex, I was...
My first experience with self stimulation was...
The farthest I have ever gone in a parked car was...
The thought of watching women in the nude makes me...
When someone tells me a dirty joke, it usually makes me...
The first time I had an orgasm or cum, I thought I was....
The sexiest person I ever shared a bed with was...
The worst thing I ever did to not make love was...
The excuse I most often hear for not making love is...
My favorite method of picking up someone is...
The most I have ever flirted with a colleague was...
I am dressed the hottest is when I am wearing...
If I ever surprised my partner in the act of self-stimulation, I would probably...
To describe my "sexual equipment" in one word it would have to be...
The thought of making love to two others at the same time really makes me...
To estimate how often I fantasize about making love to a stranger, would be...
If my friends all decided to skinny dip, I would probably...
If, on a first date the subject of birth control came up, I would...
If on a cruise and I discovered the passengers were nudists, I would probably....
If my brother/sister announced his homosexuality, I would probably...
If I saw my best friend moonlighting as a male/female stripper, I would probably...
The most exciting place I have ever made love was...
If opening a package addressed to my partner and contained sex toys, I would...
If someone much younger asked me to teach everything I know about sex, I would...
When it comes to making love on a water bed, my experience has been....
If my lover wanted to video tape our love-making, I would probably...
When it comes to making sensual noises during sex, I consider myself...
The one thing about sex that I wish I knew when I was younger is...
I would consider going to a nude beach if...
If I found my partner in bed with a member of the same sex I would probably...
The last person in the world I would make love to is...
My favourite sexual position is...
If I have a sexual fetish, it would have to be...
When it comes to making love on the first date, it has always been my policy to...
My experience with an obscene phone call was...
The time I thought I needed a sex therapist was...
The relative I would most like to have sex with, if we were not related, would be...
The thought of making love to a virgin makes me...
The sexual technique that I am weakest at is...
The sexual technique that I am best at is...
The part of my body that responds most to fondling is...
The part I most like to be touched at is...
What I like someone to do to me sexually but there not say is...
You would allow someone to see you making love secretly if...
I hate a tongue in/at my...
My ultimate fantasy about sex in a public place is...
The last sexual request I was asked was...
While making love I fantasize about...
I would make love with my colleague only if...
Last time someone tried to seduce me was...
The one thing I hate about sex is...
The thing I dislike about my partners sexual method is...
The position I prefer most when making love is...
I need sex a lot because I feel...
The one thing that my partner doesn't know about my secret fetish is...
The number of times I am physically capable of making love is...
The truth is I like sex a lot because of...

These are many examples of questions that you can add to the game. Place them in a hat and start pulling them out. There's no real right or wrong answers here. Just having fun and laughing at them will bring sexual stimulation. This can be played with your partner or a total stranger. The answers will be almost different with everyone. Try it.

Bar advice. Remember, if you're playing this the first time with your partner, take note of some of the answers because you can help make their needs, fantasies or desires come true. You'll be having the best time after that if you...

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Phone sex

Now this is quite common in many countries that have the payment method where people call in to listen to someone tell them some fatasy and it "get's them off" but when normal people have phone sex; well, it can become a disaster.

There's some of us that can pull it off but many are just not sure what to say or how to turn on someone else if their not in their presence. The phone is a great tool but what do you do when faced with the fact that now your partner is going to sense that you got no sexual imagination or fantasies. It is difficult for some to express something mentally rather than pshysically especially with sex. Not uncommon.


Bar advice. This may not be for everyone but it can highten the sexual relationship of people that are in anticipation of the next time they make love.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

2008 astrology zodiac forcast

Let's take a sneak peek at what may be in store for all you lovers out there. Is it going to be loveless or will you feel like flying.

Capricorn
Capricorn your love and sex life in 2008 is certainly going to be expansive. You are the celestial favorite all year long since Jupiter, the planet of luck and growth is in your sign providing extra special gifts and opportunities. Some of these will directly affect your love life as new people enter into your world, adding color and depth if you're single, and a favorable escalation period with that special someone if you're attached. Either way Capricorn, whether you're single or taken your key phrase this year is sure to be "lucky in love."

Aquarius
In 2008 Aquarius you will have so much going on in your love, sex and personal life that it's guaranteed to be nothing less than life altering. It will be more emotional for you than usual this year Aquarius so you will have to get used to a deeper level of soul searching when it comes to your sexual desires and intimacy requirements in relationship. This could be the lifetime turning point if you're at the marrying age.

Pisces
In 2008 Pisces you will finally begin to draw a line in the sand when it comes to love and sex. Your relationships take on a more practical and steady feel as you recognize the importance of clear definitions for once. This year won't be easy Pisces, but in the end you will be rewarded with a renewed sense of structure and personal rules for what you require in love. Yes, the theme for your love forecast in 2008 is without a doubt learning how to play by the rules. The good news is that this year, you will make up your own that others follow.

Aries
Aries, you more than any other sign should be excited about the climactic promises of 2008. Over the past couple of years your sex life has been at best, hum drum and at worst, completely nonexistent thanks to Saturn, the planet of restriction, touring the area of sex and romance. Life has been dull but it's finally over and you're ready to play. In 2008 you're certain to become reacquainted with great sex. Whether you're single or in a relationship this year the name of your sex game is "making up for lost time".

Gemini
Gemini, over the past several years you've hurdled though some of the most intense and transforming experiences we can have as sexual beings longing for love.
Pluto, the planet of death, rebirth, and renewal has been touring your sign of committed partnerships for a long time. Your view on relating has been forever changed. In 2008 the intensity of Pluto will finally leave, allowing for a true rebirth in your relationships. What's even more exciting is that this year Pluto will enter the area of sex and intimacy. Gemini, your sexual nature is going to reach new, erotic depths.

Cancer
Cancer you are in for a major transitional year in 2008 in terms of love, sex, and relationship. The key to handling what is likely to come your way will be cultivating a fearless approach to intimacy. There will be lots that want you. You simply cannot be afraid to dig deep in 2008 Cancer because if you are, you'll be buried in overly dramatized sex and relationship intensity. We're not going to let this happen. This year, it's time to take control of your love life. Many of the other compatible stars see that you're the "right guy" for them.

Leo
Leo your love and sex life in 2008 is going to be either a dream come true or your worst nightmare turned into reality. It all depends on how you handle the energy of two major eclipses in the year which reflects on committed relationships. Looking for love may come too easy but holding on to it is something else.

Virgo
This year Virgo your love and sex life continues to be full of chaos and surprises. Upheaval is your keyword in 2008. This is because Uranus, the planet of unexpected and sudden events, has been present in the area of partnerships for the past few years and is not leaving anytime soon. The good news is that your sex life and ability to have some fun in love is going to get better. So in 2008 surprise might actually be a good thing. Maybe staying playful is better this year.

Libra
Libra, in 2008 you are going to find that love and sex becomes a dramatic area of your life. As one of the most romantic signs of the zodiac, this news should intoxicate you. However, at the same time don't underestimate the transcendental experiences your love and sexual life will cause this year. You may find too many suitors or if in a relationship, you find your partner not too willing because he/she is having problems of their own this year.

Scorpio
Scorpio in 2008 your love and sex life will continue to be full of ups and downs. Thanks to a continual presence of Uranus, sex and romance, the one area of your life that cannot be totally predicted in the coming year will be love and sex. As a Scorpio however, I can assure you of one thing. Erotic revolution. Just be brave to approach and not be shy. Take a chance.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius your love and sex life could feel like someone has pressed the "pause" button as you begin 2008. Nothing seems to be flowing well. Tell your adventurous soul to relax however because it will not be the dominating theme of the year. In fact Sagittarius, it's more like a warm up, preparing you for what's to come in your love and sex life for 2008. The year might start out slow, but it will certainly end up hot and steamy.

Not going to state where I got these predictions but it did come partly from the Internet somewhere and the rest is my inclusions. These are basic and full in depth details are not included. Also, it's up to you to believe in the stars or not. Astrology has been around thousands of years till today. Still though, love supersedes all levels in the universe.

Bar advice. Nothing is set in stone. These things are just a glimpse of what can possibly happen. Peoples destiny and choices are made by themselves that either haunts them or helps them.

Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year

Yes it's that time of the year again. The end of one year and the beginning of the next. Let's reflect on what we did throughout the year, shall we?

A lot of us may have done well but I'm sure there's a lot of others that are just having a bad time in their lives. You lived through the Christmas season and now it's time to look forward to a new start of the coming year. Some people may have had financial or work problems. Bills need to be paid. Careers aren't going so well. Family commitments and schedules are tight. Money. Not enough time for the kids. Not enough sleep and relaxation. Death in the family of someone you loved. You or someone you know, ill.

Those in relationships are having difficulties. Just met someone but unsure. Getting on with age and being alone. Looking for good advice is hard. No listening ear to your problems. Confusion. Marriage on the rocks. Husband or wife being unfaithful. Singles can't seem to find the "right" one. Can't understand why you were dumped. Lonely. Lack of sex in the relationship. Too busy with daily life. Feel like losing control. Feel like barriers and walls are all around and there's no door to open. Not sure to take the chance with someone new you met.

There can be so many other examples and I'm sure if given more we all fit in there somewhere. The point is that we go through all sorts of things every year. So do a lot of other people. The resilience of the human spirit is far greater than you think. Some aren't able to cope and the result of this can lead as low as to commit suicide. Just remember, this(problems) too will pass.

I haven't added to the blog since Christmas and will get back with more sometime after the year begins. Wishing all a happy, prosperous, wish filling and loving new year.
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Bar advice. Don't think too much about resolutions. Just take action in the coming year. Seek that bravery in you heart to get over anything.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Making the connection

It seems that people looking for love, a partner, a confidant or a good match, seem to leave one thing out. Making the connection. With this, I mean, we tend to place all hopes on things that we imagine or would like to see happen in our love life. Problem is, we sometimes don't know what we really want even if it's staring us right there in the face.

What relationship advice can I dispense that will make people understand that we need to do a self examination of what we truly want in life as far as a mate or partner is concern? You got to know what you are after. Do you want to just sit back and do nothing and hope that the right one is going to fall in your lap? Praying may help but what if you get sent the right one that God thinks is best for you and you reject it. What then? Are you ready for second best? The decision to be with someone is ultimately yours.

Some people are trying hard to find someone. They accept the fact that they may not be able to get the ideal person that they would like but they give it a shot. People up to the age of thirty tend to take a less serious look at marriage. They are still having fun, making money, dating, building careers or other life endeavours and challenges. They will find it harder to find someone in their later years especially for women. Most women, at forty, are past their 'prime' in the eyes of men for marriage and children. The women in this group that are still looking tend to be more selective of their men as they do not like to waste any more time and effort in attaining a partner.

A reality check is what's needed where people that are searching for a partner but don't seem to know what they really want. Some may use classifieds or Internet dating websites but there's always the fact that a lot of people don't tell the truth in these things. Meeting and getting to know someone is crucial. Come to your own conclusions and don't make hasty decisions when meeting this person. It takes time. If you're comfortable and the connection has been made, give the person the benefit of the doubt and allow for time. Relationships blossom over time spent together.

If he/she is moving to fast, tell them to go at a slower pace. There may be times that you may want it to speed up but only if you both feel your connection is not lacking in communicating ones needs. Letting yourself flow in the direction of getting more involved at a deeper level is a hard move but sometimes you have to. People will eventually have to open up so that the other may be able to know you better. Be willing to give in to the person a little and not be afraid of talking to your partner about your concerns in life and the things that you are looking for. You should bring these things up to the surface earlier to avoid getting into a relationship mess later.

Those that are already having sex or some form of sexuality, like kissing and touching, have already moved to a higher plato. Here the relationship may get strained due to the fact that one partner may feel that it is just something that derives from lust rather than love. There may be concerns that the future holds no common ideals. Some fear that they may get in too deep only to find that they have wasted time and energy and the outcome is not fruitful. Fears like this may be justified but if you're not getting any younger why not take a chance. Give yourself the opportunity to find out if the person is worth your love and being. You never know what you'll get in return. Your life may just change.

Finding miss or mister right is never going to happen in reality for most. If you wish to continue to dream that the person will be coming from some magical place, then you're going to find you're only kidding yourself. Dreams are nice but reality is the truth. Can and will you search inside you're heart to make a reality check on your life up to this day? What's holding you back from progressing with the person you found? Do you compromise and accept that not only will your partner have flaws but so will you to them? Are you comfortable enough to free yourself from outside forces that hamper you from advancing in the relationship like age, work, family, education, race, background, religion and others alike? Is there a better way?

Give yourself permission to feel and be alive. Isn't it a better feeling when someone is in your life. Being older brings you wisdom and knowledge of past failed relationships. Use it. Those that have been hurt before by people that have deceived them have to still know that it may happen again but you can prepare a little better now. Your judgement of the one you're with is key to the relationship's love intensity. Accept their imperfections, their different ways, lifestyle, outlook at life and adapt as they will have to with you. My advice is, be yourself and let them be themselves and the two of you will work everything out eventually.

Bar advice. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Stand there naked and ask yourself if you and who you're with is worth all this. When you got your answer seek that same answer in the one that you're going to be with.

Friday, November 30, 2007

When the magic fades

Being in love is the super feeling that makes everything else seem trivial in this doggy dog world. If you're in love now or ever been than you know what I mean. My mom, when I was young, use to say that people in love think that they can live on love and fresh air alone. Actually I think that most people in love probably do think that way. I know I did.

The thing is, it was so true what my mom said. People at a younger age will think that way till they get older and are in the same relationship. Many will feel the effects of what the world and all it's blocks and walls can bring. Priority changes especially when you're a girl and you got parents nagging at you for not thinking about settling down. The nagging also continues about the no good bum you've been dating for all these years. Women get more of a hard time because parents feel that their prime may go quicker and they'll be "left behind" or on the "shelf" and eventually the guy she's with may end up dumping her. Can you blame your parents about the worrying or trying to give you advice?

All said and done. In the event that you do or don't get married, what will happen when the magic fades? I've seen it happen before. Once, a guy I knew, broke up with his girlfriend of over eleven years. She was thirty four when that happened. It's easier for a guy to rebound but women will have a hard time. Why they waited to get married I don't know but I think that it was better for her that they didn't. If she became a divorcee, it would have been worse for her to get another guy. Don't know if she ever did. Never saw her again.

Most of the time when the magic is fading, there seems to be a lot of pressure, arguments, abuse, temper and other stuff. Guess you can understand what I mean? It's all part of maturity and development. Where are our priorities? Are we going to do everything for the person we are with or is it just "puppy love"? Most women I know always say they hate the guys that "play games". There are some women that do that too, actually. They fake the interest just so that they need not be alone. They lead a guy on so they have someone to go out with or just to talk to. They don't want to look single in front of family and friends. In most cases there is either no sex or bad sex in this relationships.

If we can see that there is a problem arising we need to have a proper discussion with our partner. Ironing out the issues will be much better that all the shouting, yelling and phone banging that will go on for days. Is this the person you're going to marry for the rest of your life? It's better to get out of it now, even if it was ten years together, than ending up a bloody mess later. Worse, is kids are involved. With kids involved your problems will haunt you till the day you die. Even after divorce, it will haunt you till death because the kids are a part of both of you.

My advice to this is constant reaffirmations to each other. Tell the person your appreciation of being with them. Give compliments. Give in to the other. Who doesn't like to be "right" but who likes being in the dog house? If you want to make it work you got to intensify your commitment to the person that you are with more every year down the line. This includes after marriage. Don't just think that after the chase is over that all will be well. It takes a lot of effort for that magical flame not to go out. In fact it can go out faster in marriage.

Working out all the issues is far better than battling it out. One example is to stop in the middle of an argument, take a breath and change your tone. Tell the other that you both need to discuss the issue as a team. Try it, this works. Some people I've seen can go on a yelling rampage between each other in supermarkets, malls, theaters, bars and so on. You name it. It make you wonder why they are together in the first place. Will they have endless bliss? Will you?

Bar advice. The person you're with is going to be with you for a very long time. Don't you think it's best to lay solid foundations for your relationship. This is going to be your partner. What are you willing you do, starting now?

Monday, November 26, 2007

The elusive kiss. (For guys)

Finding the elusive kiss. How? You've been touching your lady in a nonthreatening, playful, and sexually stimulating way. You're ready to go further and she seems into you but for whatever reason, the chance never seems to come. The "kiss me" look never quite materializes or it comes at just the wrong time.

She's shy and never gives you a good head to head look from which you can lean into. What can you do? Well, one thing that works all by itself almost always is this. Hold her gently but firmly and take hold of her chin between your thumb and index finger. Move her head to face you. Think sex scene in a movie. Chances are she'll melt then and there and you won't have to say a thing. However, sometimes you'll have a woman who wants to "prove" just how strong she is, maybe how cool she is, or she'll just be so nervous that she'll actually pull away slightly even though she wants to be kissed. What do you do?

Be straightforward. Ask if she wants to be kissed by you. If she says yes or nothing, just do it. If she says maybe, presuade her a little and try doing it. If she says no, unlikely given the build-up you've gone through to get here, tell her "it can wait if she's not ready" in a playful teasing tone. Don't act let down. You were just playing with her. Get it? Wow, that was easy. Be bold by not caring. You need to be the alpha male here. Act like you don't to care. Listen, obviously you want to score. If you didn't, you wouldn't go to the trouble of wooing this lady, or setting the right mood but you can't let that be your obvious goal when you're in the process. You need to concentrate on the process, and your goal should be as slick as you can. Do that, and yeah, the sex will come (woohoo!), but if all you worry about is the sex that gets telegraphed to your lady in the worst possible way. So, again, relaxed playfulness is the key.

While you are sexually cuing her you don't want it to be overtly sexual. You want it to be fun. Don't get serious. The mistake most men make when they try to turn up the notch is they suddenly get too quick and unprepared for a possible pause on her part. Think about it. Imagine yourself in a first kiss. How often are either of you smiling as you go into it in your head? Admit it. Not much. Most likely your imagination has you thinking of some movie you saw last night. Just like people can fall in love at first sight. However, when you get serious at this crucial moment you cause her to think seriously about it. Suddenly she's switched into thinking if you're the one for her and unless you've got a deep spiritual connection going, she's gonna have some doubts. You don't want doubts. You don't want all those somber questions floating around. Hell, it's just a kiss! Stop treating it like a life long pairing. You're both suppose to get to know each other.

Keep it relaxed. Keep it playful. Keep it fun. So no, don't be brave about the kiss. If it takes that much bravado, you've already built it up too much. Treat it like you've been there before. Like a natural extension of the fun you're having and not like you're entering some new chapter in a saga, but just part of the path. Trust me, this works. That's right. Go back to the fun you were having like nothing happened. She'll wonder what the hell's going on. Of course, you know you're just teasing her. By pushing forward and then stepping back, you're increasing the sexual tension. Suddenly she's the one thinking about sex. Not in the serious "Could I Marry Him" way, but in the "Does He Like Me?" way.

When you fill in the next silence with another kiss, do a bit on her shoulders as well. You should take it a little further. Then draw back a bit and then take it a bit further. See where this is going? Maybe a kiss on her neck, from the back. You want to ratchet up the sexual tension until she is wanting to go further, faster than you're going. Keep it playful. Make her beg (not in a mean way, remember, this should be fun for both of you). Before you know it, you'll both be naked and putting the lambada to shame. If you go too fast and she is uncomfortable, back off a bit and build her up. The key is making sure she wants the next step before you get there. This means taking your time. Go slow. Pay attention to all the parts of her body. Surprise her now and again. Give her a tickle when she expects a caress. Peck her cheek and lean back when she expects a french kiss. Get it?

This video isn't exactly what I have in mind but it helps.

VideoJug: How To Kiss Someone Passionately

Bar advice. Remember this advice. She's the girl your are desiring. She's no hooker. You want her to want you just as much. It drives me crazy to explain these things to guys.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Karma Sutra. Seductive sex positions VCD

Don't get me wrong but I'm not trying to promote X-rated films or pornography. This is for people that truly need help in the sack. Sex is so common but not all of us know exactly what to do. Do we? If you tell yourself that you don't need any help in this department then you must be the author of all sexual info.


These VCD's may help some but not all. There's a lot of stuff that is quite common to most but I'm sure it can benefit those that need a little boost to their love making skills. My advice here is to use what you like and try some out.

Bar advice. Don't just think that the men need this more than the women. It is the lack of pleasure from a lover that drives people to the arms of others.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

What happened to the sex?

What happened to the sex? Over time, without careful attention, sex can become routine and then fade from a relationship, sometimes altogether. Consider that the average couple has sex once a week. How does that bode for the slightly below average, or worse, those on the bottom of the fulfilling sex life scale?

While doing it less than ten times a year is the "technical" qualification for a celibate relationship, the reality is, if you're concerned about the infrequency of sex in your pairing, it's time to address the issue before it gets too late.

Sex is a normal, healthy part of human existence despite societal hang ups and prudishness. Intolerance for sexuality, sexual desire and sexual preference is ignorant and shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the human body. That doesn't mean anyone who has hang ups about sex is bad or wrong. We live in a culture that simultaneously demonizes and glorifies all things sex related. As such, it's no wonder so many of us are confused about the acceptability of our urges and what sex should truly be.

We do have to consider religious views of this subject but most people don't have a problem with sex. Certain things may be taboo but the individual has to want sex with their partner. If you want to have a healthy relationship, one that is satisfying for both partners and complete in its scope, it's time to face your issues and work through them or move on. Sex is the glue that holds a romantic love relationship together. Period. Take it away and when the tough times come, it'll be a whole lot harder to stand up together and power through them. It'll also be a lot harder to remain amicable and avoid resentment. We're human beings and when we're healthy, we need sex. It's actually good for us.

So what do you do if you're in a sex free relationship? As with most things in life, it's crucial to come to a place of understanding. If you look back over the time you've been with your partner, can you place where the sex stopped? Was it simple and clear cut or was it gradual? Was it the result of sexual differences or the product of a series of stressful situations. Did one or the other of you decide you "just didn't feel like it," until that became the status quo? These things tend to happen to married couples more but it can also happen to singles especially those that have been together for a long time. If the fire of making love is dwindling, you better do something soon.

You should consider how long you've been together. Monotony between the sheets is pretty common in a long term relationship or marriage and the investment is such that it's worthwhile to put in the effort to fix things. But if you've only been together a few months and you find yourself looking elsewhere or not looking at all, how much is it really worth to turn things around? Can that even be done? Is it possible you're just not the right match? It's hard to face, but it happens. Chemistry is complicated and you can't beat yourself up for that. You can simply address the issue and move on. While it may be tough in the moment, when you're in a successful, physically intimate and fulfilling relationship down the road, you'll know you made the right decision.

Whatever answers thoughtful analysis brings you, it's also vital not to blame yourself or your partner. Relationships are a two way street and both of you may have allowed this behavior to continue. That said, accepting responsibility for your role in the situation may do a lot toward remedying it, if that's what you both want to do. If you can approach your partner with an honest apology for your part in letting things get to this point, they're going to be more likely to reciprocate and to work with you to get things back on track in the bedroom. However, understand this, if you're not having sex, the problems most likely extend beyond the closed doors of your boudoir.

While it's possible that your sex free zone has arisen out of physical problems (if you or your partner are experiencing prolonged diminished desire, it's worthwhile to speak to a doctor), these situations often present a chicken or the egg conundrum. In other words, did you stop feeling desire first or did something happen to decrease your desire? No matter the situation, only you can decide if or when it's time to leave. Many sexual problems can be resolved with effort and dedication. There are some schools of thought that say "fake it til you make it" and the desire will come back. How you choose to handle it is up to you but remember this, accepting less than what you want in a relationship sends the sign that you're willing to settle and a lifetime without sex is a whole lot more compromise than it's worth.

Bar advice. Making love with someone you're in love with is suppose to be the best there is and cannot be expressed into words what the heart is feeling. If you don't have this feeling, you're in trouble.

NewNetMail

Monday, October 15, 2007

Sexy confidence

If you're wondering how to improve your sex life or how to even get one, there's a simple answer that may surprise you. The desirability factor has very little to do with how you look on the outside, and a whole lot to do with how you feel on the inside. Believe it or not, confidence, the sort that comes from comfort in yourself and who you are as well as your sexuality; is the best tool for seduction.

Beyond the celebrities we all find sexy in countless grocery store magazines, to whom, in real life, do you find yourself drawn? Most likely, it's people who smile easily, who aren't afraid to meet your gaze, who move with effortless grace and feel comfortable in their own skin. It's the confident people, not necessarily those we find physically perfect, who draw us in. Feeling good about yourself signals potential partners that not only are easy to be around, but are probably great in bed.

A genuinely confident person however, who knows what they want in and out of the sack. On that note, sexually confident people tend to have a certain degree of integrity, sexually speaking. In other words, while a cocky individual, someone whose bravado screams look at me, look at me, but whose demeanor indicates their self esteem is faux; may be less than giving when getting some. The confident individual cares not just about their own pleasure but about their partner's as well. Sex, after all, is reciprocal. Oftentimes, the better your partner feels, the better you feel about yourself. Basically, confidence exudes warmth, energy and passion.

The first step to sexual confidence is getting to know your own body, your own desires and how to accommodate them. We all got fantasies. How we use them plays a major role in life itself. Remember that what you put out is what you're going to receive in return. So, being warm and friendly, kind and courteous, unafraid to give a compliment when deserved and grateful for all that you have just as you are now will draw those same things to you. Likewise, when you bask in your own sex appeal easily, without becoming obvious about it, you'll become a magnet for exactly the types of people you want to attract. Those who will make you feel even better about yourself while you do the same for them.

Bar advice. Go look at yourself in a mirror. If you like what you see and feel, great. If not, and you want better, get off your ass and do something about it. Just waiting for a miraculous change won't do it.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

A cute Japanese girl

Last week I had this Japanese girl come into the bar. She heard the music and came up. Seems like she likes R&B songs. She spoke pretty good English so we got on well in conversation.

Initially she sat away from the bar area but moved there when I told her that the other side was non smoking. She told me that she was there for a brief holiday and staying with friends. I was kind of disappointed that she didn't have a hotel room but I didn't know where the conversation would lead anyway. Later in conversation she revealed that she was married but her husband was in Japan. Working. Alone. I started thinking to myself " Oh God she's here alone".

Nice thing was that she had a great sense of humour as well. Using the astrology thing I found out that she was a Snake/Leo. Great combination because people born in those signs are sexually hyper. They are low keyed but if you manage to be with one, you'll find she'll intoxicate you with her seductive prowess. When a Snake/Leo wants you she'll go all out to make the moves that will surprise you. Her gentle ways makes her an interesting find. She also like a little bit of party and enjoyment but won't over do it. She's responsible. Knows what she likes and wants. Most of all she always knows that she can get almost any man in the room. She makes heads turn when she walks by and she knows it.

I also read her palm(basic stuff I know) and it revealed to me that she had other love interest. She smiled and turned away from me but confirmed it was true. This all took place when we went to a bar after I closed mine. Later, and after more drinks, I put her in a taxi. Did get a kiss but tried to steal one on the lips but she knew I was doing the old cheek and shift to the lips bit so I ended up with the cheek kiss. She smelt nice too. She was going to a Indonesian island resort the next day and I knew I wouldn't see her again. Fortunately, she gave me her email address.

I just talked to her on MSN messenger. The one thing she did reveal to me was that there was actually a current affair. The guy I mentioned about when looking at her palm. She did say that it was more sexual fulfillment than love. Adultry or not I told her I understood. I even asked if she read my blog after I sent an email earlier. She did and found it interesting and myself knowledgeable. Probably because she may be able to relate to some of the topics. I even told her I was going to write about her in the blog. She had no problems with it.

This cute Japanese girl actually gets me interested because although she only met me once, actually went out with me. She's in a foreign country but had enough trust in me to know that I was a nice guy. She also emailed me a shot of her in her bikini by the swim up bar at the resort. She really did look like she was having fun but somehow she does look a little sad behind that sweet smile. I guess that's what happens when you have a husband and juggling a lover on the side. It's more common than most people think. Confusion becomes your friend. Why's that?

Well, the heart is split between the married partner and the single stud. Maybe it's truly a sexual feed but she probably wishes it was coming from her husband instead of another man. You can't make your husband change all of a sudden. Most men end the romance after the chase is over. I wonder at this moment if she and I had more time would I have been able to be with her that night. Possibly, but, it would have to be her choice. It seems to me that some part of her life is still not completely satisfied or realized yet. She's still searching. I hope she finds it for herself someday.

Bar advice. Sex is a common desire for all. Mostly men but there's also a lot of women(even married) that need the attention, tenderness, seduction of passionate romantic love making that a lot of guys don't understand.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Does size matter?

Here we come to the age old question that looms over the heads of guys all over the world. Does size matter? Most people say no, even the women but if they got one in their hands, head or hole, they're not about to complaint.

It's safe to say that the guys that do have a well hung one may have a better time with the ladies but not necessarily because some guys don't even know how to get the girl in the first place, hence, his dilemma of not knowing what to do with the 'snake' in his pants.If a girl likes a large one or if a guy wants a long one, then size matters only to that individual. The vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and even a small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina unless she likes anal sex and needs something that can go deeper. To each, their own fetish.

Can penis size be increased? Yes! There is only two methods. The Bihari Procedure and the Fat Infection method. You can check that out yourself. What most don't know about is something called "blue balls". What is it? The simple terms blue balls occurs when the epididymis(correct term for it) gets blocked up with sperm that have left the testis but not the penis. The vas deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis to the urethra. When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and not "swollen balls," well maybe the connotation is that your balls have the "blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling some of the blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the area because of pooling blood. I don't know. Get a medical opinion if you got it.

Enough medical talk. The fact that remains is when you want to have sex with someone it will not matter if the two people are in passion and in heat for each others comforts and sexual desires. If a guy is having a "one night stand" plan then surely a guy will be conscious of his "toy" because he doesn't want to be laughed at. For a girl she may be in need of a well hung guy because when she's horny she wants the bang to be memorable so she can get through the week with pleasure. Normal human behaviour I suppose. The funny thing is that even a guy that is smaller down below can still give great sex if he knows what to do.

In various ways men need to know that they can satisfy almost all women the same way. Their problem is that they have seen too much porn that when it's time to have sex with the girl they drop their pants, imagine this huge "canon" coming out but only to find that they got a "pea shooter". Then what? If he's thinking it, then he thinks that she'll be thinking of that as well. The whole night will be spoilt then unhappiness and frustration wins.

What now? Well, guys should take time to master the art of seduction a little more. Make her want you for you and not if you got a "magnum" between your legs. If she wants you, you're in. She'll take you for the man you are and accept all of you. Guys got to learn to make her want you and when you do end up in bed, do things like massages, bedroom games, teasing, cunnilingus, fetishes and more. Rock her world and she won't care about anything else. The foreplay can be just as good as the sex act itself.

Bar advice. The most seductive tool that anyone can use is your voice. Words are so important to the whole pursuit. Any girl reading what I just wrote will agree.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Weird Sex Laws

I was on Digg search engine site to submit something online when this topic came up. The lady that wrote about it got it from this source. Bert Christensen's Truth & Humour Collection. In here was some weird sex laws that he might have come across. I'm not sure why he got them but here are some of what's in it.

*Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding you in his arms.

*Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)

*In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
*Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
*In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
*In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

*An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club".

*In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
*In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
*In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
*The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

*In Willowdale, Oregon no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
*In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night).

Here are some international weird sex laws.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.!! The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

Bar advice. These laws, I assume, was formulated by certain "events" that took place and had to be passed. Can you imagine yourself on TV news being brought into jail for any of these.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

How to tell if their a bad lover

So how can you tell if the person you've got your eye on will make a good lover? That depends on what you like! The good news is, taste aside, you can tell if they'll be a bad one. Here are clues your date will make a lousy bed mate.


Not at home in their own skin?
Most of us would change something about our bodies if we could but if you're sitting face to face with someone who seems downright uncomfortable with themselves, you might have cause to worry. Excess surgeries, too much makeup, overly sexy clothing, fear of eating more than a lettuce leaf. The person who tries too hard usually doesn't have the experience or self-esteem to both give and receive pleasure. Their having trouble pleasing themselves how do you think their going to please you?

Too good to be true
The ability to let loose is key to good sex. A person without vices, someone who seems perfect and takes their perfection quite seriously, is likely going to need things to be equally perfect. These people are those who see themselves as model human beings and thereby judge everyone else for their so called shortcomings and are rarely in touch with the world. When it comes to sex, being judgmental and devoid of any naughtiness (even if it's a love for ice cream at breakfast) actually translates to frigid or at least rigid. What kind of fun is that? You and your partner should be fooling around with each other and having a good time. To others it may look stupid but that sort of fun is flirtatious and meant for the two involved.

A roving eye
Some might say that the more people someone checks out the higher their sex drive. Is that true or is it a front? The reality is that if you're on a date with someone and they don't have the courtesy to stay focused on you, a passing glance at another person doesn't count, then they probably won't have much regard for you in bed either. If satisfying their own appetite is all that's on their mind, you're better off looking elsewhere for a partner. Pleasure in bed should be a two way street.

Misogynists, gynophobia and man haters
Anybody who thinks they understand the opposite sex and doesn't celebrate the differences while understanding that both genders are equally intelligent, emotional and important beings, might as well give up on ever being a truly great lover. You might as well give up on them, sooner rather than later. Some just fear women and don't know that gynophobia is what they have. Lot's of women hate men in almost the same way but it's clinical and not formulated.

What did you say?
Whether it's about sex, dinner, your day, work, the person who asks no questions has little interest. Little interest means little connection. Little connection means this person may not actually be a bad lover but they'd be a bad lover for you.

Bar Advice. One sure way to tell if they're a bad lover is if he/she says they have to leave right after the sex is over. If it's going to be short and sharp then that's all you'll get out of it.

Monday, July 23, 2007

How to be Irresistible to the Opposite Sex


An extremely practical, warm, and honest manual on courtship in American society. You are guaranteed to learn important things about your sex, and the opposite sex, you've never known, and be reminded of sensible things that you've known but have simply not acted upon. If you're single but wanting to couple, this is a truly great book.

This book is really for the early beginners that need some basic tips to gain ground in the attracting game. Simple things and changes that they can do to help themselves. More seasoned people can find other sources at Amazon if they want to spice it up further.

Bar advice. It's not that you aren't good enough, maybe you just don't know the things that you need to do.