The Advice We Get About Our Relationship

I've seen so many situations where a relationship between two people have been jeopardized by other people like family members, friends, colleagues, etc. These people, may at times be genuinely concerned but on numerous occasions they are not.

The Advice We Get  About Our Relationship can occasionally be damaging. Sometimes our best friends say bad things about the person we are with because they may have feelings of loss of your friendship or feel like someone splitting up a good team between you two. There is also, at times, jealousy involved where a friend just can't find a partner and if you are involved with someone they advise you that the person you're with isn't right for you. Some may even spread rumors or lies in hopes of breaking you up.

Office colleagues working together have a tendency to have an office romance or even sexual encounters where it is a mutual understanding, including affairs with married people. However, if someone gets attached and is in a relationship suddenly the whole dynamics change. Where a sexual friendship is suddenly interrupted, people have feelings stirred to the surface that they didn't realize was alive. This could also be anything as low key as daily flirting in the office and not actually having sex with that person but it remains the same feeling.

Being deprived access to someone because a third party has stepped in could drive some people to do ugly things and sure enough they provide all sorts of warnings and bad advice to place terror into the mind in hopes that they can invoke a break up so things can go back as it was and they look the hero.

In certain circumstances the advice about your new relationship may come from a colleague of the same gender and gives you negative remarks about the person you're with because they have a hidden agenda. In certain cases, they may be gay and attracted to you in secret so they advise you about relationship horror stories hoping you don't remain hitched and they may still have a shot even if you're not gay. Doesn't matter if you're male or female. They probably are hoping for the best or fearing the worst if you find out about their desire or orientation and that's why they do it.

On the home front, you may have to deal with older sisters or brothers and if they are married, its worse. They believe they are fit to be your adviser on matters of the heart because their monotonous life works! So, in their head, they are fit to advise you on your choice of partner and relationship matters even though the lack of romance or sex in their own relationship is up for debate.

Parents on the other hand is a little tricky. They may have your best interest at heart but most of the time we never listen to them. Do we? Some mothers are concern we make an impulsive choice or be lured away by an unscrupulous person that will bring heartache and sadness. However, mom's advice although sound, is hardly in our minds when we make choices of the heart. I guess the dreaded idea of bringing home that special someone only to have a disapproving argument later on our choice is enough for anyone to have a heart attack. Just like in the movies.

Don't get too discouraged. Not all advice is bad. There are many friends and colleagues that will be happy for you, tease you along and even help you when needed. Parents too, especially mom, will be your biggest supporter and helpful adviser. So its not all doom and gloom even though there is a lot of bad advice coming from people who you should stay far away from.

Bar Advice. It boils down to your choice. No one else. Just be aware what advice you're getting, who and why they're giving it to you.

Social Network Sites

I am really thrown back at some of the people that join the social network sites, especially the women. I've seen on several sites, including Facebook, Hi 5, Tagged, My Space, Friendster and more, where they use the phrase "in a relationship" for their status. Some are provided as options on the site and some are typed in. Either way, it is loosely used.

Now why place that there and then start flirting with everyone? Some women even add sexy photos of themselves. Guys add photos of their body tattoos or abs and such. The fact that they state they are already in a relationship, and most probably are, then do everything that would piss off the person they are involved with who will be looking at their page as well, is just mind blowing. Best part, some encourage their partners by supporting the behaiviour as long as the status shows they are involved with someone.

Now a lot of conversations are posted on the sites for everyone to read, except personal messages of course, and when someone adds their view or states something inappropriate or just doesn't seem to fit into the other persons social circle; all hell can break loose. It seems everyone will jump on board to help criticize or pound the offender into the ground.

An example I saw would be where a girl uploaded a few photos of herself in a bikini. She looked great and her best "asset" was her fabulous breast and the cleavage. Now of course you'll get a few friends comment on them and that includes strangers that make semi decent ones as well. The thread was pretty long as she had a lot of friends(with assets like that who wouldn't), however, when one guy added a remark that he wish he could "bang" her, it became ugly. Suddenly one guy after another started to mention the guy's comment was inappropriate, not a nice thing to say, was an asshole, this and that. I'm sure you get the point.

Same thing similar happened also with a guy posting a pic of himself and comments that came in were good and bad. In his case other guys stated things like how he thought he was handsome, he was trying to attract another man's girlfriend and had no real substance and vulgarity became part of the whole thing. Even some girls added dislike to the guy and viciously voiced it in their comments. Oddly, a lot of them just weren't really interested in the string of comments but just threw their two cents worth to condemn the person.

Now the way I look at this is, firstly, it happens more so to singles that actual married people. So that tells me there are people looking for others and really trying to connect. Of course you have your perverts and hookers trying to see who, if they can, capitalize on any action. You also get some, actually plenty, of fake profiles but that doesn't stop them from making comments if they fancy or dislike someone. It seems people will say some weird stuff sometimes. Some want the attention and welcome everything and everybody just so they have a pile of friends that in real life falls short of how people truly perceive them.

I'm sure you've also seen things like this if you're in any of the social networks. Maybe you're one of the free for all condemning players as well. I think some guys tend to come to the "rescue" of the girls due to their own plan of trying to be Mr. Nice guy in the hopes of gaining favour in her eyes. They believe she will respond to them in a closer way, at least online for the start, and other possibilities in future. They also want other girls to see that they are a better person than others. This of course is the false front in their feeble attempt to become the "hero" in a situation where they are seen in a good light by everyone especially the girls.


Women also do this similarly but they are not as aggressive in their attempt but the ones that are not so good looking tend to make bolder statements in an attempt to shine more light on their intellect, conversational skills and trying to be more interesting so they can throw the guys scent off how their looks. In reality they are looking but modesty holds them back from really saying that the guy online is someone they will jump in the sack with, irregardless of their relationship status, but they can't and won't. Just leaving the thoughts of possibilities.

A lot of quarrels, squabbles and major break ups happen because of all this and everyone sees online and wants to be part of it, even if they make the problem happen in the first place. A lot of people are really to blame for the problem starting in the first place as a lot of them like the comments being made about themselves in photos and the flirting that takes place even though they know they are attached. Funny thing is, especially a for lot of girls when they do break up, will fully announce they are back looking, are free and available, back in the game, ready for a new beginning, on a fresh outlook at life and any other line they can think of to publicize their newly derived single status. Basically, they want the chase to begin again. Some sites, like Facebook, actually help make the announcement when you change anything on the page and that includes you status.

Bar Advice. Overall all these sites draw the good and the bad that happens in people's personal lives ......and we let it.

Flirting tips and relationship advice for women

Flirting is your way of letting the opposite sex know that you're "on the prowl". How available you are determines how you flirt and how serious you are about making and taking things to the next level. Here we'll discuss tips on how women can flirt with positive results. This is not a discussion about women being equals or being submissive to a male, but rather a primer on tactics that will attract interest to men. Everything that comes after you have gotten his interest is up to you and your style. The relationship advice portion is added to expand on what can happen.

Now, everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you don't want him to think you don't have an interest in him do you? Best beginning is to glace over to him often until you have gotten a contact of about two seconds. This will establish the setting. If you're insecure about this you'll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really must look at him to begin the flirting process. Looking away will will throw him off and that's hardly what you want, is it? If you're really confidant, don't go making the reverse mistake by staring at him. Men may love it but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed. The best is a balance of looking into his eyes and then looking down to break the tension. Most women do this almost naturally but that too may not work. Why? Well, a guy won't know to if he should approach or if you're just looking for a hair pin that dropped. He may just leave you alone and you'll get nowhere.

Another key element would be to smile. Naturally most women do if they're talking to someone but even if you're just looking from a far keep it on because you never know who else may be interested. If a guy sees a smiling face he may be more at ease to approach even if he was not the intended person directed. When he talks, smile in appropriate places and be conscious of your smile as you talk. Don't sit there with a false grin or he'll think you've forgotten to take your medication. A smile shows interest and best of all, it's contagious. If you combine this with appropriate eye contact it will begin to solidify your hold over him and you can progress to the next step.

Keeping interest. Nobody likes it when someone ignores them or doesn't pay attention to them. Guys find it hard enough trying to talk to women. If you don't show interest in what he does or says, he's going to think you're not interested and if he starts shifting interest to your girlfriends or someone else, don't blame him. People leading busy lives fail to remember to take a little to vest in the interest of the person they're with. This is also true for men with women.

Conversation should be light and easy. It should also be flowing with fun and talking about interesting subjects won't bore anyone. If you've been out several times already maybe you can start to share some deeper conversations about relationship concerns but if you don't think it's the right time, leave it out. No necessity for heavy commitments at the beginning. If you start to pressure a guy into a deeper relationship after the first or few meetings, he's going to run for the hills. He's either going to think you've just ended a relationship and you're on the rebound, isn't ready and is just jumping at whatever falls in your lap at the moment or you're completely psychotic. Very rarely, but, who in their right mind starts a relationship that quick and with someone you barely know? Are you that desperate?

Behaviour is something that a lot of guys are always checking. What do I mean by this? A lot of guys like it when their girls are at their sides. They may talk to others but they appreciate it, especially when talking among other guys, that the girl will touch them, hold their hand or place it on their shoulder leaning a little. Maybe even a kiss before heading to the ladies room. This is because men want to feel like the women they're with really wants them. She's not interested in anyone else there and she's not looking anymore. Another thing is women that get drunk or really high tend to change into some witch from the depths of the piss pot. She's not only taking loudly but she's demeaning him, scolding, shouting, crying, showing tantrums like a kid and worse of all her clothes are either coming off or parts of her are being exposed to everyone. No guy wants anything to do with YOU if you're like that.

Being a secret friend can be a decider in a blossoming relationship. What's that you ask? They guy likes it when you tell him a secret about yourself. Let it be something that others don't know but also isn't damaging to you if you two break up later on. Also keeping him in confidence about work and family difficulties makes a guy feel that you value him enough to seek his advice or opinions. Try also to get him to open up to you in this manner and as time goes by you two will be sharing stuff like you were already husband and wife for years. So you see, my relationship advice and flirting tips for women could be beneficial to you.

Bar advice. There's obviously more than meets the eye on all these flirting tips and relationship advice but these are some good factors to consider when the next guy comes along.

Faults

What can I say? Faults, we all got them. These faults can be something psychical, in our character, what we say, our behaviour or how we work. There's also the strengths and weaknesses that we have in dealing with others like family, friends and the relationship were in.

Stop what you're doing right now and go look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? At times I don't. If you say you do then great but most will agree with me that they would rather change something that they see as an imperfection. Why? It's just that people want to be seen the way they want others to see them so what they were born with is never good enough. Look at the women that go for beauty pageants. Do you think they got there because they were born like that? Most had stuff done before they joined the pageant. For some the mirror is a friend. For others it's their worst nightmare.

Lets look at what we are like inside. Everyone has faults in their character and being. How they behave and what they do can make the most handsome man or beautiful woman look ugly. Kindness and gentleness towards others sometimes seems soft and wimpy to some. It doesn't go well in the business and that's why a lot of women have a though time in the corporate world. Being shy won't land you that job. Gossiping about others will label you a bitch. Doing whatever the boss says makes you a "yes" man. Taking on extra works puts you in bad light with others because they think you're over ambitious. No one will talk to you because they think you're in cahoots with the boss.

Even going to lunch can be difficult. People start to criticize everything about you and even make fun about your clothes, the way you eat, the way you talk or what your hairstyle is like. If you're a woman it gets worse when all the other ladies are gossiping rumours about an affair that never happened but someone tarnished your reputation by making stuff up. They talk about your short shirt, low cleavage blouse, your shoes or your flirting (made up) with male colleagues. Guys have to worry about their language and comments with their female counterparts or find a sexual harassment complaint go up to the boss. Are all these faults that need correcting? Who is really at fault here?

In a relationship it can get really bad as well. Some people end up in divorce because the person they marry turns out to be a monster in disguise. You ask, "what happened to that sweet boy that brought me flowers?" or " why is this girl stuffing her face with so much food everyday that she now looks like a watermelon?" We find that the person we went out with and the person we live with are from different planets. Some live like slobs and expect everyone to pick after them even after marriage. Some like to cut their toenails on the bed or pick their nose and flick the booger out the window. They forgot that they had individual lives before. The smallest of things eventually adds up and divorce or a break up happens. All this is just what happens at home. Can you imagine going out in public?

All these faults are just the tip of the iceberg. There's some far worse than this. We all got them. We're not perfect and we can never be. However, we can change ourselves. Habits and life choices can be altered. We sometimes forget that others see us differently and we don't see all these faults till it's pointed out to us. Take the advice from good friends or love ones and you might just find a huge change in your life.



Bar advice. The seven deadly sins are the extreme ends of this but there are people that have them. Stay clear of these ones.

Waxing for ladies.

Saturday came and Kat(meow) did show up. She got there a little late but said that there were no dance classes that weekend. When I asked why than she was there, she said that she went a few streets down to get a waxing done. My radar went on high alert especially seeing her hot ass in shorts as well.

I know it sounds like very male, whatever you want to call it, but "hey" I'm human too. Don't forget she's reading this as well. She already commented on this blog. We did also speak about what I wrote about her Chinese and English zodiac signs. It seems that she got some friends to read it as well and they agree that it's her alright. Anyway back to the latest stuff. Just before that, I pricked her with my finger and blew the top just to indicate that her ass was hot. She laughed her in cute way.

I wanted to know if she got a bikini or Brazilian wax job and she told me the latter. I said I could do it for free next time. More cute laughing again. I was flirting. What's a guy to do when a girl tells him something like that. I was imagining myself with running hot water, foam, a shaver and her naked body. I know it's not waxing. I wouldn't know how really and it sounds painful. Right? I rather have her screams and moans be pleasurable than tearing the hair from her vagina area. Hell, I'll even throw in a massage. Now that; I'm good at. Any lady takers? Guaranteed, no strings.

There's one really nice thing about this girl. She is fairly extrovert and open minded. Some may say it's a character flaw but it sure beats the deceptive people out there. Truth and honesty in a person is a good thing. We just really started talking to each other on a different level and it becomes really interesting conversation. It also feels comfortable to both. People that can converse on all subjects, not hold back and enjoy the discussion, often want to it more as well. I believe that's why she's even talking to me.

When she first came to the bar alone, she didn't talk. I talked to her first and ever since then, she talks to me every time after. To me it's due to the fact that when I speak, all words, pronunciation, vocabulary and subjects, is something that she hasn't found in other local people. She has told me that a lot of the people that she goes out with are expats that live here. My guess is that she is seeking for similar intellectual people to have a good time with.

How many times in this blog have I stressed the importance of conversation. It is key at all levels of a relationship. We are just becoming friends and I hope she drops by every Saturday. We joked about me becoming her 'shrink'. She'll see me once a week and the payment, well, I'll have to think something up. Anyway, the waxing that was done must have hurt so I'll go find out about the procedures and get more info about it and hope that if I can solve the pain issue I may get the chance to try it out with her. (Blog flirting here when she reads)

Bar advice. For the guys out there who are going to use this tactic on girls, just remember to tell her that you'll make sure it's smooth enough by testing it with your tongue.

Love is forgiveness

Most of the lovers do not forgive their loved ones. They may forgive their sworn enemy, but they may not forgive their lover. Do you agree with me? Why is this so? It should have been exactly reverse. Somehow it's a always the case of a third party.

What is love? What do we understand by loving someone? How is love different than other relationships and emotions? In love, we give our whole mind and heart to our beloved. We try to keep our beloved most comfortable. We take care not to hurt our darling. In love, we care for each other. We are in the mood of giving in love. Giving always gives more pleasure in love than anything else. If we give things, our heart, our being, our soul, our time and more; it doesn't matter to us because we feel so cherished and want to make the other happy.

If our lover makes a mistake, shall we berate them? Shall we blame them and give them pain? Shall we hold it against them forever? Shall we call them betrayer? If we do all this then it is not love, but a business relationship. You feel you have given so much now want the truth, faithfulness and everything else in return. You feel sad and confused. What has gone wrong?

In love, we have to forgive. We have to pacify our beloved that mistakes are a way of life and everybody does them. We have to tell them not to worry and we are with them. We have to tell them to stop thinking of what happened and think of good things and try to live life joyously. But a majority of us behave in reverse. That is our failure. It was never love to begin with. If you believe that you love your partner, please learn forgiveness.

A quick story is whereby I was forgiven for flirting with another girl and her friends told her about. It was really nothing and there was no intent for anything to happen. i guess I did not consider what her feelings about it would be. She confronted me and the girl about it. Nothing really did happen but it hurt her to know that I did something of that nature. In the end we had a long talk and I apologised for what happened and for hurting her. We made up and she cried for a while but was glad that we had sorted things out.

One thing that normally happens when women find out that a guy has cheated, not in my case though, is to seek out the other woman to confront her. She does this to see with her own eyes what was so special about the other woman. Also, she wants to give her a piece of her mind. The one thing is she forgets is that the guy is a willing party to the actions taken. She should be dealing the issues with the guy instead of the other woman who may not even know that he was seeing anyone. The worst thing happens to be the lack of respect that the guy has done if he sleeps with another when he's in a relationship. There's really something lacking in the relationship if this happens. Both need to tackle the problem with great desire.

If they are a married couple or not, forgiveness can still be allowed. Why? It hurts yes but the shame and guilt has been placed on the head of the culprit. The one you love and reality are still in love with although he may have done this terrible thing. It will take time but people can work things out. If it be the girl that has made the betrayal, most men will be devastated. Professional help may be need but it can be done as well.

Bar advice. The human heart is a fragile thing but it's ability to love and forgive is great. You may not know just yet your own ability.

Flirting tips

How to flirt without really flirting.

Most people are not comfortable to speak to strangers and that is why it is not appreciated if you just start a conversation with almost anyone. That is why in airports, on planes and trains, and in other public places it is hard to indulge in small talk for most of us but if you take the right approach, you can successfully meet new people, even make friends and the best of all, flirt. The beauty of a lot of these encounters is that you can go a bit further simply because you know that you probably will not meet with the same person again.

Techniques for women to make the first move.

Smile. It works since it is a great ice-breaker and makes you look approachable. Almost all men are won over by this. Glance at him or even keep a fixed gaze on him.

If you are close to him, brush up against him. Men treat it as a positive sign of acceptance. If you are in a group, show special interest in him, ask questions and try to move him away from the group.Lick your lips during eye contact. Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement so that he will notice you and will know that you are interested. Basically it means that sometimes you have to strut your stuff.

Ask for his help with something. Remember how girls would drop their books in college when they wanted the guy to come to help and break the ice. Do not play hard to get.Guys tend to brand women like that as bitches.

Techniques for men to make the first move.

Lots of good eye contact. Women always look at guys directly in the eye. Lots of smiles, compliments, and nice gestures. Try to move physically closer but be careful. You do not want to be overly aggressive but you do want to show your interest in physical intimacy. Maybe you can hold her at the waist when in conversation.

Show interest in her. Ask a lot of questions about her and maintain eye contact all the time. Follow-up questions helps as well. Keep talking about yourself to a minimum level. Just throw in a point here and there just to make sure that she does not think that you have nothing to talk about. If you don't know the subject you should say so. Don't pretend like you do and get caught flat footed when a question is being asked about the topic. It will make you look stupid and she's going to know it. Remember the saying which goes something like this. "You make look like a fool but if you open your mouth it will confirm it".

Bar advice. Play the game. You got to sense it with that person. Try harder. Make the effort to go that extra distance. Make time the bench mark. You must give yourself certain periods of the day or night a fixed target to achieve what your plan is. Even if it's a first time meeting with someone, come up with a impromptu one. What have you got to loose?

More flirting secrets

Learn how to spice up the game of love and intrigue everyone you meet by finding and flaunting your most bewitching self. Sharpen up your flirting skills by discovering:

* 25 ways to be a great flirt
* how to create an alluring first impression
* how to overcome the fear of flirting
* how to flirt anywhere, at parties, on the job, while traveling, on the phone, in the car, at the health club
* how to dress fetchingly
* where to go, what to do, and with whom to flirt
* and many more tantalizing secrets

Bar advice.Whether you're a shy beginner or an advanced coquette or Casanova, these perfected flirting tips and secrets will soon have you charming the socks off everyone.