Showing posts with label disaster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disaster. Show all posts

Monday, November 5, 2007

Making a first date a good one

This is more for the guys really but it also applies to ladies on certain points. When you're out on that first date, it's a mindset at the very first appearance in front of the other, you'll either sink or swim.

The way you approach, greet, talk and lead is going to make a girl feel comfortable with you. Women sometimes need to give the guy a little break because most guys are nervous when it comes to dating. Being on a first date makes everyone a little dumb and clumsy. Can you imagine the guy trying to pull your chair out at the table to sit and letting you slip on the floor instead of sliding it back in for you? Disaster big time.

Another thing will be having the meal. It's no big deal to order something you're familiar with than ordering something on the menu that sounds nice but taste like crap later and makes you go to the toilet every ten minutes. For a guy it may not be bad but for a girl going in the loo with her high heals and dress, disaster again.

What to say on the first date? You know what most guys do, they ask the same thing that the woman heard before. Once again calamity in the works. How? By making it boring. Flooding it with common and mundane topics. Such "yawn topics" include "Do you like your job?" "What does you parents do?" "What hobbies do you have?" She'll answer but her mind goes mostly "Zzzzzzzz..." By now she must be thinking this is not just your first date but your only date you ever had.

No one likes to answer predictable questions from dates gone by. A guy needs to stand out from the rest of the wolf pack. Something a guy can do is take time to read some women magazines. Be it your sister's or from the doctors office. Check out what's the latest gossip. You could also go online to check celebrity news or Hollywood drama. These things sometimes helps especially when it involves her favorite stars. The conversation becomes lively and heated, not in anger, but with lustful imagination and sexy, playful thoughts. Ask her who she likes best and if you got some stuff on him, use it to stimulate her inner feelings. It will surface and you benefit from her hormones. The quiet evening will become a rock concert.

Possibly, if you know her interest before hand, gather info on her interest then research it so you have something to chat about. You also got to let her do some talking and you some listening.

You got to end the evening with something to make her want to go out with you for another date. What to say? Tell her you want to cook her dinner and watch movies with the same celebrity you were just talking about for your next date. You could also tell her you want to go dancing on the next date and tell her she can't say No because you won't be able to take her strolling by the beach on the third one. These planed and thoughtful things will get her off guard and pleasantly surprised by a different sort of guy that she's never been with before. You'll be amazed to find that she's the one calling you to say goodnight on the phone; an indicator that she's thinking of you.

Women sometimes like a guy but just won't say it so the guy tends to feel pressured to end the date quickly before, and I'll say it again, disaster strikes. He'd rather save whatever self esteem he still has and head for the hills, so to speak. At this point I must say that women are the ones that sometimes don't know what to do. They expect the guy to know and do everything all the time so he has to do all the moves to succeed but in reality she should try to make the situation a little more pleasant as well and not so stressful. What harm can it do to meet a guy half way in the date. He'll sense it as well and knows that you placed some effort in it. This will make him more at ease and your date will be all the more fun.

Bar advice. Dating is suppose to be fun. Not a chore that needs the approval of another or you'll be going on"first dates" for a long time to come and never get to the second, third or more.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Dealing with bossy people

Among the many types of “difficult” people you will inevitably face in your life are the bossy ones. These are people who, for no other reason than they want to, tell you what you should be doing with your life, how you should be doing it and, everyone’s favorite, what you shouldn't’t have done already.

The thing about bossy people, though, is that they think they’re doing you a favor. Your mother, for instance, simply must tell you to wash your hands (even though you’re nearly 40 years old) because she can’t bear to let you walk around with germs on them. Your spouse, meanwhile, may try to boss you around in the kitchen because he or she is sure you’ll over cook the roast. The potential catastrophes are simply too great to not lend these pearls of wisdom.

To the recipient, of course, being bossed around can be downright maddening, particularly when it’s coming from someone who is probably better off minding their own business. However, you don’t have to let bossy people get the better of you.

How to Handle Bossy People

Nobody likes being bossed around or controlled, you may be tempted to confront the bossy person in an accusatory way, which will surely escalate the situation and leave you with nothing but more strife. So the next time you find yourself with a bossy, controlling person, use these tips to handle the situation with eloquence, class and a positive outcome for you.

1. Confront the person in an appreciative way.
You certainly should address a bossy person’s offensive behavior, but you must do so gently. Start out by showing your appreciation, then stating that you’re happy doing things your own way. (Try, “I appreciate that you’re trying to help me do the dishes more effectively, but I prefer to use the sponge, not the scourer.”)

2. Release your frustrations.
Being bossed around can bring up many negative feelings, including anger, frustration, anxiety and even a loss of self-esteem. The last thing you want to do is internalize these feelings and create an unnecessary source of stress in your life.

3. Stand your ground.
While realizing that most bossy people do have good intentions, you should make it clear to him or her that you have no intention of changing your behaviors. It may be that the person continues to try and control you, but it’s also possible that, upon seeing your confidence, he or she will eventually back down and leave you be. Again, this should be done in a kind, not accusatory, way. (Such as, “Mom, I do so many things around the house the way you do, but when it comes to making salad, I like to cut the tomatoes in quarters, not slices.”)

4. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
Sometimes bossy people may not realize how offensive their remarks can be until they experience it themselves. Next time someone tries bossing you around, experiment with being bossy in return. It may just help to curb the behavior altogether. For instance, if a bossy friend tells you how to get your hair cut, tell them your opinion about how they should be cutting theirs. Just be careful not to go overboard with this and become a bossy person yourself!

We know that the person doing this may not intentionally want to hurt us when it's done and we got to realize that. Even people at work may just want to get things done in a certain way but don't realize that other individuals do things their own way.Sometimes we need to have a confrontation with the bossy person to sort things out before it blows up into a disaster.

Bar advice. Even if the person is your actual boss at work you should be able to stand your ground. Sort things out and get him or her on the same page as you. It's better to deal with it early or you'll be taken advantage of constantly. Same with the people at home.