Our soul is our heart. It is full of radiance. Therefore, our soul mate is someone who reflects our heart.
A man's heart is feminine and the woman who is his soul mate reflects his soul. A woman's heart is masculine and the man who is her soul mate reflects her soul. Each one feels the presence of the other inside of them as the very core of who they are. There is a deep recognition of this truth.
The painful truth is that most people have never known this inner radiance. Instead, they cling to the many myths about the soul mate relationship that are simply not true. These false beliefs need to be understood. Here are just a few.
Myth One: Many people believe that they will find their soul simply by looking, wishing, hoping and dreaming.
They feel that somehow this person will come along and make them eternally happy. This is the most naive of all the soul mate myths.
Myth Two: Others tend to rely upon how much they are attracted to another person to determine if they are their soul mate or not. The truth is that our attractions are very deceiving. The myth is that we can trust our feelings of attraction, as if our feelings are a validation of the facts. Further, the attraction you may have for someone could actually be a fatal attraction without you even realizing it. You may think a person is your soul mate, but you could simply be sexually obsessed with them.
Myth Three: Why are so many of us looking for a soul mate when we don't have any capacity for true heart intimacy? Even if our soul mate actually does appear, we become so terrified of giving our heart to them that we run 100 miles in the other direction. The unconscious myth here seems to be that we can find our soul mate without surrendering our heart.
Myth Four: Another myth is that we will recognize our soul mate if we meet them. We fail to realize that if our soul mate reflects our soul, and we are unable to feel our own inner radiance, don't really love our self or know who we are and then we will be unable to recognize him or her. In fact, you could know such a person for years without even recognizing that they are your soul mate.
The fact that this word alone; soulmate, is a distraction to the feeling that we get when finding the real love of another person. We live in a mental state of a fairy tale told by others. Possibly conversations we heard from parents or friends and even television. We place that word with such high regard that when we find someone and he/she doesn't turn out to become the soulmate we envisioned, we loose all hope of ever finding love or someone to care for us.
Bar advice. The connection of two people ready with intention and purpose of love, matrimony and family is what connects us to each other in the spirit of the soul.
Showing posts with label attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attraction. Show all posts
Monday, July 9, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Asking a guy out
In this day and age it's not wrong to ask a guy out. We do things in a modern way now like splitting the check so girls should be able to ask guys out. Are you guilty of taking a passenger seat in your personal life? Move over! We hear time and again that the burden of posing the question is a responsibility most men don't relish. Let's face it, if you wait for him, it might not happen!
It's time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don't fear, you don't have to be super forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don't see one, make one!
The Payback
If a man you've been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee. Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to "pay him back" is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts and would like to see more of him. You'll be surprised.
The Mission
Should a local attraction or place come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn't take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, "We should go sometime." Unless he's completely dense, he'll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly "Wanna check that out with me next week?" Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you're likely to get the same in return. Keep working along those lines for all other things as well.
The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there's something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. "We should go see it this week." If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren't really into the flick or have already seen it. This one's great because you've given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing. Sometimes it's good to make it seem like it's his idea. He'll feel good about himself and your night will be great.
The Tip
It's never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber cafe near the office? Something to do after work? Looking for a new bar to hang out at? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).
If you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he's an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you're not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he'll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you'll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.
Bar advice. Try to get more info about him. Draw on what info you can gather on him and use it to your advantage. Guys like it when girls are knowledgeable about things that interest them. It gives them a window of conversation because some guys just don't know what to say to a woman. Trust me, if you make it easy for them it becomes easy for you.
It's time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don't fear, you don't have to be super forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don't see one, make one!
The Payback
If a man you've been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee. Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to "pay him back" is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts and would like to see more of him. You'll be surprised.
The Mission
Should a local attraction or place come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn't take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, "We should go sometime." Unless he's completely dense, he'll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly "Wanna check that out with me next week?" Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you're likely to get the same in return. Keep working along those lines for all other things as well.
The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there's something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. "We should go see it this week." If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren't really into the flick or have already seen it. This one's great because you've given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing. Sometimes it's good to make it seem like it's his idea. He'll feel good about himself and your night will be great.
The Tip
It's never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber cafe near the office? Something to do after work? Looking for a new bar to hang out at? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).
If you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he's an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you're not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he'll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you'll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.
Bar advice. Try to get more info about him. Draw on what info you can gather on him and use it to your advantage. Guys like it when girls are knowledgeable about things that interest them. It gives them a window of conversation because some guys just don't know what to say to a woman. Trust me, if you make it easy for them it becomes easy for you.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Things that turn women off
No matter the subject it as always as useful to know what not to do, as it is to know what to do. So, today, we're going to talk about what not to do when it comes to attraction. This will give you guys a handy guide of things to avoid when interacting with any sexy woman.
First off, don't try to impress her by talking about yourself, how much money you make, the sport you like, etc., etc. Believe me, she's heard all that before, by men who are smarter, better looking, and more successful than you. Instead, ask her genuine, open-ended questions about herself, and pay close attention to her answers. Shut off the conversation in your own head, and pay attention to her. You'll be amazed at how this creates attraction.
Don't ask her if "you can take her out," or if she "has a boyfriend," or if you can "have her number." You're letting her define the relationship, which sexy women hate. In addition, questions like these activate subconscious processes that lead to autopilot answers like, NO!. It's the same thing as a salesperson asking you, "Can I help you?" and you saying, "No thanks, just looking." Switch the question to, "What specifically are you looking for?" and you'll get a better answer. Same thing when setting up a second meeting with the woman you're talking to. "Let's continue this conversation over coffee sometime," works a heck of a lot better than, "Can I take you out?"
Don't shower her with compliments about her beauty, looks, etc.
She's already heard it, and knows you're trying to "compliment your way into her pants." Idiot! Treat her like a human being, ask her about her hopes, dreams, and desires from a place of genuine interest, not the ulterior motive of getting your hands on her. Although it sounds obvious, this is actually a very subtle shift in thinking for most men. She'll pick up on the fact that you're not lusting after her, when every other guy she's talked to that day is and she'll start to wonder what's different about you. Give her a "bad time in a good way," teasing her about her looks, what she says, etc.
Attraction is a give and take, it has a rhythm to it. Switch from sincere to teasing, and back again. It's this switching that creates attraction.
Don't ask her, "So where do you want to go?" Take the lead, and suggest several places by saying "Hey, let's go here(name place)sound good to you?" is much better than the above question. If she doesn't want to go there, then ask her for suggestions. Believe it or not, this is a big breakthrough.Don't plan your life around her.Live your own. This kills more relationships than probably anything else. Women want to be with a strong guy, not a surrogate mommy to a little kid.
Bar advice.A lot of these things are common sense, but as they say, common sense ain't so common. Most of us are socially conditioned to do the things I just mentioned, and we actively have to avoid them. I know I do. Even with everything I know, I occasionally find myself slipping back into the above behaviors, and they lead to predictable results. The death of attraction.
First off, don't try to impress her by talking about yourself, how much money you make, the sport you like, etc., etc. Believe me, she's heard all that before, by men who are smarter, better looking, and more successful than you. Instead, ask her genuine, open-ended questions about herself, and pay close attention to her answers. Shut off the conversation in your own head, and pay attention to her. You'll be amazed at how this creates attraction.
Don't ask her if "you can take her out," or if she "has a boyfriend," or if you can "have her number." You're letting her define the relationship, which sexy women hate. In addition, questions like these activate subconscious processes that lead to autopilot answers like, NO!. It's the same thing as a salesperson asking you, "Can I help you?" and you saying, "No thanks, just looking." Switch the question to, "What specifically are you looking for?" and you'll get a better answer. Same thing when setting up a second meeting with the woman you're talking to. "Let's continue this conversation over coffee sometime," works a heck of a lot better than, "Can I take you out?"
Don't shower her with compliments about her beauty, looks, etc.
She's already heard it, and knows you're trying to "compliment your way into her pants." Idiot! Treat her like a human being, ask her about her hopes, dreams, and desires from a place of genuine interest, not the ulterior motive of getting your hands on her. Although it sounds obvious, this is actually a very subtle shift in thinking for most men. She'll pick up on the fact that you're not lusting after her, when every other guy she's talked to that day is and she'll start to wonder what's different about you. Give her a "bad time in a good way," teasing her about her looks, what she says, etc.
Attraction is a give and take, it has a rhythm to it. Switch from sincere to teasing, and back again. It's this switching that creates attraction.
Don't ask her, "So where do you want to go?" Take the lead, and suggest several places by saying "Hey, let's go here(name place)sound good to you?" is much better than the above question. If she doesn't want to go there, then ask her for suggestions. Believe it or not, this is a big breakthrough.Don't plan your life around her.Live your own. This kills more relationships than probably anything else. Women want to be with a strong guy, not a surrogate mommy to a little kid.
Bar advice.A lot of these things are common sense, but as they say, common sense ain't so common. Most of us are socially conditioned to do the things I just mentioned, and we actively have to avoid them. I know I do. Even with everything I know, I occasionally find myself slipping back into the above behaviors, and they lead to predictable results. The death of attraction.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
A small tip for guys.
One thing I've been noticing from going out lately is that the hottest girls are always with someone that they are friends with and know really well but they are not as hot or good looking as the main girl itself.
What happens is if you go up to some girls who are maybe 5’s to 6’s9this is out of 10 of course), and chat with them, get them giggling, etc. From there, a hot girl, maybe an 8-9 walks up and introduces herself to you. Believe it or not, a lot of hot girls roll with less attractive girls. From there on you already have the group’s comfort and appreciation so it is easy to isolate the hot girl from there.
If you had rolled up to a couple less than attractive girls and said “You seem fun, I just had to say hi." You would be chatting back and forth, when a hot 8.9 came up. This may or may not be their friend but to any of them that have been watching you from a distance and observing that you are a nice guy will be a willing participant to engage in a conversation with you.
Now could this have worked had I waited until the 8.9 was already in the set? Of course. But I’ve found it to be far easier to attract a girl if you hit the set before she arrives. You’ve already won over her friends at this point. Even if you haven’t won over her friends it can still work well if you’re already in the set. Sometimes, girls who weren’t that interested, and a third girl came up who was interested causes controversy and if her friends leave, she may end up making out at the bar with you..
On a more general note, you should be playfully bantering with all types of women. Throughout your day, you should be bringing joyful interactions to as many people as possible. The fat girl serving you at Burger King? Make her smile. You don’t have to outright flirt of course, but just a little playful misinterpretation can help the day. People, including yourself, like to feel good. Don't forget guys that you are not perfect as well and all women know this for a fact. If you thionk you are then you're in for a rude awakening. Make it real.
Bar advice. This is just a little help for those that need to find women and to approach them. It is not really what I do myself but it is the reality. I welcome your comments dearly and if you think that this doesn't work or if you say that you don't 'let' the 'other' girls become your friend (I don't mean all ladies), then you are lying to yourselves. Confidence lacks in all human beings. Man and woman.
What happens is if you go up to some girls who are maybe 5’s to 6’s9this is out of 10 of course), and chat with them, get them giggling, etc. From there, a hot girl, maybe an 8-9 walks up and introduces herself to you. Believe it or not, a lot of hot girls roll with less attractive girls. From there on you already have the group’s comfort and appreciation so it is easy to isolate the hot girl from there.
If you had rolled up to a couple less than attractive girls and said “You seem fun, I just had to say hi." You would be chatting back and forth, when a hot 8.9 came up. This may or may not be their friend but to any of them that have been watching you from a distance and observing that you are a nice guy will be a willing participant to engage in a conversation with you.
Now could this have worked had I waited until the 8.9 was already in the set? Of course. But I’ve found it to be far easier to attract a girl if you hit the set before she arrives. You’ve already won over her friends at this point. Even if you haven’t won over her friends it can still work well if you’re already in the set. Sometimes, girls who weren’t that interested, and a third girl came up who was interested causes controversy and if her friends leave, she may end up making out at the bar with you..
On a more general note, you should be playfully bantering with all types of women. Throughout your day, you should be bringing joyful interactions to as many people as possible. The fat girl serving you at Burger King? Make her smile. You don’t have to outright flirt of course, but just a little playful misinterpretation can help the day. People, including yourself, like to feel good. Don't forget guys that you are not perfect as well and all women know this for a fact. If you thionk you are then you're in for a rude awakening. Make it real.
Bar advice. This is just a little help for those that need to find women and to approach them. It is not really what I do myself but it is the reality. I welcome your comments dearly and if you think that this doesn't work or if you say that you don't 'let' the 'other' girls become your friend (I don't mean all ladies), then you are lying to yourselves. Confidence lacks in all human beings. Man and woman.
Friday, January 19, 2007
'Sex and the City' and you.
A couple of months ago, I watched a Sex and the City episode, in which Charlotte, in her never-ending quest to find true love, attends a seminar to teach her how to do just that.She drags Carrie along, who scoffs at the whole thing. She thinks both the women who got sucked into attending and the seminar leader are sad and ridiculous.
To attract the right men, the crowd is counseled to use affirmations, which Carrie finds preposterous. These suckers actually think they're going to meet guys by reciting a string of useless words!During the presentation, Charlotte raises her hand to ask the leader a question. She says something like, "I've been using my affirmations, but I still haven't found the right one."
Slightly annoyed, the leader says, you have to get out there, you have to love yourself, and so on.Carrie grabs the mic from Charlotte and insists, "She is out there."The leader says something, but Carrie drowns her out, "She is out there." As far as Carrie's concerned, the seminar is a scam. There are probably no decent men left on the planet. The good ones are married, and the rest have issues.
Now, I enjoy watching Sex and the City. It's fun. It's light. It takes my mind off more serious things.But it is not real life!
Carrie may discount the power of affirmations, but I didn't. If you aim to attract a wonderful man, you shouldn't, either.They work.Even better, they're free.Indeed, they are one of the most important methods.A girl I know told me this.
After years of dating losers, schmoozers, and No-Show Joes, I attracted a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man by using affirmations.If you want to attract a man who is worthy of you, who will add to your happiness, then decide what qualities you want in a man and write an affirmation in the present tense:
I am happily married to (or in a relationship with) a ____, ____, _____, ______ man.
Write it ten times a day. Recite it in the shower. Repeat it to yourself as you're falling asleep at night.Give it time. You could start attracting better men within weeks. If you've been hurt or have trouble trusting men, it will take more time.But keep it up. Keep it to yourself. You'll find out that it's worth it.
The girl who told me this is married now and really doing well so this advice seems to be working and it can for you as well. some may take longer but others will find it easier. desire it it will become a reality.
Bar advice.By all means, keep watching Sex and the City. Just remember that it's fiction. Few people, men or women, actually behave like its characters in Manhattan or anywhere else.
To attract the right men, the crowd is counseled to use affirmations, which Carrie finds preposterous. These suckers actually think they're going to meet guys by reciting a string of useless words!During the presentation, Charlotte raises her hand to ask the leader a question. She says something like, "I've been using my affirmations, but I still haven't found the right one."
Slightly annoyed, the leader says, you have to get out there, you have to love yourself, and so on.Carrie grabs the mic from Charlotte and insists, "She is out there."The leader says something, but Carrie drowns her out, "She is out there." As far as Carrie's concerned, the seminar is a scam. There are probably no decent men left on the planet. The good ones are married, and the rest have issues.
Now, I enjoy watching Sex and the City. It's fun. It's light. It takes my mind off more serious things.But it is not real life!
Carrie may discount the power of affirmations, but I didn't. If you aim to attract a wonderful man, you shouldn't, either.They work.Even better, they're free.Indeed, they are one of the most important methods.A girl I know told me this.
After years of dating losers, schmoozers, and No-Show Joes, I attracted a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man by using affirmations.If you want to attract a man who is worthy of you, who will add to your happiness, then decide what qualities you want in a man and write an affirmation in the present tense:
I am happily married to (or in a relationship with) a ____, ____, _____, ______ man.
Write it ten times a day. Recite it in the shower. Repeat it to yourself as you're falling asleep at night.Give it time. You could start attracting better men within weeks. If you've been hurt or have trouble trusting men, it will take more time.But keep it up. Keep it to yourself. You'll find out that it's worth it.
The girl who told me this is married now and really doing well so this advice seems to be working and it can for you as well. some may take longer but others will find it easier. desire it it will become a reality.
Bar advice.By all means, keep watching Sex and the City. Just remember that it's fiction. Few people, men or women, actually behave like its characters in Manhattan or anywhere else.
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