Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Roadblocks

We're going to talk about some roadblocks now. You may have the attitude and the moves but there are always going to be twists thrown at you along the way. Ever been stood up? Have a woman show up an hour late with little or no warning? Whine when she isn't getting her way? Sure you haven't. Why does this happen?

The truth is, most of the time this sort of behavior is your own fault. Yes, your own. It comes from your initial meetings. Either she didn't have as much fun with you as she should have. Maybe you gave an indication that you can be walked over or she just plain didn't get excited by you. These are all things you can solve by perfecting your relaxed confidence and playful attitude. That will get rid of most flaky behavior. Sometimes women do this just to see what kind of man you REALLY are! Maybe she wants to see you again but refuses your first request for her number. She might say she does that because she doesn't want to be seen as easy. What this really does is reveal who she's dealing with. How do you react to the pressure? Do you get nervous, defensive? Flee? Do you bow your head, shrink your shoulders and don't say anything?

Oftentimes the woman just wants to see if the confident face you're presenting is for real. Women have tons of tests they use on men. Most of them unconscious but after being approached by hundreds or thousands of guys over the years, women need this sort of thing to separate the wheat from the chaff. Don't be thrown. Recognize it as a test and don't let it break your character. Lots of guys know they shouldn't just cave in but they swing too far the other way, and scare women off. You want to stay playful. Liking what she decides to do in any situation isn't given huge importance in your life. You're going to have fun regardless and if she's smart she'll join in but if not, her loss.

If you're in a bar and the woman doesn't want to be led to another area, feel free to tease. You don't want to constantly try to please her because she'll know it. She'll slowly lose respect for you and set the bar higher and higher. The further you bend over backwards to please her, the less she'll like you. It's a strange world but if you make it clear that being boring, being difficult or worst of all being (legitimately) bratty isn't something you're going to allow into your life, not only will you gain her respect and pass her tests and you'll probably have to deal with such behavior a lot less.

Another example is if you're on the phone and your lady gives you a wishy-washy, "maybe", type answer when you set up a meeting, cut off the possibility of a no-show from the get-go. A strong statement telling her you dislike uncertain answers or displeasure in negativity leading to possible no-shows will set things straight. This will usually shocks a lady out of her doubt or, worst case, you'll find out early on whether she'll be there or not. Your attitude should be "I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you're welcome but if you're going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I'll look elsewhere for interesting people." As the above statement makes clear, this isn't just about early tests. This roadblock can be a hard hit. If you've got a girl you've been seeing a while but she starts getting negative or whiny, the same sort of thing applies.

Your goal is to advance into a relationship later on so get out that "attraction journal" and mark a page "tests." Write down every test you can think of. Everything that's happened to you or you can imagine happening. They can be things women do to find out about your true character. Maybe to find out if you're real or just an act or they can simply be things that test your cool and control. Then, under each entry, write down ways you can keep your cool. Lines you can use. Images you can call up to help you stay in the right frame of mind. Triggers that bring out your relaxed happy self. Leave plenty of space, because you'll constantly find new tests from them and you'll also come up with better responses over time.

Plus, when you get a very confident sharp woman, these sorts of exchanges can go back and forth almost indefinitely and you don't want to be the one to break the chain. When the sexual tension is being dialed so high, you need to have the confidence to keep bringing it further. Trust me. She'll end up ripping your clothes off but you can't change into a wimp in front of her eyes. It's like a beautiful woman smiling and revealing secretly she's got no underwear on. It will drive you crazy. You'll want her but restrain is in order as well so you don't look desperate.

Bar advice. Looking out for these these test or roadblocks may not be as easy but just remember they're there and it'll be easier if you can spot them early.

Monday, April 16, 2007

How to make it work?

Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t
seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well,
it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here
are your tools:

1.ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do
a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old
comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or
DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate.
Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that
you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And
just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things
for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one
another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself.
Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage
memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for
awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter,
order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go
for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again.
That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each
other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat
itself.

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from
subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to
communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and
it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or
adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional
counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how
to over come them and plan for future communication
difficulties.

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a
direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the
two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross
them off your list. The idea is to have goals together and work
towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos,
clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good
times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to
“hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

Bar advice. So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve
your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by
while you hold on to your relationship.Work your own magic.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Men are 'Dogs'

As dogs today are still pack animals, with the same instincts as "a pack of wolves," it’s important for dog owners to behave like the "Alpha", or leader, of the group. In the wild, dogs would follow a structure, and in the absence of a solid "alpha" leader, the "beta’s" and "omega’s" of the pack would rebel. So as a dog owner, if you don’t make it clear to the dog that YOU are the leader–by eating first, going through doorways first, etc.–it’s all over from there: these wolf-like creatures are going to do the complete opposite of what you tell them to, and even become aggressive and untamed.Sounds kind of like what happens if you let girls run all over you, doesn’t it?

If you are firm and consistent in asserting yourself as the Alpha of your dog’s "pack" (ie, the family household), he will respect you and do what he or she is told. You’ll avoid so many problems, just by taking the time to show a dog that you are the boss.This of course has to be in a loving and caring manner as well because, much like women, dogs want someone who’s in control. They don’t wan’t to take up the role of leader themselves. They’ll actually love you more when you walk around with pride and confidence.

There’s more we can apply to female attraction from alpha dog training. When a low-ranking dog rebels against the "top dog," successful dog trainers do the same things alpha wolves do in the wild. They ignore the dog for a couple days, until it comes back apologetic and willing to do what it is told. If the dog acts well upon return, he is rewarded and given the socialization and attention he needs.As you’ll learn below, you can use this same principles towards ladies you meet at a bar or club.

Of course, you can’t go overboard. A dog that obeys out of fear does not behave as well as a dog who behaves out of respect. In fact, it’s been found that being too assertive and physical with a dog will only lead to aggressive and reckless behaviors. So it pays to be firm, but not brutal. Just like with the ladies. You want to be confident and assertive, but not arrogant and mean. It will get you nothing. Women don't like that sort of behaviour.

Here are some more benefits to carrying "alpha attitude" around the ladies:

By asserting yourself as the leader,someone to be respected not feared,you gain people’s respect. As I said, females don’t want to have to adopt male leadership themselves; they just want to be around someone who’s not afraid to be a stand-up, assertive kind of man. But let me be clear, women don’t want an insecure guy who feels he has to act macho and sexist to get his buddies’ approval. Like so many jocks, a guy who naturally acts confident, and expects people to show him respect. That’s what you’re aiming for, and that’s what women who are worth your time want.

Conversely, by being the "follower" instead of the "followed," people, especially girls, will treat you as what you present. Someone who’s not a leader, someone who’s not confident, tough, and full of power; in short, someone who’s not full of value. You get what you give, so it’s up to you to give a lot! The rewards will speak for itself.

When a girl, particularly one you’ve just met at a bar or any social venue, treats you with disrespect, it’s up to you, as the "alpha male," to ignore her. Shut her out, move on, and she’ll eventually come back to you the same way a dog would, with her tail between her legs, apologetic, and hungry for your respect. But don’t address her until you’re sure you have her respect, otherwise you’re allowing her to "move up the pack," which, as with dogs, will only create future problems.This actually goes to show why guys who ignore girls, get more than those who dote on them and act needy. It’s all evolutionary.There is , however, the exception of some that are bitches and will never come back. With that in mind, who needs those. it's good to have found that out early.

Conversely, when a girl treats you well, gives you love, and yes, does as she’s told (though I’m not suggesting you guys bark out commands!), you must treat her with respect. This especially applies to girlfriends, but also a girl you’ve only known or dated shortly. Show your thanks, show your appreciation, the same way an alpha leader would display love and affection upon a well-behaved canine.

You can even apply the alpha dog training to dates. These things must be done from time to time.You must decide where to eat on a date (don’t let her choose the restaurant!), you musn’t be afraid to eat first (although social conventions do dictate that we must wait for both our plates to be served!), and you should get the choice of wine.The girl will actually respect you for it, much more so than if you bashfully gave up the choices to her. Again, retain your position as the "top dog."

Finally, you have to show that you’re an alpha not just one-on-one, but also in groups. An alpha wolf doesn’t gain his position by submitting to others in the pack.He asserts himself in front of others and makes it known that he’s the leader. That doesn’t mean you treat your buddies and strangers like crap. It just means you don’t let them push you around. In short, you must be what the guy I think has the whole "alpha attitude" down pat, Carlos Xuma, calls "being a stand-up guy." That means standing up for yourself and standing up for your girl, by not taking crap from anyone. You don’t have to be a jock to let people know they can’t push you around.

Quite the contrary. Xuma knows that in order to be big, you’ve gotta think big, and he does this himself by adopting alpha characteristics. What are some great alpha characteristics? In his 'Secrets to Becoming the Alpha Man' course, Xuma rattles off a number of them, including being:

Clever.Smart.Cunning.Ambitious.Excited.Honorable.Dominant(not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills).Stable.Fit(healthy lifestyle)Curious.Balanced.Natural

Doesn’t sound like you? No worries.Just dig deep within yourself and get that Alpha male out in the open. Watch other guys or learn from books, ebooks or videos to get that essence of alpha attitude. I know some of the things here sounds out of character for you but there are times when this needs to be done.

Bar advice. It pays to be alpha. The best part is, you don’t have to be a player to do it. The lasting reward is feeling good about yourself, and getting the girls all the other alpha males get. What’s wrong with that? When you got her you will become the Alpha and Omega(the first and the last) in her life.Woof!