Roadblocks

We're going to talk about some roadblocks now. You may have the attitude and the moves but there are always going to be twists thrown at you along the way. Ever been stood up? Have a woman show up an hour late with little or no warning? Whine when she isn't getting her way? Sure you haven't. Why does this happen?

The truth is, most of the time this sort of behavior is your own fault. Yes, your own. It comes from your initial meetings. Either she didn't have as much fun with you as she should have. Maybe you gave an indication that you can be walked over or she just plain didn't get excited by you. These are all things you can solve by perfecting your relaxed confidence and playful attitude. That will get rid of most flaky behavior. Sometimes women do this just to see what kind of man you REALLY are! Maybe she wants to see you again but refuses your first request for her number. She might say she does that because she doesn't want to be seen as easy. What this really does is reveal who she's dealing with. How do you react to the pressure? Do you get nervous, defensive? Flee? Do you bow your head, shrink your shoulders and don't say anything?

Oftentimes the woman just wants to see if the confident face you're presenting is for real. Women have tons of tests they use on men. Most of them unconscious but after being approached by hundreds or thousands of guys over the years, women need this sort of thing to separate the wheat from the chaff. Don't be thrown. Recognize it as a test and don't let it break your character. Lots of guys know they shouldn't just cave in but they swing too far the other way, and scare women off. You want to stay playful. Liking what she decides to do in any situation isn't given huge importance in your life. You're going to have fun regardless and if she's smart she'll join in but if not, her loss.

If you're in a bar and the woman doesn't want to be led to another area, feel free to tease. You don't want to constantly try to please her because she'll know it. She'll slowly lose respect for you and set the bar higher and higher. The further you bend over backwards to please her, the less she'll like you. It's a strange world but if you make it clear that being boring, being difficult or worst of all being (legitimately) bratty isn't something you're going to allow into your life, not only will you gain her respect and pass her tests and you'll probably have to deal with such behavior a lot less.

Another example is if you're on the phone and your lady gives you a wishy-washy, "maybe", type answer when you set up a meeting, cut off the possibility of a no-show from the get-go. A strong statement telling her you dislike uncertain answers or displeasure in negativity leading to possible no-shows will set things straight. This will usually shocks a lady out of her doubt or, worst case, you'll find out early on whether she'll be there or not. Your attitude should be "I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you're welcome but if you're going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I'll look elsewhere for interesting people." As the above statement makes clear, this isn't just about early tests. This roadblock can be a hard hit. If you've got a girl you've been seeing a while but she starts getting negative or whiny, the same sort of thing applies.

Your goal is to advance into a relationship later on so get out that "attraction journal" and mark a page "tests." Write down every test you can think of. Everything that's happened to you or you can imagine happening. They can be things women do to find out about your true character. Maybe to find out if you're real or just an act or they can simply be things that test your cool and control. Then, under each entry, write down ways you can keep your cool. Lines you can use. Images you can call up to help you stay in the right frame of mind. Triggers that bring out your relaxed happy self. Leave plenty of space, because you'll constantly find new tests from them and you'll also come up with better responses over time.

Plus, when you get a very confident sharp woman, these sorts of exchanges can go back and forth almost indefinitely and you don't want to be the one to break the chain. When the sexual tension is being dialed so high, you need to have the confidence to keep bringing it further. Trust me. She'll end up ripping your clothes off but you can't change into a wimp in front of her eyes. It's like a beautiful woman smiling and revealing secretly she's got no underwear on. It will drive you crazy. You'll want her but restrain is in order as well so you don't look desperate.

Bar advice. Looking out for these these test or roadblocks may not be as easy but just remember they're there and it'll be easier if you can spot them early.

When the magic fades

Being in love is the super feeling that makes everything else seem trivial in this doggy dog world. If you're in love now or ever been than you know what I mean. My mom, when I was young, use to say that people in love think that they can live on love and fresh air alone. Actually I think that most people in love probably do think that way. I know I did.

The thing is, it was so true what my mom said. People at a younger age will think that way till they get older and are in the same relationship. Many will feel the effects of what the world and all it's blocks and walls can bring. Priority changes especially when you're a girl and you got parents nagging at you for not thinking about settling down. The nagging also continues about the no good bum you've been dating for all these years. Women get more of a hard time because parents feel that their prime may go quicker and they'll be "left behind" or on the "shelf" and eventually the guy she's with may end up dumping her. Can you blame your parents about the worrying or trying to give you advice?

All said and done. In the event that you do or don't get married, what will happen when the magic fades? I've seen it happen before. Once, a guy I knew, broke up with his girlfriend of over eleven years. She was thirty four when that happened. It's easier for a guy to rebound but women will have a hard time. Why they waited to get married I don't know but I think that it was better for her that they didn't. If she became a divorcee, it would have been worse for her to get another guy. Don't know if she ever did. Never saw her again.

Most of the time when the magic is fading, there seems to be a lot of pressure, arguments, abuse, temper and other stuff. Guess you can understand what I mean? It's all part of maturity and development. Where are our priorities? Are we going to do everything for the person we are with or is it just "puppy love"? Most women I know always say they hate the guys that "play games". There are some women that do that too, actually. They fake the interest just so that they need not be alone. They lead a guy on so they have someone to go out with or just to talk to. They don't want to look single in front of family and friends. In most cases there is either no sex or bad sex in this relationships.

If we can see that there is a problem arising we need to have a proper discussion with our partner. Ironing out the issues will be much better that all the shouting, yelling and phone banging that will go on for days. Is this the person you're going to marry for the rest of your life? It's better to get out of it now, even if it was ten years together, than ending up a bloody mess later. Worse, is kids are involved. With kids involved your problems will haunt you till the day you die. Even after divorce, it will haunt you till death because the kids are a part of both of you.

My advice to this is constant reaffirmations to each other. Tell the person your appreciation of being with them. Give compliments. Give in to the other. Who doesn't like to be "right" but who likes being in the dog house? If you want to make it work you got to intensify your commitment to the person that you are with more every year down the line. This includes after marriage. Don't just think that after the chase is over that all will be well. It takes a lot of effort for that magical flame not to go out. In fact it can go out faster in marriage.

Working out all the issues is far better than battling it out. One example is to stop in the middle of an argument, take a breath and change your tone. Tell the other that you both need to discuss the issue as a team. Try it, this works. Some people I've seen can go on a yelling rampage between each other in supermarkets, malls, theaters, bars and so on. You name it. It make you wonder why they are together in the first place. Will they have endless bliss? Will you?

Bar advice. The person you're with is going to be with you for a very long time. Don't you think it's best to lay solid foundations for your relationship. This is going to be your partner. What are you willing you do, starting now?

Closing one door

Well if you noticed I haven't been on the blog for about a week. Well it just so happened that I have closed the bar. Now don't go thinking that it has to do with not making a profit. The fact is the landlord has sold the building. The new guy wants to increase the rent. Also the bar is partially exposed to the elements and with world climate change, it can be tricky to have customers come.

This really can be seen as closing one door and another opening up. Life works in a very funny way. I just got an offer from the guy who built my previous bar to come work for him in the interior design and building company that he has. It is a great opportunity. Doing both residential and commercial projects. Also, I was asked to see another site for a bar as well. This place would be more than twice the one I just closed. Still thinking about that actually.

Anyway, what I go to say here is that the blog is not going to end just like that. I can still continue but the stories will have to come from past events or ones that happen when I go to other bars for a drink. It will be silly not to keep the blog going.

Almost forgot. I met this girl at the bar just a week before but she's with someone else. What's a guy to do? Anyway, I told her I was going to blog about her and that's what I'll do in the next blog writings.

Right now I got to take a break. Recharge the batteries, so to speak, and open that next door. Some how I feel lighter on the 'load of worries' at this moment. Not sure why but I feel positive things are going to happen soon.

Bar advice. When closing one door just make sure you tie up all loose ends. Don't give people the chance to say things about you or your your character.

Nothing to lose

Some how it seems that some guys get the girl and when we look at them we wonder how they did it. He may not be all that great looking or even have deep pockets but he's got a terrific girl in his arms. This doesn't naturally mean she's a model or superstar but it can. Mostly though she's someone that most guys would like to be with themselves.

What's the secret? How is it that some guys can do it while others are cracking their heads over which new book to read or go to some dating sites to see who's just as desperate as themselves. The Internet dating sites actually do help in the sense that they give you a whole lot of info about the girl even before you contact her. That allows you to see if you're right for each other but when it comes to meeting her in person, then what?

Lot's of people do lie on the Internet dating sites like FriendFinder and some give info about things they would do with a partner, but when met personally, turn into a turtle that hides in their shell. Even if she turns out to be exactly what she says the problem still becomes apparent that guys feel like they're about to be hit by a truck if she doesn't like him. That sense of insecurity befalls him because she may not respond to him the way he'd like.

Just like when you go to a bar. You see all these wonderful, hot looking felines prancing around in their high heeled shoes, sexy dresses with low cut cleavage. You salivate till your drool hits the floor. You can't stop turning you head in all directions because you're not sure which is the hottest looking. You're hopelessly dreaming that one of them has an accident with her drink and one of her tits pops out. Suddenly you notice that one guy, who doesn't resemble even your looks, is sitting with a really sexy girl and their having a good time. How? Why? What's the story here?

The main thing that I have come to notice is, these guys have adopted an attitude that's different to the normal ways guys go about getting girls. It's just three simple words. If you asked these guys what's the secret, they'll tell you that's it's just three simple words. "Nothing to lose". This is also something that I use when I'm out for the night. It's partly inbuilt for me but others can also learn it.

The trick is to be confident and remember that you have nothing to lose if there's a negative response from the girl. There's more than one person to choose from. Oddly enough, sometimes if the girl rejects you and she later gets to know your friend and you all end up meeting together again she may actually be drawn to you. She may even tell you that she didn't know that you are actually a nice guy or she didn't know you well enough to feel comfortable with you. This is an indicator that tells you she may now be interested. It may be your best chance to at least get her number. Let's just hope that she isn't already attached with your friend. Than again she's got other friends that you may get to know.

See how the whole cycle of those three little words gets the ball rolling. Do a little test for yourself the next time you go to the next bar or club. Think of three things you'll lose if you went up to chat with her or take her out. You probably won't reach three but if you got more than that, you either worry too much or you really need help.

Bar advice. You're never going to get to the other side if you don't cross it with one foot at the time. Who knows? You may even fly when you reach the other end.

Gorgeous women Part 2

The other day Keli(not real name)came by the bar with the same friend. It was several weeks since she was there. I have her phone number as well as email address but did not contact her because she said she would come by to settle a bill for one jug that they drank but would pay for later.

When they got there, Keli was first in the door, followed by her friend. I was placing a CD in the machine. She smiled at me but never said hello. The other girl just walk behind her. They went to the seat so I went up to get their order first thinking that Keli would be courteous enough to open her mouth with a general greeting or at least make the assurance that they did not forget about the money owed. Instead, her friend just ordered the drinks.

I went and got them and brought it to the table. As I placed it on the table I said, "I thought you all forgot about the bar" No real response from them so I went to the main bar. I started to wonder what was happening. I remembered that she was in my email list of customers. I sent out my normal monthly emails to all in the list so it may have struck her that she forgot about the money and that's why they were there. Later I thought, could it be that she wasn't talking to me because she read the first blog I wrote about her and the friend.

They later asked for a snack menu. They giggled while walking away and then I saw Keli adjusting her blouse. The last time she had the tight blouse with buttons almost popping out. This time the top button was undone. What's a guy to do? Got to look, right? She is hot after all.

I was busy with other people but twice that she went to the toilets, she had to pass me but smiled only and never stopped to chat or anything. Upon the second time she went, her friend quickly called me for the bill. When I told her the price, I included the previous amount. She actually went over the amount with me twice and only after I told her about the former bill, did she pay. No arguments either. That only tells me that they knew about it and was just waiting to see if I would ask for it or had forgotten about it. When Keli got back to the seat the friend told her that what she paid. They sort of had a laugh and left without saying goodbye. Keli still just all smiles only.

I was kind of disappointed that there was no other interaction from Keli. I'm still unsure if her friend, or her, is a lesbian. Maybe she's not or even the friend but the friend seems to be in a "high class stereotype" but can't pull it off. Keli looks like the sweet girl she is but shouldn't follow others advice that are self destructive. They're both lawyers so why try and pretend that there was no debt? Why ask me twice about the amount and pay with no deliberations after a reminder about the debt? Lawyers are suppose to be honest and have integrity, not look good and get away with it.

The worse part about all this is that Keli just doesn't get it. Nobody cares if she or her friend may be a lesbian or not. The thing is any guy wants to know a gorgeous women. He'd like to talk to her or better still have her come talk to him. His ego is filled when this happens in front of other guys. After all it's only a conversation. Also, even if the friend is not a lesbian who is after her, at least the friend shouldn't be so stuck up as to think that being a lawyer makes you better than others. People like this look superficially at others and judge them. They feel that others who are not in some professional field, wealthy, business and so on, are not able to converse with them on any level or subject.

People like this have labels and classification for others but they dislike others judging them or talking about them. Keli and others like her that follow friends like this loose out on life and people that could otherwise be advantages to her in her life. Who is to say what can make you happy, smile, laugh or love. The world is made up of many different people and just like a book, don't judge it by it's cover.

Bar advice. Any lawyer should know right from wrong. Good from bad. Truth from lies. Friends from bitc.........

Helping somone in a robbery.

I just closed up the bar last Wednesday night and was on my way to a friends bar that was still open to get a few more beers and basically talk shop while I caught some of the 'eye candy' that works there. Suddenly I heard screaming before I got to the road to get a taxi.

I thought it was just a girl having arguments with her guy or something but the last words I heard her was that her bag was been taken. I saw a guy head off with a white ladies bag in hand but he ran behind a bridge staircase and I thought that it was too late to do anything as I approached.

Fortunately, as he ran towards the main road he came across people that were walking by so he made a U-turn back toward the inner road which I was on. When he saw me he tried to hide the bag behind him but I had a slight glance of him before he dashed off so I knew he was the robber. He was about twenty feet from me when I pointed at him and said to drop the bag. He just raised his hand, palm open facing me, in jesture to tell me to mind my business but I repeated to drop the bag as he got closer. I clinched my fist at this point of time and I could see people standing at the road but did nothing. He looked at the best possible way to run from me and he ducked into the shop area to go around me but I followed and after a few chased steps he flung the bag at me. I did not continue the chase as the lady was there and got her bag back.

The lady was really good looking. She did have a bruised knee from the struggle but didn't want to call the police. I asked why she came through the ally to get to the road at that hour and she said because it was after work. She owns a advertising agency on that street. Then she goes to say that she never had anyone ever try to rob her with a knife. When I heard her say that I was shocked. I never saw a weapon and the robber never produced it when I stopped him. However, to know that my life may have been in danger was sobering. She said she was going to meet friends for a beeer and I told her that I was going to do the same thing. I offered to send her all the way there but she declined.

What was funny to me was the fact that she didn't want me to follow her or help her anymore and actaully said to me politely," you don't have to bring me as I can make it on my own". I asked, not her, what her name was and told her mine then parted ways with her at the corner of the street. This all happened after I was applauded by the people that saw the incident. For her, and her bruised knee, it seemed trivial. Unsure why?

Any appriciative person would be happy to make a new firend. Buy them a beer, get a number or be the first to ask the persons name. This lady seemed to have other things on her mind and lacked any thankfulness or gratefulness. Would she have behaved the same had I gotten her bag back after a knife fight with the robber?

I thought about the whole thing later and concluded that some people are just like that. Still, I would have done the same thing and wouldn't expect anything in return but I hope there are better appriciative people in this world.

Bar advice. It's good to help people if need be but if you're not sure and you feel you're in danger, my advice, abandon the idea. It's nice to be a hero, just don't be a dead one. Material things are not worth loosing your life over..

Little dragon's broken wing

My friend, the girl I call hot ass, came to the bar the other day. She said she fell on her knee at pole dancing practice and needed a small ice pack to put on. She then said that she had to strip down to her 'shorts' before applying it. A good thing that there were just a few customers there because when she took them off it was like underwear.

I thought that she had a shorts on but after the pants came off I was stunned. I assumed that she'd pull one out of the big bag that she normally carries but she just sat on the bar stool and took out a cigarette to smoke. Her other hand held the ice pack in place.

When I asked about the shorts she said that those were it. Confused, I asked what she meant as those looked like undergarments to me but she replied that in the dancing world it was shorts and they preformed in them. My heart liked them but my head told me that I had to do something about it. It seemed a little to inappropriate for the bar.

I got her to come into the bar counter and sit there so she'd be out of all other people's view. This was only till someone came up to the bar counter to pay then they got to see all of her. Those that did also started to ask her what happened but it was more of having a few minutes of extra glances at her than anything else.

I started to joke with her despite her pain with all the moaning she did and she sort of laughed and almost cried at the same time. I went on to say that she was the little dragon with a broken wing because of her zodiac sign. Interruptions by other customers didn't help either and the 'broken wing' was still hurting her.

To add fire to the fuel I said that my desire to catch a better glimpse of her 'hot ass' was finally fulfilled. She smiled when I showed her a picture I took of her from behind to capture her image. Later she called a friend to buy some bandages so it could be wrapped. The friend arrived half and hour later and was also surprised to see her inside the bar area half naked with me present.

After a while we took off the ice pack, let it return to normal temperature then I proceeded to bandage it. I gave her a Chinese liniment to apply first before wrapping the knee so it help to ease the pain. She then tells me that she was going down for more practice in the class below. This Aries/Dragon just could not sit too long.I got a couple of photos of her after that but I had to promise not to add them in this blog so it's not here.

The best part was when I messaged her about her knee, the next day, and got the reply that she was fine. Later that night she stopped by to say hi before heading down for salsa dance practice. What a girl.

Lesson of note is that when someone is comfortable with you they will place a trust in you that even if embarrassed or not they can count on your help. Trust handed to you must also be appreciated. This can be reversed in either a male or female situation.

Bar advice. Personally I think that one should rest an injury before doing more on it because if we tend to push too hard we may end up making it worse. Strong or not.

Harvest moon

A Harvest Moon appears brighter to the eye than any other full Moon. It's the closest full moon to the autumnal equinox, and a traditional symbol of benevolence and fertility. Farmers finished their work in the fields by the light of this Moon. Its appearance, usually toward the end of September(September 26, 2007), marks the beginning of the end of harvest season and the start of a new life cycle.

The symbolic meanings of the harvest moon have been celebrated throughout the ages and across cultures. Its significance as a harbinger of new beginnings hasn't diminished a bit even if harvest time these days is more a feeling than a literal event for most. Indeed, the crispness of autumn inspires a feeling of change and renewal, and the intense, gold-orange shine of the harvest moon seems to lend energy, strength and vitality to those of us basking in its glow!

What changes in your life will accompany the transition from summer to autumn? Take this advice if you're travelling. Weather has been really bad all over the world so take precaution and go online or check conditions before heading out or making plans. Nowadays its hard to know what dangers can happen. I personally think that the second half of the year will end up better. Things will iron out itself and people will start to make the change towrds the winter and Christmas joy. For the moment though, frolic this fall under the harvest Moon.

Bar advice. Keep that chin up. the year is still not over yet and things will become better soon. Belive it and will be.

Tips to attract the opposite sex

If you want to know how to attract the opposite sex, read these tips.

The first tip on how to attract the opposite sex is to stand out in a crowd. Being the center of attention will create the illusion that you are worth getting to know. After all, everyone else evidently thinks so, so why shouldn't’t that special she or he as well? If you can’t do or say something to draw a crowd (no, not something weird) then simply stand in the center of the room. It works.

Bars are the exception to this standing in the center rule. Yes, it’s still good to be the center of attention, but for some reason the best place to get noticed in a bar is in the corner. No, not on a timeout facing the wall, or looking like a scared little wallflower but sitting at the end of the bar. Don’t sit at a table. You’re less approachable in a bar when you’re at a table, and someone of the same sex is bound to ask to join you if the bar is crowded.

Color is important in your attempt to attract the opposite sex. Not only can it help you attract the opposite sex but you can also have some control of which of the opposite sex you attract by choosing the colors of your wardrobe.Color consultants have studied color’s effect on the opposite sex and the determination is that most women find men who wear blue the most attractive of those wearing any other color.

Blue conveys a message of stability, constancy, dependability and faithfulness. Of course, the fact that clothes and their colors match that the tie coordinates with that blue suit and the socks aren’t green, helps make a good impression as well.

For women who want to know how to use color to attract the opposite sex, the generally safe color is pink or peach. It makes a woman’s skin glow with a look of health, no matter what her skin tone is.These are the colors that convey soft and vulnerable too, which macho males are attracted to. Other colors can work as well but those are far the best for attraction purposes. Don't go overboard and end up looking like a freak show.

Now, if you want to make sure you don’t convey vulnerability, if you’re strong and you want the man to know it and you want to be sure and find a guy for whom this isn’t a threat, then wear a deep red, plum or burgundy. Red is certainly the most sensual of colors, but it’s also the most powerful too.

The two types of men that red will attract are those attracted to powerful women and those who are interested primarily in sex. With red you might find the man who isn’t threatened by your strength, but you also may have to weed through a lot of horny chaff to finally find him. If you want to find out how not to attract the opposite sex wear yellow or green. They’re sure to stay away in droves.

Ladies should wear a nice light lipstick. Preferably a glossy one as this makes the lips seem more inviting to the guys. Don't use it to the office. You'll look more like a bitch than a boss. It's more of a attraction tool. Guys, remember to wear a good pair of shoes. Women always look there when assessing a man. Men should comb their hair, unless you've got the bald look going, because you will seem neat and fresh looking to her.

When meeting a man/woman, speak with courtesy. Manners play an important part in the way the other person feels about you. It tells them that you were brought up right. Also, be confident. You may only have one shot at that stage. If you blow it then you have only yourself to blame. Think before saying or doing anything.

Bar advice. The best thing that I can say to help you would be to find out more on tips to attract the opposite sex before you go out there and fall fall flat on your face.

Getting her number

You guys out there are lame sometimes. Getting her number is a skill set all it's own. Most throwaway phone numbers are a result of the man getting the number too fast.

First of all, if you’re at a bar and meet a girl, don’t talk to her for only five minutes and then start getting her number and leave thinking you’re going to score. After all, what’s the point of getting a phone number in the first place. It's to meet up later and continue the seduction, right?

You had her right there at the bar, right then. You could have used that opportunity to build value with her right then. You were on a “date” with her right THEN but you didn't recognize it. So getting her number so that you can meet up with her later, and walking away from the interaction in the moment is totally counterproductive and nonsensical.

Also, if you start getting her number without going through the proper preliminary steps, then yes, the girl might be digging you, but in reality you didn’t have enough social value to her for her to want to start an ongoing, dating relationship with you.

A girl who with a social value of 8 might give her number to you if she perceives you to have a social value of 6 but that doesn’t mean she’ll follow up with you. Getting her numbers is only solid when you both have the same social value. What is this social value I'm talking about? Well, it's basically a persons standard in their relationship, dating, sex, love and self confidence. Where you stand with him or her and your compatibility can pretty much be discovered if you know what to look for. It will be a waste of time if you both are not suited for each other. Break ups can be hurtful. So unless you're just looking for hot sex without strings then aim low.

Guys, building a peak social value of 10 is not easy so work hard to get there. It's not you who should be worried if you're at that peak yet but it's how she sees you that counts. Will she be interested when you meet her or when you ask for her number. As time goes on and you start to develop better interaction skills and seduction methods so just beware of one thing. Don't blow it by thinking that you can get any girl and become a arrogant jack ass. Women will drop you like a stone if they see that sort of behaviour and if word starts getting around that you're like that you will have a hard time repairing the damage.

Developing those skills and nurturing your social value is a personal responsibility. Also, in the company of other guys you will be the dominant, stand out guy there if the rest are lacking. This gives you better chances with the ladies. Women will see it very clearly even if you don't. You'll be amazed that you can get more than a phone number.

Bar advice. When you just meet a girl, stick to a game plan. The last thing on your mind should be sex just because she gave you her phone number.

Touching someone

Last Saturday Kat messaged me on my cell phone because she thought I was not opening the bar. Actually I opened late a little and she came up to see me. I was setting up the tables when she arrived. She sat there and started smoking. Just as I turned to ask her a question she lit another cigarette using the end of the first one before stubbing it out.

She must have missed smoking for a week and the fact that she would be going to her salsa classes probably made her smoke more. Where she sat had only two chairs. She sat on one and placed her bag on the other. When I joined her she was going to move the bag but I told her that I'd get another chair. The reason was that I could sit nearer and next to her. She smiled as I sat next to her. It was obvious that she knew that I knew that she knew what I was doing. It's called making a 'move'.

Even for someone like my self, touching someone is hard sometimes. The whole animal instinct of guys starts to emerge and women sense the tension that both people have. Don't get me wrong, we haven't done anything but, I do think that we like each other and we are comfortable chatting about anything. Touching just adds to the comfort zone. What's wrong with it? Absolutely nothing. I still got to remember that she's my customer although now a friend as well.

I sat next to her for sometime admiring her figure and of course her 'hot ass' as I called it because she sometimes wear these body hugging outfits for classes and being tight, every detail is revealed. So shoot me. After all I'm a guy. We sometimes ogle at the beautiful form of women. What's wrong with that. She knows she has it and women have to flaunt it proudly especially when gravity hasn't applied it's force on the form as yet.

She needed a lighter to smoke some more and so I got it but I put my arm around her and lit it. The fact that she didn't mind made me feel at ease. If she had said something or told me she was uncomfortable with it then we would have an invisible wall of stress between us from that point onwards. Luckily, that was not the case. I did, however, stop sitting next to her and I even told her that I felt too tempted to do something so I was taking away the seat next to her. I guess it was better not to move too fast as well.

We continued our conversation about her living on her own and her balcony space that she has. Also about the room mates that lives with her. Students from China so conversations are pretty much non existent except when she needs a condom in the middle of the night and had to ask one of them there. She said that when she asked for the condom the guy didn't understand her. Thoughts of getting his penis out and demonstrating the procedure of putting it on went through her mind but she suddenly remembered to say the words, "Sex", to him which brought the latex product out of the drawer. If a girl came up to me and said those word in the middle of the night, irregardless of what language we spoke, I would have had my clothes off in two seconds. What was that guy thinking?

Now I remember. She said he may be gay. Well, his loss. Now all I got to do is figure out who the condom was for. Actually, our conversations are rugged, mature and open to everything. So far.

I really do enjoy my meetings with her and although it's for brief periods, she never fails to put a smile on my face. Great gal but I feel she still searching for something in life that even she can't understand or see in herself as yet. It seems that we both need this little interlude of meetings to stray to some adolescent contact to cut out the world for a while. I hope that she thinks like this as well and touching will just have to slowly take it course.

Bar advice. Some moves should never be done too quickly. Take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with the other. Touching the others mind and heart comes first. It will happen when it happens.

Back blogging again

I was having some difficulties with the PC and at work in the bar so haven't been able to add to the blog for a while. Anyway things were a little hectic trying to sort out the Internet marketing business that I'm in.

Busy or not, I just had to get back to this quickly. Those reading may be wondering what happened to me. Recently met a nice girl and 'No' didn't find her on friendfinder or anything like that. Just met her at the bar and we got to talk. She was kind of hot and one thing led to another and we ended up in each others arms. She is from the Philippines. Educated and very business orientated. She told me how she was doing business over the Internet and found it a little hard. That's very true actually but some like My Money Dragon aren't. There's also the OTO Goldmine and Megabooster that can make you money quite easily. If you know Google then you can use Adsense on your site like the ones on the right of this blog or you can join the Adwords Miracle that can make you a small fortune as well.

If you don't know, affiliate marketing, is worth a look into. What is affiliate marketing? Well, basically it's the selling of other peoples stuff. You join their company and get a share of the profits. All you got to do is promote the replicated website with your code on it and earn the cash.Let's say you joined Anbes ( Brest serum) and wanted to make money. all you had to do is join the affiliate site and when people buy from your replicated site or if people join through your site, you'll make money. It's that simple and best of all affiliate sites are free.

After telling her all these things, I kind of got her a little confused. That's because she didn't know there was so many ways to earn money on the Internet.Getting back to her. She was only here for two days and we had a great time. I know people think that if you're from the Philippine or one of the other South East Asian countries then there's going to be a problem. Some people are not like that and with the experience that I have I can tell if someone is out to play me or not. This girl seemed to have her head on her sholders and was really interested to get the info to improve herself. It's always good to see people trying to better themselves and their lives.

Bar advice 律師忠告 . Trying to improve one's self is far better than moping about it. get off your ass and help yourself. Dreaming about making things better and actually doing it are two different things. I gave you examples of some of them earlier. Start somewhere.

How to meet women tonight

You go out with some buddies for a night on the town, hoping to meet a girl to have some fun with. You head to a bar, get a table, and order drinks. The place is alive, and you and your buddies are having a good time looking at all the pretty girls except nobody is meeting any them. You want to talk to them, but you feel more comfortable sitting around with your friends talking about how you would like to go home with a girl that night. Instead, you all end up leaving the same way you came in.Together.

This is a pretty common occurrence among the lovelorn bachelor. This is a symptom of what I like to call the "comfort zone". Basically, everyone has a comfort zone. This is a state of mind where people are surrounded by that which is familiar.Familiarity breeds complacency, which can keep you from taking the action necessary to achieve your goals, because that action introduces uncertainty into your life. This is something the comfort zone likes to keep at bay.

So when you want to meet a woman, you need to know how to break out of this comfort zone.How do you do this? The answer is self-evident. You must learn to meet women by yourself.

Friends can be a great asset, but most of the time, going out with friends actually hinders one's ability to meet women. Not just because of the comfort zone factor, but because other guys who don't know what they're doing with girls can actually ruin the interactions you have with them. Be it by jealousy or ineptitude.

So the best way to counter this is to leave your friends behind. This doesn't have to be permanant but only when you are on the prowl for girl.But the prospect of going out by oneself can strike fear into the hearts of men. After all, doesn't going out by yourself signal to everyone that you're a loser with no friends? Doesn't it make you look creepy? The answer to both these questions is:NO!!!!!

The simple act of going out on your own can shake your comfort zone, because you have no anchors to keep you there. Often your friends will act as an anchor to your comfort zone that keep you from approaching women. And it is easier to break out of this comfort zone without those anchors present. Plus, you don't have to worry about failing with women and being judged by your friends if they're not around.

But the most powerful thing about going out by yourself is that it puts your focus on what you are doing. This means that every interaction you have is without distraction, so it is more easily examined and the problems you had are more easily identified. This allows you to spot your sticking points more quickly and correct them.

Not only that, but being out by yourself gives you the freedom of flexibility when it comes to where you're going and who you talk to. If you're bored with a place, you can leave and go to another one. If you want to talk to a girl who your friends might poke fun at you for, you can. Not only this, but you're free to mess up the interactions you have, because chances are, no one there will ever see you again, so you don't have to worry about what others think of you.

But like all things, knowing what to say will help you to go out by yourself and succeed at increasing your ability to approach. There are many examples of Openers to say in the book 'The Art of Attraction'by Joseph Matthews but some guys will need to know how to handle the inevitable question "Where are your friends?"

Something I've used to great effect is the answer "Oh, they're around." This simple dismissive statement not only answers the question, but as far as anyone knows, you're telling the truth. If you want to take it a step further, I've even used this as an Opener at times I've been out by myself. The "My Friends Ditched Me" Opener.
This works good whenever you're out somewhere by yourself. Basically, you approach your target or a group, and say "Do you guys have any friends who got split up by someone they both liked?"

Using this, you set the stage that you're out by yourself because, well, unlike your friends, you're not lame! Not only that, you throw in a nice Drama Opener in there to engage the group. And if you're still too shy to go out by yourself, then try this little trick.When you go out with your friends, ditch them. Go off on your own and leave them behind for a while, then meet up with them later. This can be quite an effective method if your friends don't mind you leaving!

If you don't know what a Drama Opener is, check it out in the book 'The Art of Approaching'. It's got TONS of openers and other things to say so that you never have to worry about how you're going to meet women again. If you're one of those guys who gets tounge-tied around beautiful girls, or if your mind likes to "blank" out on you, then you definitely need to check out the book right now.


Bar advice.Once you learn the secrets unleash in the book, you'll know how to meet any woman, any time, anywhere you may be.Whether you're alone or not!

Cloud talk

Bar advice. Things that are worth while and some that are idiotic. The meaning of life is ???

Do you need visual romance

This is a pretty amazing movie, that does get graphic in nature and crosses the line in parts of what is art and what is not. Very good story in which Caroline Ducey goes out looking for love when her boyfriend, Sagamore Stevenin refuses to pay any attention to her. Caroline's character finds love in many different forms, men and means. From picking up a lover at a bar (Rocco Siffredi), to finding an older man into S&M, to having a quickie on a set of stairs by a total stranger (which I think is the best segment). A great film from Catherine Breillat.


Bar advice. This is what romance can be like. No boundaries, age or uncertanties. We all have them. We are , after all, human.

Ahhhh! Romance

Everyone knows that part of dating is romance, maybe I am easy to please, but I think I have known some pretty romantic women in my day. I would love to hear about some of your most romantic experiences.

There are so many romantic memories, many more, but the memories have faded over time. There are some memories that will never fade; one in particular. I think that the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for me was when a particular someone did a very special thing for me. She made me a meal while I was sleeping. The thing was it wasn't just the meal. We were working the night before at the bar and only went to bed at about 4.30pm that morning and the next day was Sunday ( we don't work on that day) but she got up to go to go to the market and buy the food to make the meal. The romance was what she did and not what she cooked for me. In fact, I can't even remember what we ate. It doesn't really matter because what's important is that I remember what she did. My heart melts when I think back at those things and when I see her smile.

Bar advice.The most romantic things are the little things, things that have a shared meaning, things that are intimate, and personal. Those are the memories that shine the brightest, and I will cherish them forever; maybe I am just easy to please, or just maybe I recognize what truly comes from the heart.

Men are 'Dogs'

As dogs today are still pack animals, with the same instincts as "a pack of wolves," it’s important for dog owners to behave like the "Alpha", or leader, of the group. In the wild, dogs would follow a structure, and in the absence of a solid "alpha" leader, the "beta’s" and "omega’s" of the pack would rebel. So as a dog owner, if you don’t make it clear to the dog that YOU are the leader–by eating first, going through doorways first, etc.–it’s all over from there: these wolf-like creatures are going to do the complete opposite of what you tell them to, and even become aggressive and untamed.Sounds kind of like what happens if you let girls run all over you, doesn’t it?

If you are firm and consistent in asserting yourself as the Alpha of your dog’s "pack" (ie, the family household), he will respect you and do what he or she is told. You’ll avoid so many problems, just by taking the time to show a dog that you are the boss.This of course has to be in a loving and caring manner as well because, much like women, dogs want someone who’s in control. They don’t wan’t to take up the role of leader themselves. They’ll actually love you more when you walk around with pride and confidence.

There’s more we can apply to female attraction from alpha dog training. When a low-ranking dog rebels against the "top dog," successful dog trainers do the same things alpha wolves do in the wild. They ignore the dog for a couple days, until it comes back apologetic and willing to do what it is told. If the dog acts well upon return, he is rewarded and given the socialization and attention he needs.As you’ll learn below, you can use this same principles towards ladies you meet at a bar or club.

Of course, you can’t go overboard. A dog that obeys out of fear does not behave as well as a dog who behaves out of respect. In fact, it’s been found that being too assertive and physical with a dog will only lead to aggressive and reckless behaviors. So it pays to be firm, but not brutal. Just like with the ladies. You want to be confident and assertive, but not arrogant and mean. It will get you nothing. Women don't like that sort of behaviour.

Here are some more benefits to carrying "alpha attitude" around the ladies:

By asserting yourself as the leader,someone to be respected not feared,you gain people’s respect. As I said, females don’t want to have to adopt male leadership themselves; they just want to be around someone who’s not afraid to be a stand-up, assertive kind of man. But let me be clear, women don’t want an insecure guy who feels he has to act macho and sexist to get his buddies’ approval. Like so many jocks, a guy who naturally acts confident, and expects people to show him respect. That’s what you’re aiming for, and that’s what women who are worth your time want.

Conversely, by being the "follower" instead of the "followed," people, especially girls, will treat you as what you present. Someone who’s not a leader, someone who’s not confident, tough, and full of power; in short, someone who’s not full of value. You get what you give, so it’s up to you to give a lot! The rewards will speak for itself.

When a girl, particularly one you’ve just met at a bar or any social venue, treats you with disrespect, it’s up to you, as the "alpha male," to ignore her. Shut her out, move on, and she’ll eventually come back to you the same way a dog would, with her tail between her legs, apologetic, and hungry for your respect. But don’t address her until you’re sure you have her respect, otherwise you’re allowing her to "move up the pack," which, as with dogs, will only create future problems.This actually goes to show why guys who ignore girls, get more than those who dote on them and act needy. It’s all evolutionary.There is , however, the exception of some that are bitches and will never come back. With that in mind, who needs those. it's good to have found that out early.

Conversely, when a girl treats you well, gives you love, and yes, does as she’s told (though I’m not suggesting you guys bark out commands!), you must treat her with respect. This especially applies to girlfriends, but also a girl you’ve only known or dated shortly. Show your thanks, show your appreciation, the same way an alpha leader would display love and affection upon a well-behaved canine.

You can even apply the alpha dog training to dates. These things must be done from time to time.You must decide where to eat on a date (don’t let her choose the restaurant!), you musn’t be afraid to eat first (although social conventions do dictate that we must wait for both our plates to be served!), and you should get the choice of wine.The girl will actually respect you for it, much more so than if you bashfully gave up the choices to her. Again, retain your position as the "top dog."

Finally, you have to show that you’re an alpha not just one-on-one, but also in groups. An alpha wolf doesn’t gain his position by submitting to others in the pack.He asserts himself in front of others and makes it known that he’s the leader. That doesn’t mean you treat your buddies and strangers like crap. It just means you don’t let them push you around. In short, you must be what the guy I think has the whole "alpha attitude" down pat, Carlos Xuma, calls "being a stand-up guy." That means standing up for yourself and standing up for your girl, by not taking crap from anyone. You don’t have to be a jock to let people know they can’t push you around.

Quite the contrary. Xuma knows that in order to be big, you’ve gotta think big, and he does this himself by adopting alpha characteristics. What are some great alpha characteristics? In his 'Secrets to Becoming the Alpha Man' course, Xuma rattles off a number of them, including being:

Clever.Smart.Cunning.Ambitious.Excited.Honorable.Dominant(not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills).Stable.Fit(healthy lifestyle)Curious.Balanced.Natural

Doesn’t sound like you? No worries.Just dig deep within yourself and get that Alpha male out in the open. Watch other guys or learn from books, ebooks or videos to get that essence of alpha attitude. I know some of the things here sounds out of character for you but there are times when this needs to be done.

Bar advice. It pays to be alpha. The best part is, you don’t have to be a player to do it. The lasting reward is feeling good about yourself, and getting the girls all the other alpha males get. What’s wrong with that? When you got her you will become the Alpha and Omega(the first and the last) in her life.Woof!

A night with 3 ladies and myself

The night was a little chilly because of all the rain but it was a good day at the bar. These 3 ladies had come up because they heard the music. I wasn't sure if they were into what I was playing but as the night went on they kept ordering more drinks.

The place was a little busy so no time to chit chat but eventually as the night worn down I had to check if they need any more booze. Then they started to talk to me. Initially they commented about the song choices and how they were enjoying it. Music does bring people together even if they were younger than me.Mostly it was about the artist, old music, new music and what the people of today and yesterday were listening to and the fact that a lot of new artist do a cover version of other people's songs. It's also a nice 'ice breaker' to start a conversation.

Being the last customers, I was asked to sit and join them at their table so I got my beer. The topic soon started to change to relationships, guys, girls, expectations and lots more. Some of the things that we talk about were simple stuff but some were a little more indepth but it was really frank and open.That was great because it shows that a lot of younger people d9o think about this stuff and try to understand their partners that their with or at least are trying to.

They bombarded me with a lot of 'guy' questions. I guess after telling them that I was much older and the fact that we were all drinking, it made it easier for them to open up and ask some intense questions. I'm sure that they would have loved to ask more stuff and all avenues of what a guy wants and thinks.I'm referring to both of his heads as well. Maybe that will come up the next time. Frankly, I was checking them out. They seemed nice and interesting. Good figures and intelligent as well. What they didn't know is that I too was getting a lot of insight into the workings of the female mind and here I had three of them.

It struck me that these girls, although friends, saw and felt differently about guys. Some knew more than others and some felt differently about certain issues. Things like why a guy does this or why do guys say that? Even to bring it down to genetics. These are hard things to answer but I told them that I could only give them my perspective and analysis on what maybe going through their minds and why they do them, seeing that I'm a guy as well.

Ladies, here are some insightful tips about guys. Make them work for it. Don't put out too quickly, if you know what I mean. Just as I was sitting there I could smell the perfume, check them out as they walked back and fort from the ladies room, looking at the ass as the moved away from the table and then checking out their breast as they were coming back. What I'm getting at is that guys like to look. Even if he's married and won't go any further than that, he will still look. It's a guy thing. He may have a solid, beautiful, sexy girlfriend or wife and he'll still look. Women can't help looking at shoes when they pass a store but for guys it's cleavage. These two things causes the same effect on the different genders.It's true people. We guy's have to look. With all the naughty modern day clothing, can you blame a guy. Don't forget you girl's wear that stuff just to make us look.

Women have to play smart. Find out more details about men and then you can have a great relationship. Whenever I see two people falling out after a few years it's sad We've all gone through it and what we need is insight about each other. One little thing that women need to do is let the guy do the chasing. The male instincts go all the way back to the caveman days. That's instilled in him by nature but letting him crave you and chase you longer puts you in the driving seat. Please don't over do it or he'll stray away to someone else if you're not going to even give him a kiss. A reward like that is all it takes to fuel his fire.

An example of this caveman ways is what guys do if they are with someone and another guy comes along. It doesn't matter if he's a friend or not. Imagine 3 people in a conversation. If the lady is having a good time conversing with the other guy the first guy(that was with her) will start to lean in more. Maybe put his arm around her on on her leg or even give her a kiss on the cheek before he excuses himself to go to the toilet. Why is this so? Well the male instinct in him is telling him to show the other guy his dominance over the situation and him. It has nothing to do with her.It's a clear message to the other guy to know that the girl is with him. In the caveman days that's how it was. Territory and possessions are important to guys.

Bar advice. There are a lot of other things that can be said about the matter and everyone is different. This has been going on for so long and it isn't going to end anytime soon. One last thing to reflect on. When women are looking for guys, they want to go to that 'special place'...men just need a place.

P.S. The title suggested that it was a night of lustful sex between 3 women and a guy but it wasn't. See, it's a guy thing.

Meeting women in bars and on the street

So you want to know how to meet girls in areas with plenty of them. Here are the situations First: The bars and clubs where the music is so loud, where there are too many people with little or no space to move, and the girls are dancing with themselves,. The main idea is that it is very hard and almost pointless to start a conversation in these areas. How do I do it?

Second: How do I meet girls who are walking along the street maybe going somewhere. Like on their way to work or shopping or somewhere else. The point is how do people do this to with women. But here, its almost considered weird because you pop out of nowhere and she's not expecting it.

Finally, what do you do when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend? Should you leave her alone or continue your business of getting her? What if she is totally in love with her boyfriend, how do you win her over?

Okay, first, bars and clubs are very difficult venues. Unless you're specially suited to the party style nightlife, these venues will be a bit daunting and even if you are predisposed to this type of pick up, you will still have to deal with lots of competition from other men. That said, it's not impossible to meet women in nightclubs. But it will require you to be a little more outgoing and aggressive than other venues.Unless she's a working girl then there's no problem except the money as price.

Here's stuff that you can do. When you're in a club, you tend to like to hang out in open-air areas where you can talk to other people easier. Patios that are right outside the club can be good for this. Most clubs will have some form of outdoor area where you can hang out especially places like New York and Los Angeles and even Singapore (Starting in July 2007) where you're not allowed to smoke inside. The dance floor can also be quite effective. If you like to dance, go out there and try dancing with the women who are dancing by themselves. If they're not into it, move on. If they are then it's play time! Also, keep in mind the time at which you're going to the club. Usually, the later it gets, the easier it is to pick up a girl (this is because as it gets later, people are more predisposed to "hook up" due to alcohol, desperation, boredom, etc.) so think about that.

Second, to approach women on the street takes a bit of finesse. People do tend to be a bit more private than in many parts of the world. My best advice in this respect is to actually follow the girl for a bit and see where she's going. If she stops off at a coffee shop or a bus stop, or whatever, that is the time to approach her! If it looks like she's going someplace you can't follow her into (like her home or office for instance) then you'll have to take the chance and try approaching her cold. But make it a quick approach and include a time constraint ("I know you're on your way somewhere, this will only take a second..."), get her number as quick as you can, then move on.

Finally, when it comes to the "boyfriend" thing, that's a matter of personal taste. Some guys don't want to mess with that, others don't care. The thing is, most women aren't that committed to their boyfriends, so it's not as big of an obstacle as you might think.The important thing to do in this situation is to try and "read" the woman. Sometimes, a girl will tell you she has a boyfriend when she really doesn't because she wants to politely reject you (and sometimes she really does have a boyfriend and wants to stay faithful to him). If this is the case, you have to look at the signals she's giving you to see if she's actually into you or not. If a woman does like you and is in fact into you, she will usually withhold the fact that she has a boyfriend. And if she does bring it up, she wants you to take the lead and "sweep her off her feet" so she won't have to feel guilty about cheating on him. So when that's the case, it's time to pump up the aggressiveness on your pick up.

Bar advice. If you learn how to read a woman properly then you'll get somewhere. Don't fear rejection to the point that you'll become the oldest bachelor among your friends. If you need help then I suggest you get some help from books or ebooks on the subject

First impressions

Always look your best. I know this sounds really obvious but you'd be surprised by how many men don't understand the importance of this simple tip. You never know when the girl of your dreams will turn up, or where. And it’s become a bit of a cliché because it’s true. First impressions really do count. Here are some figures to consider from my bar observations.

If you make a Good first impression on a woman, you have a 90% chance of ever getting with her at that point (10% of women for whatever reason will be unreachable for most men at any point – she might like women herself etc). If you make a bad first impression your chances with her reduce drastically to just 20%. This means that to make her attracted to you after the first 3 minutes of meeting her will be incredibly difficult if her first impressions of you were bad. It’s the difference between climbing a mountain and using a helicopter to fly up one. Good first impressions means you’re on your way to the top in the helicopter, bad first impressions means you have a difficult climb to success. No helicopters for you? Honestly, I can't stress this enough - always try to look your best.

Here 5 S’s of first impressions. Shave. Shower. Style. Smell. Shoes. Remember these 5 S’s and always take care of them before you go out. Why are shoes the number 5 S? Your shoes are the first thing a woman really notices about your clothing and hence your appearance. Make sure your shoes are clean and fashionable. What you wear is very important. I could try to recommend a certain look but as with all things fashionable by the time you read this it may have changed. Get the latest FHM magazine or other fashionable man's magazine's and imitate the styles you see there. Most women don't really care what labels you are wearing as long as you look good so you don't have to spend too much money on clothing.

Many guys that dress better usually comment on how strange they feel wearing clothes they are uncomfortable in, but nine times out of 10 they start to feel natural and even confident wearing their new wardrobe within days. Make sure you smell good. Again this is extremely important. Remember how you feel when a woman walks by you and she smells so good - you feel an instant attraction even though you don't know her - well, that's how women feel too. Wear a good quality cologne, but don't spray too much. One squirt on both sides of the neck, and one squirt on both wrists - maximum. You don't want to smell too overpowering. I recommend Cool Water by Davidoff or John Paul Gautier for Men (often called JPG love juice because women love it) if they don’t sell it where you are try to order some from abroad, this stuff is great!

By the time you have slowly evolved from your old self to the new one I recommend that you go to a bar decked out in your new outfit and shoes, hair combed and smelling nice, and sit at the bar counter and order a drink. Small piece of advice- sit near the toilets because the girls will need to use them as well. Once some sort of eye contact has been made she will make that trip to the loo just so she can pass you. It's a good thing you're wearing some great smelling cologne huh? This may even be a conversational piece for here. Hopefully she might ask you what sort it is and that's your chance to connect with her and try to at least get her number.

Bar advice. You will like the new you once the chicks are throwing themselves at you. Sir Winston Churchill once said " Clothes make the man".