Bar Advice 酒吧忠告

The Advice We Get About Our Relationship

2012-01-03T03:05:00.001+08:00

I've seen so many situations where a relationship between two people have been jeopardized by other people like family members, friends, colleagues, etc. These people, may at times be genuinely concerned but on numerous occasions they are not.

The Advice We Get About Our Relationship can occasionally be damaging. Sometimes our best friends say bad things about the person we are with because they may have feelings of loss of your friendship or feel like someone splitting up a good team between you two. There is also, at times, jealousy involved where a friend just can't find a partner and if you are involved with someone they advise you that the person you're with isn't right for you. Some may even spread rumors or lies in hopes of breaking you up.

Office colleagues working together have a tendency to have an office romance or even sexual encounters where it is a mutual understanding, including affairs with married people. However, if someone gets attached and is in a relationship suddenly the whole dynamics change. Where a sexual friendship is suddenly interrupted, people have feelings stirred to the surface that they didn't realize was alive. This could also be anything as low key as daily flirting in the office and not actually having sex with that person but it remains the same feeling.

Being deprived access to someone because a third party has stepped in could drive some people to do ugly things and sure enough they provide all sorts of warnings and bad advice to place terror into the mind in hopes that they can invoke a break up so things can go back as it was and they look the hero.

In certain circumstances the advice about your new relationship may come from a colleague of the same gender and gives you negative remarks about the person you're with because they have a hidden agenda. In certain cases, they may be gay and attracted to you in secret so they advise you about relationship horror stories hoping you don't remain hitched and they may still have a shot even if you're not gay. Doesn't matter if you're male or female. They probably are hoping for the best or fearing the worst if you find out about their desire or orientation and that's why they do it.

On the home front, you may have to deal with older sisters or brothers and if they are married, its worse. They believe they are fit to be your adviser on matters of the heart because their monotonous life works! So, in their head, they are fit to advise you on your choice of partner and relationship matters even though the lack of romance or sex in their own relationship is up for debate.

Parents on the other hand is a little tricky. They may have your best interest at heart but most of the time we never listen to them. Do we? Some mothers are concern we make an impulsive choice or be lured away by an unscrupulous person that will bring heartache and sadness. However, mom's advice although sound, is hardly in our minds when we make choices of the heart. I guess the dreaded idea of bringing home that special someone only to have a disapproving argument later on our choice is enough for anyone to have a heart attack. Just like in the movies.

Don't get too discouraged. Not all advice is bad. There are many friends and colleagues that will be happy for you, tease you along and even help you when needed. Parents too, especially mom, will be your biggest supporter and helpful adviser. So its not all doom and gloom even though there is a lot of bad advice coming from people who you should stay far away from.

Bar Advice. It boils down to your choice. No one else. Just be aware what advice you're getting, who and why they're giving it to you.

What's the state of your relationship?

2011-10-13T16:31:00.000+08:00

What's the state of your relationship? Yours may have romance, love and a greatly understanding partner but there's a possibility the relationship may fail. What can you do to help your relationship?

Don't nitpick, as everyone has a tendency to do this. Stop looking at their peculiar habits and this will help you to enjoy their company more. You're not your partners parent. Talk about these things.

Try discussing any issues which you may face with your partner. Solve the problem instead of dumping it, leaving then coming back to argue even further. The problem is still there, earlier or later, but later it may get worse so nip it in the bud before it escalates

People who select the wrong partner find it difficult to settle in the relationship. Weigh all the advantages and disadvantages on who will be an ideal person in your life. Changing someone to your needs or idealism can be difficult and a strain on the feelings of the heart hen things start to sour because of poor choices.

To really make things work you must accept the flaws of your partner as no one is perfect. Before you both met you were different people leading different lives and acceptance of silly, crazy and sometimes irritating things the other one does is all part of the process of the work in the state of the relationship.

Bar Advice. Do not be jealous when meeting their ex or when a person in previous relationship is mentioned. Before you became a couple other people were in your lives...remember that.

Sex All Around The House

2011-09-15T03:00:00.000+08:00

Sex All Around The House - Book Review

We all need to spice up our lovemaking at one time or another. In fact, it's very important to the well being of your relationship! However, with so many lovemaking books out there, does Michael Webb's latest addition to his lovemaking collection size up and stand out from the crowd? Let's find out

The Oprah expert's latest book called “Sex All Around The House” takes a very different turn for ways to spice up your lovemaking. Rather than talking about positions, techniques and locations, this book focuses on how everyday household items, yes the ones already laying around your house, can be used to spice things up.

On first glance, I was a little hesitant of the idea of using things from the house. I wondered if this book could deliver. I mean how many could there possibly be? Ice, oils, candles? Come on! However, I was actually surprised by the amount of unique and wonderful things you can use, and I quote, “to get your partner's engine revving.”

Want to hear some more? Get frisky in a sleeping bag, fun and challenging! Wear nothing but an apron to cook a meal and surprise your partner. A great turn-on, especially for men. Play a sexy game using an MP3 player where you each have an earpiece and have to make love without it falling out - including changing positions and giving oral. Playable with or without sexy 'penalties.'

There was even one about wearing earplugs! Everyone knows you can heighten sound and touch by blindfolding, but almost no one thinks about trying earplugs to block out sound from your steamy passion. Nice idea to heighten touch and visual sense and create a totally new experience. I was also surprised to discover that some of these items can be used to make men last longer and even an item that makes some adventurous positions possible. Nice addition!

So as you can see, this book actually has some fantastic and exciting ideas you can use to spice up any lovemaking, no matter how fiery it already is. Best of all, because sex toys are so expensive, you'll save lots of money(and lots of embarrassment) by using the items you already have around the house. Were there any downsides? Yes. The book could have had a few more ideas, considering you won't like all of them(no one will like all of them) but there are definitely enough to keep you very happy.

Bar advice. All in all, this is a great resource that you'll wonder how you did without. Whether you want to add more fire, perform better in bed or just have more fun, you'll find many tips and ideas to make it happen.

Social Network Sites

2011-07-24T12:32:00.003+08:00

I am really thrown back at some of the people that join the social network sites, especially the women. I've seen on several sites, including Facebook, Hi 5, Tagged, My Space, Friendster and more, where they use the phrase "in a relationship" for their status. Some are provided as options on the site and some are typed in. Either way, it is loosely used.

Now why place that there and then start flirting with everyone? Some women even add sexy photos of themselves. Guys add photos of their body tattoos or abs and such. The fact that they state they are already in a relationship, and most probably are, then do everything that would piss off the person they are involved with who will be looking at their page as well, is just mind blowing. Best part, some encourage their partners by supporting the behaiviour as long as the status shows they are involved with someone.

Now a lot of conversations are posted on the sites for everyone to read, except personal messages of course, and when someone adds their view or states something inappropriate or just doesn't seem to fit into the other persons social circle; all hell can break loose. It seems everyone will jump on board to help criticize or pound the offender into the ground.

An example I saw would be where a girl uploaded a few photos of herself in a bikini. She looked great and her best "asset" was her fabulous breast and the cleavage. Now of course you'll get a few friends comment on them and that includes strangers that make semi decent ones as well. The thread was pretty long as she had a lot of friends(with assets like that who wouldn't), however, when one guy added a remark that he wish he could "bang" her, it became ugly. Suddenly one guy after another started to mention the guy's comment was inappropriate, not a nice thing to say, was an asshole, this and that. I'm sure you get the point.

Same thing similar happened also with a guy posting a pic of himself and comments that came in were good and bad. In his case other guys stated things like how he thought he was handsome, he was trying to attract another man's girlfriend and had no real substance and vulgarity became part of the whole thing. Even some girls added dislike to the guy and viciously voiced it in their comments. Oddly, a lot of them just weren't really interested in the string of comments but just threw their two cents worth to condemn the person.

Now the way I look at this is, firstly, it happens more so to singles that actual married people. So that tells me there are people looking for others and really trying to connect. Of course you have your perverts and hookers trying to see who, if they can, capitalize on any action. You also get some, actually plenty, of fake profiles but that doesn't stop them from making comments if they fancy or dislike someone. It seems people will say some weird stuff sometimes. Some want the attention and welcome everything and everybody just so they have a pile of friends that in real life falls short of how people truly perceive them.

I'm sure you've also seen things like this if you're in any of the social networks. Maybe you're one of the free for all condemning players as well. I think some guys tend to come to the "rescue" of the girls due to their own plan of trying to be Mr. Nice guy in the hopes of gaining favour in her eyes. They believe she will respond to them in a closer way, at least online for the start, and other possibilities in future. They also want other girls to see that they are a better person than others. This of course is the false front in their feeble attempt to become the "hero" in a situation where they are seen in a good light by everyone especially the girls.

Women also do this similarly but they are not as aggressive in their attempt but the ones that are not so good looking tend to make bolder statements in an attempt to shine more light on their intellect, conversational skills and trying to be more interesting so they can throw the guys scent off how their looks. In reality they are looking but modesty holds them back from really saying that the guy online is someone they will jump in the sack with, irregardless of their relationship status, but they can't and won't. Just leaving the thoughts of possibilities.

A lot of quarrels, squabbles and major break ups happen because of all this and everyone sees online and wants to be part of it, even if they make the problem happen in the first place. A lot of people are really to blame for the problem starting in the first place as a lot of them like the comments being made about themselves in photos and the flirting that takes place even though they know they are attached. Funny thing is, especially a for lot of girls when they do break up, will fully announce they are back looking, are free and available, back in the game, ready for a new beginning, on a fresh outlook at life and any other line they can think of to publicize their newly derived single status. Basically, they want the chase to begin again. Some sites, like Facebook, actually help make the announcement when you change anything on the page and that includes you status.

Bar Advice. Overall all these sites draw the good and the bad that happens in people's personal lives ......and we let it.

Returning With Love

2011-07-17T17:25:00.007+08:00

I am returning with love and of course more advice to help others in need. It's been a while as I have been really busy doing affiliate and internet marketing. Doing business always takes a tole on people but I always say you have to leave time for some rest and relaxation.

But now I'm back to fill one gap of what I use to do and that's giving my two cents worth on relationship problems or any other issue that drives men and women crazy about each other or over each other. So the Unofficial Psychiatrist and Psychologist is back. The topic about returning with love is appropriate, not only for me and this blog but for a story of that nature.

I'll keep it brief as it's the first post in a long time. There's this girl I know who worked as a domestic helper and after her two years away working she returned home to find so many things changed at home. The son sold off crops from the field only to pocket some of the money for himself. The daughter asked for her to send money home at one point to buy medicine for her grandson but later it was discovered she wanted to buy a piece of jewelry that was on sale and a great price. Basically she lied about it as she thought the mother would refuse.

Worse of all was this lady's own mother secretly sold of a portion of land that was left by her late father to her. Upon discovering all this, naturally being human, got really upset about this. Now here's the twist. She had won about twenty thousand from the local lottery just before returning home and wanted to share her winnings as a gift. Instead she bought back the land sold by her mother, bought her own jewelry and got her son to repaint the entire house with him buying the paint of course. Nobody argued and everyone was a little terrified for all their wrong doings. Except one. The grandson of her daughter.

This boy always made her laugh and smile when she called home. After three days of silence, beside speaking to the grandson only, she gathered everyone to a discussion. After venting a little anger still, she mentally stepped back and took a breath, then started a heart felt talk with them. She told them she was returning with love and joy only to find deceit and lies but although disappointed she forgave them, being a Christian, all because times are hard and the economy is bad. Plus, she added, she was blessed with a small fortune before her return and she showed them her bank account statement. They nearly fell to the floor.

She made them promise never to do all that again, gave them each a thousand and a week later returned to her work overseas. Till today, if any of them need anything, they ask. The story of their discussion at home is more in depth with religious aspects included but basically the message got through. Now she frets not about the home front especially the fact that her grandson will not learn such practices and pick it up from anyone at home.

She divulged that she later sent more money home to buy additional land and added extension to the house. Looks like things are on the right track. So her story is ongoing and that is also going to be mine with this blog.

Bar advice. Sometimes even the people we think we know best can change. So, communicate constantly.

Pause

2008-04-30T23:28:00.013+08:00

I guess we all need a break so I'm in pause mode for now. Got some stuff to do, work to concentrate on and business to take care off. Will be back with more relationship issues, more advice and , YES!, more sex stuff to be included. Later!!

Bar advice. Wake up before it's too late!!

P.S. Use this travel site if you want to best Asian destination travel like me.

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Millionaire Society

Asking for help.

2008-04-20T23:38:00.008+08:00

People often avoid asking for help for two reasons. Either they are embarrassed at needing assistance or they feel they can go it alone and succeed without others involvement. However, everyone needs help sometimes and knowing when, and how, to ask for it can save you time, headaches and a lot of emotional stress.

Whether it’s help to move house, start your new business or taking the kids for a weekend trip, the premise stays the same. Here are some tips to ask for help when you need it.

Release your need to be in control.
Often, we resist asking for help because we don’t want to loosen our grasp on the idea that we are in charge. As you release your need to be in control you realize that you can reach out for help when it is required and know when you can simply support yourself. Stop thinking that others will look down on you so you have to put this false front of being in control.

Let go of your negative feelings about needing help.
As you let go, you discover that it is OK to ask for help, and it is OK to not ask for help; you feel like you have a choice and this makes it easier to do what is best for you. Why give energy to negative feelings or thoughts when you are in need of help. Use that energy to overcome the problem by asking for help. The faster you solve it the better you'll feel.

Talk about your problem directly.
You don’t need to make excuses or apologize. Simply explain the situation and the help you need. Sometimes simply allowing others to listen to you or be there for you is exactly what you need in the moment to break through emotionally or to solve a problem that has been plaguing you for a long time. People will have advice and maybe criticism about your problem but it's expected and normal when someone is about to help. They just have your interest at heart and don't want to see you in any, or the same, difficulties again.

For many people, the four letters are akin to a four-letter word, one that should never be uttered. HELP! Why do we have to shrug to open our mouth when in need? Most of us believe that we must be self-sufficient and that asking for help is somehow a sign of weakness or forces us to be vulnerable or dependent on others. This belief causes us to not reach out when we need to or when it is in our best interest.

Bar advice. The reason that there are others on this planet, is so we can help each other. We can't do it alone. Ask.

Letting go of past relationships

2008-04-15T01:04:00.006+08:00

Just when you thought you were over it, you accidentally walk into the bar, club, restaurant, coffee shop or store where you once were together, in love. You were there together, before you had the talk about what you really wanted. Before the big fight. Before the reconciliation. Before the next big fight and then when you finally broke up for good.

Why do you wonder if you did the right thing? Why do you miss your ex? Why is closure so hard to close? As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. Letting go of past relationships and closure might be even harder to come by. Next time you face this dilemma, try these to finally let go.

Answers
What is really bugging you about the breakup? If you don't have some idea of what really happened to you, it's going to be a lot harder to move forward. Write out what this relationship was for you from the first day you met to the day you broke up. The universe supports loving relationships of equality. Was it an equal loving relationship? Did this person bring out the best (or worst) in you? Was this a sexual relationship, a fling or real attraction and love?

Advice
Ask the friends you trust, "What did you observe in my relationship?" Often the people who love us can see what we can't but they won't open up or give advice to you unless you ask. They don't want to hurt your feelings about your choice. It's so much easier to idealize the past than accept that your relationship had some real flaws that would have erupted over time. Sometimes the questions can be answered by meeting with your ex, but be careful! No sex with your ex or, you may be on different time lines of grief and it can be painful if it appears that your ex is "over it" and you're not. Your ex may also already be seeing someone else which may just make you feel like dog poop.

Reclaim Yourself
There's a reason that people sell the house when they get divorced. Shared space is intimate space. If your place looks like he just left for work ten minutes ago or her toothbrush is still hanging in the bathroom, you're wallowing. Buy new sheets. Paint, move furniture around or have a "newly single" house warming party. Your environment reflects your mind. If it's a shrine to a past relationship, how can you heal? It's not about denying your feelings. It's about letting your mind rest in your own home.

Forgiveness
Even if you can't forgive them, forgive yourself! Relationships don't fail. They change. You may not be ready to forgive your partner for any number of things (like cheating!), but you must forgive yourself. Letting go isn't possible without accepting and loving your own willingness to love. If you are waiting for your ex to say something you want to hear or just to return your DVDs, you're giving them power over your process. Stop empowering them over you. Forgiveness is hard but whether given to them or to yourself, you feed better energy than anger and feeling miserable.

Feelings
Resist the temptation to run out for a replacement person in the first few months. If someone told you their grandmother died, you wouldn't tell them to go out and get another grandma. You would give them all the time they needed to think about their relationship with their loved one and what it meant to them. The need to heal takes longer for some. Some put up false pretense of getting over someone quickly but they are hurting tremendously inside.

Grieving
Grieving is a process of going deeper into consciousness. Therefore, grieving the end of a relationship opens you up to a deeper experience in life. Pain is a necessary part of growth. Take a treasured object that represents your relationship and set it free. Perhaps you can donate a piece of jewelry you received to a charity, release a love letter or painting of you two into the ocean. By marking the end of this important person in your life, you are honoring the time you had together and you are honoring yourself for having the courage to love.

Bar advice. Letting go of past relationships only happens when you arrive at a place of rest and acceptance. It will come. Trust the process and experience your pain. It will conclude into clarity. It will lead to peace. Eventually.

Being Compatible

2008-04-14T01:33:00.010+08:00

Sure, a lot of times opposites attract, in a big way! The push and pull of differences can create friction, heat and a whole lot of excitement in many relationships. Some of these connections last and many don't but for the most part, when it comes to finding a long term mate, the more you have in common, the less likely there is to be conflict. So that means you can also be attracted to someone more similar to yourself.

As humans, many of us find this really boring! Even still, no relationship is a walk in the park and it won't be smooth sailing all the way, no matter how similar you are. So, you might as well go for the fire. However, part of finding and keeping a mate means accepting and getting past differences and working on change when necessary. It's what you do share that will come to your rescue in challenging times. That's why it's important to identify common ground in every love connection.

It's the age old question of "How compatible are we?" Or, "what should I be looking for?" There are probably hundreds of answers to these questions, so here it's narrowed down to the top five main compatibility "musts" in a mate.

Social
How do you and your partner match up when it comes to socializing? Do you like to be with and meet new people? Do you talk to every person you possibly can at a party? Does spending time socializing energize you? It's fine if someone doesn't have quite the same passion for socializing as their partner but if the difference is extreme and if one person needs to stay home to rest and recoup constantly, while the other needs to go out or invite friends over multiple times a week to get their groove on, conflict may arise. You and your partner needn't do everything together but for optimum happiness, it's best to pick a partner who has similar social desires.

Sexual
Of course, without sexual chemistry most couples would never get together in the first place! By sexual it means early desires and later physical interaction. This initial attraction is the easy part but the nuts and bolts of making it work in bed for the long run is a much more complex affair. It's good to gauge your compatibility in this area by getting answers to certain questions. Are you matched in terms of your preferences and expectations? For instance, are you more dominant or submissive, expressive or inhibited, experimental or conservative? Is there a balance? How much foreplay do you like to give and receive? Is there a shared commitment to monogamy or is an open relationship acceptable? The answers will be different for everyone but they can be the biggest deal breakers in a relationship.

Financial
If you're planning on being with someone long term, know what their approach to money management is. To avoid unpleasant surprises, talk about it before taking any legally binding steps. How does each of you feel about credit? What's more important, spending or saving? Will you pool your money together or operate separately? Do both parties expect to earn an income and, if not, is one willing and capable of supporting the other? Do you love the person enough that money is not an issue between yourselves even if one lacks or has lesser of it?

Spiritual
Spiritual compatibility encompasses values, beliefs and behaviors. Whether or not you are a deeply spiritual or religious person, compatibility, or absolute acceptance and discussion of differences, in this area should be addressed as it could affect the long term development of a relationship. Is a shared religion and faith an important qualification for a mate? Can you talk openly to each other about spiritual topics? Does your partner have an accepting and warm response? Do you feel like you can support each other on a spiritual path? Is your partner willing to change for you?

Lifestyle
Thankfully, this is the area of compatibility that is often easiest to work through, but can also be the source of much conflict. Is your partner up all night while you're early to bed and early to rise? Things to consider include;
1) Your level of organization.
2) Your living space preferences? (big or small, style, decor).
3) Hobbies and pastimes.
4) Preferences for sports and exercise.
5) Vacationing or staying at home.
6) Are cultural events, art, music and dancing valued?
7) What level of political or religious involvement in the community is desired?
8) What obligations to family, relatives or friends is required?
9) Where do you see your life unfolding? (in the city, suburbs or country?).
10) Is charity and volunteer work part of your life?

A friend of mine, Anne Curtis, who is a celebrity and star in the Philippines was just chatting with me yesterday. She's always so bubbly and friendly but people don't get to see past her celeb status. Question is, does she even have the time to think about all the points highlighted above? Maybe the most important compatibility in her case would be the "spiritual" one. A religious bond perhaps that makes sense of the world she lives in and whoever she's in a relationship with. So count your blessings that you have more going for yourself.

Bar advice. The odds of you being compatible with someone is far greater than my friend Anne. However, my advice to all and someone like Anne is, never give up the belief you'll find the "one."

Stop Whining, Start Living

2008-04-06T00:29:00.004+08:00

Stop Whining, Start Living gives readers stuck in their suffering the jump start they need to break out of reactive mode and get proactive, moving in the direction of a joyful, meaningful, happy, fulfilling, and purposeful future. Everyone can use a kick in the pants sometimes, and Dr.Laura Schlessinger, who "preaches, teaches, and nags" to millions every day on her radio program, is here to deliver it!

This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems. It’s for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life. If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn't be or what you are NOT doing that you should be! This is where the power to change everything comes in.

Bar advice. If your life seems stuck in an endless cycle of "nowhere" and you winne about a change, check out this Amazon book.

Infertility

2008-04-05T22:49:00.007+08:00

I have a friend that got some news from her doctor last year that she could not bear children. It's one of those many cases of people that have this problem. Male infertility is also something that happens but mostly it's hit by the female gender probably because they are the child bearers.

Male infertility is becoming a more common topic when it comes to reproductive issues but female infertility is still the most often talked about concern. No matter how many 'how to' infertility books are out there, there are just some women that are unable to have a child without some assistance and that's when you need all the information you can get.

Some female infertility issues can be handled through natural means. There is some research indicating that acupuncture and infertility are linked. Studies are showing that having regular acupuncture treatments may improve the health of the body, which then can help infertility. This natural infertility treatment is becoming a much more popular first step in the fight to have a child in a natural way. Herbal remedy for infertility options also exist that can assist in making the body more 'willing' to have a pregnancy.

We may never be positive about what can cause infertility. There is recent speculation that the cause of female infertility might be as simple as having a weaker body that won't become pregnant because it feels like it can not support the full term pregnancy. Other infertility journals speculate that women might have trouble with conceiving because of other infertility problems - smoking, stress, improper diet, etc. Some infertility causes aren't as clear as changing a diet or trying to take better care of yourself.

One solution that comes up on many infertility forums a process in which one sperm is placed in to one egg outside of the body in order to create new life. These infertility services don't rely on the hope that one of many sperm will reach an egg but rather they make sure that the egg and sperm meet up and then it's up to the embryo to attach to the uterine wall. The cost of infertility treatment options like this is high but the chances of success seem to be much higher as well.

You might also want to consider drug infertility treatments in order to stimulate the body into ovulating, if this is the cause of the female infertility. Infertility drugs are highly successful when the treatment plan is followed and can even result in multiple births for some parents. The woman will need to inject herself with hormones in order to stimulate egg production and more eggs being released. And this can help to improve the chances of the egg and sperm finally meeting up to make a pregnancy.

While an infertility cure is never certain, female infertility does have many options that can be utilized. When you're trying to make the decision, it can help to do research on your own first to see what options are available before heading to your doctor for their opinion.

Bar advice. I'm no doctor but keeping a healthy positive mind is also beneficial. Also, prayer never hurts when wishing for kids.

Dating when you're older

2008-04-04T22:23:00.006+08:00

Over the years, our priorities shift, careers expand, interests change, as does what we look for in a potential mate, and where we look for them. You may feel like all the good ones are taken, but hey, you're single so you've just disproved that theory! Yes it's different, yes it's scary and that's okay. So let's take a look at some dating strategies for thirty somethings.

In your thirties, you know how to make a list of qualities for your perfect partner (and even how to manifest them yourself) but you aren't really expecting them to land right at your feet, are you? You're more interested in quality (not quantity) when it comes to dating, so why not multitask by doing what you love to do in hopes of meeting a wonderful someone with similar interests to your own? Most of all have fun and don't look for the "one"! Be happy to simply meet new people and have different experiences. If you're enjoying yourself, others will take note. They will notice that you can be what they have been looking for as well.

Sure, you can join a yoga class or a interest group because that's what all the love coaches say to do but what about this? Try imagining where you might run into the person you'd most like to attract. You might be more likely to meet them at a work conference, on a vacation, or at a workshop, from comedy writing to wine tasting, or where you are truly in your element.

Going out to try and meet someone over a beer or margarita is always an option but as life gets busier and schedules become more hectic, you don't have all day to nurse a hangover. So look for healthier options like joining a running group, soccer team or the gym.

If you have a dog, start taking new walking routes, if you don't have a dog, borrow one. You'll meet plenty of people at dog parks or local walking spots. If the walking isn't good in your neighborhood, load up the pooch and drive to another area with cool coffee shops and pull up a seat outside (if it's warm enough). You'll be surprised how often a stranger will venture over to chat whether it be about your dog, your book or what you're eating. A friend of mine, Clarice, has a Rottweiler. If you need a guard dog fine, however, I suggest a more gentle breed for people to approach.

If you are a single parent, take your kids where other single parents might also be enriching the life of their child like museums, class trips or children's theater. Just be open and remember you're not a kid anymore, so be bold, and don't be afraid to ask any interesting prospects "How are you?" It's not as difficult as that. If response is poor with one person, simply move on. There's a lot of others out there.

There you are sitting in front of the TV again or searching online profiles (which is not to be discounted) but you could be mingling with real live adults right now. It's the weekend! Take yourself (and a friend) to bar, club, disco or an opening where mingling is always expected. Go out to see live music. It'll get your blood pumping and your feet moving and before you know it, you could be talking to another person whose feet are moving towards you! Go see a funny film. At least if you go home alone, you can laugh about it. The point is to get out, be seen and be active.

Gone are the days when you have to follow any other generation's dating rules. In fact, you're free to make your own rules. Basically, treat dating as an adventure and while you're at it, make an effort to look your best. Even if you're just running out to the grocery store or dropping your kids off at school. Remember, potential matches are everywhere!

Bar advice. It's never too late. There are others out there with lives unfulfilled with a partner. Dating when you're older is possible.

Stay Sexy by eating right.

2008-04-04T20:39:00.007+08:00

If you don't have junk around the house, you're less likely to eat junk. If all you have is healthy food around the house, you're forced to make smart choices. Basically, it all starts with making smart choices and avoiding temptations.

Alright, so let's start with the fridge. Cottage cheese, ricotta cheese, and yogurt. You can mix cottage or ricotta cheese and yogurt together with chopped nuts and berries for a great mid-morning or mid-afternoon meal. Chopped walnuts, pecans and almonds are delicious and a great sources of healthy choices. Whole eggs, one of natures richest sources of nutrients (and remember, they increase your GOOD cholesterol so stop fearing them). Nut butters. Plain old peanut butter has gotten a little old, so get creative and mix together almond butter with sesame seed butter, or even cashew butter with macadamia butter. It's delicious and unbeatable nutrition.

Lean meats. If you're serious about a sexy, lean healthy body, these types of meats are much better for you. If you're the adventurous type try buffalo, ostrich or venison. Grass-fed steaks, burgers, and ground beef have been shown to have as high as, or even higher, levels of omega3 fatty acids than salmon. Keep in moderation is also key for all these meats.

Oat bran and steel cut oats have higher fiber than those little packs of instant oats. Cans of coconut milk has to be transferred to a container in the fridge after opening. Various antioxidant rich teas like green, oolong, white, rooibosare are some of the best. Stevia, a natural non-caloric sweetener, is an excellent alternative to the nasty chemical-laden artificial sweeteners like aspartame, saccharine, and sucrose. Organic maple syrup has none of that high fructose corn syrup and can be considered real food. Use it for post-workout smoothies to sweeten things up and also elicit an insulin surge to push nutrients into your muscles.

Raw honey is better than processed honey. There's higher quantities of beneficial nutrients and enzymes. Honey has even been proven in studies to improve glucose metabolism (how you process carbs). Use a teaspoon or so every morning in teas. Yes, it is pure sugar, but at least it has some nutritional benefits and let's be real, a teaspoon of honey is only five grams of carbs. Certainly nothing to worry about.

Whole wheat or whole grain spelt pasta has much higher fiber than normal pastas. Take brown rice and other higher fiber rice but white rice is also good. Cans of black or kidney beans too. Add a couple scoops to my Mexican wraps for the fiber and high nutrition content. Also, beans are surprisingly one of the best sources of youth promoting antioxidants. Tomato sauces are delicious and as I'm sure you've heard a million times, they are a great source of lycopene. Just watch out for the brands that are loaded with nasty high fructose corn syrup.

Add organic unsweetened cocoa powder for an extra jolt of antioxidants or make your own low-sugar hot cocoa by mixing cocoa powder into hot milk with stevia and a couple of melted dark chocolate chunks. This can be a sort of dessert but remember to walk off the meal and this dessert later on.

Lastly, another thing that's hard to go wrong with is a good variety of fresh fruits and berries. The staples such as bananas, apples, oranges, pears, peaches are good, but also be a little more adventurous and include things like yellow mangoes, pomegranates, star fruit, kumquats, pineapples, papaya, and others. Also, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and cherries are some of the most nutrient and antioxidant dense fruits you can eat.

Bar advice. Your tastes are probably quite different but hopefully this gave you some good ideas you can use next time to stay sexy by eating right.

Reading the "hints"

2008-03-31T18:59:00.006+08:00

So what are the various areas of communication you should pay attention to with women?

Her Subtext. This means the reading the "hints" she gives amongst the jumble of words coming out of her mouth.
Her Body Language. How her body shifts, moves, rests, and leans whenever she is saying something or reacting to something.
Eye Contact. How she maintains, or not, eye contact and various things which may happen with her eyes.
Her Actions. What she ACTUALLY has done, is doing, or will do, whether in conflict with her words or not.
Her Topics. What she talks about and how she talks about it or tells you about it.
Statements & Questions. What kind of statements does she make, and what kind of questions she asks.
How She Dresses. Not just WHAT she's wearing, but HOW she wears it.
Touch. How she touches and reacts to different kinds of touch.

Now here are some examples of the ways women will mis-communicate or communicate that which you should be aware of.

SUBTEXT: She may be talking about the staff at the convenience store, but she may also be signaling the types of behaviors she finds attractive, offensive, weird, scary, or fascinating. For example, if a woman wants a caring man, wants you to know she wants a caring man, and wants to know if you are a caring man, she will not just say "I want a caring man and I hope you are one." If she did, every schmuck who she tells that to will just act as if he's got that quality which actually says to her "he is just saying that and it's not real." Instead, at most she will drop it into subtext and the "better" man will be able to "read" it and capitalize.

BODY LANGUAGE: There is no harm in repeating what you may have already heard a few dozen times. If her body language is closed or locked up, then she's being defensive. If her body is open then she's opening up to chances. If she doesn't face you directly when talking to you, she feels higher value than you. If she points her feet at you while standing, she has some interest. If she leans in, she's interested. Leans back, she's not. If she shifts her hair away to display her neck, she is flirting. There's a lot more. A lot of this you may know or have learned already. What you need to do now is connect it to her "verbal" communications (along with subtext) and, once again, "read" the true picture.

EYE CONTACT: If she maintains eye contact, she is more likely being honest. If her eyes look away almost every time she needs to answer a question, then she's "accessing" which means she has to think about it before answering which usually means she's not being entirely honest. If she looks at you and both her eyes sort of "vibrate" a bit back-and-forth then she is some what overwhelmed by your communication or is a little distress as to how to follow through. If she mostly keeps eye contact but makes a jerking motion (turn) with her head while reacting to you then she's being shy (insecure)or may be thinking about something (maybe sexual or playful) she doesn't want you to know about. You can "read" a lot of information by casually observing all these eye things.

HER ACTIONS: Mostly you should observe a woman's actions to understand what most resembles what she is likely to actually do in the future or how she truly feels about something or someone. If she says she doesn't like men who order her around yet every one of her past boyfriends ordered her around and she only broke up with them when she "tamed" them, then clearly she is only relaying (at most), a belief in how she would "like" to be. You will be able to "read" that actually as certain behavior will attract her more than others, regardless of what she says. It may be best to exit that sort of relationship because trying to change someone is one of the hardest things to do. Have you ever tried changing something in your life? Hard right? Well try changing just one part of another person.

HER TOPICS: What does she talk about a lot? What kind of things draw her attention? Does she say claim to be a hippy type but always seems to talk about fashion and conservative topics? What kind of people does she talk about? What things in the news interest her? Does she even bring up anything from the news or does she exclusively talk about certain shows on prime time TV? Does subjects about helping others in need ever come up? Is she interested in the people that are suffering in third world countries or only in the tourist attractions of those countries? You can "read" a lot about her based on her common topics.

STATEMENTS & QUESTIONS: Is she critical of a lot of things or people? Does she often voice high opinions of herself or points out the lack in others. Does she claim to be better than other people in the world? Will she ask for help if she's unsure about something? Does she seek your opinion about things especially if it's something about her appearance, character, work, thoughts or insecurities? You can "read" what her opinions or doubts are.

HOW SHE DRESSES: Conservative? Casual? High Maintenance? Does the way she dress contradict anything about her? In a good or bad way? Sneakers? Skirt? Pleated pants? Does she pay attention to details and try to draw attention to herself or is she understated and low key? It may be nice to have a few good things but would you want her becoming Paris Hilton? You can "read" her style.

HER TOUCH: Does she touch you when talking to you? Where? How often? Does she reciprocate your touches? If a woman starts touching you a lot when you talk to her then she's either really interested or really friendly. Either is pretty good. If she jumps or reacts a bit off when you touch her, then she's communicating that your vibe is not sitting well with her. What about the objects around her? If she is toying incessantly with an object, then she's nervous. If she plays with her hair while talking, she's attracted. Her manner of touch with you and the people and things around her will allow you to "read her internal sensitivities of her interaction with you.

Realize you can learn a lot of this over time and what better way to learn than interacting with lots of women? Also, try this. Lets say you're in a bar or cafe. Watch the couples. You'll be able to sense the vibes of those that are together for some time, the new dating ones, those meeting for the first time and you're bound to see a cool and suave guy. In control and probably with a "hot" date. Keep observing him the most and learn.

Bar advice. Guys see women all the time every day but do we really read the hints thrown our way, be it the good and bad ones? Think about it!

Tantra. Being sensual in the bedroom

2008-03-30T21:06:00.005+08:00

In our results oriented world, we sometimes forget to stop and smell the roses as the old saying goes. Unfortunately our impatience with the world has even seeped into the bedroom. There's nothing wrong with a quickie, every now and then, however, a steady diet of superficial sex is bound to keep true intimacy at bay. Sex, according to those who follow the ancient practice of Tantra, is not just about reaching a climax, it can be a deeply sensual and spiritual act even without a climax. Go figure!

Exploring some of the basic elements of Tantric sex (sex that is done with your eyes open) with your partner, involves breathing together, being fully present in the moment, and basically just taking your time. Its regular practice can lead to better lovemaking, enhanced sexual communication and happier endings. Here's how it works.

Self love
A healthy dose of self respect in both partners is essential to the success of Tantra. You must feel whole and complete on your own. Once you are comfortable in your own skin (and soul) and are ready to share yourself with another, you can experience the highest level of intimacy imaginable. Do you feel resolved of your biggest issues? Are you at peace with yourself. If so, read on...

Communication
To achieve true intimacy in the bedroom, you must trust one another. The more you open up to each other in a healthy way, the more intimate you become. It may be scary at times to be so vulnerable but to achieve the "high sex" of Tantra, a high level of trust, communication and intimacy is essential. A way to achieve this is to talk to each other about your fears and desires. Remain open and understanding as you share without placing blame or judgment on each other. Doing this in the privacy of your own bedroom is the perfect setting. Singing star Sting practices this with his wife.

Ritual
You may not be vacationing in the Bali but you can still create an atmosphere that is romantic and erotic. To create ambiance, burn some incense or essential oil candles, throw pillows and blankets (in elegant fabrics) around the room or dress in silk or other tasteful lingerie. You can opt to be naked if you like. Bring your lover small tokens of your affection. A favorite flower or an old photo that reminds you of a wonderful day together. This is part of the ritual of lovemaking, according to Tantra. It's a time to relax and unwind and lose all inhibition.

Ecstasy
Learn to love your partner with your eyes, breath and touch. Truly embrace the give and take of the moment in each other's presence. Breath in deeply and smell your lover. Gently stroke the inside of their arm or any other spot they find arousing. Take your time by holding off intercourse until you are highly aroused. Make it last as long as you can.

Exercise
Try this simple yogic exercise. Sit face to face, naked, with your eyes open (make sure the room is warm enough). Next, embrace each other paying close attention to each other's breath until you are breathing as one. Stay this way for at least a minute or more. Eventually, pull away just enough to look into each other's eyes. It sounds so simple, but don't worry if you find yourself shying away or giggling before you are able to lock eyes and take each other in fully.

Next, take time caressing each other but not in the obvious places. Massage his thighs coming close but still not touching. Caress her calves and stomach. As you slowly delve into making love, the key is to take your time and not rush to climax. By using controlled breathing and switching positions when you feel close to orgasm, you can last for hours. By practicing Tantra, when you do climax it will be a vibrational energy that resonates throughout your whole body and soul creating a true spiritual experience. This is a wonderful way to become closer than ever before to your beloved.

I've stressed this before. No one can "complete you". The movie Jerry McGuire with Tom Cruise throwing out that line was just that, a movie! the only person that can "complete you" is yourself! Once you have been able to experience this and your partner does as well, you'll find that both of you have more to give out to each other when you're being sensual in the bedroom. The energy of your Tantra practice will draw you both into each other and the sexual desires are heightened. The climax will then be explosive and you'll feel like you just ran a marathon but want to do it all over again.

Bar advice. If you're seeking help on sexuality and relationship advice, try this Tantra out. You both may just like it.

Relationship Advice on Dating an Older Man

2008-03-29T19:45:00.003+08:00

There are times that some women are not sure if this is right. It's one thing if he's a year of two older but it's different if he's much, much older. However, take examples of people like Micheal Douglas and Catherine-Zeta Jones. Far gap here but working very well and with kids as well.

Certainly there must be some thing working here. Let see this You Tube video on relationship advice and dating an older man from Laura Luvv.

Bar advice. At the end of the day it all comes down to what you as a woman are looking for in your life. Don't be afraid to go against the norm.

Intense pressure

2008-03-27T02:31:00.008+08:00

Here's a sentence of what was said not too long ago in a conversation with a few guys. "The women you want, you can't have and the women you can have, you don't want." How true can this be, or is it even? A sad fact but intense pressure about getting girls has been around for a long time now.

I think that most guys have had that experience of being chased by a girl that they're just not interested in. She's usually a friend, classmate or co-worker that we're NOT attracted so we treat her like one of our guy friends. We're not trying to hook up with her, so we're not afraid to joke around or be bold with her, challenge her, the stuff that most guys don't do around girls they're attracted to. So guys inadvertently draw in women, it's just they don't do it purposely to the women they want to attract. Funny but true, again.

In order to improve your dating success with drop dead gorgeous women you need to change. If you are not getting the results you desire with women then something needs to change. This is obvious but it may not be "changing" in the way that you think. Often men already have the personality traits needed to attract beautiful, funny and intelligent women but the problem isn't that men don't have confident and outgoing personalities, most of us do, but the problem is that we don't show our best side to women we are interested in.

Since the beginning of time men have always wondered how to please and win them over to become the sole provider for her. Men have tried all sorts of things in their determination to get a particular woman. They use pickup lines. They buy them gifts and they slave to do anything for the woman. Men end up doing things for women that they would never otherwise do. What men don't realise is that these things are actually manipulation to get something from women. Would you act this humble and nice for a woman you weren't sexually interested in? What men are doing here is changing for the wrong reasons. They change the way they talk. They change the way they act. They change their sense of humour. Actually in most cases they kill any sense of humour as soon as they start talking with a woman they want to get romantically involved with.

How does a man act around his male buddies? He's funny, laughing, enjoying himself and he makes fun of his friends and jokes around. Then the guy suddenly see a stunning woman in the distance and decides to go talk to her but unlike the way he interacted with his friends. Now he stops being funny. He stops laughing. He stops playfully making jokes and he becomes Mr.Serious. Why do guys CHANGE in these certain circumstances when surrounded by beautiful women?

The intense pressure the man places on himself to 'get the girl' becomes huge. He wants the woman so bad that he stops doing things that might be too risky in order to date her. What he doesn't realize is that by speaking in a boring way, constantly complimenting on her striking appearance and giving her whatever she wants he presents a BORING personality to the woman. The man presents a fake and boring personality that the woman can't stand! Of course this isn't how he usually acts. Only when he is in the presence of women he is romantically interested in. Think to yourself, if you were an amazingly gorgeous woman would you like guys who come up to you and talk to you about the weather, their job or other plain topics that have no spice? No! You would think, "How can I get away from this guy as fast as possible?"

Women like to be subtle about their non-interest for a man. So when a woman tries to give a man the *hint*, he sadly never gets it. He wonders why she doesn't call, why she keeps talking about another man or why she wants to be "just friends"? Ultimately when men change they lower their chances of success. See, when you are interested in a woman it doesn't matter if you're a great funny and interesting guy, unless you can show that to her. There is no point trying to make friends with a woman or holding back your true personality until later, because by then it will already be too late. Here's an amazing secret you must understand to be successful with women.

If you talk to a woman for a few minutes and she has NO sexual interest towards you, it will be almost impossible to change it later. So when you're talking with women think about how you are acting. Is it the same way you would act around your friends or are you changing yourself to try and date her? Pay attention to how you act and speak around women and do a little self analysis to determine if that's how you would act around your friends. "Am I being interesting? Am I being fun? Would I joke around and be playful like this with my buddies?" You'll be surprised.

Bar advice. If you "check" yourself to act the same way as with the guys, you'll find that women see you that same way as well and that's why they liked you.

Abstinence

2008-03-25T05:26:00.009+08:00

At first, you dream of her. Then you see her across the room. You know immediately that you have to have her. You meet, and you make a brilliantly sexy connection. you date some time. Then she wants you to wait three months. It seems perfectly ridiculous. Who are you kidding? Neither of you are virginal. So how long is too long to wait and is it really worth it in the end? No matter how hot she seemed at first, will abstinence really make the heart fonder and the sex hotter?

To gauge woman’s sexual vibes is always challenging when you first meet. Some women send out ridiculously strong sexual signals, sometimes without even recognizing their strength. Other women make an effort to lure you in with their sex appeal, and then expect you to make the rest of the moves. While a certain period of harmless flirting is always necessary, its also a good idea to cut to the chase early when it comes to both of your sexual motives. As unassumingly as possible, you might ask that new sexy woman in your life what type, if any, of relationship she is after. Her answer will likely range from "none" to "I’m not sure". These are both fine answers, as neither of them close the door on a potential sexual connection. However, if at anytime in her response she mentions the word "slow", as in "I need to take things slowly", you are best prepared to expect the worse in terms of waiting for sex.

Taking things slowly differs from woman to woman in every relationship. Generally, a woman who wants to go slowly though, is speaking in terms of months, not dates. While some women’s intentions remain quite Victorian, we all know that when things get really hot and steamy, it sometimes becomes impossible to wait at all. Hopefully you have run into this type of woman. She plays hard to get but when it comes down to play time she is actually hard to get off you. In the opposite scenario, your experience will likely be less thrilling. Sure this flirty lady will engage in foreplay and test the waters a little but just when you think you are really getting somewhere, bam! She calls it off and declares that things are moving "way too fast".

So what else can this impossible woman expect from you besides abstinence (as if that’s not enough)? A woman who wants to take things "slow" in the sexual department wants you to connect with her on an emotional level, not just a physical one. I think we all regret that this means having lots of long talks, giving her lots of attention, and yes, maybe even some gifts. Sound like way too much effort? You might be right. If time spent with her is relatively enjoyable and gets you that much closer to your long term goal, then a few weeks of chivalry and foreplay will not kill you in the end. Months of abstinence, however, might be another story altogether. A woman who expects you to wait an extended period of time before sex is, in effect, suggesting that sex be used as a tool to "consummate" the relationship.

Beware of this woman as she might have much grander plans in mind, like marriage! Any woman with a healthy sex drive and a passion for life who chooses abstinence with someone as sexy as yourself is trying one of two goals. One, she is engaging in a religious practice, or two, she is husband shopping.

The truth is that when a woman decides that her next serious (i.e. sexual) relationship will be her last one, she intends to turn that serious relationship into a marriage. Don’t say we didn't warn you. The woman who wants to be "worth waiting for" has other potentially unrealistic expectations of you as well. As you might have predicted, after several long months of touching and waiting and touching and waiting some more, the build up to the big event is almost intolerable. The weight of the world is resting on both of your shoulders to make this all worth waiting for. Can it really turn out as well as you both hope and expect? Not likely. Remember that it is hard to recover from a flawed or failed first attempt at sexual intimacy. In the end, it may be better to hurry up and get the first time over with, so that you can get on with the practicing and really getting to know each other in the bedroom.

There are only a few real benefits to waiting weeks or months before having sex. First of all, as you might imagine, the waiting adds an exciting level of suspense to the relationship. You know you both want to and you are both dying to find out what the other will be like but you are so into each other that you already know that it will be great. This can be an absolutely dreamy period of time in a relationship. On the total opposite chance that you begin to lose interest in a woman as you get to know her, then it will be much easier to break up with her if you have not engaged in intercourse. In the right relationship, abstinence might make you fonder of each other and strengthen your sexual relationship down the road. However, this is generally the exception rather than the rule.

If this is the sexy lady for you, then go ahead and distract yourself for a few months, and wait for her to come around but if the waiting is making you more upset and frustrated than happy to be with her at all, then the delayed enjoyment of sex with this woman will probably not be worth investing you time into. Don't get me wrong, some guys can wait and one reason is because they are also lacking in intimacy due to experience. They're not sure how it all works too so they dare not push forward and are content to wait it out. Their lack of relationships earlier in life brings them to this point. The abstinence on the part of the woman may also come from this reason at times. It's different with everybody generally.

Bar advice. Meeting the 'right person' may be a high factor in breaking the abstinence period but communicating about your sexual fears and doubts may surprisingly clear theirs as well and abstinence may never arise.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T02:40:00.008+08:00

SEXY & HOT COMMENTS

We all may not be in the Christian faith but to realize the relationship that Jesus had with man is unexplainable even till today. Whatever your beliefs are and whatever faith you got to admit that his suffering and death on the cross was a feat done by no other. The main fact is it was done out of love.

Bar advice. Be the change you want to see- M.Ghandi

Roadblocks

2008-03-22T23:53:00.001+08:00

We're going to talk about some roadblocks now. You may have the attitude and the moves but there are always going to be twists thrown at you along the way. Ever been stood up? Have a woman show up an hour late with little or no warning? Whine when she isn't getting her way? Sure you haven't. Why does this happen?

The truth is, most of the time this sort of behavior is your own fault. Yes, your own. It comes from your initial meetings. Either she didn't have as much fun with you as she should have. Maybe you gave an indication that you can be walked over or she just plain didn't get excited by you. These are all things you can solve by perfecting your relaxed confidence and playful attitude. That will get rid of most flaky behavior. Sometimes women do this just to see what kind of man you REALLY are! Maybe she wants to see you again but refuses your first request for her number. She might say she does that because she doesn't want to be seen as easy. What this really does is reveal who she's dealing with. How do you react to the pressure? Do you get nervous, defensive? Flee? Do you bow your head, shrink your shoulders and don't say anything?

Oftentimes the woman just wants to see if the confident face you're presenting is for real. Women have tons of tests they use on men. Most of them unconscious but after being approached by hundreds or thousands of guys over the years, women need this sort of thing to separate the wheat from the chaff. Don't be thrown. Recognize it as a test and don't let it break your character. Lots of guys know they shouldn't just cave in but they swing too far the other way, and scare women off. You want to stay playful. Liking what she decides to do in any situation isn't given huge importance in your life. You're going to have fun regardless and if she's smart she'll join in but if not, her loss.

If you're in a bar and the woman doesn't want to be led to another area, feel free to tease. You don't want to constantly try to please her because she'll know it. She'll slowly lose respect for you and set the bar higher and higher. The further you bend over backwards to please her, the less she'll like you. It's a strange world but if you make it clear that being boring, being difficult or worst of all being (legitimately) bratty isn't something you're going to allow into your life, not only will you gain her respect and pass her tests and you'll probably have to deal with such behavior a lot less.

Another example is if you're on the phone and your lady gives you a wishy-washy, "maybe", type answer when you set up a meeting, cut off the possibility of a no-show from the get-go. A strong statement telling her you dislike uncertain answers or displeasure in negativity leading to possible no-shows will set things straight. This will usually shocks a lady out of her doubt or, worst case, you'll find out early on whether she'll be there or not. Your attitude should be "I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you're welcome but if you're going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I'll look elsewhere for interesting people." As the above statement makes clear, this isn't just about early tests. This roadblock can be a hard hit. If you've got a girl you've been seeing a while but she starts getting negative or whiny, the same sort of thing applies.

Your goal is to advance into a relationship later on so get out that "attraction journal" and mark a page "tests." Write down every test you can think of. Everything that's happened to you or you can imagine happening. They can be things women do to find out about your true character. Maybe to find out if you're real or just an act or they can simply be things that test your cool and control. Then, under each entry, write down ways you can keep your cool. Lines you can use. Images you can call up to help you stay in the right frame of mind. Triggers that bring out your relaxed happy self. Leave plenty of space, because you'll constantly find new tests from them and you'll also come up with better responses over time.

Plus, when you get a very confident sharp woman, these sorts of exchanges can go back and forth almost indefinitely and you don't want to be the one to break the chain. When the sexual tension is being dialed so high, you need to have the confidence to keep bringing it further. Trust me. She'll end up ripping your clothes off but you can't change into a wimp in front of her eyes. It's like a beautiful woman smiling and revealing secretly she's got no underwear on. It will drive you crazy. You'll want her but restrain is in order as well so you don't look desperate.

Bar advice. Looking out for these these test or roadblocks may not be as easy but just remember they're there and it'll be easier if you can spot them early.

Seduction success

2008-03-19T23:33:00.011+08:00

When people think about seduction, they think about wooing their women in the bedroom and having them fall for their every move. Sure, there are may things that come to mind when talking about seduction, but overall seduction lies in your preparation and confidence.

When looking at preparation, we look at all of the things you can control such as location, what you have planned for the evening, what you say to her and what you do with her. When we look at confidence, we look at your attitude towards being with her and your actions when you are with her in the bedroom.

The Plans
Like most men, you probably are not into planning what you are going to do or where you are going to do it. However, if you want to seduce your partner, planning the evening is mandatory. One thing you must not do is make her know what you did to get this day off and running. Even though it may have taken you a few hours to plan, having you complain about how much time you have spent on how long it took to set things up will ruin the day. By telling her you "planned" it will make her think you're just trying to get laid. Don’t worry because your romantic gestures will get you hours and hours of fun afterwards.

If you are thinking of heading straight for the bedroom, planning to seduce her from there, you are going to fail miserably. Your seduction should always start with something basic then move forward to something sensual and unique.

Something Basic
If you wish to do something basic you can either go out for a candle lit dinner, a walk on the beach or talk to her over drinks. During your pre-seduction adventure you should be able to romance her with your words. Hopefully.

Something Sensual and Unique
After your pre-seduction adventure you will want to have something sensual planned for desert. Your sensual adventure should start and end at your place but it can also involve going to a beach chalet, another home you have or a hotel room. This sensual romance is the beginning of foreplay, which is the start of the fun. Have some desert ready at your destination and include two to three events to perform where you can concentrate on her with your actions. Things you can have planned include sharing deserts, spending time on a rug with cushions, a sensual massage, some time in the hot tub (with swim wear as not to seem too eager) or anything that includes the five senses.

Where ever you end up, you will have to take the time to look at the atmosphere. Here are some helpful tips to increase your seduction success.

Atmosphere
The decor of your location is the first thing that you have to look at. Some things that will add romance, while others will kill it. First, it is also important to look at cleanliness. Remember it is not your friends that are coming over, it is your partner. If your home smells like left over pizza and beer, you can kiss your night of seduction goodbye. Speaking of the smell of your house, purchasing some incense or aromatic burning oils will be one of the best investments for your home. Not only will it make your home smell better, but the scent of incense or oils can have some powerful effects on your partner.

Lighting is the best way to set the mood when you get her home. If you already have lamps in your home, let's hope that you can dim them. If you can't dim your lights don't worry, purchase some candles and have fun under candlelight.

Finally, you should look at some soft music to play in the background. Sensual music includes jazz, R & B, or classical. Have the music soft enough so you can hardly notice it is on, but loud enough so that it is not overbearing and doesn't interrupt your night. Remember conversation is key to the seduction process.

Your Words
The words that you use, and how you use them, can make or break your date. Always remember compliments go a long way when it comes to sex. Since many females are self-conscious about their body and their looks, complimenting them on things that they are insecure about will make them feel more confident and comfortable around you. Don’t try too hard because your words won’t seem sincere. Stick to two or three compliments before sex, during sex, and after sex.

When it comes to her sense of self you can compliment:
Her attitude, looks, clothes, touch, hairstyle, perfume or how she makes you feel

Here are some body parts you can compliment:
Her eyes, hands, face, skin, lips, butt, back, breasts and legs, even toes.

Foreplay
Though many men don’t enjoy foreplay, it is very important for the female. Men are always jumping the gun. Women enjoy foreplay because it has you concentrating on her entire body instead of just the genitals. When it comes to foreplay, make sure you touch, lick, and kiss her entire body. As you do this, watch how she reacts to where you touch her and the different ways that you touch her. Foreplay should involve all five senses so look at enhancing them. The best advice when it comes to foreplay, is using a gentle touch and going as slow as possible and so you know, foreplay should last between fifteen minutes to two hours. Don't laugh if you want to have a smile on your face tonight.

Intercourse
This is the FUN, and also the part that most men are looking forward to. Most men see intercourse as penetration, but the best sex mixes both intercourse and foreplay. Furthermore, you should switch positions only when necessary. At most you will probably go through five or six different positions so try mixing it up by incorporating all of the basic positions (woman on top, man on top, spooning, standing, sitting, and rear entry) and spending about five minutes in each position. Though men love speeding sex up, you should be going as slow as possible when it comes to foreplay and seduction.

Although this is true, the tempo and speed of sex should always be changing. Try switching your tempo by speeding up and slowing down to tease her and make her want more. Another benefit of slowing down is that it allows you to last longer and increase your stamina in the bedroom. The trick is whenever you feel like you are about to orgasm, slow down briefly or stop penetrating completely while you use your hand and mouth on her. It sometimes takes a longer period for her and if you cum first she may pull you back into her to satisfy her till climax. Will you be able to?

After play
Afterplay is what a couple does after sex, and no, falling asleep is not afterplay. This includes things such as kissing, cuddling, holding each other, and talking. During this time, all people, especially women, are very vulnerable because of the intimacy involved in sex. The best thing you can do is make sure you spend five to ten minutes with each other, before you fall asleep. Once again I stress, conversation is key.

Your Mindset
Your attitude and the way you think when it comes to seduction will do wonders for how your partner views you. If you are confident with all of your actions and what you do, it will show when you are with her. Remember that confidence comes from planning and technique.

Bar advice. By incorporating all this, seduction success with your partner will be receptive with regards to sex and of course this will lead to even more adventurous nights together.

A friend

2008-03-18T22:23:00.004+08:00

A Friend....
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the "real" truth unlike other people
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

Bar advice. What sort of friends do you have in your life? If you got someone with these qualities, stick with them.

Respect the breast

2008-03-16T22:09:00.005+08:00

Coconuts, hooters, honkers, udders, melons, fun-bags are some of the names. I think we all know(and love) what we’re talking about here. Hardly a breast goes by that any normal man doesn't admire but how many men truly know how to respect the breast?

Breast respect scores huge points with women, so whether you are a moderate fan or a die hard addict it’s time to learn how to better respect the breast. Few men go through life without alarming women with strange attitudes or actions towards their breasts. A woman’s breasts hold unbelievable power. There are both physically and symbolically significant to both sexes, and therefore must be treated appropriately. Women hold different impressions of their own mammories. Some are too small, too large, too droopy, uneven and all others but in the end the same rules apply to men the world over when it comes to every type, size and shape of breast. Treat it with respect. So how do you go about respecting the breast while having a mind blowing sexual encounter with a woman?

There are a few guidelines to follow that will help you to drive a woman mad with pleasure at the same time as you show her most prestigious body part the respect that it deserves. First of all you must remember that breasts are not a child’s play toy. They are, however, very much a play toy for adults. As such, breasts must be played with in a fun, stimulating and sensual adult manner. They are not, on the other hand, to be treated as your long lost preschool toy.

For example, as much as she might laugh as you refer to them as hooters, there is no need to go around "hooting" at them on a daily basis. They are not attached to the handlebars of your bike or the steering wheel of your car. You are a grown man, so only if you really must hoot once and end it. Tuning nipples as if there are knobs of your car radio will also grow old very quickly with women, so tune the nipple-knob dial sparingly if you hope to spend any more time with her. It is also very important to pay attention to your pressure and touch when it comes to breast respect. Women’s breasts feel differently at different times of the month, depending on hormones and cycles.

While one girl might love it when you squeeze her breasts together with great pressure, the next one might find it mildly painful or uncomfortable. Alternately, the same woman might love soft biting and pinching majority of the time but they cringe at it if her breasts are in a more sensitive condition around “that” time of the month. Know what I mean? Since you can never really be sure as to what a woman’s preference for pressure and touch will be at any given time, it is always a good idea to start with light pressure and a soft touch. Once you can sense her pleasure and enjoyment increase the weight of your touch. If you are lucky, she will want you to build up to the satisfying squeezing that will make your sexual encounter all the more enjoyable for you both.

When if comes to breast respect, you must always remember that those lovely orbs are always to be treated as a compliment not a detriment to your encounter. Whether they are small or large, be sensitive to them at all times. This includes the nipples size, shape and colour. A woman’s breasts are different than a man’s in that they can be used in so many different ways. By enjoying them to their fullest advantage, you are paying respect to the breasts and their owner. If you are party to a medium or large sized breast, you might engage with them "Spanish" style, where you have her squeeze them together and create a pleasurable bosom tunnel for your manhood. To make it even more enjoyable, you might introduce lubricant into the encounter. You are guaranteed to enjoy this but remember to gauge her interest and enjoyment as well. If she is a smaller sized woman, encourage her to go on top. As she leans over they will form cleavage that will be much more enjoyable than when she is on her back.

What if you have said and done all the right things, but you sense that she is just not into enjoying her breasts as much as you are? Chances are its from one of two things. The first may be insecurity. Whether she thinks they are too small or large, the only thing you can do to reassure her is to tell her that they are fabulous, and just the right size. Sometimes you find women who are conscious of her breast will only reveal them in the dark. The other reason she might be hesitant about making the most of her breast, is because she has not done so before. If she is used to being with men who don’t respect the breast and who are simply obsessed with booty, then she is likely inexperienced with getting her breasts heavily involved in the sexual encounter. The lack of men stimulating her arousal by playing with the breast is lacking in this case.

Take it slow and keep it sensual, and she will likely grow into the pleasure of her own breasts. On a more general note, remember to pay breasts their due respect in all environments both inside and outside the bedroom. Maybe the secretary in your office has a great set of hooters. Sure you can pass a glance at them every so often, but do not stare at them or look at them when you are talking to her. This will quickly get you labeled the office pervert. If you must take a glance, compliment her sweater and move on. She knows you're looking but she wants them admired not ogled at. When it comes to meeting new people the same rule applies.

Say you are hitting on a woman at the bar with the most scrumptious breasts that you have ever seen. Tell her that she has a beautiful body and take the conversation elsewhere. If she thinks that you are only interested in her breasts, which may very well be the case, she will likely shut you down. Treat those great hooters as part of a great package and you will win her over, and hopefully have her over, in no time. A woman’s breasts are the closest thing to her heart so respect them at all times. The respect will be returned to you in the finest way known to man.

Bar advice. Cleavage seen is an indicator that she's loves what she's got. Is not afraid to flaunt it but is willing to only give it to the one that respects it.

Sweet jazz and all lovers

2008-03-13T01:34:00.005+08:00

The ultimate collection of late night, mood-setting jazz, featuring classic performances by Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Diana Krall, Tony Bennett, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday and many more Jazz greats! Playboy Jazz label is great.

An all-star program of great jazz standards provides the listener(or participant) with hours of fine and dulcet music. Program commentary and track personnel are included. For all lovers of sweet jazz and all lovers.

Bar advice. Ironically even Playboy knows that lovers love jazz. It's a nice soothing tone to any occasion especially if you're making love.

The formula that many girls use to control guys

2008-03-12T23:53:00.003+08:00

What is this formula? Lets look at some of what girls do and why. Meet the behaviorist.With these "behaviorist" type girls, I'm about to explain about, it's a constant manipulation that never ends until they get bored or you get wise. By the way, if I sound too harsh with all of this revenge talk, don't worry. One of two things will happen when you learn the secret to pulling yourself out of the "behaviorists" clutches.

When she misses out on a nice guy like you either she'll find another chump(or several more) to replace you or maybe she'll realize that she wants to drop the BS and hey, maybe she just missed out on something great(you) and she better shape up before she misses out again. The ironic thing here is that guys and girls can be behaviorists. Lets see what I mean.

"Behaviorists" more often than not learned how manipulation works inside and out by gaming their fathers( mothers for guys) for attention. How can you tell if she's a behaviorist type girl? It's actually pretty simple. Though you do need a little bit of information about her to figure it out. Here's the test.

If a girl seems to like you, find out why(do this directly by asking and also indirectly by noticing clues). There are two kinds of "answers" that she can give. Here's the test.

Answer for girl type #1. "The way you *behave* makes me happy."
Examples of this would be. "You gave me one of the happiest days of my life, I spend time with you, that should tell you how I feel about you, because new years was so much fun, because I like the way you look and dress."

Answer for girl type #2. "I admire certain qualities about you."
Examples would be, "Because you're intelligent, because you're kind and I feel safe around you, because I find you're good looking, because you're so respectful of people, because you're a good man."

Now lets do the self test. Have you already guessed which girl type you should turn tail and run as soon as you identify? Before I tell you, let me give you a little bit of the psychology behind what's going on here, and maybe if you don't already have it, you'll get it before I spill the beans. Now, with the second type of girl, the quality girl, her motivation is going to be to encourage you to become smarter, kinder, more respectful and all around better in your qualities as a person. The first type, the behaviorist, that we're warning you about is motivated to direct your energies towards getting you to behave in the way that she likes. She operates on a reward/punishment type of plan with you. A girl who likes you for your qualities doesn't need to reward and punish you, but a girl who likes you for your behavior will think that she does. Yes, the first kind of girl in the example above is the type of girl to drop like a hot potato. As for the second, please don't tell me you can't figure it out.

Now, if these behaviorist type girls are made out as vampires, then where are their fangs? Empty promises of future value. With the behaviorist type girl the manipulation will almost always center around the hope that she'll follow through on some promise, spoken or implied. Really, that's how almost any con artist works, if you think about it. That doesn't mean she'll break every promise. Heck, you might even get sex sometimes but the pattern will be one of lies and half truths with a trail of broken promises.Here's an example from online dating.

The biggest trap when it comes to online dating is the virtual relationship. These can go on and on and they center around behaviorist type girls bilking you for what they want. A good buddy to chat with and the possibility of more but only if she wants it. There's always the promise that you'll get together and perhaps even a great degree of virtual intimacy but there's no payoff at least not one worth your time. It may not be all online dating site with girls like this but because there's so many it's hard to tell who is the 'real deal'.

Bottom line. Cut the behaviorist totally out of your life, including out of your thoughts and you will be way happier. Plus, then you'll actually be ready when the 'real-deal' girl comes by. This may sound like crazy advice for anybody else listening including but what you end up with in a behaviorist is a girl who doesn't love you at all. She just "loves" when you behave the way she likes. Once her premise is that of your behavior and not your personal qualities, are what makes her happy, then there's really nowhere else for her to turn but to conditioning your behavior.

When you identify a behaviorist, don't try to "beat" them or "get" them back, or find some value in them. Instead move pass. Don't hesitate and waste time. If another girl was already in your bed, you wouldn't care about the behaviorist, right? So, realize that right now, and forget about behaviorists immediately. You don't have to wait until you replace them. Besides, you'll be a lot more successful in finding the right replacement if your mind isn't all clouded with the wrong one.

Lastly. "Quality women" aren't at fault for the existence of so many behaviorist women that suck your life dry. As a matter of fact, they are probably more frustrated by the behaviorist women than you are. After all, it's not the quality girl's fault that she doesn't make the wild promises that a behaviorist will make. Which puts a genuine girl at a disadvantage unless you know how to appreciate that they are better for you. This is the formula that many girls use to control guys. Sad to say it but it's true but I know there's a lot of good women out there too. However, at least you guys are armed with some knoweledge.

Bar advice. Here's how I see it. A "7" who likes you for your qualities is really a "10" while a "10" who wants to control you is a "0"

In good times and bad before marriage and after

2008-03-09T01:03:00.004+08:00

The saying is "opposites attract." So what happens to love faced with obstacles of dissimilar backgrounds, different belief systems or long distance love affairs? Does it signal impending doom of a lasting relationship? Major differences do have an impact on whether or not love will last, but the good news is there are things you can do to ensure you don't fall victim to circumstance no matter how intricate your situation.

Lets look at some differences. Conflicting beliefs need to be addressed, if only so lovers can better understand each other. Though no single difference can guarantee that the love won't work, let's face it, there are deal breakers. Lets take some examples like these. Do you want kids? Do you want to build a life in the city? Will you live in a house or an apartment? Do you like pets? At some point or another, it's important that you assess them. Remember, before you met the one you're involved with, they had a life with dreams of happiness and everlasting love. Will you be the one?

Lead with your heart not your past. Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you're in love, things that you've always held dear like religion, lifestyle, political beliefs or whatever you care about, won't really matter. Likewise, if long distance is cool for you now, but only for the short term, that also needs to be addressed. Naturally it's up to the two of you to decide what your non-negotiable key points are, but if you don't discuss them, it's not fair to harbor resentment later for the difference or disagreement.

An enourmous point is to be honest. Similarly, no relationship can transcend troubles without complete honesty though it may not seem like it in the early throes of love, even the simplest of situations will eventually encounter the occasional rocky patch. For this reason, and a list of others too long to name, it's vital that you tell your partner the truth about your feelings related to any potential conflicts, to avoid unnecessary hurt and unmet expectation in the future. This enables both partners to act from a place of honesty and trust, even in the face of adversity.If you're honest from the beginning and your partner sees the real you, it's better than to see it after the relationship goes on longer or worse still, be horified after marriage.

Singles that become couples must work as a team. One key component to overcoming obstacles and making love last and one that comes up far too infrequently in our individualistic culture, is that truly committed partners need to consider themselves a team. While they may not always agree and most certainly are not always right, they are each other's advocates. In good times and bad before marriage and after, knowing deep down that you can always count on your lover for a shoulder to cry on or as a cheerleader for your victories, is the glue that holds you together and one real way to help ensure all those differences don't really matter.

Bar advice. Communication is the vital relationship advice in good times and bad way before the marriage and after. You'll see a clearer and better life with your partner.

International Women's Day

2008-03-08T23:45:00.010+08:00

ABOUT INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

International Women's Day has been observed since in the early 1900's, a time of great expansion and turbulence in the industrialized world that saw booming population growth and the rise of radical ideologies.

1908
Great unrest and critical debate was occurring amongst women. Women's oppression and inequality was spurring women to become more vocal and active in campaigning for change. Then in 1908, 15000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.

1909
In accordance with a declaration by the Socialist Party of America, the first National Woman's Day (NWD) was observed across the United States on 28 February. Women continued to celebrate NWD on the last Sunday of February until 1913.

1910
At a Socialist International meeting in Copenhagen, an International Women's Day of no fixed date was proposed to honour the women's rights movement and to assist in achieving universal suffrage for women. Over a hundred women from seventeen countries unanimously agreed the proposal. Three of these women were later elected the first women to the Finnish parliament.

1911
Following the decision agreed at Copenhagen in 1911, International Women's Day (IWD) was honoured the first time in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland on 19 March. More than one million women and men attended IWD rallies campaigning for women's rights to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination. However less than a week later on 25 March, the tragic 'Triangle Fire' in New York City took the lives of more than 140 working women, most of them Italian and Jewish immigrants. This disastrous event drew significant attention to working conditions and labour legislation in the United States that became a focus of subsequent International Women's Day events. 1911 also saw women's 'Bread and Roses' campaign.

1913-1914
On the eve of World War I campaigning for peace, Russian women observed their first International Women's Day on the last Sunday in February 1913. In 1914 further women across Europe held rallies to campaign against the war and to express women's solidarity.

1917
On the last Sunday of February, Russian women began a strike for "bread and peace" in response to the death over two million Russian soldiers in war. Opposed by political leaders the women continued to strike until four days later the Czar was forced to abdicate and the provisional Government granted women the right to vote. The date the women's strike commenced was Sunday 23 February on the Julian calendar then in use in Russia. This day on the Gregorian calendar in use elsewhere was 8 March.

1918-1999
Since its birth in the socialist movement, International Women's Day has grown to become a global day of recognition and celebration across developed and developing countries alike. For decades, IWD has grown from strength to strength annually. For many years the United Nations has held an annual IWD conference to coordinate international efforts for women's rights and participation in social, political and economic processes. 1975 was designated as 'International Women’s Year' by the United Nations. Women's organisations and governments around the world have also observed IWD annually on 8 March by holding large scale events that honour women's advancement and while diligently reminding of the continued vigilance and action required to ensure that women's equality is gained and maintained in all aspects of life.

2000-2007
IWD is now an official holiday in Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers.

The new millennium has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal shift in both women's and society's thoughts about women's equality and emancipation. Many from a younger generation feel that 'all the battles have been won for women' while many feminists from the 1970's know only too well the longevity and ingrained complexity of patriarchy. With more women in the boardroom, greater equality in legislative rights, and an increased critical mass of women's visibility as impressive role models in every aspect of life, one could think that women have gained true equality. The unfortunate fact is that women are still not paid equally to that of their male counterparts, women still are not present in equal numbers in business or politics, and globally women's education, health and the violence against them is worse than that of men.

However, great improvements have been made. We do have female astronauts and prime ministers, school girls are welcomed into university, women can work and have a family, women have real choices. And so the tone and nature of IWD has, for the past few years, moved from being a reminder about the negatives to a celebration of the positives.

Annually on 8 March, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate their achievements. While there are many large scale initiatives, a rich and diverse fabric of local activity connects women from all around the world ranging from political rallies, business conferences, government activities and networking events through to local women's craft markets, theatric performances, fashion parades and more.

Many global corporations have also started to more actively support IWD by running their own internal events and through supporting external ones. For example, on 8 March search engine and media giant Google even changes its logo on its global search pages. Corporations like HSBC host the UK's largest and longest running IWD event delivered by women's company Aurora. Last year Nortel sponsored IWD activities in over twenty countries and thousands of women participated. Nortel continues to connect its global workforce though a coordinated program of high-level IWD activity, as does Accenture both virtually and offline.

Accenture supports more than 2,000 of its employees to participate in its International Women's Day activities that include leadership development sessions, career workshops and corporate citizenship events held across six continents - in eight cities in the United States and in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Germany, India, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Spain, South Africa and the UK. Accenture also coordinated am IWD webcast featuring stories about Accenture women worldwide that ran uninterrupted for thirty hours across eleven time zones via Accenture's intranet. Year on year IWD is certainly increasing in status. The United States even designates the whole month of March as 'Women's History Month'.

So make a difference, think globally and act locally!! Make everyday International Women's Day. Do your bit to ensure that the future for girls is bright, equal, safe and rewarding.

Bar advice. Taken from http://www.internationalwomensday.com so go there to see videos and pictures from around the world. You ROCK girl!!

Being predictable

2008-03-06T04:21:00.006+08:00

There is no greater sin than being boring when you're trying to attract beautiful women. In fact, this is the number one cause of nice guy, friend only. It's not that women don't like nice guys. Oftentimes the "let's just be friends" have some sincerity in them. It's that nice guys aren't exciting. They're predictable.

Let's face it, almost everyone will pick exciting over pleasant every time. Guys too. How many sites are set up devoted to the hotness of Pamela Anderson? How many are set up exalting the attributes of Jane Austen heroines? Have you ever even had the patience to finish a Jane Austen novel? I rest my case. Nice guys often wind up in this atrocious position where they do everything "right" and his object of affection wants to "like" him because there's just is no spark.

She wishes like hell she could fall for such a sweet man who would treat her as well as anyone but she just can't. Her head is all into you, but her heart is somewhere else. Possibly being a free spirit. Wanting her desires and sexual needs to be fulfilled. Her heart is seeking adventure. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to go mountain climbing or skydiving on a first date but it does mean you can't be predictable. You can't be bland and inoffensive because that path is so obvious she'll know what you'll say and do five minutes before you do it. How long can you watch a painfully formulated movie before getting annoyed especially if there aren't any explosions? Exactly.

Women do seek the trill of being swept off their feet by their handsome 'prince charming' but in reality very few actually will. They do feel at ease with someone less attractive by their side because the tendency for the man to leave her is low. Somehow you find that women, like on online dating sites, highlight the point that they are not worried about looks. This can be because she's either getting older, wants to feel secure that he won't be going off looking for another woman anytime soon or would not want to be in a jealous relationship and be miserable.

Guys looking to get into a better relationship with women should stop being predictable. Women have a intuition about men but if you do something out of the blue, extraordinarily or spontaneously; you throw them off the scent. They will see you differently. Their normal patterns start to change. Now they start to get excited. They look forward to seeing you, hearing your voice or meeting up again. After some time you'll find that she's willing to jump in the sack with you. However, I advise you not to. Why? If you grab the invitation too quickly you jump right back onto the 'normal' path of being predictable.

Bar advice. If you want to have some really good sex you really need to hold back first. I know it's hard but it will be worth it. Trust the unpredictability.

Social spheres

2008-03-04T21:48:00.006+08:00

Guys, memorizing a few common openers when meeting girls and being prepared builds some confidence to "just do it" for those who constantly hesitate and, in doing so, their results will improve because they are at least doing something whereas before they did nothing. Hence, the perception of better results based on material when, in fact, at least for the beginner, the bigger impact comes from taking action versus not taking action.

Once you get over this hump and approaching girls are no longer issues, you will begin to feel the need to have a natural context for normal conversations to take place. When approaching women you need to focus on getting under the radar to get "in' faster and easier than what might otherwise be perceived as a "pickup". You may wonder why this is important. It is a subtlety that you won't hear about often because it requires the person to explain social context, especially the context of a typical woman's world and thought process. Most women who aren't normally promiscuous, especially when they're younger, see the world of meeting men as; through friends, being introduced or waiting until they are approached.

Still, even when a man approaches her, in the back of her mind she will later have to describe to her girlfriends and immediate social network how she met him. She does not want to be perceived as promiscuous(even if she is) and she, like many women, will need to feel validated. Unlike most men, most women know they can get just about any man to sleep with them if they just simply offer. It's the truth! This, however, is not the goal for them. The primary goal is to find a man who they are interested in, but there is a lot of pressure to also meet him through established "social spheres". Let's review some places of intimacy or familiarity that would meet, within a woman's social context or the notion of a "social sphere" that meets approval would be.
* Met at a respectable vacation resort
* Met at a location of mutual interest(museum, concert, etc)
* Met at a social club event(painting class, pottery, etc)
* Met at a private party(wedding, celebration, holiday, etc)
* Have a mutual friend(better still a parents friend)
* Involved in mutual activity (volunteering, hobby)
* Go to same school(university, management, etc)
* Work at same company(co-worker or client)

In contrast, those situations women will feel their friends,family, or co-workers might look upon negatively.
* Happen to be in same place, no context
* Met on the Internet
* Met in a bar or club
* Met on the street
* Met at random but common location (store, elevator,etc)

For women, at least if anything more than a secret fling is to occur, the means in which they meet must match their notion(and their friends' notions) of "social sphere". That is not to say the places that will have negative approval cannot be construed to be within a "social sphere" context. Only that upon initial reflection how such situations will be seen. I'll explain in a moment.

Guys, put yourself in places and situations where the women you meet will not hesitate based on a context that people they know will not look upon negatively. It's easier to meet women from within the context of social spheres or mutual interests than walking up to them as a literal stranger. The point here is to explain 'why' this is the case and with the knowledge of 'why' we can now get to the good stuff. How to still succeed in places and situations that would normally be stacked against you!

It is possible to get past context issues by playing with subtlety. Imagine approaching women within their social spheres as a "hot" approach and approaching her outside those circles as a"cold" approach. Then the way you look at this is to find an avenue for a middle ground to turn "cold" approaches into "warm" ones. You can also see warm approaches as possibly more positive for her because they allow her to pursue a relationship that, if doesn't go well, won't put the structure of her established social sphere into chaos. For example, if you meet a woman in a bookstore, you must find common ground of familiarity(same book section) and context to allow for what could be perceived as "social sphere". You can even bend the laws of logic to do so! So long as you can achieve attraction in the interaction. Context issues will not be a problem if you can have her perceive the meeting to be at least peripherally within her perception of her social sphere.

A girl in the foreign language section of the bookstore might be interested to learn a new language. For the context of that approach, so are you. That is your subtle context but that's not enough. There must be familiarity with something in the environment. In terms of conversation and interaction, this would be known as "rapport", but in terms of initiating to meet someone, it would be a shared element of the environment or a shared observation. In addition, opening this way allows you to quickly find a context of familiarity and rapport but, and this is a big but, you must not chase the rapport, but rather allow it to come about on its own through your lead.

With this style of warm approach, you utilize an observation of the environment around her to create your opener and deepen the connection to her social sphere by connecting the overall environment to a mutual interest or lifestyle or common connection. You may not come up with the greatest of openers your first few times but getting the swing of this style of approach actually gets you in deeper from the start. You must work on your powers of observation. To get you started, here is a list of things in her environment you can take notice of.
*Where you both are
*Something she is looking at
*Something she is wearing or using
*Something interesting in front of her
*Music which may be playing in the background
*Someone on TV(if there's one nearby)
*Some occasion in the country(national holiday, etc)

Once opened, pinpoint a common ground for you and her and during conversation reinforce(interpret) how this common ground connects the both of you and continue with the attraction skills that you know best. Remember that you are just getting to know someone that will be weary of you, your approach, your intentions and may have been hurt in the past. Take it slow guys. You need to breath as well.

Bar advice. The women also are assessing you so don't expect all doors to be opened. It doesn't work that way.

Top Secret Fat Loss Secret

2008-03-03T06:37:00.004+08:00

In what is perhaps the most shocking announcement made in some time regarding the diet and health industry, a lady doctor has just released what some authorities are calling the world's "Top Secret Fat Loss Secret!"

The woman doctor, whose name is Dr Suzanne Gudakunst, has really upset the major food & drug industries, as well as weight loss manufactured food companies.

In the past six years she has worked largely in secret developing what may be the "cure" for obesity and testing this first on herself, and then on a select group of volunteer patients who anxiously awaited salvation from the harmful effects of suffering "the battle of bulge." So valuable her shocking findings and proven results are, that she's now just released her simple and easy-to-do system under the aptly titled; "Top Secret Fat Loss Secret!" and her timing couldn't be better! ...

Since recent studies reveal obesity has now reached epidemic proportions, her secret may well prove a major life saver to the now more than 40% of people alone who are labeled "obese!"

Children are now considered "fatter than ever" by most experts, and Dr Suzanne's remedy may prove a preventative in the fight against later-in-life developed diabetes when these same children grow into adults!

And what may be the BIGGEST "Shock" of all is this horrifying fact. Dr Suzanne has received death threats for simply making her secret fat loss solution available to the general public and from what law enforcement investigators believe may be insiders in the weight-loss or diet food manufacturing and weight-loss drug treatment industries!

One federal law enforcement official(who insists on remaining nameless) said in confidence, "It's no shock to us at the [agency name withheld for security purposes that this lady doc has received so many threats on her life as food and drug companies stand to lose potentially billions of dollars by the release of her new breakthrough secret for losing weight."

But now with the release of this breakthrough weight and fat loss revelation, people who previously struggled so very hard with little or any success in the fight against the "extra pounds" now have a VAST & POWERFUL WEAPON on their side for a well-deserved change!

When asked if she feared retaliation from pharmaceutical and weight-loss food manufacturers, she said almost too hopefully? "I wish they would do so especially in public because to get fired upon for this would demonstrate more than ever that I must have done something very, very right as anyone with common sense would see that the only reason they are in business in the first place is because being overweight as a population only serves to make them even richer and what I've done is going to free masses of people from being slaves to them for good, even many millions."

So despite the continued threats, Dr Suzanne is more on the ball and out to ruffle as many feathers as she can with her New "TOP SECRET Fat Loss Secret!" To be sure the good doctor isn't going this alone! Nope. She's got some very big heavy-hitters on her side!

Joined in unison by some of the biggest names in modern medicine from the likes of Johns Hopkins, Harvard Medical, and a good number of the other leading world-recognized hospitals and higher-learning institutions, Dr Suzanne moves rapidly forward in her personal "war" on ugly, unwanted fat and for the pursuit of better and eventually optimal health for all! Additionally, you should know that nothing about her secret fat loss cure is difficult or hard to do.

What you may even find strangely surprising about her secret is the fact that it can by done by anyone effortlessly! (You'll have to see it for yourself to understand how this is actually possible!) So if you are someone who has been losing the fight against ugly fat and unwanted extra inches (that eventually without a doubt will shorten your life and lower the quality of it), then this is exactly what the good lady doctor ordered!

Also keep this in mind. How many times have you seen sudden "breakthroughs" of such great controversy potentially come along and cause a woman doctor to actually get death threats for her secret 'know-how?' You're right, very, very few.

Bar advice. Don't overlook this chance as it may very well prove to be one of the most influential and important ones you've ever received. Some of you anyway.

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Singer Cassie

2008-03-03T04:59:00.011+08:00

I recently met R&B Singer Cassie, online. She's currently promoting her new movie and new album out this month. The movie's called Step Out 2. She acts, dances and sings the theme song in it. When I first sent her a message she was kind of pissed off with me because I asked if it was really her adding everything online including the messages. Here's her reply...

"hey there, if u hav ever heard me state in my interviews.... i do my own sites.. no one does the dirty work for me, although there are people here who pose as me.... this is the official cassie site!!"

Could you blame me for thinking that a celebrity would pay someone for doing this work for them. She did forgive me so I guess she may have understood why I asked that question in the first place. Later I asked her if I could call her just by her first name Cassie. I was also going on like I knew her for ages and here's her reply...

"sure u can... im really glad u asked that question... coz really, i have a separate blog at http://www.cassie.ns4life.com.... and i try to keep all my fans updated nd give information on there... and i use You Tube too lol, just look at all the videos on my profile but i really like to keep my fans informed they're the people who made me sooo its only right to interact with them and keep them in the know... oh and the photo comments; thank you so much that was sweet of u.... the latest with me... my major role in the movie step up 2: the streets ... i don't kno if you've heard of it but it was released on valentine's day... and my album will soon be released in may hopefully the 20th...called the return.... and my single... my first single will air on the radio sometime in march called official girl so... ya take care... thnx for being interested!!"

As I was still chatting I check out the blog and found another website which I asked her about because it had videos of her and her hairstylist Caesar talking about a party they attended with other stars and got this reply....

"oh kool http://www.lovecassie.com is my band website,,, but the other site i just named is official as well... and well that video with caeser was a long time ago.... now i am in new york trying to promote both movie and album... any way... i must go... bye!!"

I know there's a lot of grammer mistakes by her. She wasn't writting a blog but a message to me so forgive her. So now once in a while I get a message out and Cassie replies when she's free. Normally within a day or two. Can you believe that? Like I said before, you never know who you can meet online and who can become a friend. I know it's not like she'll be thinking about me or anything like that but it's nice to know she'll remember me every time I send a message. Also she seems so pleasant and down to earth. Cheers to my new friend, her movie and her new album. May she win a Grammy next year.

Bar advice. Don't prejudge who you don't know. People, yes even celebrities, can surprise you with who they are deep down inside.

No feelings

2008-02-29T21:56:00.008+08:00

I often hear people say that after going out with a lady once, how come she wouldn't want to go out with them again. If you guys are asking the same, you'd be treated with this 'final answer' that once and for all lays that question to rest.

A majority of the women coincidentally say, "Because there were NO FEELINGS" to the guy when the date ends. It may seem too unclear, so let's explore what does "no feelings" mean exactly when women say that. Firstly, when a woman goes out with a guy the first time, she's hoping it would be different on that new date as compared to other disappointing ones she went to. She secretly craves to feel some emotions on a date. Hopeful that the guy can spark some special interest in her. In cases where there's zero emotions generated, she tells her friends or colleagues the next day how much the date, or the guy, sucked. She also uses these words to get out of guys that are pester her constantly to go out or who she feels may disclose that he likes her.

Opposite is true too. When she did experience feelings on a date, she'll tell her friends how much she wanted to see that guy again. So, on an unspoken level, a woman wants to feel three primary emotions on a date.

1)She wants to feel you are interesting. That means having a 'thrill factor' and fascination associated with interacting with you. Most dates are called 'boring' by ladies simply because she experienced a lack of something new. As a guideline, the amount of giggling and smiles from the female is a fair measure of how interesting the experience is. Use that as a measurement device for the amount of interest you generate on a date. However, being interesting alone is not enough sometimes.

2)She wants feelings of getting attracted to you. Human beings have 'mating habits', just like any other species on earth. Within these mating habits, there are "rules" that define what makes a man "high mating quotient" and what makes him a person of "low mating quotient". The good news is, man is a 'self-correcting' species, with the ability to learn and turn from low to high mating quotient. On a date, it's your role to reflect the super male traits that women naturally get attracted to in a man. This is no bull. It's instinctive in females since the dawn of mankind and caveman days when trying to develope a realtionship.

3)She wants to feel she bonded with you. You may have the most interesting things to say, but if you don't know how to create closeness or bridge the gap between you and her, the date may not work out well. It's a pity when some guys go out with women and spend the whole day chatting but in the end nothing is done to pull close the distance. You may get a shot at another date but if it happens again you'll be pushed to the "friends" list in her book.

So, the date is simply a 'frame of time' that gives you an opportunity to bring about the above feelings in the gal. One thing's for sure, you'll definitely find yourself in dating situations with women in future. Since it's going to be unavoidable, try to masterfully ace that date. How; is going to be up to you guys really.

Bar advice. There will be times when a lady just 'clicks' with you right off the bat. Well, don't waste too much time thinking about what skills to use. Let things take a natural course.

Flirting tips and relationship advice for women

2008-02-27T01:19:00.004+08:00

Flirting is your way of letting the opposite sex know that you're "on the prowl". How available you are determines how you flirt and how serious you are about making and taking things to the next level. Here we'll discuss tips on how women can flirt with positive results. This is not a discussion about women being equals or being submissive to a male, but rather a primer on tactics that will attract interest to men. Everything that comes after you have gotten his interest is up to you and your style. The relationship advice portion is added to expand on what can happen.

Now, everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you don't want him to think you don't have an interest in him do you? Best beginning is to glace over to him often until you have gotten a contact of about two seconds. This will establish the setting. If you're insecure about this you'll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really must look at him to begin the flirting process. Looking away will will throw him off and that's hardly what you want, is it? If you're really confidant, don't go making the reverse mistake by staring at him. Men may love it but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed. The best is a balance of looking into his eyes and then looking down to break the tension. Most women do this almost naturally but that too may not work. Why? Well, a guy won't know to if he should approach or if you're just looking for a hair pin that dropped. He may just leave you alone and you'll get nowhere.

Another key element would be to smile. Naturally most women do if they're talking to someone but even if you're just looking from a far keep it on because you never know who else may be interested. If a guy sees a smiling face he may be more at ease to approach even if he was not the intended person directed. When he talks, smile in appropriate places and be conscious of your smile as you talk. Don't sit there with a false grin or he'll think you've forgotten to take your medication. A smile shows interest and best of all, it's contagious. If you combine this with appropriate eye contact it will begin to solidify your hold over him and you can progress to the next step.

Keeping interest. Nobody likes it when someone ignores them or doesn't pay attention to them. Guys find it hard enough trying to talk to women. If you don't show interest in what he does or says, he's going to think you're not interested and if he starts shifting interest to your girlfriends or someone else, don't blame him. People leading busy lives fail to remember to take a little to vest in the interest of the person they're with. This is also true for men with women.

Conversation should be light and easy. It should also be flowing with fun and talking about interesting subjects won't bore anyone. If you've been out several times already maybe you can start to share some deeper conversations about relationship concerns but if you don't think it's the right time, leave it out. No necessity for heavy commitments at the beginning. If you start to pressure a guy into a deeper relationship after the first or few meetings, he's going to run for the hills. He's either going to think you've just ended a relationship and you're on the rebound, isn't ready and is just jumping at whatever falls in your lap at the moment or you're completely psychotic. Very rarely, but, who in their right mind starts a relationship that quick and with someone you barely know? Are you that desperate?

Behaviour is something that a lot of guys are always checking. What do I mean by this? A lot of guys like it when their girls are at their sides. They may talk to others but they appreciate it, especially when talking among other guys, that the girl will touch them, hold their hand or place it on their shoulder leaning a little. Maybe even a kiss before heading to the ladies room. This is because men want to feel like the women they're with really wants them. She's not interested in anyone else there and she's not looking anymore. Another thing is women that get drunk or really high tend to change into some witch from the depths of the piss pot. She's not only taking loudly but she's demeaning him, scolding, shouting, crying, showing tantrums like a kid and worse of all her clothes are either coming off or parts of her are being exposed to everyone. No guy wants anything to do with YOU if you're like that.

Being a secret friend can be a decider in a blossoming relationship. What's that you ask? They guy likes it when you tell him a secret about yourself. Let it be something that others don't know but also isn't damaging to you if you two break up later on. Also keeping him in confidence about work and family difficulties makes a guy feel that you value him enough to seek his advice or opinions. Try also to get him to open up to you in this manner and as time goes by you two will be sharing stuff like you were already husband and wife for years. So you see, my relationship advice and flirting tips for women could be beneficial to you.

Bar advice. There's obviously more than meets the eye on all these flirting tips and relationship advice but these are some good factors to consider when the next guy comes along.

The wonder of girls

2008-02-25T08:12:00.006+08:00

Therapist Micheal Gurian probes the unique aspects of girls' emotional, social and physical development. First, though, he takes a few stabs at feminism, arguing that several of its theories (which, it must be noted, he incorrectly over simplifies) need to be revised or even discarded by parents seeking to raise healthy girls. But Gurian's trademark is examining how biology impacts behavior. Biological matters hormones, brain differences (girls' brains are "more broadly active" than boys' and have 15% more blood flow) ultimately define girls' and boys' journeys through childhood and adolescence, Gurian argues in his book, The wonder of girls.

Even a girl's drop in self-esteem during adolescence is a "natural," biological phenomenon rather than a result of negative cultural influences. Feminists, he argues, have ignored the biological differences in order to successfully compete with men in the workplace; in so doing, they have denied or downplayed a girl's desire for intimacy and the experience of motherhood. Gurian urges parents to use a new model in raising girls (he calls it "Womanism") in which motherhood is a "season" when careers must be adjusted or put on hold. The author boldly suggests that parents prepare their daughters for the sacrifices of motherhood, and ensure that girls establish a three family system (the nuclear family, the extended family and institutions such as church or school) that will meet their need for intimate relationships. Expect Gurian's arguments to stir controversy and inspire thought.

Bar advice. This may just tick off some women out there but there's a lot of stuff that's beneficial for girls this day and age that is lacking in modern day. Read to see.

Anal Sex - How to get them to Want It

2008-02-25T06:26:00.005+08:00

This is a continuation of people that are inquisitive about the taboo subject of anal sex. It may help with some of the questions for those trying to get your partner to have it with you. Don't get me wrong, there's also a lot of girls that are happy doing it and will want you to do it or expect you to.

Probably the slow approach is best. Some girls that may already have done it and want's to do it with you may not tell you that they like it or want it at first so that they don't look eager. After all they don't want to be seen as sluty or easy. Taking it slower is best and all will come together.

The taboo about this subject is something that covers it being "bad", "not good", "evil", "not done by others", "immoral" and so on. These taboos are normal and natural to expect because this was designed as an "out hole" and not an "in hole". Check all avenues to clear your minds of what you need to know. Also check out www.askdanandjennifer.com for more help. Lets hope these two You Tube videos are some help in the matter.

Bar advice. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is up to you. Just remember that a girl showing her leg above the knee use to be taboo. Would you consider it silly today?

Anal sex

2008-02-25T04:40:00.011+08:00

In today's world, anal sex is not seen as taboo as some time ago. It has become part of mainstream sexual intercourse. In previous years, some twenty perhaps, anal sex in X-rated movies was really the "extreme". Those that see and do it now feel it is normal. Back then it was unthinkable.

I guess it was just a matter of time before it did become mainstream but for a lot of women it is still something that they are not use to. After all they're not porn stars putting on a show. They're not use to it and a lot of them probably feel that it hurts too much to be considered as pleasurable. It's hard enough trying to understand and enjoy the normal sexual parts of the body and now they have to figure out what's lacking or what they may be missing out on. That's the thoughts they are having and the worst thing is, they don't have anyone to talk to about this subject when they may have boyfriends or husbands that have asked for it.

I know, I know, you women are going to say "he's just going to have to live without it" but guess what; you're curious too. Women today have probably seen the act itself on the Internet or photos spread in some networking website like Myspace or Tagged. The photos will be splashed all over by people trying to seek the attentions of others that enjoy it. The modern day woman is more eager to try new things as well. She will certainly be keen to talk to other woman who have done it or at least get information about the sexual pleasure or discomforts it brings. Women don't want to lose out on anything but they also like to be armed with knowing what their man likes and seeks from a woman.

No, we mustn't count out the secretive world of women that do certain things behind closed doors either. She may have read it in a book, seen a video, talked to a girlfriend that's done it or checked online but one thing that women have that they can rely on to help them adjust if they are going ahead to experiment is, the trusty vibrator. Gels and lubricants can easily be bought so it's going to be easy for her to try it herself without any embarrassments, "forced" pain from a guy or stopping the act of love making half way to the displeasure of her man. They wouldn't want to have their man think that they're not "experienced" or their sexual knowledge is primitive. Of course, the guy may have never done it before either, so he's not about to start asking for anal sex unless he's more knowledgeable. Now the tables have turned.

Men have probably heard, talked about it or seen the act being done more so than women. Instinctively they will probably be more curious because anal sex is also different to them as well. Another place to insert for sexual pleasure needs to be checked out. To be absolutely blunt, unless the woman's been doing it for years, the feeling is one where it will feel tighter and more pleasurable to the man especially when she squeezes and contracts the muscles to ease the pain she may feel. In that process she's unknowingly giving more pleasure to the man without her realizing it. He will just keep stroking back and forth happily while she resists due to pain. However, if she has mentally prepared and is willing, all she has to do is to apply lubricant, resist as little as possible to his motion and she'll probably also enjoy herself. It may take a few times to become easier but it can be satisfying. As I've been told by women.

I know there's a lot of women that will say they are happy with just normal intercourse, maybe some extras, and that's fine. My point here is for those that are in a sexual relationship and want to experiment with each other or for their own pleasure. This is just some relationship advice for them. It's also better to talk to someone about it before proceeding but my advice on this is to talk among yourselves. Why? Well, you two are the ones that will be doing it. Discussing what will happen, the pain threshold, stoppage if there's bleeding(there can be) and whatever comes to mind can be worked out by the lovers easier than someone telling you what to do. It may just make one or both more scared than they already are.

Making love in new ways will keep evolving. No woman sucked on a man's penis before or a man licking a woman at her Virgina. That was unheard of in the western world except that written in the Karma Sutra. The evolution starts when people find new ways of sexual pleasure or desire. It begins with a few but spreads quickly when others find new things pleasurable as well. It slowly becomes acceptable in mainstream sexual intercourse when doctors educate people that it's not a taboo subject or a taboo act anymore. Not just anal sex but anything else that may come in the future.

Bar advice. Anal sex is here to stay. I didn't invent it but someone asked me about it and I had avoided the subject on the blog for some time now but I felt that I have to address it at some point. Probably again in the future as well.

The trill of being sought after

2008-02-22T20:38:00.006+08:00

Going out with women on dates can result in the female having positive emotions about you. Only if you know how to make it not just an ordinary date but one that connects with thrills and emotion exchanges.

Some pointers here. Most guys miss the point. They sweat over which restaurant to bring the girl or which movie will be 'date friendly', etc. The real deal in getting the lady interested is in your interaction with her. Never ever come across like the last five typical dudes a lady has went out with. That doesn't mean you have to dress weird or speak with a funny voice but you must have an ability to inject the "fun factor" at various points during the date. When you're out on a date, you can't simply see yourself as just a 'possible suitor' for the lady. You have to be a "chemistry creator". Learn to "engineer" feelings of liking in women.

The point here is to be a little creative. Do new things that may influence her thoughts about you. Will she remember you after the date? What will her reaction be when she's meeting you the next time, if ever? Did she say she was thinking about you when you called her again? The fact is what you do or say is vital in leaving a good impression to have return invites to meet up with her and possibly further interactions that may also lead to intamacy.

Sometimes it's good to do something surprising. Sending flowers to her office for no reason is one. Why her office? Well, all her colleagues will start to envy her having a thoughtful and romantic guy. She'll smile all day and will be willing to meet up. Another way is showing up to take her to some place special. Now this is a bit tricky. Don't go picking her up when she's dressed all casual with hair and make up out of wack. She'll feel totally out of place with you all spiffy and she looking like drab. Make sure you call, and in the conversation, try to slowly find out what she's dressed like that day so you can plan properly.

Keep this in mind. Women that think they have the upper hand are happier in the relationship. They will play hard to get, although they actually like you. This is because they also like the "chase". They also like to see how well you are at catching their hearts. The trill of being sought after, the hunt, is a game played long ago by women for all time. It's not new and will continue till the end of time.

Bar advice. We guys just have to learn how to master some new ways to get what we desire. Women are not as complex if you just find those certain likes of theirs.

Women's psychology

2008-02-20T23:50:00.004+08:00

I'm going to dabble into some women's psychology that most men either don't know or dont get. Now, most guys don’t worry too much about their reputation but for women, reputation is very important. Most women won’t do something if it might make them look easy in front of their friends. Their modesty as a lady must also be in tact.

The good news is, when they’re alone, most women are up for much the same kind of stuff that men are up for. Sometimes though, you need to wait until the friends aren’t around to see both sides of a woman. Relationships that we see television, it always works like this, shows women are dying for relationships and guys are afraid to commit. Well guess what? It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick.

It goes without saying, guys often feel this need to talk things out and explain things logically that often is awkward and lame to women. For example, guys feel compelled to say things like "I like you", when the smooth thing to do would be to just kiss her. If you did, chances are she already knows it. If she’s still hanging out with you, she probably likes you too. Dummy!

Another good example of this is the "relationship talk". You know the talk, sometimes it happens before sex, sometimes it happens after, but you’re sitting in bed with a girl and you feel compelled to put your cards on the table. You tell her you really like her but you want her to know that you're not really interested in an exclusive relationship at present. Even worse, “I want to sleep with other women”. This is not the way. Seeing and being with other people is alright but give a little respect to the one that's also with you. She may also be doing the same with other guys but she'll keep that to herself. In part to do with her modesty as well.

Most women don’t really care that much about what you do when they’re not around, unless you’ve explicitly boxed yourself into the boyfriend role. Don't hint that you're being monogamous with any women you're seeing and they'll never ask if you're sleeping with other women. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy. It’s not dishonesty . Always answer any question truthfully, and never deliberately mislead a woman. It’s simply the fact that emotionally, women don’t really care what you do when they’re not around, as long as you’re good to them when you’re together. If you're the boyfriend it's a different game. Being single and unattached is what's going on in her mind as well but you just haven't got it yet.

Bar advice. A huge thing to remember about women, and here's a little relationship advice, they hate being played in games and especially liars. You'll be forever black listed and even all her friends will know. Don't do it.

Women and dating

2008-02-20T00:02:00.006+08:00

There's a misconception that many men have about dating women, the idea that you have to focus all your efforts on "just one". This is an interesting problem since many of the clichés in our modern life tend to advise us against this kind of thinking in general but, when it comes to women, so many men simply ignore it.

Here are some of these types of clichés. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Translation when applied to women and dating, "Don't put all your effort into just one woman." Another will be, "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched." Translation when applied to women and dating, "Don't assume your effort with one particular chick will pay off(so put some effort into other chicks just in case)." Lets look at something from the financial world. "Diversify your portfolio". Any of you who have ever invested in stocks are probably familiar with this one. Instead of buying just one or two stocks, you should have multiple stocks. That way if just one stock goes bad or even a few different stocks that you have in just one industry then you aren't wiped out.

Translation when applied to women and dating: "Date more than one woman at a time." I know all the women are furious at me but plaese keep reading. If we sat here long enough we could come up with a number of other analogies, but you get the point. So why is it that a lot of guys try to date just one girl when somuch common sense would tell them to do otherwise? Don't get me wrong, once you are in a relationship with a woman and she is your girlfriend already, then that can be just fine if that is what you like. I am talking about when a guy focuses all his energy on just one girl who isn't his girlfriend yet in the hope that she will someday become his.

A few main reasons for this type of thing is he doesn't want to "get caught" dating other women. He really likes this girl so much that he doesn't want to date other women. He doesn't have confidence in his ability to get another woman. Lets examine each case. In the first case, the guy is giving in to social pressure to be agood guy. His real desire may be to date different women at the same time, but he knows that if any of the women he dates finds out they might get mad or offended. He is letting the possibility of other people's negative reactions that haven't even happened yet rule his behavior. The fact is that some women often date a lot of different men all at once. They do their best to hide it but it can be a double standard where they will date other guys but expect the men they date to only date them. Given that you don't want to get played, and the fact that you should follow your own desires, the solution is to date as many women as you want initially.

In the second case, the guy just isn't interested in anybody else so he concentrates all his efforts on just one woman that he does like. It's as if he has blinders on to the fact that there are other women more beautiful and personable than her. This is alright if she clearly likes him in return, but if he only hopes she will like him someday then he is acting crazy. This is because usually if a woman doesn't like you within your first meeting, she is unlikely to change her mind unless a miracle happens. The real truth is that no matter how amazing a woman may seem, there is always one better somewhere, and even if there were not, its not worth wasting your time for too long if she will never return your affection.

The third case is maybe the worst, its when a guy latches onto the first woman that gives him even the slightest sign of attraction because he is not confident in his ability to meet other women. All of these problems can be solved with the right mindset and knowledge. So the 'takeaway' for today is, if you find yourself only dating one woman who you aren't even physical with yet and getting nowhere, you should not feel guilty about dating other women. You will gain lots of experience, and will have more success for in the future.

Bar advice. The true fact that women date more than one guy at the same time but is never questioned, should tell you that you haven't given yourself all there is to pick the right one either.

Kissing woes for guys

2008-02-19T03:00:00.006+08:00

If you're so new to experiencing success with women that you find yourself hesitating to kiss them, even when you're alone with them, this is for you. Even for those guys out there who are otherwise doing find but can't seem to transition easily to kissing, this is still helpful.

Alright, you're alone with her, or at least a private area with her, she's sticking around in a way that indicates she's interested and you want to kiss her but you mentally freeze up. If you've been in this situations too many times, and didn't go for it, chances are you eventually lost the girl's interest and the only result you got was a lingering feeling for days, "I should have kissed her." You know if the moment is gone, so is your chance. Like Nike says, "Just do it." That would work. Maybe. It works theoretically because you can read that when there are no girls around and think in your mind, "Hell, yeah, next time I'm going to "just do it!" Then when next time comes around, you're hesitating again and still unsure of yourself. Instead I will give you a fool proof method to not only successfully kiss her, but to do so in a way you will find fun and allow you to skip past your hesitation.

She could be talking, drinking, fiddling with her hair, listening to you talk, or just plain sitting there like a lump on a log. It doesn't matter. Getting over the kissing woes for guys could be simple. May not work on all girls but is good to know. Just move towrds her slowly and look at her for a sec, then her bare neck, then back at her eyes(her eyes will be following yours by now) and then go in and start licking and kissing her where shoulder meets her neck. She will make freaky noises and giggle and then you come up for air after a few seconds and smile. Then ask her one of two possible questions. "How did it feel?" or "Do you want to know what it feels like?" Either way, kiss her on the lips, without waiting for an answer. It doesn't matter how she responds to the question, her openness to your kissing her is now increased by a factor of ten because you just did something outrageous, flirty, fun, and sexy.

If she didn't like it and pushes you away, it's probably not you. It could be though. Possibly she's not all that ready to move further or isn't experienced as yet. At least you got a kiss in. Once a girl I kissed looked at me stone cold after I did that and asked, "Why did you do that?" and I said "Because I wanted to know if you're as hot as you look." She laughed and we kissed more. Other times just went like clockwork. Shrieks, laughing, then kissing. Yes, if you look at this logically, it's retarded, but it accomplishes something that "just do it" lacks. It JUST DOES IT. So get out there and just lick it.

Bar advice. Not every girl wants to be kissed so soon. You got to make a judgement call on the right timing. First dates, it's a No No but it does work for some when it's tried.

Model, VJ, TV and Movie star, Anne Curtis

2008-02-19T01:38:00.008+08:00

Some time ago I wrote about meeting people online. I said that you never knew who you might just get to know. The last person I talked about was this model cum porn star that I got to know and although very nice, is nothing compared to my latest new friend that I got to know a few weeks ago.

I didn't know who she was at first. I sought of dug a little about her online later on to discover that she's the mega star of iconic perportions in Philippines and many other parts of the world. A model, VJ, TV, movie star and my friend Anne Curtis.

I'm certainly glad that she allowed me to get to know her better. Funny thing was it was all over a comment I made about pictures of her and her cleavage. She even joked back to me about it. She's a really funny girl but best of all she's a star in my books. Here's a You Tube video of her celebrating her birthday two days ago.

Bar advice. It's funny how life works sometimes. I'm not kidding myself to think that I'll end up with her but I also have to think, "why not"? Never stop youself from what seems impossible.

Feelings of insecurity

2008-02-17T02:26:00.010+08:00

A lot of people feel insecure when meeting someone new and even during the beginning stages of dating. If, however, you are in a steady relationship with a caring partner, and you have nagging insecurities about yourself and your partner, something deeper may be going on.

Insecurity often stems not from reality but from fear. Fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, and even fear of losing your identity may all come into play. It is likely that you may have also carried these insecurities over from a past relationship, and now are allowing them to wreak havoc on your current one. Of course, if you feel insecure it is next to impossible to have a healthy relationship as it can manifest in many ways.

Making you feel that you don’t deserve your partner. Accusing your partner of infidelity. Becoming codependent. Envying other people and/or their relationship. Possessiveness. Meanwhile, the more insecure you feel, the more you are likely to distrust your partner, attempt to control him or her, or avoid discussing future plans. All of which can ultimately lead to what you fear. A relationship break up situation. You may have already been through one before and another is not going to help your life in any way.

What can you do to break this cycle and feel confident in yourself and your relationship?

First, realize that only you, and not your partner, can give yourself inner strength. Security never comes from outside of yourself especially from another person. The best way to find security in a relationship is to bring your own inner security with you. Now, if you’re having trouble finding your inner security, all you have to do is release your feelings of insecurity, including the fear, the anxiety, the mistrust and the negative self-talk. If this sounds difficult, then you have not learned anything. With this advice, you will learn how to drop your insecurities as easily as you can drop a pencil.

Dealing with your feelings, the isuues and the other half of the relationship will not be easy. You got to put all your cards on the table and hopefully they do as well so that there is a common goal. This common goal will reduce all insecurities in the relationship because you now know that the other also had these insecure feeling and is trying to change themselves, their minds and the situation that's damaging the relationship.

If you have feeling of insecurity in a relationship, treat it as the feeling that it is and let it go. Take some time to rekindle the romance that may have dwindled. Keep in mind, however, that while many insecurities are, in fact, internal issues that need to be released, some may be legit. How can you tell the difference? If the feeling of insecurity persists even after some good releasing then it’s time to examine whether or not this is the right relationship for you.

Bar advice. Releasing can be done by one's self. It's not easy but if you need further help, you should seek professional help from a doctor.

The salesman's belief

2008-02-15T19:53:00.007+08:00

Have you ever bought something nice? I bet the salesman was quite sure of himself that the item he wanted to sell you was the right one at the right price. Even more, he wanted you to know you were getting a great deal. Was it true? Maybe. Maybe not.

What you do know to be true is how much he wanted you to believe that he believed you were getting a great item at a great price. I don't know if you ended up buying it or not but would you have been as interested if the salesman himself was not? There are plenty of salesmen who can certainly lie and pretend, and may very well make good sales. However, the best salesmen truly believe what they're telling you. The salesman's belief in it is what makes it all the sweeter, as far as he's concerned, he can't get the sale unless you believe that he believes what he's saying. What better way to help that along than for him to actually believe his own words? Anyone can look at the specifications, observe the conditions, and make a logical judgment on whether the price on the sticker matches the value of the product. So what's the use of salesmen?

The reason is, most people can't make such big decisions to do big things unless someone talks them into it. The same is true in dating. In a sense, you are the product and you are the salesman for yourself. I am not saying to hang a price tag around your neck and start soliciting your body on a street corner, but effectively you are selling yourself, your personality, your positive traits, your values. You are selling this to the opposite sex so they will "buy" what you got. So think about this for a minute. If you didn't believe in your own product, how do you expect to get any sales?

You truly need to value yourself and see yourself as a great deal. You need to convince yourself until you can't believe anything other than 'you are a great deal'. When you can do that, you will be a lot closer to what you want than ever before. What is there to be afraid off? What is holding you back? If you don't see yourself as a "prize catch" or "best deal ever", how will others see it either? I am convinced you can do this.

Bar advice. The saleman's belief must be self thought. Now reflect on what you've been lacking and change the sales pitch of your life.

What is love?

2008-02-15T00:55:00.004+08:00

Since it's the Valentines period I thought I'd also throw in some humour for all those who are alone and still single. It doesn't feel all that good being in that position but maybe this You Tube video, featuring Jim Carey, can put a smile on your face.

Bar advice. Look on the lighter side of things from time to time. It's not all that sad, really.

Happy Valentines day to you

2008-02-14T23:15:00.004+08:00

You know, it's one day in the year that really gets people to think about love. It even beats out Christmas, Easter, birthdays and so on. Why is that? I guess it fills people with thoughts of happiness when they're with someone in their lives. For those that are single, it repesents hope and wishful thinking.

People get to send Valentines cards, flowers, candy and chocolate to almost everyone. It could be your mother,sister, a friend or colleague. A lot of single people tend to go to the bars and clubs to seek out other lonely souls out there like themselves. It's really the best day to spot other singles and to hook up with one another. Perhaps it's a day when people just feel like being with someone and not alone.

Lots of places will have reservations for dinner fully booked. Wine and champange will flow. Hugs, kisses, joy and laughter will be felt by lot of you. Hotel won't have any vacancies. Romance is in the air. Those alone should not feel too bad. Find a little happiness in your heart to know that there are others out there in the world that don't even know this day is Valentines. The suffering people in places that are ruled by dictators, famine hit, terroirst controlled, war torn or been hit by a natural disaster. Have a sparing thought for them and see that your need at this moment may not seem so bad after all.

Bar advice. Hope you all have a beautiful time this Valentines day. Party, enjoy and maybe even some of you will get a marriage proposal.

Breaking the silence

2008-02-12T01:56:00.000+08:00

When you're on a date with a lady and the entire date is plagued with silence and "empty spaces" then I'm sure you know deep inside that chances of the girl being interested is close to zero. It sucks especially if that is the first date because if the first date is just chat, stop, chat, stop, then often times a woman will not want such boredom to repeat another time(otherwise known as "No second date").

How do we prevent such an outcome? One of the many "hidden weapons" you can use to stomp silence on dates is to bring up a scenario and talk about it. What is this? I'll get to it right now. The key here is to bring up an incident in life(a scenario), relate it to the woman and get her thoughts on it. One of the best scenarios comes from, "Other People's Relationships". It may be a dramatic relationship issue involving a third party. Your friends, cousins, colleagues, or some stranger you hardly knew. Here's how to apply it.

While talking to the woman, when you "detect" an empty space coming, or a silent pause had just begun, just lead smoothly into a scenario, and break out of the silence by relating an "Other People's Relationships" Scenario to her. Here's two scenarios to give you some ideas.

1)"This female classmate I knew from old school days wanted to audition for a talent quest and her boyfriend threatened to break up with her because he never liked showbiz. So let's say it happened to you. What will you do if you are her?"

2)"It's this old army friend I knew. He liked Beyonce a lot and he planned to go to the concert. At first, he wanted his girlfriend to go with him but her schedule didn't allow it. So in the end, he asked a lady friend to go and guess what? His girlfriend knew about it, kicked up a fuss and demanded he go to the concert by himself not with that lady. So now he's already bought the tickets and is stuck with an angry girlfriend. What do you think he should do?"

Once again, rid silent moments by placing a scenario into the interaction, then get her view on it. Conversations will re-generate from there. In all, the above is just one tactic to keep the conversation going. There's a lot more "conversation maintenance" secrets to ensure every interactions you have with women will flow instead of being a struggle. One other scenario secret you can use, and this one is easier since she can relate to it easier, is to talk about the latest on screen romances. It can be from the movies or television. Example would be asking her what she thought of the romance situations and relationships going on with some of the characters in Grey's Anathomy, Desperate Housewives or Ugly Betty for that matter. The trick here is to discuss what those characters and situations in normal peoples lives have in common or how they apply to what real life is or isn't in some cases.

This will get her excited because she gets to talk about some of her favourite people and what she likes that's going on in those shows. Normally it's a throw back to what she's seeking in a relationship or to the sort of guy she's into. This has not only broken the silence problem but has also given you the ammunition to dig a little deeper into her likes and dislike of men, relationships and whatever else that can benefit you. Two birds with one stone basically. Now you got more than cancelling the silence issue. She'll be opening her mouth almost non stop after you raise this scenario. Just one little tiny important thing to remember. Please be sure that you're either up to date or fairly know well, what's going on in these shows or the people. You'll need to be able to keep the conversation going about the characters in the shows, especially with questions being asked by her, and if you can't then guess what? Silence.

Bar advice. Breaking the silence is sometimes hard when trying to talk with someone you just met. Keep in mind a list of topics that you think will keep conversation. This will help.

How to make a woman happy?

2008-02-10T06:15:00.000+08:00

There many things that we can do to make a woman happy. It's complicated yet ever so easy. Here's a little couple of notes to remember. Take your time and read through it slowly and carfully. Help your relationship a little with some understanding.

Bar Advice. For the guys it's not that easy but, yes, it's pretty much that simple. For the chicks, see why guys just don't get it.

Kissing a woman

2008-02-10T02:22:00.000+08:00

IT is an experience that most people would remember. Their first French kiss. Some people would say it was a great experience while some would prefer not to mention it. A lot of us, it happened too fast, we forgot what happened even because we were too excited in the moment. Of course some of us were too young or didn't realize we were even doing it right. One thing we all know is that French kissing is a very delicate and sensual experience.

Research shows women's lips are one of their erogenous zone, so it's important for men to leave a lasting impression with women. If you French kiss her like no one else, you'll most likely to kiss something else of her next. know what I mean? The skill of kissing does not simply consist of knowing how to move your tongue inside a woman's mouth without hitting her tonsils. It involves the entire mouth. The lips, tongue, cheeks and the rest of the body.

Give the lady a hand. Position your hands on her body while kissing her. Hold her face, chhek area, firmly but gently as you slip your tongue inside her mouth and suck on her lips. This will definitely make her toes curl. Also, try to gently pull her hair back from the back or slightly squeezing the part of her body that is located right under her ribs. This could make for some very enticing kissing sessions.

Pay attention to the way she kisses. People often give out what they would like to receive, so pay attention to the way she kisses you. That could be an indication of the way she wants you to kiss her. Does she bite on your lips? Reciprocate. She will love you for it. Tell her what you like. Does your loved one kiss you like she's trying to suck the life out of your body? Does she kiss too fast, too slow, or without using her tongue? Some women like it slow and gentle while others like it a bit more rough and demanding. Try not to tell her what you don't like, but rather what you do like. That way you won't hurt her feelings.

Control her mouth. The next time you kiss her, hold her face with your hands tenderly and kiss her the way you would like to be kissed. If this doesn’t turn her on, then your sensual tongue will surely do the trick. Make it long lasting. Women love long, slow, juicy, and enticing kisses. Your partner will definitely feel your passion through one of those prolonged tender kissing moments. Just like in the movies, kiss her hard and deep.

One last method, that I like myself. If you can come from behind her, start kissing her from the shoulders upward. Remember that you are standing at the back of her at all times. This method can only be applied if she wearing something that's showing her shoulders. Now slowly kiss upward to the neck area. Get her to feel the intensity of what's to come. If you're already in a deeper relationship, you can hold her in an embrace that lets her feel your body toucing hers. Now, slowly start to kiss her and move to the front of her at the same time. Don't break the kissing but let it flow naturally. She'll start to react and if she's keen she'll start to take over or just react more so. Both may start to actually feel horny at this point but than again that's the whole point, isn't it?

Bar advice. Kissing a woman is suppose to be fun. Don't complicate it with a lot of applied technique. Relax, and the magic will happen.

Happy Chinese New Year 2008

2008-02-08T03:53:00.000+08:00

2008 is the year of the Rat. According to the Chinese calender it is the return of the zodiac cycle. This is a "1 year" phase. It goes around every 12 years. This is also the year of the earth rat which comes about once every 60 years. It is said, not to be a good year for most people and it includes world economic difficulties, health issues, stock market turmoil and lots more. Lets see how it fares for you.

Rat
A like minded year when restless Rats refuse to settle into a routine. Your Yang essence takes the lead in romance during 2008. Cozy up to a home loving Ox, an outspoken Dragon or a fun-loving Monkey. This Rat year exacerbates your high strung disposition, and while this shouldn't affect your job productivity, it will definitely fray your nerves. Promotions are possible and money becomes more plentiful. Make certain that all business is kept on the up and up. Always plan for the future, as this will allow you to better enjoy the moment.

Ox
Due to the soulmate connection, Rat years are particularly good ones for Oxen. Your Yin essence balances well with the Yang Rat year energies. A family and security conscious year for you. Good financial luck, but be cautious not to spend too much. Many social events and opportunities for romance this year! Settle down with a clever Rat, a seductive Snake or brassy Rooster. Plant a garden, knit a new sweater or carve a custom set of furniture.

Tiger
Rat years are busy ones for Tiger natives and can be particularly exhausting, draining and depleting. 2008 is the “Steed” or action catalyst for you and extra caution is called for in any type of travel, change, or reevaluation this year. Expect delays, slow down and think all actions through carefully. Attending happy or joyful events such as weddings, births, reunions and celebrations. Although there may be difficulties, these will all be happily resolved by October. Be careful of romantic temptations which could affect your emotional and physical health.

Rabbit
The Rat and the Rabbit are in a “Peach blossom” or “Plum” relationship, responsible for romantic, even torrid love affairs. Rat years are filled with both passion and even danger for the Rabbit. Be cautious of commingling funds with or borrowing money from third parties. The Rat year may demand a commitment, which the detached and cautious Rabbit will resist. However, with 2008's energies, even reticent Rabbits could feel the urge to settle down. Don't be surprised if you become more of a committed finance rather than an artful dodger in 2008.

Dragon
A taste for novelty reins supreme for Dragons in 2008, and unpredictability rules the year. Dragon's feel like a new adventure is always just around the corner in Rat years and it promises to be one of activity and excitement. Financially, assets increase, but interpersonal tiffs may be troublesome. Candid, demanding and fond of being in the public eye, Dragons shine during Rat ruled periods. Best chance for serious romance in September's Rooster ruled month. Prepare the stage for an energetic evening with a feisty Rooster, a sarcastic Monkey or an eclectic Rat.

Snake
A four star year for Snakes when money and wealth flows in freely. When it comes to lovemaking the Snake is a master and virtuoso, and sex is something they are capable of surrendering themselves to, body and soul. Be cautious however, as this Rat year may increase your taste for forbidden fruit. Single Snakes may consider marriage or commitment during April or May. Now is the time to expand your social circle, networks and contacts which will lead to great financial benefits. Recognition by colleagues and an opportunity for carer advancement should make this a particularly enjoyable year.

Horse
Those born into Horse years are in opposition to the Rat and 2008 is a time for you to relax, vacation and take time for your physical, spiritual and mental health. A choice could be presented this year between your need for security and your need for independence. Never stop pursuing your dreams and ambitions, but keep everything status quo for now and wait for a more auspicious climate. Hold off on risky investments and be particularly cautious about anything that could cause problems with the law. Married Horses could be tempted by a love affair in July's Goat-ruled month.

Goat
The Rat year and the Goat can be a comedy of errors, but nothing that can't be mitigated with good humor. By the time the leisurely Goat wakes up to face the world, the energetic Rat has almost completed their day. Hyperactivity meets sloth in 2008 and the results can be inharmonious to say the least. Goats feel harried, hurried and hotheaded during Rat years, but careful planning will give you the edge. Journaling, writing poetry or putting pen to paper in any way will sooth your frazzled nerves and could produce some memorable work.

Monkeys
Monkeys will enjoy being in the compatibility trine (triangle) of harmony with this Rat year. April or May could see wedding bells ringing for you. Sexuality is explosive between Rat's and Monkey's and some exhausting nights of love await you in 2008. Intertwine your lovemaking with intellectual conversation from a sage Snake or discuss the cosmos with an otherworldly Dragon. You are in a very comfortable and prosperous position in 2008, but be discreet about your private life and selective in your social circles.

Rooster
The Rat and the Rooster are in a “Peach blossom” relationship, responsible for torrid love affairs, and 2008 can produce an emotional roller coaster ride for Rooster natives. This is a love/hate year of polarized emotions when your beloved will seem either enchanting or unbearable. This is a complicated pairing of energies and this Peach blossoms connection can easily become “forbidden fruit” so the utmost caution regarding romantic affairs is advised. Female Hens are very fertile year and pregnancy as well as marriage are strong possibilities. Build a cozy nest with a home loving Ox, sensual Snake or competent Dragon.

Dog
The relationship between the Rat and Dog resembles that of a parent/child power struggle with possible confrontations or misunderstandings. Don't borrow or use funds that are not yours for any reason this year and keep all business deals completely above board. Take time off to relax and recharge your batteries and love will be in the air. A romantic getaway with a savvy Rabbit, passionate Tiger or talkative Horse will have you howling at the moon! Be realistic in your planning and avoid wishful thinking for best results.

Pig
A harmonious and successful year awaits trusting Pig natives in 2008. There is a risk of you becoming opinionated and judgmental this year so consider that every situation has two sides to it. Your modesty will give you the edge in working with people this year. You are hardworking, but also fond of pleasure. Many opportunities for love affairs during 2008, so be cautious of scandals. Both the Rat and the Pig share the hidden element of Water in their branches bringing emotion, depth and adaptability to circumstances.

Bar advice. This is just one of many who have predictions about the year and your zodiac Chinese animal sign. In the end our fates are in our own hands.

The zero game

2008-02-08T00:49:00.000+08:00

Well, in the rough, tough game of game of women, one thing can be true. The zero game but one big zero that is going to make it really hard for you to score is if you are in any way ashamed of sex or your sexuality. That is because women have been taught on a lot of levels to be ashamed of sex also. They are not rewarded for acting sexually in public for example. Think of what happens when they even dress too revealing. They get labeled as sluts and get scorned by older women, peers and even a lot of men.

In some extreme cases, women are taught by their parents that their genitals are some how "dirty", etc. In other words a taboo subject or something not to be seen or talked about. There are many other examples you can probably think of. It is rare that you meet a truly liberated woman who is totally free of any kind of residual shame about sex, or at least negative consequences of acting like she is not ashamed of it. What this means is that often you as a man will have to be the balancing force in the equation, the one that is very comfortable with the idea of how awesome and natural sex is. You have to be the one who will "take the blame" for taking about it, starting it,etc. The more repressed she might be, the more positive you have to balance the equation. The problem though is that somehow modern culture is telling a lot of guys to turn off their sexuality in order to act like a "nice guy".

Many guys who was under this mistaken assumption that if they acted like they didn't want sex outside of marriage or a really committed relationship then they would make themself look nice enough for her to want to date. Even though sex is what you want in the end, you're ashamed to admit it to her for fear she would think that was all you wanted or that you're a pervert. The truth is, if you act ashamed of sex in any way, then it will be extremely hard for things to get sexual with you and the average woman. For the rare females who really do want sex, they will get bored and find a guy who does want it. The ones who are ashamed will just go along with your frame or have it much later than you both might really want.

What instead needs to happen is that you have to in effect "take responsibility" for any of the shame of sex. It means that your actions and the things you say have to communicate to her things like this. "It is not your fault if you and I end up making love". "You are not a slut for having slept with me". "Other people don't have to know about this, nobody else will think any less of you". "I know that you don't do this with other guys and what we are doing is new for you". "I really enjoy being with you sexually, I hope you do too".

Talking to her, you would not say these things exactly, but the deeper message would be the same. You basically have to relieve her of any guilt she might feel and let her know there will be nothing bad that comes from it. Lets look at a verbal example, while you are making out with her, she might tell you "we shouldn't be doing this". In that case, you can assure her that you know she's "a good girl" and the blame is shifted off her shoulders. What about an example that shows you like sex through your actions? Here's an example. Let's say you are flipping through the pages of a magazine and sexy images appear of men and women, possibly nude, and she's around and saw it too. If you keep going and act like it was never there, you are acting ashamed of sex. You get a ZERO!

The point here really is to focus on the fact that sex is natural. The human body can be seen in this manner as well. Women are not going to jump into bed with you just becuase it is but if they see that you see it as such and they begin to feel comfortable that way then things will change. They will find it not so taboo a subject, there's nothing "dirty" about it or their bodies, they're not going to listen to mummy's old folks advice and sex is nothing to be ashmed of. No more zeros after that lesson!

Bar advice. If you add up all the points here and you come up with zero. The games over for you. Than again you could just restart from zero, upwards.

Women love sex just as much as men do

2008-02-07T18:06:00.000+08:00

Let me share some insights into the psychology and biology of women with you today. Insights that will really help you guys. The title almost says it all. Women love sex just as much as men do. I might have to convince you of this and explain how you guys can use it to your advantage.

You might find it hard to believe that women love sex as much as men do. If that were true, you might be asking why isn't it easier to get women to go to bed with you, right? If it were not for some elusive facts of biology, it really would be easy, but it's not. When women go up to men and say something along the lines of "Hi, I like you, would you like to sleep with me?" something like 99% of the men will say yes. However, when the roles were reversed, women will probably say no when men ask the same question. The reason is that women are essentially genetically programmed to be really picky about who they have sex with. It is all a supply and demand equation, because women only have a limited supply of chances to reproduce, most women can't have more than say ten children in their lives, and the act of childbirth could kill them too, so you can add 'evolved fear' into the low supply problem.

If that wasn't enough, there are a lot of social consequences that women have to deal with when they have sex with men. They can get labeled as sluts, whores, cheap or easy for having sex with more than one guy. By contrast, as men we can pretty much have hundreds of children if given the chance. Our "supply" of reproduction capability is just about limitless compared to that of women. Having sex with lots of women usually gets guys labeled as studs, top dog and so on, at least with male friends. So you put all this together and you can understand why women are picky and almost seem like they don't like or want sex as much as men do. In reality they do.

The main difference is that men want more partners(quantity), women want better 'quality' partners. OK, so you understand this now, lets really reinforce this idea that women like sex just as much as men do. This is also due to evolution. Both sexes are rewarded with lots of pleasure for sex, its one way that our genes have programmed us to help pass themselves along to the next generation. In fact, I would say that women can get more pleasure out of sex than men. I mean, come on, which sex can have more fun with a showerhead or vibrator? Also, which sex can have multiple, prolonged orgasms, and sometimes they just need another female to get this? These are all things I have witnessed personally in my life and as such I have no doubt that, done properly, sex causes more overall pleasure for women. Scientifically it also prolongs lifespans of people. Women especially.

Women want(keyword) sex just as much as men. So now that you have this fact in mind, how do you use it? The answer is simple, you constantly have the attitude in mind that women want sex just as much or more than men do and in every interaction that you have with them, you keep this in mind. (Please don't go thinking about it in a perverted manner.) Also, keep in mind that a women has to preserve her modesty. Her mother thought her to be a lady and not go with any boy because they just want one thing. We know what that is but actually she wants it too but she'll only give it to you if you are worthy of her. Sp you see, it is simple, but it has really powerful effects. It makes the balance of power more equal in all your interactions with women. Let's look at how this works.

I can remember when I didn't understand how much women love and want sex, and so I used to always think that I was trying to get them to do something they didn't want to do as much as I did. What happens when somebody wants something more than the other person? They are willing to go to much effort to get it. In the case of women, it gets worse if you act like this and put in too much effort, because they then assume on some level that you don't get much of it either(otherwise why would you be trying so hard?), and by extension that there must be some reason for that, like something is wrong with you on some level. Which makes them withhold sex from you more, which makes you try harder, which makes them withhold even more, and what you end up with is a permanent case of blue balls. When you take the frame one step further and understand and believe that women want and love sex more than men do, then you can amazingly flip the roles in the above situation.

Your actions indicate to her that you know she wants you more. You interpret her actions as her wanting you too much, and you pull away a bit. She sees this and thinks on a deeper level that you must have a lot of options with women, so she chases you a bit more, you retreat, she pursues harder, and you eventually succumb since that was your plan all along. Of course, there is a lot more to learn about exactly how to reverse this role with women, and it is a big part of what you need to understand about this method. The simple take away for today is that you need to understand and believe that women want sex as much or more than men do.

Be sure to never force the issue. Women are very delicate creatures and a lot of them need refined tenderness and thoughtfullness. I know of some women that can be a wild tigeress in bed but she puts on the facade of a pussycat to see wheather you are worthy of herself and why you are deserving to be with her. She wants it but she likes to tease and when she, and only she, is willing she'll let you have it.

Bar advice. I'm sure the women reading this will agree with me a huge amount but it's just help for some of the guys that "don't get it".

The safety man

2008-02-05T03:33:00.000+08:00

You see it all the time at bars & clubs. A group of girls, sometimes just three or as many as five or six, with one sole guy in their group. You may think this guy is "with" one of the girls but many times he's not, unless his name is Hugh Hefner.

He is tagging along, but why? What are his reasons? Usually it's one of only two reasons. He's infatuated with one of the girls in the group, hoping to hook up with her or he's hoping to improve his odds with any of the girls in the group. The vast majority of the time, however, in fact the most probable outcome is, he will not achieve anything. He will not get any further along with any of the girls than he'd gotten before. If it were possible for him, he'd have known how to do it already and not need to waste time grasping at such flimsy opportunities rather than taking initiative at other times. So why do the group of girls take him along on their "girl's nightout" when none of them have any preconceived intentions to hook upwith him?

One of them(rarely) may very well actually like him in "that way" (all the girls in the group will already know about it) and think this will be an opportunity for him to bust a move (he won't or he will do it pathetically).Commonly, they need a "safety man". What is a "safety man"? A safety man is a guy girls will have in their group for the sole purpose of allowing them to focus on their "girl's night out without the distraction of guys they don't like "hitting on them". To most men, the safety man is ambiguously with all the girls and may be the boyfriend of one of them or may be the boyfriend of the one they might be interested in. Most guys fear the repercussions of approaching a girl who may bewith her boyfriend, so the safety man acts as a sort of "always a shield" for the girls in the group.

When one of them happens to see a guy she may be interested in, the girls all have their social dynamics well in sync to know how to "lower the safety man shield" to make their group(or a certain girl in the group) less intimidating to approach. That's pretty much it. Girls are so sneaky, arent they? But why would I want to talk about this subject? I want people to avoid falling into the trap of being the safety man and to consider taking advantage of the opportunities in ways you may not have considered before.

If you're dating one of the girls(and getting sex from her), then great, enjoy yourself and make sure you're out with them because you have fun and not because you're insecure about whether your girlfriend will cheat on you. If not, why be the safety man for them at all? Unless you want to boost your image to other women at the clubs and get to know them. That's what you ought to be doing. If you're sleeping with the whole entourage of girls than there's nothing to be said. If not, and you have been made the safety man, you'll find other women around easier to approach and talk to. Women will see you as non treating, liked by other women and they'll wonder what is it that other women in the group see in you to have you around. Curiosity will get the better of them so turm up the charm and smile. Phone numbers are going to be slipped to you.

Bar advice. Letting the girls have you as a safety man is one of the best ways of getting to know other women unless you're already attached to one of them.

Using technology when meeting people.

2008-02-05T02:36:00.000+08:00

Recently I got to know this lovely model cum porn star. She does a lot of photo shoots with clothes on but she does nude stuff as well. At first I didn't know that she did all this but when I got to see some of her "normal" sexy pictures I was really impressed with her. She's actually Japanese but living somewhere else(not saying) and is still studying.
Talking to this girl is not easy. She's highly in demand and I assume a lot of guys are interested to talk with her but she's told me that she doesn't like to chat with people all that much via the Internet. I try not to bother her too much because I don't want to loose her as a friend. Never met a porn star before so, as a guy, you can't blame me for fantasizing. She actually agreed to meet me if I did come around to where she was staying but I would have to give her ample notice. At least two months. Can you believe that?

I managed to get this short video. Maybe even some of you girls will get turned on. I know the guys will. All the other videos are not really hardcore videos but more soft porn than anything else. While using technology when meeting people can be easier, it also gives people methods of expression that tells people who they are and not be afraid about it. We can be repulsed or condone this but we have to accept that people's choices are their own.

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Uploaded by Bar-Advice

Bar advice. You never know who you'll meet online. Sometimes people that seem unreachable wants a friend.

Talking to strangers

2008-02-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

So many of us find it difficult, some nearly even impossible, to start talking to strangers. Maybe because it was so ingrained in us as kids that it was dangerous to do so, or maybe precisely the opposite. Maybe as adults we're all too aware of the sting of rejection.

Whatever the case, in the grown-up world, one without unnecessary ego attachments, there's nothing wrong with chatting up that cute girl or hot guy who's caught your eye. In fact, you may be missing out on an opportunity if you don't at least smile and say hello. You never know if they may be looking for a good person in their lives as well.On that note, believe it or not, the best thing to do might just be that simple. Smile. Yes, smile but sincerely. You know, not that plastered on,"I'm terrified doing this", kind of smile but rather a genuine warm greeting and say "hello". Ask how they are. Ask if they come there often (ironically of course because you both know you see each other in this space almost everyday). Just come out with small talk that hopefully makes sense and doesn't show your nerves. Be natural and if you make or say something dumb, laugh it off because the other person is probably feeling the same at that moment as well. They'll understand. You won't look stupid.

If it's the first time you're noticing this person, don't let that stop you. A little common everyday friendliness will help. Mention uncharacteristic weather, a headline in the news (particularly if a paper's in sight) or even the traffic and the door is opened to communication. Remember, your "pick up line" need not be a line at all (in fact, it shouldn't be), nor does it have to be the most creative conversation in the world. The point is to let the person know you've noticed them and have a conversation. Girls, especialy, should know that men will jump into a conversation if they initiate it because guys are worse in the approach game. They get all tongue tighed and the blurr state or stage fright syndrome takes over and they fear looking like a complete moron so they say nothing.

If you're still searching, take note of common ground. Even though the person in question may be a stranger, there's no doubt you share something in common. If you're at a certain place than you both go there often but if at that moment, it must be for a purpose. So try to get up the nerve to say something before the moment slips. Just remember, don't be afraid at what's the worst that can happen. Even they not responding in a friendly fashion or they completely ignore you. If that's the case, you're not really interested anyway, are you? Move on.

If you aren't particularly shy and can take it past a smile and hello, make your introduction more personal by noticing and commenting on something specific about your potential paramour. Are they wearing a new coat? Did they get a haircut? Do you always notice their shoes,dog,hair, beverage of choice? Whatever the detail, ask about it. Compliment it. Show, casually of course without seeming stalker like, that you've paid attention to them in the past or that you're paying attention at that moment. A person who is similarly interested will take the hint most of the time. They'll start to be interested in someone that notices them.

Lastly, if this whole idea makes you nervous, ask yourself why? What have you got to lose? Better to try talking and get no response than wonder about that "missed chance", right? If it helps, remember that people who are skilled at talking with strangers rarely plumb the depths with them in casual conversation. They start simple. They smile. They comment on the world around them. Then they find out, courtesy of the universe and its energy, that great things can happen when you're not afraid to reach out for the smallest human connection.

Bar advice. Technology makes the world a smaller place but if you can't communicate with another person in front of you, your world is still huge.

How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity

2008-01-27T22:37:00.001+08:00

You see, the thing about rejection is that it’s only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better. What you feel and what you can do about it is two different things. So how to turn rejection into opportunity?

Ask for an Explanation. If you’re turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecting person why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you’ll be able to use this information to improve for next time. Resist Taking it Personally! It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often, if not always, not personal. So if you’re feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is ingrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go.

Let go of wanting to change what happened. If you’re wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, the colleague that dresses better, etc, you are only making matters worse. Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect.

Take back control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.

Now lets look at the situation in a personal capacity when involved with someone. If you're trying to build a relationship with a person and they reject your offer of either getting together, going on a date or becoming more than friends, let it be. Don't let it chew you up inside. The world is made up of all sorts of people. You may not be their type. They may not like the way you look, dress or even talk. You don't expect to go up to Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and they like you above all other persons, would you? If they rejected you, wouldn't you except it because they said so and move on? Sure you will. A celebrity, however, is no different than anyone else so why let it eat you up inside? If you can accept the rejection from a celeb(and I don't mean that they are any better) why not a normal person?

Shake it off and move on. People are sometimes hurt because the rejection comes a little later into knowing a person. They may have been going out for a while. They also could have been having sex. The rejection by one person may be due to indifference's about lifestyle issues or possibly their ideals of a spouse and partner. It's just one of those things where people find that it's not working out the way they like it to be. Maybe their "space" is being compromised. They may not be ready for a commitment or one is rushing the relationship and the other is feeling trapped. Whatever the rejection reason is one must respect the others decision. Take a bow and leave even with your head held high.

Bar advice. The rejection is sometimes lessons well learned. It makes a person better and brings tested feelings into light. Look into that light for better things to come.

Relationship advice by zodiac compatibility

2008-01-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

The compatibility of someone in a relationship is something that we all want. Lots of people do follow with zodiac sign charts to find a mate. Sometimes you even got a nagging mother that tells you the "stars" can guide you to find your soul mate. Here's my relationship advice by zodiac compatibility. Maybe there's something or even nothing to all this but lets just see what sort of person you may be dealing with and what to expect in the mystical relationship.

Aquarius
This sign loves humanity as a whole, and first must love a friend before they become a partner. Independence and freedom loving, they are fully and completely loyal, once committed or married. They expect their partners to share the responsibilities of home and family as well as have common goals for the relationship.

Pisces
Love is the fuel that energizes Pisces into a lasting commitment. For Pisces, love, affection and romance are a package deal. These dreamy romantics need assurance that they are loved, and do not handle rejection from their partners very well. Pisces makes a very sensitive and understanding partner who will be loyal as long as the romance remains.

Aries
The thrill of the chase and the challenge of love as well as the passion of romance are on this possessive sign's priority list. In relationships Aries are demanding. They don't don't want to be controlled and it's important for them to feel that they come first. Aries expect fidelity and loyalty from their mates, and are more than willing to give the same. As long as the relationship is exciting and supportive, the union is bound to be strong.

Taurus
Taurus love is sensual and physical, devoted and steady. A Taurus will settle for no less than absolute loyalty, and likes a relationship that is stable and has a sense of routine. You won't find a Taurus spending time on frivolous affairs, instead they invest in long-term, long-haul relationships. When things get tough, a Taurus tends to be loyal to their commitments.

Gemini
Romantics in search of the perfect love or soul mate, their charismatic and flirty nature allows them to enjoy their affairs, until they believe they have found a supportive and faithful partner who loves to listen. When they do find love, its because these ultra sensitive types, have given the situation much thought.

Cancer
Happiest when they feel needed, Cancer loves to love, and be loved. They have a strong sense of family and tradition, and offer equally strong feelings of acceptance in return, especially when their partner is totally devoted. They can be emotional and sensitive to others or the other way around but it's the price you pay for having a partner who will go to extremes to never let you down. One of the better signs.

Leo
Drama is present in Leo-love. They will fight to the death to protect a loved one, and offer their undying support and loyalty. As long as their egos are fed a healthy diet of romance, praise and devotion, they will make sacrifices to make sure that the one they are committed to can depend on them for happiness and comfort.

Virgo
These sensible and practical people, take the same approach to love and commitment. While a Virgo may wait for years to find love, once they do, their partner tends to be the love of their life. Virgo love is warm and steady, committed and trustworthy. As long as Virgos are treated with care, honesty, and respect, you can expect a strong and steady union for life.

Libra
Love makes the Libra world go round. They thrive on love and romance, and will go to great lengths to avoid hurting the ones they love. Faithful and loyal, when they feel appreciated - Libras expect a partnership to be harmonious. They can be emotionally dependent on their partners, but ask for no more than they are willing to give freely.

Scorpio
Committed and in love, Scorpio can be intensely passionate - and intensely confusing. While they are very exciting, they have a way of hiding their emotions which can cause a bit of confusion. They expect faithfulness and loyalty, and they in return will be deeply connected to their partner. And when they feel secure, they may even let you in on their ever-present secrets.

Sagittarius
Love is an adventure to Sagittarius, and they prefer not to be tied down. Sagittarius needs a partner who can intellectually stimulate them, make them feel secure and keep things exciting. Sagittarius will commit to the right person, but that person has to be secure in knowing that freedom is Sagittarius' first love, and that must be respected for any commitment to be a lasting one.

Capricorn
Capricorn love is an inspiration. While they love deeply and fully, they may not be the most open expressing these details. Any commitments to a Capricorn are expected to be long-term and generally involve the promise of family. They expect loyalty and support from their partner, and prefer to be more dominant than passive in the relationship.

Bar advice. They say opposites attract. The truth is that's really the case in the zodiac love compatibility madness. It's complicated but their way makes people balanced in life.

Strained relationships

2008-01-24T20:43:00.000+08:00

Laying the foundation in the beginning is the first step to a successful relationship. Foundations based on stability offer a rewarding, long-lasting relationship, while unstable foundations lead to break-ups. If you can sit down and talk through your problems, this is the best solution and it will save the couple's relationship. Talking is the mark of eliminating problems, while frustration comes from those who don't have the skills to communicate.

Incompatibility can lead to break-ups, thus weighing out your relationship carefully before beginning a relationship can prevent disaster. If you are already involved in a sour relationship, more than likely, you will need to evaluate the compatibilities. You do have the options of working through the incompatibilities or getting out.

Compatibility extends to family history. If you are suffering problems due to family quarrels, the ride gets strenuous. Families that tend to like the person their child is with, is less likely to give you problems. Strained relationships are painful when families butt into their business frequently. Many people who begin relationships and have been with their mate for sometime may find that neither party is compatible. The relationship can still work if the two of you communicate and comprise a plan that both can agree on. Read up about good relationships by buying books that offer a good strategy for the incompatible couples. This is because sometimes one side thinks the partner is not as compatible.

Many times people commit to relationships with the idea that they can change the other person later. This is not good. Either you like whom you meet, or you do not. No one can change another human being, the person must have the desire to change him or her self, and the first step to change is acceptance and then willingness to make the changes. Remember that this person, any person for that matter, is not going to have all the qualities that you desire. Does it mean they're not right for you? One should be sceptical of those who vow to change for you. Often the promises are not met or the person has hidden intentions that could be forced onto you later.

Working toward a strained free relationship is only possible if you're willing to tell yourself that it may not last. You're both discovering each others faults and finesse. The move toward having sex is not a good idea if the person or you, or even at the slightest hint, feels that it not the right time. There may the pressure that you place upon yourself to partake in the sexual act but that makes the physical body and the spiritual separated during intercourse. Does having sex mean that the relationship will be sealed, bonded and inseparably?

If you are a dreamer, you may look at your mate as a fantasy. This is not good either. You lose the benefits by not getting to know the person you have mated with or you wake up from your dream and find that you made a serious mistake. The main focus to keep in mind are communication, spending quality time, stay focused, and lay a good foundation for your relationship. Keep it honest and learn to trust one another with unselfish motives. Selfishness can lead to various problems, including adultery, murder, fornication, theft, and so forth. Thus, selfishness is one of the leading causes of break ups in relationships and marriage.

Sharing plays a large part in love and relationships. When two people share, they are giving something to the other that leaves a lasting feeling of joy and love. Do not count or take stock as to what you gave or did for your partner. It should be given or done without the need to receive anything in return. If both are on this same wave length, well guess what happens? Two people working together without selfishness often builds a relationship on solid ground and often endure through tribulations, sad moments and so forth. Relationships built on solid foundations rarely fall apart when trouble comes their way. Thus, enhance your strained relationship or get out!

Bar advice. Having your ideals is nice but sometimes the person least likely may just turn out to be the person that's really who you need in your life. Don't let your heart be blinded.

Advice about you and your money

2008-01-23T21:17:00.000+08:00

Here's a look at what you're like with money in your zodiac characteristics. This may just be a non-scientific way of how you are with money but you'll see that eight out of ten people are just like this. So here's the advice about you and your money.

Aquarius
They tend to take an intelligent approach to the money that comes their way, always setting something aside for the unforeseen future. They don't appreciate money for money's sake, but they do enjoy the happiness it can bring to others. They are generous but conscientious. They care not about being rich or poor and their priority is to enjoy getting by.

Pisces
To Pisces, money comes and money goes. They tend to live simply, yet elegantly. When they have it, they spend it. When they don't, they won't. The Pisces nature doesn't allow them to become consumed with excess or lack, they just adjust to living within their means, whatever that may be.

Aries
For Aries, money represents freedom. And freedom is more important than the things that money can buy. Most Aries enjoy the challenge of making money and treat it like a game. When the mood hits them, they can be avid savers, sometimes crossing the line into being downright cheap. And yet they are capable of shopping sprees that can leave them seriously in the red.

Taurus
They love money. Taurus enjoys the smell of a crisp bill, the rattle of change in a jar. They love to watch balances grow and reinvest dividends received. A Taurus would much rather pay with cash, and if credit must be used, they are likely to pay the balance in full before the bill comes in. While a Taurus may not go without, they tend to think long and hard before they treat themselves to a well earned reward.

Gemini
Gemini's truest appreciation of money is the fact that it can be spent. Gemini likes to collect things. Objects, trinkets, clothing, and credit cards. The sheer act of spending gives Gemini pleasure, often more pleasure than the things that they buy. While a Gemini may not be able to figure out where their money went, they are certain more will come to take its place.

Cancer
They tend to look at money as security. As long as there is money in the bank, tomorrow will be okay. It doesn't matter how much or how little they have, a Cancer will find a way to save. Clipping coupons and bartering for a better deal is the Cancer way of life. A penny earned is a penny that they can bury in a Mason jar in the yard, just in case they ever need it.

Leo
Money in the hands of a Leo is sure to swiftly leave. What Leo wants, Leo gets, and as long as it is spent before it is entered in the checkbook, well, it never really existed. Leo believes that if they need more money, they'll make more money. More often than not, they are right. Leo's like money, but are way more appreciative of the elegance money can buy.

Virgo
They are the accountants of the celestial world. They have every receipt, impeccable records, and budgeting procedures that could correct the financial imbalances of the world. Virgo's tend to invest wisely, always planning for tomorrow. They will save for a vacation even if they have the cash in their pocket. While Virgo is driven by the need for financial security, wealth can be a happy side effect of their original goal.

Libra
Libra is funny when it comes to money. They definitely are gifted when it comes to handling finances, because they love living the good life filled with expensive things they buy to make themselves happy. Their love of luxury makes them excellent with a budget and investments that will pay off in the long run.

Scorpio
To Scorpio, money is power, and achieving power is their personal challenge. Scorpio people can stretch a dime as far as a dollar, and will sacrifice things on the monetary plane in order to achieve their goals. You can never judge a Scorpio's net worth by their appearance, they have the gift of looking as if they have a million bucks, even if their bank account is overdrawn.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius could honestly care less about money. It is only metal, paper or plastic. What matters to them are the experiences money allows them to have. Generous to a fault, a Sagittarius is prone to giving away their last dollar. They are just as likely to pay the rent as they are to rent a private jet to entertain their friends with that month's rent money. It simply depends on their mood.

Capricorn
They are blessed with the ability to make and multiply their money all the way to the bank. While they can be cheap and downright greedy, they can also reach deep into their pockets to help a friend in need. The biggest thrill to a Capricorn, when it comes to their funds, is just knowing they have them and that they're safe and sound.

Bar advice. This analysis doesn't take into account about your Chinese animal zodiac so it can mean that you are not as extreme as what is written here. We are after all individuals.

Relationship advice on what we want.

2008-01-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

Why do we sabotage what we really want in our relationships? That's a great question and one we've been living with in our own lives and I'm sure that you've run across it from time to time.

There are many possible reasons why people unconsciously destroy something that's going well. One of the main ways is having the belief that you don't deserve the happiness, the praise, the passion, the good feelings and all that. There seems to be an imaginary ceiling that allows just so much happiness, success, passion or anything else that we say we want in our lives. Why should there be a cap on it? A relationship is giving but remember it's also receiving. Many people are afraid that their relationships won't last or they feel that he or she will leave them anyway so somehow, either consciously or unconsciously, they do something to push the other person away.

We see this a lot when there's fears. Why allow fears such as fear of abandonment either physically or emotionally, beliefs that keep us from having the great relationships and lives that are available to all of us? These fears are for the most part unconscious and we might not even be aware of them. Sometimes it may have been triggered because of failed relationships previously. It can also happen when we see our love ones or friends have bad relationship problems. While we are continually working on this within our own relationships, our partners support is important to ease doubts and fears.

The obvious thing would be to first identify your beliefs and fears that are holding you back from having the relationships and life that you want. What is it that you believe, even on a deep subconscious level? Once you've identified these beliefs and fears, then explore whether you are willing or not to allow them to keep you from having the relationships that you want. Are you willing to change those beliefs? Make a commitment to allow yourself to feel good and to have what you want. A belief is like a habit and if you don't like one that holds you back, you can change it. One at a time.

Understand that chaos and disruption in your life is normal and you should expect it when you challenge old ways of being and take on a new belief system especially one that is empowering. People may be used to you acting in a certain way and they might be uneasy when you begin to change. When or if your life feels overwhelming, take a moment, breathe and center yourself. If you do, you will find a calmness in your chaos and you'll be able to move forward from fear to joy.

In every relationship that you have, start being as conscious as possible in all ways. Consider whether your words and actions will build the relationship and take it higher or weaken and possibly destroy it. Take some time to figure out if and how you sabotage yourself from having the relationships and life that you want. If you do, your life will just get better. We sensible and reasonable with others as well. Your partner may not have the same fears or doubts and could see it as if you don't have the same interest as he or she does. This could cause relationship tensions. Clear the mind so you can be open to welcome the goodness of what is happening with you and your partner. Let there be bliss.

Bar advice. Communication with your partner is important so they understand you and not feel there is a problem in the relationship or themselves.

Topic of sex

2008-01-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

I meet up with a total sexy stranger online yesterday. We started talking about all sorts of stuff from her work, which is modelling, to relationship advice, her outfits she wears at shows and photo shoots and of course we headed to the topic of sex. She's half my age yet she was comfortable(being online) saying things but did get her a little shy at times when persisting for certain answers.

Anyway this is one hot babe who had all these great photos of her self and I could see them flashing on MSN messenger that we were chatting on. They just kept coming up one after another. A load of it and was either in sexy bikini, lingerie or car show outfits. There was even a Coppertone advertisement with two other girls in the sun. I was just blow away by her. Remember she can't see me as we weren't on cam.

As we got into all sorts of discussions, she revealed that she only ever had one boyfriend but he dumped here sometime after several occasions when they made love. She lost her virginity to him. Sadly, and it's more often than not, guys do and say anything to get the girl. What comes after is immaterial to them. He went for it, he scored and now he cheers. Who cries after? It's always the girl. She was just seventeen at the time. She also included a story(after the boyfriend) about a masseuse that came over to do her and friends but she ended up having sex with him. She said to me, "I was really stupid back then." She would actually prove to be so later that night.

As we kept going on about everything we could on the topic of sex, I started to realize that she was not all that bright about the matter. I asked if she knew or had done certain things and her answer was in the negative. That's when I felt that she was just pretending to be knowledgeable about things like intercourse, making love, cunnilingus, fellatio, sexual positions and even a subject that she brought up. Anal sex.

I gave comments about the sexy pictures she had. She liked it and I told her which ones I thought were the best. She was really interested in hearing my opinion that after I told her I would have loved to have seen what her tits would have looked like, she took a digital camera and took a shot of her tits to show me. She asked to keep it to myself. When I saw it, and boy was it a good set, I was blown away. However, naughty me asked for another one saying that the shot was taken too quickly. She refused and after some coaxing she agreed. With all the sweet words I used, I got her to basically take off all her clothes and snap more. I finally got four but when I asked for a shot of her virgina, she drew the line. More coaxing almost did the trick but it never materialised.

Her words about being "stupid" echoed in my head. I know she isn't but a stranger just got to see her naked. The power of the Internet in real time. I felt she was just more curious and naive so I asked her and she agreed that she was not sure what to do with her body. All parts of her was screaming for someone to really show her what it was like to be made love to as a woman. I of course volunteered myself. She declined at first, so should a young lady, but warmed up later after I reminded her that she had just let me see naked pictures of her. At this point I just want to add that she has one of the hottest looking bodies that I've seen in a long time especially with nipples that was howling at the moon. Not joking about it. Call me whatever you want but I couldn't pass up this beautiful creature after seeing her naked. Sorry I can't show her naked picture here for all to admire.

We were up to the point of me asking her for her address to "party" with her. She wanted me to describe the things I was going to do to her. I guess she must have also been turned on. She asked if I was intending to bring someone along, have anal sex with her and even told me that I couldn't cum inside her but only in her mouth. How much more descriptive can you get? These were her little inklings not mine. As it got till morning she decided to give it more time and come back to the messenger chat another time so we could get to know each other better. Why not? I almost got an album at this point of time. I can wait.

Bar advice. I keep telling people that sometimes you never know what to expect and here's the proof. Sure it's a little superficial but I had to and will continue to see how far I will be able to go with her. Looks set to continue later.

What to do on the second date?

2008-01-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

We seem to focus a lot on the "first dates". All the jitters and what it takes to make a good impression. What if you do? You're bound to be want a second date or more, otherwise what was it all for? This time, go pick her up. Preferably, try to get a little sexy love at the door to break the ice. At least give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She’ll think you’re happy to see her. They usually let you, so go for it. It gets the guy a little confidence to move toward more physical contact later, if possible.

What to do on the second date? You can do whatever you want for the evening. Take her to a bar then dancing. Maybe you could also take her to a bar and then dinner if you want. Avoid movies at all cost, they tend to put you both to sleep. Movies are for dates when you are together for a long time and it's something you both want to watch. Not when trying to get a persons intention. You could also cook dinner for her at your house or plan a certain thing that you want to do together or show her. In any case if your goal is to get her back to your place, or hers if she wants, don’t wait until you are ready to go home. Instead, ask early. Give an indication that you want some private time with them. Maybe they may like to share a bottle of wine or just come over to hang out a little and relax in each others company.

Once on your turf, they can be putty in your hands. An advanced technique for guys(hope I'm not giving anything away) guaranteed to speed up your time is quite simple. After some time when you’re making out on the couch or wherever with a girl, try telling her(with a strait face) that you never sleep with a women unless you've been dating them for at least a month. Then shut up! Do anything else for a few minutes. This will process through her mind for a while and then she’ll become the aggressor. Women love a challenge. Nine out of ten times she’ll jump your bones that night. She will want to be that "special" someone that can manipulate your actions than any other woman.

Bar advice. Some women prefer to take you to their place or somewhere else because they may not be comfortable being in your domain with such a short time knowing you. At this stage of a relationship, follow her lead.

Advice on email flirting

2008-01-19T19:10:00.000+08:00

Online dating gives you the opportunity to meet singles out there through the use of the Internet. However, you can also use another tool with people that you already know, or don't, and it's the email service. Emails that you exchange is a vital feature of online dating sites. Also for office or personal usage. Through emails, you could get to know more about someone or you could even flirt. An email can be very useful to flirt with anyone around who is an online junkie or is tied to the desk because of work. Here's advice from on how to effectively connect with anyone through email.

How can you effectively flirt using email? Flirting through emails is necessary at the beginning of your correspondence with single people. Flirting is the first step before you could meet face to face, unless you already know them, and that is what online dating subscribers, colleagues or friends are aiming for. Just like regular flirting, it all depends on your chemistry with the person. Even if you're bereft of body languages to use, with online chemistry, flirting may still fail.

Flirting is very crucial because most of the time, if not properly done, it sends misunderstood messages. One example is flirting using "about the past" messages. If you think that saying that you understand things like these because you experienced them beforehand, then you're wrong. This includes past girlfriends, relationships or break-ups. This will only make your online date uncomfortable. That's not a good way to flirt. Trying to flirt with someone in the office or some business contact will probably get you blocked.

You should also be careful about your grammar when flirting using emails. Women are easily turned off by men who don't know how to express themselves right in print. Men don't like having to read over what a woman has written as they already find it hard to understand them as it is. Wrong grammar and misspellings translate disasters. Like those cases where you interchange "your" with "you're"? Well make sure you proofread your messages before you actually send them. We're all busy and sometimes it's forgivable but we shouldn't have to try understanding what you write since it may already be hard just trying to understand you itself.

What you should do is write messages that stimulate the interest of your partner. One example is sending her humorous emails. You should use funny stories to your advantage but make sure not to go overboard. You should remember that you're actually flirting so insert harmless teases and ask them flirtatious questions to generate a response. There are a lot of people that like the online flirting emails especially if in the office because it gives them a chance to get away from routine. Also, just keep your emails short and simple. Long emails tend to bore people so just keep them light and readable. This way, your message will be clearly sent and not have the danger of being lost after the 100th paragraph. If you know what I mean. Do remember too that people have to work as well.

You could also try giving compliments through email. Show sincerity. This tells people that even though you are funny and playful, you also have a sensitive side. This will make them want to see you in person more. Sending an ecard can also add a touch of gift appreciation. It won't cost you any real money so why not? If you've been emailing someone at work, for example, than slowly make request about having some drinks after or maybe dinner. Even if things start to go well and you've become a couple, emails are like little reminders that you're thinking about that person. It's like you dropped by to say "hello". It shows your interest. The recipient will have a smile on their face.

Don't send out anyting on weekends. Why? Well, they'll think you're at home all the time. No real social life after work hours. May find it claustrophobic to have to answer emails all the time from you, including weekends. Only send something if it's like a surprise for the beginning of the work week or something you know they'll really like.

So there, my advice on email flirting is just make sure that your emails are short, funny and is free of any emotional anecdotes. Email flirting, like in actuality, still takes a lot of practice so don't be afraid to send messages and gauge the different reactions that you get. If you do it right, you'll be an expert at online flirting in no time.

Bar advice. Messenger services like Yahoo or MSN comes at a later stage. Remember that you can correct emails before you send it out but messenger service is in 'real time'. Don't make a mistake and say the wrong thing and blow your chances.

Advice for guys on talking to ladies.

2008-01-18T00:47:00.000+08:00

Guys, think a moment about what turns you on? Chances are, you're thinking to yourself about her legs, breast size or something else like that. That's alright, your thinking being that shallow is normal. It's not that men are dogs, it's that men are "visual". For most men, it's what we see in front of us that triggers attraction. It's not the be all and end all, but it dominates our first impressions.

Question is, how often do you think about what turns a woman on? You may be fooled by listening to ladies occasionally hooting at cute butts, saying something about a hot guy or swooning at Brad Pitt. Don't be! The way you strut plays a vital role. Women are much more in tune to body language, eye contact and non verbal communications, and that's where their buttons are pushed. Sure, a handsome man with a good body is attractive to women but he won't necessarily create attraction with their deeper level of wants. Attraction is created by style and attitude, by what women often call charm. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, good, because it can be learned. Just as BODY LANGUAGE trumps BODY SHAPE in attracting women, your VOICE will trump over your WORDS.

Guys trying to learn how to be more successful with women, turn to pick-up lines. Men seem to think the "right words" will move a girl's heart. Maybe it's because we've seen too many movies and you think you'll be able to get her just as easy as what you see on screen. Maybe we just can't get the difference between the jokes we tell, the things we said and what really works. If at some point you've thought that pick-up lines were the key to breaking the ice with a woman, you may be forgiven. Let's talk about what does work.

It doesn't really matter what words you use. You could have the best pick-up line in the world and it may fail but if you deliver your words well, it doesn't really matter what you say. Controlling your voice the right way will have a positive affect on many aspects of your life, but right now, we care about how it affects women. There are ways of speaking in a commanding, confident way that women find sexy and attractive. The easiest one is volume. Speak clearly and loudly doesn't mean you should yell at a woman. Your volume has to come naturally and should be the sort of thing that fills a room with your confidence. When you speak quietly, it communicates that you don't believe what you say has worth. That's the last thing you want. Don't stumble over words, be clear so you sound confident. Even hypnotic.

Another thing is speaking with confidence. When talking to ladies be a little less nervous. Women like a confident guy. She feels safer with him. She feels he's more worldly, more open, a better communicator and the fact that he can woo her makes her think you won't be an embarrassment in front of colleagues and friends of hers when introduced. She also feels that you'll be on par to communicate with her if it blossoms into a loving relationship further down the road.

Another thing, while in conversation, is be a little playful. Just like British comedies, throw in words with underline meanings. If she is on the same wave length as you she will pick them up on her radar. You can actually get a point across without never having said the actual words. Said something else and meant something completely different. The flirtatious word game is what you're trying to achieve here. The main thing is that she got the point and she may even start to get into this word playing game with you. The fact is, neither guy nor girl will really say what's on their mind in the early stages of getting to know each other. So, this lets them flirt openly but holds the dignity and respect of the lady's esteem. Now, just remember all this advice and start talking.

Bar advice. Breath deeply and calm yourself. when you know you're calm, that calm will quickly translate into COOL Someone in control of situations, a leader. An alpha male the girls want to be with.