Sunday, July 24, 2011

Social Network Sites

I am really thrown back at some of the people that join the social network sites, especially the women. I've seen on several sites, including Facebook, Hi 5, Tagged, My Space, Friendster and more, where they use the phrase "in a relationship" for their status. Some are provided as options on the site and some are typed in. Either way, it is loosely used.

Now why place that there and then start flirting with everyone? Some women even add sexy photos of themselves. Guys add photos of their body tattoos or abs and such. The fact that they state they are already in a relationship, and most probably are, then do everything that would piss off the person they are involved with who will be looking at their page as well, is just mind blowing. Best part, some encourage their partners by supporting the behaiviour as long as the status shows they are involved with someone.

Now a lot of conversations are posted on the sites for everyone to read, except personal messages of course, and when someone adds their view or states something inappropriate or just doesn't seem to fit into the other persons social circle; all hell can break loose. It seems everyone will jump on board to help criticize or pound the offender into the ground.

An example I saw would be where a girl uploaded a few photos of herself in a bikini. She looked great and her best "asset" was her fabulous breast and the cleavage. Now of course you'll get a few friends comment on them and that includes strangers that make semi decent ones as well. The thread was pretty long as she had a lot of friends(with assets like that who wouldn't), however, when one guy added a remark that he wish he could "bang" her, it became ugly. Suddenly one guy after another started to mention the guy's comment was inappropriate, not a nice thing to say, was an asshole, this and that. I'm sure you get the point.

Same thing similar happened also with a guy posting a pic of himself and comments that came in were good and bad. In his case other guys stated things like how he thought he was handsome, he was trying to attract another man's girlfriend and had no real substance and vulgarity became part of the whole thing. Even some girls added dislike to the guy and viciously voiced it in their comments. Oddly, a lot of them just weren't really interested in the string of comments but just threw their two cents worth to condemn the person.

Now the way I look at this is, firstly, it happens more so to singles that actual married people. So that tells me there are people looking for others and really trying to connect. Of course you have your perverts and hookers trying to see who, if they can, capitalize on any action. You also get some, actually plenty, of fake profiles but that doesn't stop them from making comments if they fancy or dislike someone. It seems people will say some weird stuff sometimes. Some want the attention and welcome everything and everybody just so they have a pile of friends that in real life falls short of how people truly perceive them.

I'm sure you've also seen things like this if you're in any of the social networks. Maybe you're one of the free for all condemning players as well. I think some guys tend to come to the "rescue" of the girls due to their own plan of trying to be Mr. Nice guy in the hopes of gaining favour in her eyes. They believe she will respond to them in a closer way, at least online for the start, and other possibilities in future. They also want other girls to see that they are a better person than others. This of course is the false front in their feeble attempt to become the "hero" in a situation where they are seen in a good light by everyone especially the girls.

Women also do this similarly but they are not as aggressive in their attempt but the ones that are not so good looking tend to make bolder statements in an attempt to shine more light on their intellect, conversational skills and trying to be more interesting so they can throw the guys scent off how their looks. In reality they are looking but modesty holds them back from really saying that the guy online is someone they will jump in the sack with, irregardless of their relationship status, but they can't and won't. Just leaving the thoughts of possibilities.

A lot of quarrels, squabbles and major break ups happen because of all this and everyone sees online and wants to be part of it, even if they make the problem happen in the first place. A lot of people are really to blame for the problem starting in the first place as a lot of them like the comments being made about themselves in photos and the flirting that takes place even though they know they are attached. Funny thing is, especially a for lot of girls when they do break up, will fully announce they are back looking, are free and available, back in the game, ready for a new beginning, on a fresh outlook at life and any other line they can think of to publicize their newly derived single status. Basically, they want the chase to begin again. Some sites, like Facebook, actually help make the announcement when you change anything on the page and that includes you status.

Bar Advice. Overall all these sites draw the good and the bad that happens in people's personal lives ......and we let it.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Returning With Love

I am returning with love and of course more advice to help others in need. It's been a while as I have been really busy doing affiliate and internet marketing. Doing business always takes a tole on people but I always say you have to leave time for some rest and relaxation.

But now I'm back to fill one gap of what I use to do and that's giving my two cents worth on relationship problems or any other issue that drives men and women crazy about each other or over each other. So the Unofficial Psychiatrist and Psychologist is back. The topic about returning with love is appropriate, not only for me and this blog but for a story of that nature.

I'll keep it brief as it's the first post in a long time. There's this girl I know who worked as a domestic helper and after her two years away working she returned home to find so many things changed at home. The son sold off crops from the field only to pocket some of the money for himself. The daughter asked for her to send money home at one point to buy medicine for her grandson but later it was discovered she wanted to buy a piece of jewelry that was on sale and a great price. Basically she lied about it as she thought the mother would refuse. 

Worse of all was this lady's own mother secretly sold of a portion of land that was left by her late father to her. Upon discovering all this, naturally being human, got really upset about this. Now here's the twist. She had won about twenty thousand from the local lottery just before returning home and wanted to share her winnings as a gift. Instead she bought back the land sold by her mother, bought her own jewelry and got her son to repaint the entire house with him buying the paint of course. Nobody argued and everyone was a little terrified for all their wrong doings. Except one. The grandson of her daughter.

This boy always made her laugh and smile when she called home. After three days of silence, beside speaking to the grandson only, she gathered everyone to a discussion. After venting a little anger still, she mentally stepped back and took a breath, then started a heart felt talk with them. She told them she was returning with love and joy only to find deceit and lies but although disappointed she forgave them, being a Christian, all because times are hard and the economy is bad. Plus, she added, she was blessed with a small fortune before her return and she showed them her bank account statement. They nearly fell to the floor.

She made them promise never to do all that again, gave them each a thousand and a week later returned to her work overseas. Till today, if any of them need anything, they ask. The story of their discussion at home is more in depth with religious aspects included but basically the message got through. Now she frets not about the home front especially the fact that her grandson will not learn such practices and pick it up from anyone at home. 

She divulged that she later sent more money home to buy additional land and added extension to the house. Looks like things are on the right track. So her story is ongoing and that is also going to be mine with this blog.

Bar advice. Sometimes even the people we think we know best can change. So, communicate constantly.