Saturday, March 22, 2008


We're going to talk about some roadblocks now. You may have the attitude and the moves but there are always going to be twists thrown at you along the way. Ever been stood up? Have a woman show up an hour late with little or no warning? Whine when she isn't getting her way? Sure you haven't. Why does this happen?

The truth is, most of the time this sort of behavior is your own fault. Yes, your own. It comes from your initial meetings. Either she didn't have as much fun with you as she should have. Maybe you gave an indication that you can be walked over or she just plain didn't get excited by you. These are all things you can solve by perfecting your relaxed confidence and playful attitude. That will get rid of most flaky behavior. Sometimes women do this just to see what kind of man you REALLY are! Maybe she wants to see you again but refuses your first request for her number. She might say she does that because she doesn't want to be seen as easy. What this really does is reveal who she's dealing with. How do you react to the pressure? Do you get nervous, defensive? Flee? Do you bow your head, shrink your shoulders and don't say anything?

Oftentimes the woman just wants to see if the confident face you're presenting is for real. Women have tons of tests they use on men. Most of them unconscious but after being approached by hundreds or thousands of guys over the years, women need this sort of thing to separate the wheat from the chaff. Don't be thrown. Recognize it as a test and don't let it break your character. Lots of guys know they shouldn't just cave in but they swing too far the other way, and scare women off. You want to stay playful. Liking what she decides to do in any situation isn't given huge importance in your life. You're going to have fun regardless and if she's smart she'll join in but if not, her loss.

If you're in a bar and the woman doesn't want to be led to another area, feel free to tease. You don't want to constantly try to please her because she'll know it. She'll slowly lose respect for you and set the bar higher and higher. The further you bend over backwards to please her, the less she'll like you. It's a strange world but if you make it clear that being boring, being difficult or worst of all being (legitimately) bratty isn't something you're going to allow into your life, not only will you gain her respect and pass her tests and you'll probably have to deal with such behavior a lot less.

Another example is if you're on the phone and your lady gives you a wishy-washy, "maybe", type answer when you set up a meeting, cut off the possibility of a no-show from the get-go. A strong statement telling her you dislike uncertain answers or displeasure in negativity leading to possible no-shows will set things straight. This will usually shocks a lady out of her doubt or, worst case, you'll find out early on whether she'll be there or not. Your attitude should be "I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you're welcome but if you're going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I'll look elsewhere for interesting people." As the above statement makes clear, this isn't just about early tests. This roadblock can be a hard hit. If you've got a girl you've been seeing a while but she starts getting negative or whiny, the same sort of thing applies.

Your goal is to advance into a relationship later on so get out that "attraction journal" and mark a page "tests." Write down every test you can think of. Everything that's happened to you or you can imagine happening. They can be things women do to find out about your true character. Maybe to find out if you're real or just an act or they can simply be things that test your cool and control. Then, under each entry, write down ways you can keep your cool. Lines you can use. Images you can call up to help you stay in the right frame of mind. Triggers that bring out your relaxed happy self. Leave plenty of space, because you'll constantly find new tests from them and you'll also come up with better responses over time.

Plus, when you get a very confident sharp woman, these sorts of exchanges can go back and forth almost indefinitely and you don't want to be the one to break the chain. When the sexual tension is being dialed so high, you need to have the confidence to keep bringing it further. Trust me. She'll end up ripping your clothes off but you can't change into a wimp in front of her eyes. It's like a beautiful woman smiling and revealing secretly she's got no underwear on. It will drive you crazy. You'll want her but restrain is in order as well so you don't look desperate.

Bar advice. Looking out for these these test or roadblocks may not be as easy but just remember they're there and it'll be easier if you can spot them early.

No comments: