Sunday, October 21, 2007

Being a gentleman gets you the girls

Yes that's right. You want to be a gentleman in small ways and do small courtesies for her. Like opening and closing the car's passenger side door for her to get in or holding the door open for a woman and allowing her to walk through first. How about allowing the woman to step off the elevator first before you do. If she's wearing a genuinely nice dress or an interesting accessory, to compliment her on it. Also listening to her, genuinely listening to her when she has something to say.

Now notice that none of these small courtesies have anything to do with money. By being chivalrous, you are not attempting to buy her affections. Instead, you're showing her courtesies that she would expect any guy with a good heart to show all women, regardless of whom the woman was or her looks. After all, wouldn't you hold the door open for your grandmother or help her down the steps? Wouldn't you genuinely listen to what your best friend had to say?

Chivalrous behavior shows to a woman that you have a side of you that is of a refined gentleman. It's your protective side the side of you that would look after her if she got sick and be there to feed her chicken soup. Well maybe she hates chicken but you get the point. She'll know that you'll be there for her.

Chivalrous behavior demonstrates to a woman that you have social intelligence that you act appropriately in different social situations. For example, if she found herself at the Presidential Ball with you, she would know you could hold your own with the suit wearing elites and wouldn't act like some foul mouthed jackass. If she introduced you to her parents she would know you wouldn't slap her ass in front of her dad or crack dirty jokes in front of her mom.

Of course, being chivalrous in small ways doesn't mean being careful and conservative about how you act around women. Chivalry doesn't mean becoming a boring stiff who is always worried whether he's acting in the right manner. Also, chivalry doesn't mean "Knightly Chivalry" where you ride in on a white horse, recite poems, and sprinkle rose pedals around her feet like she's Queen Guinevere. Being chivalrous isn't the same as being wishy-washy "nice".

For example, after helping her out of the car, you might make a funny face at her. A few minutes after holding her hand down some steps you might start a tickling match with her. After noticing her new dress makes her look sexy, you might give her a playful slap on the ass. The key is to be relaxed, playful and fun and punctuate it with chivalric behavior.

Surprise her by showing how much a gentlemen you can be at moments, and how much a gentleman you are to ALL women including your friends, relatives, and even total strangers. You may hit her by surprise in the back of the head gently with a pillow or call her a "dork" in a teasing kind of way, but you also help old ladies across the street. When she hear others complementing how much of a chivalrous guy you are, she'll see you with different eyes.

Remember, you want her to think that you're a good guy with a good heart, not a wet noodle of a "nice guy" who will do anything for her no matter how badly, rudely or childish she acts. Small acts of courtesy will get you farther in this respect than any number of large gifts.

A lot of guys think that they have to buy their way to a woman's heart or at least have enough money, looks, cars, profession, and so on to win a woman's affections. For those that don't have these, what do you do? A woman will stick by you through thick and thin if you possess true manly qualities that SHE desires.

Bar advice. Following the example of "James Bond" in movies, you can sense that he's seen by all the women as the sort that they desire. Take that as an example of chivalry and courtesies.

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