Sunday, August 12, 2007

Love and marriage

A student asked a teacher. "What is love ?"

The teacher said, "In order to answer your question. Go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi stalk and come back. But the rule is, you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick another."

The student went to the field, went through the first row and saw one big padi stalk, but he wondered, maybe there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one but thought may be there is a even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he start to realise that the padi was not as big as the initial one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted it. So he went back to the teacher with empty hands.

The teacher said "This is love. You keep looking for a better one, but when you realised it, you have already missed the right one"

"What is marriage then ?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is, you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick another."

The student went to the corn field. This time he was careful not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt satisfied himself and came back to the teacher.

The teacher said, "This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you got. This is marriage."

Here is a lesson that represents what we do in life. How we loose sight of what is right in front of us. We can continue to search for love. We hope for the best decision when it comes to choosing the person that we marry. Can it be so difficult? The answer is yes. We make it difficult. We place all kinds of barriers in front of us. Things like pleasing our parents. Searching for a comfortable life. Working to achieve success and having no time for relationships. Not seeing eye to eye with others. Thinking that material things comes with marriage. Not open to change or setbacks in a relationship. Not understanding that the simple things and opening of ones heart is real love.

Most guys by forty and gals at thirty five find that they may have "missed the boat" when it comes to settling down. It looks bleak at times. The main reason is that we don't put in the intention of marriage in our heads. Some had a bad experience with a guy/girl. Thrusting a person may become difficult. Mostly it's because in this day and age people don't think of rushing into marriage. There's lot's of opportunities that they don't want to miss out on. The last thing on their minds is to be tied down forever.

We end up later in life watching our friends playing with their children. Seeing people walking their kids down the aisle. Others kissing each other and holding hands. We start to imagine what it would be like to have been married and not be so lonely at times.

Bar advice. It's still not to late. Put yourself out there. Join a singles social network or go online like friendfinder. There's a lot of people that are in this boat still looking as well.

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