Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sexualize your relationship

Sometimes, despite all of your efforts to sexualize a woman, when it comes down to the moment of sex, a woman still shuts herself down mentally. Don’t take it personally. Most likely the woman has legitimate concerns that worry her, preventing her from sleeping with you even if she otherwise wants to.

Some women, even if highly sexualized, are extremely worried about the word getting out to their friends or family that they had sex and being labeled a “slut”. Other women are worried about catching a disease or getting pregnant but they don’t want to ask you to wear a condom for fear of being a “slut” or they don’t even think to ask. Some just fear that after you have your way you'll dump her and talk to your friends about her and she'll be out of place and embarrassed when seeing you and your friends again.

sometimes they really like you and they’re afraid that after sleeping with you, you’ll disappear from their lives and hurtful, miserable feelings will surface. They fear that by sleeping with you or take steps to sexualize your relationship, they’ll lose their power over you and they don’t want to give up that leverage. Maybe the girl might be a virgin and is simply scared of the whole unknown experience in general. Although you can’t know specifically what her particular fear is, you can preemptively address and ally her possible fears with some heart to heart talk.

Simply hold her in your arms and tell her that you always wear a condom when making love to a woman so that she trusts she won't catch an STD or get pregnant. Tell her that you look forward to waking up with her tomorrow and that you don’t want her to look back on the experience with any regrets, implying that you won’t think of her as a slut for sleeping with you and that you won’t ditch her the very next day.

Again, you’re doing some “mind reading” in your efforts to sexualize her in the hopes of addressing her particular fears but guess what, it works. A little understanding and addressing a woman's fears is often enough to make her comfortable enough to continue. She needs a little assurance before going all out. That's perfectly normal.

Guys sometimes are too excited and over ambitious to jump in the sack with a woman, even if they did'nt have any ill intentions towards her, that she becomes a little scared. Sure, all guys want to get into her pants the moment they lay eyes on her but the thing is if you're the one that got her, take it slow. Give her room to breath and wait a little for her to make a move to the sexual timing of the relationship. It will happen.

Bar advice. Women want to have sex as well. It's natural. Take a patient and understanding approach to her concerns.

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