Thursday, May 3, 2007

Dirty Dancing

I just met this girl from a salsa bar that came by to my place. Kat's here name. I'm nicknaming her "meow". She is a sweet looking kitten. A little petite and in great shape. That's because she's taking up dancing lessons. Salsa.

Hot and steamy, dirty dancing, hips gyrating, pelvis shaking and kick ass moving. What more can I say. Well, when I met her the second time she was in this really tight outfit that contoured her body. Drool guys. Anyway, the third time, she was at the bar to meet a friend but she arrived first so it gave me an opportunity to talk to her. During the conversation I mentioned to her about the whole 'hot ass' that I was checking out and we had a nice laugh about it. She even said that she was glad that she still has admirers out there. A bit of reverse flirting from her but why wouldn't there be. Dancers are always in good shape. Where has anyone come across a dancer that was out of shape? It's just as good as doing exercises. A great cardiovascular workout.

Later we started talking about zodiac signs. We spoke a little about it on our second meet and we got into talking about the characteristics and compatibility of others. She said that her sign is Aries and a Dragon. I have emailed her all about the Dragon but I left out the Aries part so I decided to write it here.

When they are in top form (which is often) Aries are: valorous, dexterous, affable, gifted, enterprising,well-meaning, quick-witted , lusty, daring, persuasive, competent, honest and thrifty.

But at their worst, Aries are promiscuous, willful, excessive, gullible, sanctimonious, authoritarian, rigid, belligerent, self-indulgent, isolate , brash, tightfisted, pushy and obstinate beyond all reason.

The very essence of Aries is vigor. They are born dynamic and spend their lives demonstrating a titanic ability to accomplish both manual and creative tasks in a trice. They are single-minded, capable and charmingly, babyishly naïve.

Aries is symbolized by the Ram.Rams are ramrod strong. They are also famous for tumbling slews of Damsels in distress. So not only are they powerful, Rams are uncommonly sexual.

This Ram portrait.
Aggressive, pushy and adolescently horny - is about right on where your average Aries human is concerned. Aries people are hard driving go-getter's who invariably overdo and over achieve. Aries is the first sign of the western zodiac. Untested, unsophisticated and genuine to a fault. Aries charges through life, bumping into obstacle after obstacle then getting bravely up, only to wonder where the lumps and scrapes and bruises came from. She holds no grudges. She'd rather forget the whole ugly experience and carry on as though nothing had happened. Aries live mostly in the present, ignore disagreeable memories and do not belabor the future.

Aries are believers in life with a capital 'L'. They really trust in their heart of hearts that everything is going to work out all right. When it doesn't. They simply pretend that it did.

Aries are not even remotely brainless. But they are stubbornly naive. They protect their innocence and refuse to admit to cynicism or cunning. People born in Aries don't fare well in shady dealings or tolerate folks who have dubious motives. For most Aries, if the world were a perfect place, life would be chockablock with nice people who do nice things for each other in a very nice atmosphere. Obviously, Aries are often disappointed in others.

Aries are also forthright. They blurt out exactly what they think. They adore spontaneity, prefer not to have to plan ahead and don't mind having to react instantaneously. This absolute worship of the seat-of-the-pants method of action can cause others to misapprehend Arie's motives. Not to worry. Aries are unusually true blue. They don't like to lie (unless they're lawyers) and just about never conceal their intentions. In fact, they don't seem to have deep seeded intentions. Just facts and results.

The Aries chasm is deep. They fall and fall down some more. When they finally hit bottom, they have to creep around on their hands and knees picking up rocks and turning over pebbles looking for a shred of soulful emotion. Aries are doers and goers who get on admirably with the business of life. Aries always favor outcome over emotion. They claim to love luxury and pleasure but whenever they get some lush leisure time, they find themselves bored and hurry up to get the down time over with so they can jet back into action.

In love, Aries are devoutly committed. However, due to their obsessive naive, they are stunned when love fails. "He left with my best friend! I got home from work. No clothes! No dog! No furniture! They were all gone!" Poor Aries. She didn't hear her lover's complaints or notice his numerous flirtations or understand his emotional needs.

So if you love one of these brave, soldierly creatures, don't expect to be drowning in fountains of emotion. However, on the plus side, you won't have to put up with much depression either. Get on with enjoying how talented your Aries partner is for fixing the plumbing, decorating the family room and taking the bus. She needs to be busy. Can't sit still sometimes.

Professions? Aries can do anything that requires keeping perpetually busy. They make wonderful painters and sculptors and ceramists because they are precise and work so well with their hands. I don't see much hope for Aries psychiatrists or private detectives or police officers. Aries people should stick to hands on jobs like engineering and architecture and designing and plumbing and heating and sewing and surgery and maybe even driving the bus. Hopefully one can become a salsa teacher.

Bar advice. I know she's going to 'kill' me for writing this but when you're in this business, we give out the advice that others won't. I don't know how to dance salsa but this is the only dirty dancing I can do with an Aries/Dragon. 'Hot ass', if you're reading, see you on Saturday.

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