Monday, May 7, 2007

Being single till love comes along

Our planet is brimming with lots of people; undeniably though, finding true love can be considered a risky business. Love is supposed to be a beautiful feeling with lots of happy thoughts emanating from the whole package of being in love, so why is finding true love considered a difficult challenge?

Most of us grew up with some fairy tale story about how a poor girl finds love with a handsome prince or a movie like Sinbad, where he gets the Maharajahs daughter. When we have seen shows or read books like that when we are young and our mom is sobbing at the end of the show because they lived happily ever after, we think that life is just like that. We wait and nothing happens. People don't really seem to bother at first when they're still young but when the mid thirties and forties creep on them, the panic starts to rattle slowly. You end up dealing with parents that want to match make you. Maybe even friends or colleagues that have brothers that you just assume kiss a frog than shake his hand.

Is finding love really so hard though? Or do we just make it hard? Finding love is not hard, but sometimes it takes a long time. So if you are single now then you are likely going go be single for awhile.Why? you got to open your heart to want to let someone love you. All material things, looks, race and more can be put aside or compromised to suit each the mean time you're still single.

Here are some advantages of being single:

1. You are independent.
Basically you can do what you want when you want. You don't have to wait, you don't have to ask, you can just go.

2. More time when you're single.
You don't have to sit around doing nothing. Want to go to the bar? Want to join the hiking club? Play an instrument? How about taking salsa lessons? Want to take a course? Learn a new hobby? Go for a holiday? Sleep with someone you met? Who's stopping you?

3. No need to deal with a partners personal habits.
You can sleep without listening to someones snoring and hog all the blankets all the time and nobody cares. You don't have to pick up after anyone but yourself. And you don't even have to pick up after yourself if you don't want to.(Don't do that when you're with someone or he'll think you're a slob). You can prance around naked at home if you like. Give your patience a well-deserved break.

4. You can be spontaneous.
Be daring! Do what you want when you want to and who cares if you don't get to dinner until midnight? Do something out of the ordinary, without having to get permission first or calling ahead. This is freedom!

5. Focus on your career.
You can channel your energy into your work. Without a relationship, you have a lot more time. Put in those extra hours and impress your boss, or take on new projects.

6. You are your own boss.
Relationships need compromise and you don't always get your own way. Both people in a relationship have to give something up for the greater good of the relationship. Do what you want and treat yourself more? Selfishness is good for the soul(in small doses) but when we get married we do everything for the family. We sacrifice work, freedom, money, self and more for partner and even children. You have to know what you are seeking deep in your heart.

Don't stress! That special someone is out there and you can and will find them. It just takes time. For some it's later for others it was a mistake. The rest are coping. It's true. Isn't it?

In the meantime, enjoy being single for a while. In fact, if you can't be happy being single, you will never be happy with your soul mate! Kind of like rich and poor. There are lots of poor people who are happy and lots that are unhappy. Same with rich people. Lots are happy and lots are unhappy. Now what do you think would happen if we took a poor person who was unhappy, and gave them lots of money? Guess what? They would probably be happy for a short time, but it wouldn't last and eventually they would be just as unhappy as they were.

Ever wonder why that is? Being happy comes from inside of you not outside. OK, you are single; enjoy yourself and that special person will come along before you know it!

Bar advice. For those that are parents now with children. Change the fairy tale stories a little to emphasise the realities of the modern world but remind them of the oldest and most cherished thing. Love.

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